Aftershocks: Sequel to Battle Scars
by SarahCullen17
Summary: Bella made her choice at the end of "Battle Scars" but what happens next for Bella, EJ, and Abby? A journey full of love, choices, parenthood, family, and the transition from infancy to the toddler years! Full of fluff, drama, angst, and lots of "bugs!"
1. Not Now

**STOP! This story is a sequel to my previous story, "Battle Scars." If you haven't read it, this story won't make any sense whatsoever. Go on my profile and read BS first.**

**Now, if you've read BS...yay! The sequel is here! I'm not sure how long it will be-hopefully not as long as BS-but we'll just have to see!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all recognizable characters. I own any bugs that happen to pop up in this story.

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Chapter One: "Not Now" Edward's POV  
**

_I pulled in to my parents' driveway, noticing that my love Bella was frozen next to me. I took her hand in mine, softly stroking her skin, and put the car in park. "Are you ready for this?" I asked her._

_ "What are we going to tell them?" she asked, pursing her lips in worry._

_ "Whatever you think we should tell them," I replied._

_ She glanced in the backseat, where her children—our children?-were strapped in their car-seats. "Nana?" Abby asked happily._

_ Bella bit her lip and looked back at me. "I'm going to have to tell them I'm separated from Jacob…"_

_ "Yes," I nodded, "but what do you want to tell them about us?"_

_ "Nothing," she decided after a minute of pensiveness. "Considering that I'm not even sure how to classify…us…then let them assume what they want to assume. Right?"_

_ "Sounds good to me."_

_ She gave me a small smile. "Emmett will be the first one to say something."_

_ I shook my head. "Mom will corner me as soon as you're not looking."_

_ "I'll be sure to keep my eyes on you, then," she replied. "Edward? You love me, right?"_

_ "More than anything," I promised her._

_ She finally beamed. I had missed that wide smile. "Then I can do this."_

_ I quickly pressed a kiss to her temple and cut the engine of my Volvo. "Of course you can. Come on, silly. Emmett's going to eat all of the food."_

_ I pulled EJ out of his car-seat while she retrieved Abby. I walked into the house confidently, giving Bella an encouraging wink. That little flash of a smile from earlier was already gone. She had too much on her mind._

_ "Edward!" Mom exclaimed happily, coming to kiss my cheek._

_ "Hi, Nana!" EJ greeted her._

_ "Hello, my sweets," she replied, kissing him. "Nana has made lots of goodies for you and your mommy and sister!"_

_ "Did you just go on a cooking spree or something?" Bella asked as she set Abby on her feet._

_ "Yeah, I was in the mood for turkey and dressing," Mom shrugged, pulling Bella into her arms. "Darling, you look more rested than you have in a very long time."_

_ Blood tinted Bella's cheeks. "Edward let me sleep all night and all day," she admitted, throwing me a grateful smile._

_ "That's my boy," Mom winked at me. "And Bella, how is Jacob? I know you went to see him today."_

The harsh beeping of the alarm clock jarred me out of my dream. My eyes snapped open. The gray light of a rainy morning was tinting Bella's bedroom, casting a pearly sheen across my love's face. She was peacefully asleep, snuggled into my side, even snoring a little.

For some reason, her tiny snores were utterly adorable. I appreciated them because it meant she was sleeping well.

I slammed the top of the alarm clock, effectively shutting it up, and let out a long sigh. In response, Bella pulled herself tighter to me and rested her head on my chest.

"You're not making getting out of bed any easier," I whispered to her, stroking her hair.

As if she heard me, she smiled.

I had been having flashback dreams for a while now in the few weeks since she had separated Jacob. It was like so much had happened that my brain needed to process the scenes over and over again. Before I had been so rudely interrupted, I was dreaming about the night she had kissed me. It was one of the greatest nights of my life, if not the absolute greatest. I didn't mind reliving that one over again.

I closed my eyes and put a hand on her hair, as if that were keeping her permanently close to me. She was so warm and soft and just plain cuddly. I could see why the bugs loved to snuggle so much—Bella was good at it.

All too soon, my snooze alarm went off. This time I sat up to turn it off, trying to wake myself up.

"Edward?" Bella mumbled.

"I'm here."

"Come back to bed, sweetie."

I smiled involuntarily. "I have to get ready for work. You stay and get some more sleep."

She tilted her head toward mine, her puckered lips searching. I bent and gave her a gentle kiss that made her lips curve upward in a grin. "I'll make breakfast," she said sleepily. I had a feeling that she wasn't even conscious of what she was saying.

"No, you go back to sleep."

She didn't reply this time, so I very quietly moved out of bed and stepped into the hallway. There was only silence coming from the nursery; Abby and EJ were still asleep. I tiptoed down to the bathroom and started my shower. The hot spray felt good and threatened to send me back into sleep.

_Alice interrupted before Bella could come up with a logical answer. "Bella! You no longer have bags underneath your eyes!"_

"_Thanks," Bella said a bit sarcastically._

_I wanted to tell her that she looked beautiful, but I held back._

_Mom, with her sixth sense, could see that something thick was hanging in the air, so she quickly diffused the situation. "Let's go eat," she said enthusiastically._

_It looked like everyone was at the house. Mom had promised me she would keep it small for Bella's benefit, but obviously my sweet mother couldn't just turn people away from her table. Dad was talking with Jasper about medical terms I couldn't understand. Emmett and Rosalie were arguing over whether or not Rose really should be "eating for two." For the first time in a long time, with a protective hand on the small of Bella's back, I felt like my family was finally complete. Especially when EJ cooed something and gave me a sloppy kiss before shouting, "Doc!"_

_Dad turned around. "Hey, kiddo," he greeted EJ. "I hope you're hungry, because your Nana has been working hard."_

"_Let's sit down," Mom smiled. I kept EJ in my lap and sat next to Bella, who was having a baby-talk conversation with Abby. Mom started passing around the large plates of food._

"_How is he?" Rosalie asked Bella softly, slapping Emmett's hand as he tried to steal her roll._

"_Fine," Bella said listlessly, spooning out a little dressing onto a plate for Abby. "Edward, can you pass the English peas, please?"_

"_Sure," I said, obeying her wish and taking the dressing from her so I could feed EJ._

_Dad cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Rosalie, how was your checkup today?"_

"_Wonderful," my future sister-in-law gushed, and I could already see the glow in her face._

"_We heard the baby's heartbeat," Emmett added. "He's a strong little bug."_

"_So no bombshells were dropped?" Jasper asked, and I knew he was referring to Bella's ultrasound that discovered there were two bugs instead of one._

"_No," Rosalie said. "I'll leave the bombshells to Bella."_

I suddenly heard a pounding on the door. The soap had been rinsed off my body so I turned the water off. "Bella?"

"Daddy!" Abby exclaimed from the other side of the door. "Daddy!"

I grinned. Bella had obviously already gotten up against my wishes and had started the day with the kids. "Just a minute, Abby-Bug," I said as I put my flannel pajama pants and t-shirt back on. After I was dressed, I opened the door and scooped the little girl up, kissing her face.

"Good morning," I told her clearly, trying to lull her into copying me. "Good morning, Abby."

"Daddy," she said simply, squeezing my neck with a dazzling smile on her face.

"Go see your mommy so I can get dressed, okay?" I put her on her feet and pointed toward the kitchen, where I could hear Bella preparing breakfast.

After she ran off, I went to the closet and found the suit I had brought over the night before.

"_I'm not sure I could handle another set of twins," Alice admitted. "My credit cards would turn to dust from being swiped."_

"_You mean __**my**__ credit cards," Jasper grinned at my little sister._

"_Well, when we're married, what's yours is mine—"_

"_I'm getting a divorce," Bella suddenly announced, interrupting Alice._

_I heard the scrape of forks as they froze on plates. In total and utter shock, I turned to see her judging the expressions of my family confidently. She didn't seem to be self-conscious at all. I was proud of her._

"_What?" Alice asked, her voice small._

"_We decided today," Bella said before nonchalantly taking a bite of turkey._

"_W-what did Jacob say?" Dad queried. Everyone was still frozen._

"_It was a mutual decision," Bella shrugged. "Emmett, will you pass the butter, please?"_

_My brother did, indeed, pass the butter, after mumbling, "Talk about bombshells..." But I felt his eyes—and my mother's eyes—flicker to me meaningfully._

_I just concentrated on helping the bug in my lap with eating green beans._

I walked into the kitchen, fully dressed and groomed, with my tie hanging over my shoulder. EJ and Abby saw me and ran to tackle my legs. I laughed and picked them up. "Good morning, loves."

"I made you on omelet," Bella told me, taking plates to the table.

"You really didn't have to—"

"I _like_ taking care of you, Edward," she told me a bit firmly before standing on her tiptoes to kiss my chin. "So quit complaining and just enjoy your omelet, okay?"

I smiled at her. "Yes, love."

I wanted another kiss, but I didn't want to carry things too far. She was still a bit sensitive about a few things. So I put EJ and Abby in their high chairs and helped Bella cut up one omelet between them.

"Is it good?" she asked me as I took my first bite.

"It's wonderful," I replied. "You're a fantastic cook, and you know it."

She smiled as she drank in my compliments. I knew that Jacob had grown sparse with his compliments in the last days of their marriage, so I tried to be generous with mine. It wasn't hard to find things to compliment Bella on, though. She was perfect in every way—beautiful, kind, intelligent, funny, caring, loving, and a _really_ great chef.

I went to the counter to pour up the pot of coffee between us. I added just the right amount of cream to hers before handing it to her.

"Thanks," she said quietly, watching me as I grabbed some sippy cups and put milk in them.

"So what are you doing today?" I asked her after I had given the bugs their drinks.

She swallowed uncomfortably. "I'm…uh…going to see Jacob in the hospital."

My heart sank, even though I knew it was irrational. "Oh," I said quietly, staring at my omelet.

"Don't be mad," she requested quietly. "He is still my husband, technically."

"What are you going for?"

"I have to check on his progress," she explained, running a hand through her long mahogany hair. Even though it was in the morning and she hadn't showered, it was still so pretty and shiny. "I need to know when he'll be discharged and when he's going to come move out. I need to know where the heck he is going when he moves out. And we have to discuss the divorce…"

"Yeah," I said quietly. "That's true."

She sighed and came to sit in my lap. "Edward, I love _you_. I do still love him, but I'm getting over that. I can't continue to love a man who has left bruises on me and who doesn't love my children. _You _are the object of my affection. I know it's taking me a while to give myself to you fully…"

"No," I interrupted her, kissing her shoulder, where the bruises had been. "I understand, sweetie. I just…worry about you being alone with him."

"I'll be fine," she promised me.

"Are you going to take the bugs to see him?"

She shook her head. "No…I know I will have primary custody, but frankly, I don't _want _him to warm up to them at all. I would prefer to let my children only know one daddy when they're older—_you_."

I wrapped my arms around her, unsure of how to answer her. I kissed her temple before asking, "Are you okay? Do you want me to take today off?"

"Oh, I'm fine," she immediately assured me. "You can't just keep taking days off. I'm a strong person, too."

"I know you are," I replied. "You're the strongest person I know."

She smiled and softly kissed my lips. I suppose it was wrong to do this while she was still married, but it was on her own accord. Jacob wasn't much of a husband, anyway—completely absent and distant.

However, she pulled away when I instinctively tried to deepen the kiss.

"Not right now," she said simply, using the same excuse she always did, climbing out of my lap and walking to the sink to wash the skillet.

"I'm sorry," I said contritely, once again unsure of how to approach her."

"It's fine," she said sincerely. "I know, I'm not a complete woman…yet…"

"You're perfect," I replied. "Don't worry about me. Just focusing on healing yourself."

She gave me a smile and stepped back over to me to knot my tie. When her handiwork was perfect, she pulled me close and laid her head on my chest. "Have a good day at work, Rhett."

I involuntarily grinned at the nickname. "Have a good day with the chil'uns, Scarlett. Do you want me to come over for dinner, or vice versa, or do you want a night alone with the kids?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh, I guess I can stand to see you again…"

I chuckled. "Dinner at my place, then."

"Sounds like a plan, sweetie."

And then she kissed my cheek as a goodbye.

Happy with that little token of her love, I kissed the kids goodbye, grabbed my briefcase like I was in a 1950s sitcom, and headed out to face the workforce. My mind started to wander as I drove into Forks.

_"So, should I say 'congratulations'?" Rosalie asked a bit nervously._

_Bella gave a small, brave smile and nodded. "I think that you could consider that to be the correct sentiment. It definitely is for the safety of the bugs. They were the deciding factor."_

_Mom reached across the table and squeezed Bella's hand. "I'm so proud of you, sweetie. You're such a good mommy."_

_"Thank you, Esme," Bella nodded._

_Jasper gave her much of the same compliment._

_"So," Emmett said slowly, trying to sound casual. "What about you and Ed-"_

_"Emmett," Rosalie hissed. "Not now."_

I frowned as I stopped at a stop sign.

Call me impatient, but it seemed like the only answer I was getting was "not now."

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**_As always, reviews __are appreciated._**

**_I hope my American readers had a fantastic, filling Thanksgiving!  
_**


	2. Hesitance

**This story is actually pretty difficult to write. Stay patient with me.****

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Chapter Two: "Hesitance" Bella's POV**

"Thanks for doing this, Alice," I told my best friend as my children ran comfortably in her house. They had been here so much that Aunt Alice and Uncle Jazz's house was _their h_ouse, too. Actually, so was Nana and Doc's, and Aunt Rose and Uncle Em's, and of course Edward's—Daddy's I mean. "I really appreciate it."

She waved the favor off. "I love to keep my bugs. I just want you to work out a divorce with Jacob so you can be my sister-in-law."

I winced. "I'm not thinking about that yet. I'm still trying to put my current marriage to rest."

"That's understandable," she agreed, "but I _know_ it's going to happen, Bella. I have one of my feelings."

I rolled my eyes. "Ah, one of the amazing feelings. Look, I really have to run. They had a morning nap but they'll probably need another one after three PM."

"Alright. Have fun!"

"I'm going to the hospital to see my estranged husband," I grumbled. "There is nothing fun about that."

"I know," she grinned wickedly. "But like I said, I just want you to get this over with."

Jacob had been partaking in physical therapy over the past few weeks. They were about to discharge him—probably another week or so—but before that happened, we had to make some arrangements. There was no way in hell he was going to come home to me and the kids—not after he had snapped.

"Hey," I said softly as I approached his bed. He was sitting up, which was a good sign, and flipping through the television channels. He was only still in the hospital because they were scared he would shatter his leg bone again. Apparently he had left the impression that he didn't take care of himself. Of course, that was ridiculous. He always made sure _he_ was taken care of. He didn't care about anyone else.

"Hey," he replied, his eyes distant.

"Any news?"

"Five days."

I tried not to let out a long sigh of relief. "Well, we have to figure _something_ out."

"I'm going to stay with my dad until I'm able to get outta Washington," he informed me. "So I won't be infringing upon you."

"Where are you going to go?" I inquired.

He sighed. "I'm thinking Fort Sam Houston in Texas. They have a good medical center that I could get physical therapy at. You know, before I'm deployed."

_Like the Army is just going to hand you another tour like a perfume sample. _"That makes sense," I lied. "But you know we have to resolve things before you bail town."

"You're getting the house, your car, your bike, the kids, and I'll pay child support until their eighteenth birthday and alimony until you become engaged to another man. It's not hard," he said a bit coldly.

"We still need lawyers and a proper court case," I reminded him. "And it's the custody arrangement that will take a while. It's only the custody arrangement that I care about."

"You'll probably just get Edward to be your lawyer," he guessed.

"No, I'm not," I replied a bit curtly. "You're assuming things. Edward is too close to the situation, as you can imagine. Since there's only one law firm in town, I'll probably use one of his firm partners, and you can use the other."

"Oh." He stared at the television screen. "Okay."

"Have you decided on the custody arrangement? I mean, of course I get primary custody of Abby and EJ, but do you want visitation rights? One week every summer? I'm not sure I'm willing to give you much."

"I'm still trying to decide," he answered a little dismissively. "When I'm touring, I'll only be home once a year…"

"Yes," I said, "if you get to tour."

He sighed. "Don't antagonize me."

"I'm not," I defended myself. "Jacob, I'm a _mother._ Can't you see that I toss and turn over these things at night?"

"Well, I'm still thinking about it," he snapped.

"You're in a pissy mood."

"You would be, too, if you had been in a hospital for a few weeks."

I rolled my eyes. "So you're going to Billy's house to stay. What do you want me to take over there?"

"I told you I would pack my things. Charlie can drive me over to the house and I'll just take care of things myself. He's not going to let me near you without being supervised, anyway."

"Okay," I said quietly. "Call me before you come over." Silently, I added, _So I'll have the twins out of the house._

"Have you pawned the rings yet?"

I shook my head. "No, I haven't needed the money."

"How? You don't even work."

"I still get your check," I reminded him, only sounding a tiny bit haughty.

"Oh, right," he snorted. "And you have your rich lawyer friend."

I scowled. "Jacob, contrary to what you might think, I am not a golddigger or a whore. Come on, you know me better than that."

"Have you fucked him yet?"

"Why do you care?"

"We're still technically married, Bella. Sam Uley told me that Edward has been spending the night."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Sam Uley is a creeper who can't mind his own business and I am seriously going to build a wall around my house if he doesn't keep his nose in his own beeswax. And no, Edward and I are not having sex. First, it's wrong, while I'm still married to you. Second, knowing that my marriage has just dissolved is one heck of a mood-killer. Third, do you think I'm really going to take a chance at getting pregnant in the middle of this mess?"

"Chill," he said, raising his arms in defense. "God, Bella, then what do you do with him all night? Play checkers?"

"He helps me with EJ," I replied. "EJ has grown completely dependent on his baba since you and I started to fight…two or three bottles a night…it's hard to survive on a couple of hours of sleep. Edward _actually helps me_ with the children."

"_Baba,_" Jacob snorted. "I can remember when you could curse like a sailor."

"If you're finished making fun of the mother of your children, I'm going to leave."

"Alright. Five days, Bella. That's all you have left to deal with me."

"Not true. We're not divorced yet."

As I drove back to Alice's to pick up the children, I felt a little stunned at his behavior. It was still so hard for me to believe that this was Jacob Black. I could remember when he was literally the perfect husband, the perfect soldier, the perfect American man.

But that man was gone. He had been cut off from his body—like a balloon, the man I fell in love with had just floated away to somewhere else.

And it was amazing how I felt zero emotion for it.

Yes, I still hurt over it, but in the past few weeks since we had made the decision to split, I had numbed myself to just about everything but the bugs—and occasionally Edward. I just ignored the feelings bubbling up inside of me and eventually they were hushed.

I knew that this was wrong, though. I knew that having a numb mommy wasn't fair to the kids and having a numb…whatever I was to him…wasn't fair to Edward. He kept trying to leak passion into this strange, watered-down relationship we had going. And while sometimes I desired that passion, it was usually too much for me to handle.

I was driving down Main Street when the public library caught my eye. I missed my job there a lot. I knew that I was going to have to go back to work. I would need a better job than assistant librarian, though.

But a job wasn't on my mind when I made my way into the shabby building. I knew that Esme was working there today. Yes, she was Edward's mom, but I needed a motherly figure. Esme could offer me advice on how to "woman up" and face my demons.

"Bella!" she said excitedly, coming from around the librarian's desk to give me a very Esme hug.

"Esme," I sighed, already feeling safer in her arms. Her Chanel No. 5 perfume smelled like home. "I need advice."

"You've come to the right place," she smiled at me. "Come have a seat and share a cup of coffee with me."

She poured me a cup from the little coffee pot as I sat in the other librarian's swivel chair. "Esme, I don't know what to do," I admitted. "I can't believe that I'm getting a divorce…I'm hurting inside."

She looked at me sympathetically. "That's only to be expected, dear."

I shook my head. "No…it's not. I know you guys have been speculating about this like it's a political scandal, but I'm…sort of…involved with Edward now."

Her green eyes lit up.

"I love Edward so much," I admitted. "But I can't offer my entire heart to him. And at the same time, I'm still trying to get the pieces of my heart back from Jacob. When Jacob 'died,' I constantly prayed that he would come back…until I grew to love Edward. And then I was thinking about marriage and eternity…and then Jacob came back, and I could only think about Jacob. But then I started to want Edward. And now that I'm separated from Jacob and I have Edward, I don't know what is wrong with me. It's been a hell of a rollercoaster." I nursed the coffee, enjoying the bitter black taste of it on my tongue.

"Sweetheart, you love two men," she said simply. "But there's no way you can give your whole heart to anyone but your children right now."

"But I feel like I'm not giving my whole heart to my kids, either. I'm just exhausted and disappointed with life."

She placed a hand on my knee. "Have you talked to Jasper about this?"

I shook my head. "I don't think I'm depressed…I'm just overwhelmed."

"I see." She sighed. "Bella, love, why did you come to me?"

I gave her a funny look. "Because you always know the solution to the problem," I said, my voice a bit wounded. "You're like my mother. Why? Do you want me to find someone else to talk to?"

"Oh, Bella, of course not! I'm only trying to make a point. You came to me because I'm a problem solver and because you think I know what is best for you, correct?"

"Correct."

"Who in the world do you think is most like me?"

"Edward," I said immediately. "He's like a male version of Esme Cullen."

She smiled proudly—an emotion obviously directed toward her son. "Rely on _him_. He loves you more than life. You need to be taken care of, Bella. You've spent your life taking care of everyone else—Charlie, Jacob, EJ, Abby, Jacob, Billy, Jacob…darling, you need to kick back and let Edward know that you're hurting. I know my son well enough to know that he will embrace this weakened side of you and make you realize that you made the right choice."

"I know I made the right choice," I whispered. "I just don't know how to live through it."

"Edward needs to know this," she said. "Frankly, you need to fall in love with him all over again. But that involves letting go of the past. How are the bruises?"

I winced. "They've faded…"

"That's not what I meant."

I sighed and nodded. "I know. I'm still waiting for them to fade."

"You'll always be hurt over Jacob. He was your first love. I can remember when you two were like peanut butter and jelly…you just naturally went together. But he changed, Bella. You made the correct decision by leaving him to keep the children—and yourself—safe. It's time for you to move on to a new stage in your life. And Edward can help you with that."

"I know you're right," I nodded. "It's hard to accept, though."

She rolled her chair over so she could hug me. "I know, but you're such a strong woman that this is all going to work out to be just fine. And maybe you'll be my daughter-in-law someday."

"That's such a lovely thought," I admitted.

"You're such a lovely girl." She kissed my hair.

"Thank you, Esme. I really love you like you're my mom."

"And you already know you're my daughter. Of course I love you." She squeezed me tighter. "But I do have a question to ask."

Blood automatically rushed to my cheeks. I knew where this was going. I pulled back and stared at her. "I forget that Emmett inherited his straightforwardness from you."

She giggled. "Are you and Edward…?" She raised her eyebrows to communicate the unspoken.

I snorted. "No…we're taking things slowly."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Good. Don't get me wrong; I will never disapprove of anything you two decide to do…frankly, you would make beautiful babies…but I don't think you need a new baby right in the middle of all this."

"I don't," I agreed. "But even if we decided to…re-consummate our relationship...it would be impossible, thanks to EJ." It was remarkably easy to discuss this with Edward's mom.

"Is he still having bottle problems?" she asked me.

I nodded solemnly. "Yeah. He cries for it two or three times a night! Of course his little tummy can't hold the milk…he doesn't actually drink the second and third bottle…he just wants something in his mouth. He wants to be in Mommy or Daddy's arms."

"Is Daddy…Edward?" she asked hopefully.

I nodded. "Edward is Daddy. He can calm EJ just as well as I can."

"Oh my god!" She suddenly jumped up and did a joyful little dance. "I know they've been calling him that, but I didn't know you finally accepted it."

I gave a little laugh. "Edward is the best daddy I'll ever find for them. We have a dysfunctional family, don't we?"

She gave me a warm smile. "Not dysfunctional. Just…untypical."

"But wonderful," I admitted quietly.

"Yes, you are," she praised me, making my heart a little sunnier.

After we finished talking, I actually felt a little better. I knew that she was right. Edward could help me heal, if I let him.

But it wasn't in my nature to just sit back and let myself be taken care of. I had done that enough during my pregnancy—even though my body was fighting to take care of my children. I had to take care of Edward, too. So after I left the library, I went to the diner and ordered Edward's favorite meal—country fried steak, mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese. I also ordered a small salad for myself. Food in hand, I drove to his office.

"Mr. Cullen is in a meeting," Gianna smiled at me, "but he should be finished any minute now. Would you like me to hold his lunch for you?"

"No, thanks," I tried to beam back. "I can wait a few minutes."

True to her word, five minutes later, a few people came walking down the hall. I saw Edward talking to a pretty woman I recognized as Jessica Stanley, his firm partner.

It was amazing how jealous I felt as they talked. Jessica had a flirty little laugh going. I had never dreamed that this would bother me so much in my current numbed-down state of mind.

I knew that somewhere, deep inside of me, I was hopelessly, irrevocably, desperately in love with Edward Cullen. That side of me just had to scratch her way out to the surface.

I could feel her clawing as my feet made me walk down the hallway toward them. His face lit up when he saw me coming. "Excuse me," he said to Jessica so he could turn toward me.

She watched us as I met him with a bit of a possessive kiss. "Mmm, hi," he said when our lips parted. "What have I done to be rewarded?"

"You're just wonderful all-around," I said, holding up the plastic to-go box. "I brought you lunch."

"Thank you, love," he smiled at me. "Bella, you know Jessica Stanley, right?"

"I believe we've met," I replied, holding a hand out to Jessica.

She shook it a bit icily. "Nice to see you again, Bella."

"If you'll excuse us," he said to Jessica, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "I have to duck into my office pretty quickly. Tell the others I'm sorry to miss lunch at the Lodge."

"No problem," Jessica sighed a bit wistfully. But I still could detect the scandal that flickered in her eyes.

I realized what I had just done. My personal life had suddenly become the hot topic of Forks. _Did Bella cheat on Jacob with Edward? Did Jacob really beat her? Did Edward threaten Jacob? Are the children even really Jacob's kids? Did she write Jacob a Dear John letter?_

The whole thing was ridiculous…but the fact of the matter was, I wasn't divorced yet and I had just kissed Edward rather publicly.

_Don't let it bother you, Bella. You deserve to be happy. Give them something to talk about._

That was what the little voice inside of me said, but it was currently being outscreamed by a bigger voice.

_You shouldn't be kissing anyone if you can't even decide on which man you love more._

"Oh, shut up," I sighed under my breath as Edward and I went to his office.

"Are you okay, love?" he asked me as he shut the door.

_Love. _He had just used a pet name for me in front of Jessica. Edward wasn't worried about what people thought.

And then I realized it—Edward was fighting for me. Again. He wanted me to know that he wanted me in every way—he wanted my whole heart.

"I'm alright," I said as I unpacked his food on the office floor. "Come have a picnic with me."

He gave me an amused glance and an adoring smile. "Yes, ma'am. Are the bugs with Alice?"

"Yep." I sliced off a piece of his steak as he sat down next to me and offered the bite to him. "Is it good?"

"It's fantastic," he replied. "You don't know how grateful I am for this."

I waited for him to swallow the bite before I relinquished the plastic fork to him. "You know I love you, right?" I asked him.

He smiled and nodded. "I know. You told me that this morning."

"And you know I'm trying, right?" I pressed, ignoring that last part.

"I know, sweetie," he assured me, his voice very serious. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I knew that it was completely unprofessional to do this in his office, but I needed to take some step away from Jacob and toward Edward. It was vital to this healing process. I gently pushed him in the floor and laid down next to him, kissing him softly.

He wound an arm around my waist, holding me tight as he hesitantly kissed me back. I knew he was probably wondering where this was all coming from, and he was probably thinking about this morning, when I pushed him away.

But this was a small step away from Jacob.

I hesitantly opened my mouth, my tongue snaking out to his lips. He finally loosened up and responded with his own tongue. I was vaguely aware that we were in the floor, making out in his expensively-furnished office, but I couldn't quite bring myself to care. It had been so long since a man had sincerely used his own mouth to love my body. I knew that with every kiss, caress, nip, and even lick, Edward loved me. He worshipped me. There was no doubt about it.

Finally, he was the one to pull away. "Thank you for that," he whispered, kissing my eyelids. "I know what you're doing…you're trying to offer more of yourself to me."

I nodded, my eyes closed as he used his nose to nuzzle my neck.

"You don't have to give me your physical body right now, Bella. I'm not expecting that. I must admit I'm interested in what lies beneath your clothes, but I'm more interested, fascinated, _obsessed with_ what lies beneath your skin right here." He placed a hand over my heart.

I opened my eyes to see him staring at my face intently.

"I'm not trying to offer you my body right now," I clarified for him. "I'm just letting you know that I'm trying to forget him. I'm trying to focus on you."

"I know you are, love," he whispered, kissing my temple. "I have complete confidence in you. But guess what? I'm going to be waiting for you until you tell me to go away. And even then, I'll be waiting."

We finished our lunch together and I left him with a chaste kiss. I ran home and cleaned up before I picked the bugs up.

As Edward promised, we had dinner at his house. Alice, with her boundless energy and enthusiasm for playing with my children, had completely worn the children out, so they fell asleep rather early. Not wanting to go home yet, we put them in Edward's bed—creating a barricade with pillows—and I retired to the living room with Edward.

The silence was comfortable as he joined me on the couch. We ended up laying together, his arms around me, as we flipped through the channels. CNN and Fox News were boring, Edward's favorite show _Criminal Minds _wasn't on, and unfortunately, HBO was devoid of vampires. He was well into triple digits when he finally landed on the classic movies channel.

"_Gone With the Wind_!" I immediately recognized the movie. "Ooh, let's watch."

"Are you sure you want to?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to ignore the hesitance in his voice. "You know I have a thing for Clark Gable."

"I'm trying not to be insanely jealous," he teased me.

"If you'll recall, I like your Southern accent," I teased back.

So Edward held me as we watched the old movie, whispering Rhett's lines in my ear. I fell asleep for the first time without knots in my stomach in a very long time. All it took was for him to whisper:

_"__There's one thing I do know...and that is that I love you, Scarlett. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you."_

* * *

**Nothing like some GWTW loving.**

**I just found out my AP Microeconomics midterm is at the end of this week (thanks, teacher) and the SAT is Saturday so I can't promise there will be updates this week. We'll see. My other story, "Play Dates" will probably be updated just because I have a plethora of chapters for that one. It doesn't take long to edit and post a chapter, as opposed to actually WRITING it.**

_** Leave me a review and let me know what you thought...Bella is extremely hard to write now, for some reason...**_


	3. Dysfunction

**Read this first!**

**A few FAQs from my readers...hopefully this will clear some things up for everyone.**

**1.) In the first chapter, were Edward's flashbacks actually real? Or did he just daydream?  
**_No, they were real. He was remembering the night that "Battle Scars" left off with-when he, Bella, and the bugs went to have dinner with the Cullens._

**2.) Wait, is Bella pregnant?  
**_Not yet. The epilogue of BS was supposed to be set in the future._**  
**

**3.) Will Jacob have a role in this story?  
**_Yes, but it will be much smaller. He'll be pursuing the Army, and I'll include little snippets of his life every now and then. Plus I'm already planning for him to make a short visit to La Push/Forks._

**4.) ****Will there be lemons?  
**_Not in this one. I love to write lemons but since "Battle Scars" was rated T, I'm keeping the sequel rated T. I would hate to lose some of my younger readers who love this story. If you're in the mood for a lemon, I have quite a wide assortment both on my story list and on my favorite stories.  
_

**5.) I think someone copied your story and it made me really mad. I think you should know, Sarah.  
**_Send me the title and author. So far my feathers have not been ruffled over this, but I'm always interest__ed in che__cking the stories out. These so-called "copycats" have had very limited military knowledge, so I think that if they have read __"BS," they only read the first few chapters.__ So far I'm just leaving them be.  
_

**

* * *

Chapter Three: "Dysfunction" Jacob's POV  
**

Six hours.

That was hour long it took to dismantle my life with Bella. 6 hours, or 360 minutes, or 2160 seconds. No matter how you put it, I couldn't believe that it only took that long to completely pack up all traces of me from our house. I could remember when we considered our house to be a love nest, a little piece of paradise where Bella cooked and I was the handyman…

But those days were over now. This small house I had paid for was now cold, empty, and devoid of happiness. She had already removed the pictures of me and boxed them up. I noticed in the kitchen that all my bottles of whiskey were gone.

Emmett had picked me up from the hospital so I could pack up and move out. Bella was nice enough—she already had cardboard boxes and packing materials for me, she helped me pack while I was in my wheelchair, and she was flawlessly polite. However, she hummed or sang nearly constantly. I couldn't tell if she really was happy, or if she was just trying to trick me into believing she was happy.

She fried fish and potatoes for lunch. We sat at the table and ate together, which was awkward. "Where are the children?" I asked, desperate for some conversation and not some more happy (or pseudo-happy) humming. "With Edward again?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, he's in court today, working on some big case. EJ and Abby are with Rosalie. She had morning sickness and didn't feel like going to work."

"I don't know how Emmett does it. Rose is already high-maintenance enough," I commented.

"It's what a man does when he loves the mother of his children," she replied dryly.

I didn't have anything to say after that. Honestly, it pissed me off. How did she expect me to love the kids when she didn't even allow me to see them?

But of course, I knew that was hypocritical on my part. I didn't really want to see them, either. The whole institution of parenthood was overrated.

"I would like a very quick divorce," she remarked, going to the refrigerator for ketchup, just like I knew she would. She even brought me tartar sauce. "Prolonging it only hurts you, me, EJ, Abby…and Edward."

"Can't stand to hurt your precious Edward, can you?" I muttered.

She turned to stare at me. "Jacob, I _love _him. I'm sorry, but it's true. Don't start acting jealous when you were the one who pushed me away. _Literally_."

"I'm not jealous," I spat, only lying a little. "I just…it's hard, you know?"

She sat down and furiously stabbed her fish. "Believe me…I know."

The silence grew thick once again, until she piped up, "Edward said that in the state of Washington, an uncontested divorce usually takes three months. That's pretty fast."

"What does _uncontested _mean?"

She shrugged. "It means we don't have to work out property or custody disputes, I believe. You've already given me most of the property, but we need to figure out what to do with the children."

"Wouldn't this be easier with lawyers present?" I replied.

"Why can't you just tell me you don't want them?" she asked me. "You've made that pretty clear. Put it in words, Jacob."

I sighed. "It's complicated. I grew up in a one-parent household, and I know how much it sucks. I don't want to be a deadbeat dad."

"They won't grow up with a single mom," she reminded me.

I cringed. "Bella, are you planning to marry him the day our divorce is finalized?"

She shook her head. "Of course not! I'm not that tacky. And we're taking it slow. But the sooner this divorce is finalized, the sooner you'll be able to chase your true love: Uncle Sam."

"Interesting way of putting it," I snorted. "Bella, I'm still thinking about it. Can't you give me some time?"

"I want to meet with lawyers this coming week," she told me. "We really need to start laying down the foundation for this divorce."

"Bella, can I ask a question?"

She gave me a weary glance. "Uh…sure."

"Are _you _in a rush to be divorced, or is _Edward_ in a rush for you to be divorced?"

She gave me a glare that made the phrase _if looks could kill_ come to my mind. "Edward has never rushed me into anything."

"Then don't rush me," I mumbled.

I had forgotten how impatient my wife could be.

* * *

That was basically the extent of our conversation that day. By four PM, I was mostly packed up and completely bushed. I was still tired and weak from recovery. Bella was benevolent enough to help me out a lot—plus she let me leave the boxes in the house until I could pick them up—but she wasn't exactly warm.

Well, that was fine. I didn't feel much love for her anyway. Our passionate relationship had been dissolved. What else was there to do but ignore each other until we were legally divorced?

I spent the night with Billy. He was pissed off at me over the whole Bella thing, but at least he understood that Edward Cullen was not on my list of favorite people. My father confided in me that he had never felt comfortable with their relationship, even after I had "died." It felt kind of funny to be sitting there in a wheelchair, talking with my dad like we were in a nursing home or something. But at the same time it felt nice.

"Are you really going to leave me?" Billy asked quietly.

I shrugged. "I can't stay here. I'm going to go crazy."

"You can't run away from your problems, Jake."

"No, but I can run away and find something new. My marriage is over, Dad. I can't get a good job here…I just can't stay here. I think I'm going to run down to Fort Sam Houston. They have a good medical program there that will get me back into shape."

"Texas is so far away," Billy sighed.

"I'll come visit when I'm on leave."

"What about EJ and Abigail?"

I groaned. "I don't know, okay? Everybody is pressuring me to make a decision and I just can't. I have so much on my mind when it comes to those two."

Billy muttered something and turned the television on. Apparently the Mariners were friendlier than I was.

I managed to wheel myself to my old room and shift myself to my bed. I knew I had some big decisions to make. On one hand, I didn't want to be the clichéd father who walked out on his children. But on the other hand, I knew that Edward was going to be their "daddy"…and I didn't want to provide any more dysfunction in the kids' lives. They had already dealt with so much, thanks to me.

I fell asleep and dreamed of Texas.

* * *

_I know, it was short. Edward's POV is next. I promise Bella will stop acting like a bitch to Edward. She just has some things to work out within herself._

_My other WIP "Play Dates" nearly has 200 reviews. Can "Aftershocks" beat it?  
_


	4. Smile

**In case you haven't started reading it, go check out "Dead on My Feet" by Cesca Marie. Just do it. It's amazing and updated much more regularly than this.

* * *

Chapter Four: "Smile" Edward's POV**

I could see that Bella was trying. She cuddled with me more, kissed me more, and even told me she loved me every now and then. But I wanted to see her_ smile_ more. The twins could always make her smile, and sometimes I could draw out a grin. But I knew she was still overwhelmed by the fact that her beloved Jacob had left bruises on her, and that her marriage was over. Maybe the right word for it would be _shock_.

She liked to stop by and see me while I was at work. She was job-hunting every day, and even if she only needed a hug, she would come to take advantage of my always-open arms. I grew to expect her during lunch, and on the few days when she wouldn't come visit, I felt a little empty until I saw her in the afternoon.

So one day when Gianna buzzed me and said, "Mr. Cullen, a _very_ important woman is on line one," I nearly fell out of my chair because I was so eager to grab the phone. I snatched the receiver up. "Hey, beautiful," I greeted my caller.

To my surprise, my mother's familiar laugh echoed in my ear. "_Beautiful,_ son? You haven't sucked up this much since you and Emmett declared Alice's Barbie dolls an 'unprotected village' and scalped them."

I snorted. "Sorry, I thought you were...someone else."

"Bella, I know," she said happily. "That's actually what I called to chat about."

"Interrogate away, Torquemada," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I'm not offering the Spanish Inquisition," Mom replied, sounding a little offended. "I'm offering to give you two a date day."

Well, _that_ caught my attention. "Oh, really? Do you have any ideas?"

"Not for a date, but Edward, she needs you. Let me keep EJ and Abby on Saturday and you two can spend the day focusing on each other. Get out of the house. Go to Seattle or Port Angeles. Spoil her. If she sticks to typical Bella fashion and doesn't want to spend money, take her on a hike or something."

I instantly brightened at the idea. "That sounds wonderful. I'll have to ask her first...but I think she'll be up to it."

"Okay! Just let me know," Mom said, her tone much lighter. "You know I'm starting to look at wedding stuff, right?"

I winced. "She's not even divorced yet. Focus on Alice's wedding. It's a few months away."

"You know me, darling. I like to prepare for the future."  


* * *

I ran the idea by Bella, and to my surprise, she loved it.

"Let's go to Port Angeles," I suggested, not sure I wanted to revisit Seattle with her. The memories of our only Seattle trip were way too fresh for both of us.

She was on the couch next to me, holding a sleeping EJ while I rocked Abby back and forth. We were at my house, because she claimed that the clutter of Jacob's cardboard boxes and piles of junk was annoying her. I knew it was simply hard for her to look at it, though. "No, there  
isn't much to do there."

"We could go shopping," I pointed out. "For clothes or books. Your choice. Or we could actually go see a movie, since theaters don't exist in Forks."

She smiled and shook her head. "No, I hate shopping, I don't have time to read, and I would rather focus on you than a movie."

Her smile made _me _grin like a fool. I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Whatever you say, love. We'll figure something out."

"How do you do that?" she murmured, staring at Abby. My little girl-how _good_ it felt to say that-was sound asleep. It had taken a total of eight minutes, and Bella and I had been talking and watching television, so it wasn't like it had been completely silent for Abby.

I shrugged.

"Here," Bella said, standing up and shifting EJ to the other arm. "I'll go put them in the guest room."

I moved Abby to her arms and watched her as she walked away. She kissed her children's forehead, holding them carefully. She was such a good mother.

I stretched out on the couch and waited for her to return. My mind wandered to my conversation with Mom from earlier. _Take her on a hike or something._ I suddenly remembered a hiking trip with Dad, Emmett, and Jasper. We had stumbled upon a beautiful meadow that was hidden by the forest. I knew that Bella would love it. Plus it was very private, and she could just be herself. She was most relaxed when no one but me was looking. I liked this idea a lot.

When she came back into the living room, she gently pushed me into the couch cushions so she could weasel her way into my side. She rested her head on my chest as I wrapped my arms around her, my hand stroking her back through her soft t-shirt.

"Let's go hiking Saturday," I suggested.

She glanced up at me, an amused expression on her face. "Um, have you seen how clumsy I am?"

"I'll carry you," I offered. "Please? I have an idea, but it's a surprise."

"I hate surprises," she yawned, latching onto me by wrapping an arm around my waist. I smoothed her hair as she closed her eyes.

"But it's a good surprise. Zero money will be spent, I promise."

"You're really serious about hiking?" she murmured.

"I am about _this_ hiking trip," I replied. "It's not even that far of a hike, anyway."

She sighed and opened her beautiful brown eyes to stare at me. "If I say yes, does that mean I get to give you a surprise?"

"Sure," I said immediately. "As long as you don't spend money on me."

She giggled. "Okay, fine. I'll go on the silly hiking trip. But if you have to carry me all the way, don't be mad at me."

"I won't. You only weigh like, five pounds."

She gave me a very unladylike snort. "If only that were true."

"Bella," I rolled my eyes. "You're so gorgeous and perfect. Can't you believe me?"

"You only like me because I have dark features and pale skin like—" She paused to yawn. "Scarlett O'Hara. What was the actress's name?"

"Vivien Leigh. And you are sadly mistaken, love. You're so much more beautiful than her."

"Edward, why am I so tired?"

"You're spreading yourself thin. Come on, let's go to bed."

"Don't move," she disagreed, burying her face in my shirt.

I kissed the crown of her head and laughed. "You may be comfortable, but my feet are hanging off the couch and I'm going to have a crick in my neck."

_And I want a proper goodnight kiss, but I'll keep that little tidbit to myself and see if you volunteer._

I sat up, earning a grunt of disapproval from Bella, and tossed her over my shoulder. She giggled as I carried her to my room. "Edward! Put me down!"

"You said you're awfully tired," I reminded her as I dropped her on my bed.

"You'll be carrying me enough when we go on that godforsaken hike."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll leave you alone to change into your pajamas. Where is your bag?"

She sighed. "I forgot to bring one."

"I'll go get you some pajamas," I offered.

She shook her head. "Nah…do you have a t-shirt I can use?"

"Yep." I tried not to think of Bella only wearing my t-shirt. I knew that it would be a long time before we could be intimate. She just wasn't ready for it yet, and she _was_ still married. I went to my chest of drawers, grabbed the biggest t-shirt I could find, tossed it to her, and then went to my closet to give her privacy. I wore pajama pants and a t-shirt, sort of missing my days of sleeping in my boxers. It's a guy thing.

"You can come out," she called after a few minutes. I emerged to find her laying on top of my covers, my t-shirt safely covering her thighs. It was actually one of Emmett's shirts that had managed to find its way into my bag on a camping trip. Since my brother was bigger than me, it was much more decent on Bella than one of my shirts would have been.

I stepped by the bed and bent to kiss the pad of her right foot, which made her giggle. I was fully convinced that it was the most beautiful sound in the world, so I poked at her ribs as I laid in bed next to her. Very ticklish, my Bella responded with some laughs and a kiss as I wormed my way under the covers.

"How are you feeling?" I asked gently, lacing my fingers with hers and pulling her closer. We laid parallel to each other, on our sides so we could stare into each other's faces.

"It's not as hard as I thought it would be," she admitted. "I just packed Jacob up, but I'm not moping around. I'm just tired since I was doing most of the work."

"Good," I approved. "It's still a bit surreal to me, having you here next to me."

"I'm never planning on leaving," she admitted. "I just…"

"Need time, I know," I filled in for her, moving some of her hair out of her face. "But that's okay, because I'm never planning on leaving, either."

"I love you more," she said softly. "I know I sound like a desperate hag with how much I say that, but it's true."

I dropped a kiss on her nose. "You can say it a lot more often, if you'd like. Or you could just kiss me in front of Jessica Stanley some more. I kind of like that."

She snickered. "I didn't mean to get so possessive…"

"I liked it. Plus it discouraged her. She reminds me of her single status every day."

"I told Jacob I want to start the divorce process this week," she suddenly said, her voice completely serious. "How long should it take?"

"Does he want joint custody or anything?" I replied.

She winced, like she was in real pain. "I don't know," she admitted. "It really makes me wonder what is going on in his head. He told me he wants to work that out with a lawyer."

I sighed. After Jacob had left bruises on Bella, I didn't trust him with the children. Not that he knew how to take care of them, anyway. I didn't want him anywhere close to my precious bugs.

Bella looked genuinely tortured over the whole thing, so I pulled her close, indulging a little by letting my hand brush against her hip. "We're going to do what's best for Abby and EJ," I promised her. "I know I can pull some strings where your attorney is concerned. Honestly, the mother is the preferred parent, so I don't think it will be hard for you to win full custody."

She sighed into my chest and nodded. "I know. I just sort of want _you_ to be the only father my kids know. Is that wrong?"

"That's what I want, too," I confessed. "But from a legal standpoint, DNA usually equals custody rights. And we really have to think about what is best for EJ and Abby in the long run. You know they are going to ask why they don't have light skin like I do, and if you and I have kids," I added in a very gentle tone, "they'll want to know why they are the only ones without bronze hair or green eyes or whatever. They may grow into teenagers and realize that Jacob is a missing piece in their lives. It's a lot to think about, Bella. Sadly, this isn't an issue that can only be solved by a mother's intuition."

"If only the world could be run by mothers," Bella said a bit dreamily. "We wouldn't have war, starvation, or child abuse. Well, let me take that back. If only the world could be run by _good _mothers. Like Esme. I think Esme could be a good dictator for the world…"

I laughed softly and kissed her forehead. "I think you could be a fabulous dictator as well. Don't worry your pretty little head over the custody dispute. I'm pretty positive that the pictures Dad took of your bruises will be enough to earn you full custody. Plus the fact that Jacob has not followed counseling commands from the Army."

She gave me a look of pure shock. "What pictures?"

Whoops, I had forgotten she didn't know about that. I coughed uncomfortably. "That was Dad's idea…don't be mad at me…"

"When did he take the pictures?"

"When you were asleep at Mom and Dad's house," I said quickly. "He does it to all of his domestic violence patients, Bella. Don't feel like your privacy was invaded."

"I don't," she said quickly. "I'm just amazed Carlisle didn't say anything to me. I'm not mad, I swear."

I ran my fingers through her curls. "You're tired, love. Go to sleep."

I reached for the lamp, but she stopped me. "Wait, I have another question."

"Ask away." I continued to stroke her hair, simply luxuriating in the softness and thickness of it all. Bella really was an angel of light and beauty. There was something celestial about her.

"You think we'll have kids one day?" she asked meekly, even though a small smile was on her face.

I pursed my lips. "Um…do you want to?"

She nodded slowly. "Mmm, yeah, I think I do. But when the bugs are older…"

I couldn't stop the smile from taking over my entire calm composure. "A little girl," I whispered in her ear. "With brown curls like you…and Abby's spunk and EJ's love."

Bella's hands travelled to _my_ hair, her fingers combing through and softly rubbing my scalp. "No. A little boy with auburn hair and green eyes. Just like you described earlier. With Abby's love for her daddy, and EJ's love for me. And we could have a white house with blue shutters…and Abby and EJ and our son could be best friends with their cousins. Em and Alice's kids."

I craned my neck so I could kiss her. I had been fighting it ever since she put on the t-shirt, and now that we were discussing children of my own biology (which equaled marriage, in my mind), I could fight no longer.

She kissed me tenderly for a minute or so before she giggled against my lips.

My tongue snaked out as a rebuke before pulling away. "What's so funny?"

"I'm not thinking about Jacob," she mused. "I'm thinking only about…_you_, and our future together. It feels nice."

Yep, the meadow suddenly seemed like a brilliant idea. I needed to let this side of Bella come out more. I needed to make her comfortable with his absence and my presence one again. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too," she confessed before pecking my lips. "I'm really sleepy," she added quietly, completely snuggling into me, her creamy thighs sending a flash of white in the lamplight.

I turned the lamp off and pulled her tight. "Good night, my angel," I murmured.

"Good night, love."

Of course we were interrupted a little while later by a crying EJ. Bella ran to get him before I could react very much. But she brought him into the bedroom with his bottle, too tired to sit in the kitchen or living room with him.

"Is he okay?" I mumbled, watching our little boy as he sucked the rubber nipple like a baby. The only problem was he wasn't a baby. He had left the bottle behind, and it bothered both of us that he had gone back to relying on it. But Bella had been so stressed out that she hadn't weaned him off once again.

"He just needs some comfort," she replied lovingly, kissing EJ's face. "I hope that when Jacob leaves, the bugs' lives will be more stable and they can go back to their normal way of doing things."

"Maybe we need to focus on these two bugs before we start dreaming about another one," I mused as I watched my love comfort him. There was something so beautiful in the way she mothered Abby and EJ.

"I think you're right," she admitted. "I think these middle-of-the-night feedings have to stop, too."

Fatherhood was going to be an interesting ride, that was for sure. And significant-other-hood…or _whatever_ I was for Bella that day.

* * *

_I heart reviews almost as much as I heart Edward._


	5. Fight to the Death

**Chapter Five: "Fight to the Death" Bella's POV**

I was in the bathroom when I heard the thud and then my son crying. I ran to the living room, heart pounding. My sweet EJ was in the floor, wailing.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked him, gathering him into my arms. "What happened?"

He clutched at his head. I moved his little hand and saw a red spot that was already turning into a knot.

"Did you bump your head on the coffee table again?" I cooed as I held him close. "You're okay, sweetie. Mommy is here."

"Boo-boo," he sobbed into my shoulder.

"I know," I sympathized, rubbing his back. "Let Mommy kiss it."

A devout believer in Mommy's healing kisses, he turned his "boo-boo" to my face. I left a soft kiss on the red spot and cradled him to my chest. "You're okay," I soothed him. "Mommy's sweet love is okay."

"Baba," he begged, gripping my shirt like he always did when he was upset.

"That's only for night-night time," I reminded him gently, kissing his face.

"Baba," he said again, his cries growing louder.

"No," I insisted. "Let's go get a cookie. Do you want a cookie?"

"No…"

I chuckled and walked to the kitchen, letting him burrow into my neck. Abby was sitting at the kitchen table like an adult, looking at a picture book. My children were big enough now that they enjoyed climbing on the furniture and they really loved to imitate Mommy and Daddy. Edward liked to read the newspaper at the table, and I wondered if Abby thought the table was for reading as well as food.

"Aren't you such a good girl?" I asked her, kissing her hair.

She looked up at her brother in alarm. "Ee-ay?"

"Do you want to read with Abby?" I asked EJ.

"No!"

I sighed. "Abby Hope? Do you want a cookie?"

"Yes!"

I giggled and pulled out a pack of chocolate chip cookies. I went and sat at the table with EJ in my lap and handed him a cookie.

He looked at it curiously before smiling and taking a bite.

"See? You're fine," I encouraged him. "You're such a big boy. You don't need that nasty old bottle."

"_Mama_," Abby complained, reaching for me.

I pulled her to sit on my other knee and gave her a cookie. Before long, I had two happy bugs munching away. I gently turned EJ's head so I could examine his boo-boo. It was already bruising. My poor baby.

Abby noticed it and leaned over to give her brother a cookie-crumb kiss.

"You're such a good sister," I complimented her, kissing her face. "So sweet."

I heard the front door open, and Edward's familiar footsteps entered the kitchen. He smiled when he saw us there. "Snack time?" he guessed.

I handed him a cookie. "Actually, I'm diffusing a meltdown," I corrected.

"Poor bugs," he murmured before giving Abby a kiss. I warned him to be careful with EJ's noggin, so he kissed our son on the lips.

"Are you ready to go, love?" Edward asked me.

I nodded happily. Today was our hiking date. I had been looking forward to it all week, even if I was nervous about my hiking ability.

"Alright then, let's go!" he said brightly. I had to admire his enthusiasm.

Edward had already bought the bugs a pair of car-seats for his Volvo so we wouldn't have to constantly move them. We buckled the bugs up and started the drive to Esme and Carlisle's house. They had offered to babysit while we hiked.

"Mama," Abby squawked from the backseat.

"Yes, love?"

"Mamaaa, Daddyyy, Ee-ayyy, Abbyyy," she sang in a skewed rhythm.

Edward and I chuckled at her little song. Eventually EJ joined in by adding, "Nanaaa, Doc!"

"I think we have two happy babies," Edward grinned, taking my hand.

_God, I hope so._ "I think you've turned Abby into a singer," I remarked as my phone started to ring. I pulled it out, read the screen, and froze.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"Jacob," I mumbled.

He bit his lip.

I felt the same way. But I had to answer. "Hello?" was my hesitant greeting.

"Hey," my husband replied. "What are you doing today?"

_What?_ "Hiking," I answered. "Why?"

"Can I see the kids today?"

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. "Why?"

"They're mine, too, Bella."

_No, they're not, _I thought selfishly. I knew I couldn't just whisk the kids off to him for the day. I wouldn't allow him to be alone with them. "They're hiking with us," I lied.

"How is that going to work?"

I ignored his perfectly-rational question. "Jacob, why do you suddenly care about them?"

"I just want to see them, Bella," he defended himself. "I still have rights, you know. We're still married."

Edward had stopped in the Cullens' driveway and was staring at me, his eyes hard.

"I know," I stammered. "Jacob, I'm going to be in the woods all day, but even if I wasn't, I can't trust you to be alone with them."

"Why the hell not?"

"Number one, because you're in a wheelchair, and number two, because you got violent with me. I still have the busted cabinets if you need to jog your memory," I said sourly.

"Come on, Bella, I apologized. It was the pills."

"Still, I can't trust you. Look, I know you're their father and you're entitled to see them. But you can't see them without me _and _Edward being there."

Edward suddenly left the car. I watched as he unbuckled the kids out of the car-seats and took them inside.

"Bella, are you crazy?" Jacob asked me.

"No, I'm not! I'm being a rational mother, goddamnit! And I'm protecting myself."

"That's not fair."

"You leaving bruises on me wasn't fair, either."

"Fine," he snapped. "I will see the children soon."

"Good," I said just as ferociously. "You'll see me and my boyfriend there, too. Oh, and Jacob?"

"_What?"_ he grumbled.

"I'm going to fight for them," I warned him. "They're _my_ babies. You've never shown them any love whatsoever. Don't think you're going to pull them away from me."

"Maybe I don't want them after all. Damn, motherhood has made you into a bitch."

"Good! Then leave us alone!"

I heard him slam the phone down.

"Oh, god," I groaned, leaning against the dashboard. My head suddenly hurt like hell.

A few minutes later, Edward returned to the driver's seat and immediately pulled me into his arms. "What's wrong?" he murmured softly.

"He wants to see them," I mumbled. "I think he wants to be a part of their lives…and that scares me…"

"Shh," he gently hushed me. "Bella, we can take it to court. We're going to take care of EJ and Abby."

"I wish I had your confidence," I choked.

"I'm a lawyer, love. I know how to handle such a case…this won't be hard to win, sweetie. Please believe me."

I closed my eyes and pressed my face into his neck as he stroked my hair. This position reminded me of how EJ had hidden in my neck when he bumped his head. I felt so young and helpless, and yet so old and weary at the same time.

"We can go home," he told me. "Or to my house…or we can go into Mom's house. Do you want to lay down?"

I shook my head. "No, I want to hike with you. I just…I'm worried."

"Bella, honey, you're the mommy," he reminded me, kissing my cheek. "That always looks good to a court. Plus he's military and we have proof that he left bruises on you. Easy case. I would love to have one this easy."

"I wish you could be my lawyer," I muttered, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Ethics," he reminded me. "Attorney-client relationship…"

"I know," I sighed. "Come on, let's go. I don't need to think about him anymore."

But I still held on to Edward. Even his woodsy cologne was soothing. After a few minutes, I pulled away and slumped against his arm. He handed me a bottle of water and a few aspirin.

"How did—"

"I know your headache face," he smiled wryly. "Sweetie, are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It's just, they're my babies. I love them more than I love anything else in the world, and I kind of feel like a mama bear when their safety is threatened."

"I heard you tell Jacob that he can't see them without me present?" he asked lightly.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "I know that you won't let him get violent again. Since I've already shown how weak I am…"

"Bella," Edward said, and the firmness in his voice surprised me. "There is nothing about you that is weak. Why can't you see that?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Let's go hike, okay?"

He matched my sigh and bent to give the top of my head a kiss. "I love you, sweetie."

In spite of everything, a small smile lit my face. "I love you, too. I really do."

He wrapped an arm around me and let me rest against him as he drove off the Cullen property. It was actually a gorgeous day, very warm and sunshine-y. It was easier to breathe with Edward's touch and the warmth of the sun on my face.

_Everything is going to be okay. Edward is going to take care of you, Abby, and EJ._ I mentally chanted this over and over.

Finally, Edward pulled to the side of the road and got out. I could see a faint trail in the thick woods. I hoped we would be taking it.

I followed him out of the car. He had a small, lightweight pack on his pack. He watched me with worried eyes, but I managed to smile at him.

"Ready, Scarlett?" he asked me, extending his hand.

"Ready, Rhett," I said, lacing our fingers together. We started down the trail together.

"So how far is this?" I asked him, trying to concentrate on the pleasantness of our hands touching rather than the typical aches of my heart that my stupid husband had reinforced.

"About an hour. If you get tired, we can rest or I can carry you. Your choice."

I snorted. "I used to hike a lot, you know. With Jacob. I've never been particularly skilled at it, though. Don't be surprised if I fall and scrape myself up."

"I brought a first aid kit and a satellite phone just in case we have an emergency."

I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not.

"I also have water and protein bars," he added. "If you feel muscle aches or you just need some refreshment, let me know."

"Is that what is in the backpack?"

"I actually packed us a whole picnic lunch, but if you have a build-up of lactic acid—"

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Shh. Leave the doctoring to your dad," I teased him.

He chuckled. "Sorry. I've listened to my dad explain the process of cramping way too many times. Hiking and camping are Cullen men traditions."

"Did you play a sport in school?" I prodded him. We knew each other perfectly, but I loved to hear about his life before me.

"I played baseball for a couple of years but then I contracted mono and had to miss a season. I was never able to build myself up to the skill I once had. Mono is hell."

"Ah," I replied. "The kissing disease."

"Yeah, but I didn't contract it the fun way, unfortunately," he grinned crookedly. "What about you? Weren't you on the dance team?"

I rolled my eyes and shoved him. "Very funny."

"Hey, just asking," he joked. "You _are_ a…_unique_ dancer."

"I can do the Macarena," I giggled. "That's the extent."

"I bet you could manage to make the Macarena very sexy," he mused. "What about the electric slide?"

"Are you kidding me?" I laughed with a rude snort. "I tried it once at a school dance and fell into the guy in front of me. God, that was embarrassing."

"Why am I not surprised?"

We shared small talk like that on the hike. It wasn't a hard trail, but it was very tiring especially since I had been up with EJ at three AM. We had to stop for breath a couple of times. Edward really had packed a lot of water, and I took advantage of that.

Finally, he glanced down at his GPS. "Ah, we're not far," he observed.

"Where are we going?"

"A little spot Em and I found. It's a surprise, silly woman." He ruffled my hair. "Your cheeks are flushed. Do you need some water?"

"Maybe some sugar and protein when we make it to the elusive spot," I replied, tripping over a tree root. "Agh!"

Edward caught me perfectly before I even had time to drop to the ground. "There's a tree there, you know," he said dryly.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," I muttered, but I was suddenly a little captivated by the way I was being taken care of. Edward hadn't let me fall the whole hike. His strong arms and kind heart were always on the lookout for me.

I needed that.

I pulled him to me and hugged him tightly. "Thank you," I murmured.

"For what, love?"

"For everything," I clarified. "Does that narrow it down?"

He grinned and ducked to kiss my forehead, but I tilted my face up and caught his mouth in a kiss.

"Stealing my kisses, just like Abby," he said, feigning a disapproving tone.

"Where do you think she learned it from?"  
He laughed and put an arm around my shoulders. "Come on, I'm hungry and I'm feeling some of that lactic acid."

"You're such a goober."

"You love me anyway."

"Truly, I do," I admitted.

There was something so _real_ about Edward. It was soothing. He was like a healthy dose of reality and an escape from reality all in one, if that makes any sense. I knew as we walked together that of course I had made the right choice. It wasn't even a question anymore, even if I still had battle scars from my love for Jacob.

Finally, Edward let go of my hand and jogged in front of me, his strong body totally ignoring the pack on his back. I knew that he loved to work out, and I had seen his shirtless body (and his naked body) enough to know that apparently all that exercise had a wonderful effect on his muscles. I liked watching him run and play. He was unbelievably sexy, and honestly, the fact that I found myself turning into a puddle whenever I saw his muscles roll made me feel more normal. Like I was capable of appreciating the little things again. Jacob had completely drained me.

"Where are you going?" I called after him.

"Just making sure we're on the right path! Ooh, we are!"

I managed to sort of skip to him. He suddenly swept me up into his arms, cradling me close as I grumbled, even though I secretly loved it. I stared at his face as he pushed through some trees, and then I noticed that the light was considerably brighter.

We were standing at the edge of a clearing in the woods. It was a little round meadow, and it was gorgeous. The greenest grass I had ever seen let purple, yellow, and pink wildflowers sprout up everywhere. Even the sun was shining in this little piece of heaven.

"Wow," I gasped. "This is beautiful. Is this our destination? Please say yes."

"It is," he grinned. "Isn't it nice? I stumbled upon it one day."

"I love it," I admitted. "Can this be our little place?"

He chuckled. "You haven't even had a chance to enjoy it. Come on, let's eat."

He carried me to the center of the circle and set me on my feet before dropping his backpack and unzipping it. He pulled out an old blue comforter and spread it out on the slightly damp grass. I sat on it and stretched my legs out, grateful for the break.

Edward was pulling out different containers of food. "Sandwiches," he murmured. "Potato chips, pasta salad, and cheesecake. Oh, and lemonade to drink. Is that good?"

"Why are you so damn perfect?" I exclaimed.

He grinned crookedly at me. "Such a hyperbole."

We sat together and ate. It was a warm day—especially in the sunny meadow-and I was able to take off my light windbreaker and shoes. I wiggled my toes in the grass as I ate. I really needed a pedicure, but it felt nice.

When we finished eating, I stretched out on my back and stared at the clouds. Edward joined me and took my hand.

"This is wonderful," I murmured. "I really needed this."

"I think this should be 'our place,'" he mused, echoing my words earlier. "It's lovely and peaceful. No one can bother us here."

"Indeed," I mumbled, thinking of Jacob's phone call from earlier.

Edward turned on his side to face me, propping himself up on his elbow, and brushed some hair from my face gently. I rolled over so we faced each other and took his hand, softly stroking the skin there.

"You know, I fully intend on making you the happiest woman alive," he whispered, bringing my fingers to his lips. "I don't care if it takes two hours or two years or two decades. I'm not going anywhere."

I ran my fingers along his cheekbone. "I'm just a battered woman…bruised, broken, damaged goods. You could do so much better."

He shook his head. "There's no such thing as _better than you_."

"Yes, there is," I insisted. "_You're_ better than me."

"I entirely disagree," he replied, putting an arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

His embrace made me want to melt. I closed my eyes and rested against him. I felt his lips flutter from my hair to my cheek. Finally, I opened my eyes and met his mouth with mine.

We kissed meekly for a few seconds, lips barely touching as he pulled me tighter. But I needed more. I pressed my lips more ferociously to his. We began the beautiful dance that our kissing reminded me of—graceful, intimate, yet pure. Our tongues brushed like feathers as we simply enjoyed each other's presence.

After a few minutes, I was lightheaded, but I rolled over on top of him. His hands went to my hips as we kissed. My own fingers explored his cheeks and neck and ears and hair, even though I had every inch of him memorized. The passion I felt for him had never dissipated. It was always there…

Very gently, he bit my bottom lip, which always drove me crazy. I wanted more, but that little gesture told me that this was enough. I gave him a nibble in return and then leaned my forehead against his, ceasing our kisses.

"I love you," he whispered, breathless.

"I know," I replied, basking in the conviction.

He grinned for a second before his face turned serious again. "And I really mean that I'll wait forever. I just want you to be mine…I want those precious children to be mine…Bella, I'll do whatever it takes. I'm planning on romancing you, making you fall in love with me again. I'm going to fight. You've asked me so many times to fight for you. Here I am. I'm wearing my armor. I just want your heart. Your _whole_ heart."

I hid my face in his fragrant neck, smelling his Edward scent. "I love you," I said simply.

I heard a faint chuckle in his throat. "I know. But really, you should prepare yourself. I'm finally going to fight to the death."

* * *

**_This will probably be the last post for two weeks...I'm going on vacation. Of course I may stay up late one night and decide to write, or write a few chapters in the car...we'll see. Just don't be disappointed if you don't receive any notifications for a while. Same goes for "Play Dates."_**

**_Reviews are better than chocolate chip cookies.  
_**


	6. Tactics

**I'm sorry for not posting. I was on vacation, and had a fabulous time away from my laptop. But EJ and Abby were in my head all week. As a result, I have a really long chapter!**

**Chapter Six: "Tactics" Bella's POV**

I didn't want to subject my children to this. In my mind, it was cruel and unusual. But Edward warned me that I couldn't deny Jacob visitation rights. We hadn't even filed for divorce yet, so I knew he was right. Besides, if I told Jacob he couldn't see his children, that wouldn't look good in court.

After a lot of crying, I knew I couldn't make any more excuses. So on a Saturday, when Jacob called and asked to see them, I immediately told Edward he had to stay to monitor the situation. Edward assured me over and over that it would be okay, but I couldn't shake the feeling that this was going to be a disaster.

Abby and EJ seemed to sense that I was upset. While I changed EJ's diaper and dressed him, he used Emmett's trick of using his fingers to make my lips curve in a smile.

"You're so sweet," I murmured to him, giving him a kiss. "Mommy loves you. You know that, right?"

"I lub oo," he said in return. I squeezed him tight before putting him on the carpet. "Go see Daddy in the living room, sweetie."

I repeated the same process with Abigail, who gave me a clearer "I love you, Mama." She clung to my neck as I walked into the living room. Edward was on the couch, reading a book to EJ and occasionally kissing his face and hair.  
_  
That_ was how a daddy acted. Nothing less.

"Abby, too," my daughter begged quietly. She wanted to be read to like her brother. (She had started this thing where she referred to herself in the third person. It was funny and cute, but I wished I could effectively introduce pronouns.) I sat down beside Edward with Abby in my lap.

"_How do they go? Clop clop_," Edward read. "_What do they do? The bunny hop.._."

I tuned out the repetitive rhymes and rested my head on his shoulder. This was my little family, right here. I didn't want any intruders.

Edward leaned over and gave my forehead a kiss, not missing a beat with his reading. We were going to turn our children into little bookworms. They were always begging to be read to…

Finally, he finished the book and put it away on the bookshelf. The twins climbed down and went to play with some toys in the floor.

"Are you okay?" Edward murmured to me.

I nodded. "Yeah. Just...you know."

"Everything will be okay," he promised, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my temple. "Sweetie, the children belong with you. He knows this and Abby and EJ know this. This won't be hard."

"You're thinking from a legal standpoint," I retorted. "The law is reason free from passion, you know."

He grinned. "Aristotle? I wrote a paper on that statement in law school."

I rolled my eyes, not in the mood. He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I know I'm not helping. But EJ and Abby love you. They don't feel an ounce of love for him."

The doorbell rang then. I glanced out the window and saw Sam Uley's car. Of course Jacob would rely on his buddy to give him a lift.

"I'll answer it," I muttered.

Edward suddenly pressed a kiss to my mouth. "I love you."

"Love you, too," I whispered, stealing another kiss. His touch made me feel so much better. I glanced at my children. They were running toward the door, probably expecting Esme or Rosalie.

I quickly ran after them. "Whoa, guys," I said, pulling them back so I could open the door. "Clear the way." After I moved them out of the wheelchair's path, I opened the door.

Jacob was, indeed, seated in his wheelchair, with Sam Uley standing behind them. Wordlessly, Sam helped Jacob through the doorway and then left. "He's friendly," I scowled, unable to hide the sarcasm.

"Sorry," Jacob shrugged, turning the wheels with his own hands.

I turned around and looked at EJ and Abby. They were standing together at the other side of the room, frozen. Their brown eyes were wide as they stared at Jacob, and they were holding hands. Like they were giving each other strength.

I could see the memories running through their minds. The last days of Jacob living with us involved a lot of yelling and screaming. Even more meaningful was the fact that this man was yelling and screaming at _their mommy_. They hated that.

"Hey, kiddos," Jacob greeted them.

They were silent.

"Say hi," I prodded them, trying to use a singsong voice.

"Hi," they echoed almost silently before looking to me.

Edward stepped next to them and put comforting hands on their heads. They looked up at him like they were saying, _Help, Daddy._

"Come on in," I told Jacob, walking toward the living room. "Do you want something to drink?"

"No, thanks," he said, wheeling himself toward the kids.

Abby grabbed Edward's pants leg. "Come in the living room, my loves," Edward murmured to them.

I went and sat on the couch. EJ and Abby both took that as an opportunity to run and take cover in my lap. They looked as if they were terrified of Jacob. I was so grateful they hadn't seen his violent outburst. They already looked traumatized enough.

"You guys sure are being quiet," I observed, pulling them into my lap. _That's right, Bella. Make Jacob realize that something isn't right whenever he is near._

"I brought you guys some candy," Jacob said. "They can have that, right?"

"What kind?" I asked, trying not to scowl.

"Butterscotch." He pulled out some hard candies.

Edward cleared his throat. "They'll choke on them, but I can crush them into smaller pieces that will melt in their mouths quickly."

"Oh," Jacob said awkwardly as Edward took the bag from him and walked to the kitchen. "Uh…EJ, you sure are getting big."

My son stared at him awkwardly before hiding his face in my chest.

"EJ," I mumbled lifelessly. "Be nice."

"He looks just like me," Jacob added.  
_  
Why are you rubbing this in my face?_ "Yeah," I replied, patting EJ's back before cooing, "Sweet pea, you're in a bad mood today."

"No," Abby defended her brother, burrowing into my chest. "Mama, please..." Using her manners in a moment of despair-how very Edward-ish.

I was a little embarrassed that my children were being so rude, very angry that they had a reason to be so scared of him, and extremely relieved that they weren't warming up to him. The flood of different emotions made my head hurt. I wrapped my arms around my children and tried to remain calm.

"Hey bugs," Edward said cheerfully, entering the living room with a bowl. Inside the bowl, the butterscotch candies were crushed up into tiny pieces. Abby and EJ peered away from me to look at him. "Look what Daddy brought you."

I suddenly realized what Edward was doing. He was _such_ a lawyer, _such_ a problem solver. Of course the bugs would automatically associate the word "Daddy" with him. He was cutting off any bribe Jacob was making.

Of course, Jacob seemed to think that he was the "daddy" Edward was referring to. My boyfriend was brilliant.

Edward sat next to me and pulled a tiny piece of butterscotch out, making it stick to his thumb. He silently fed it to Abby with an adoring smile on her face. When the candy was on her tongue, he retrieved his thumb and did the same to EJ. They seemed to like the candy, especially since they thought it came from Edward.

"So how is the leg healing?" I asked lamely.

Jacob snorted. "Slowly. Can't wait to be out of this thing. I feel like my dad."

"How is Billy?"

"Pissed at me."

I decided to leave it at that. "Is that good candy Daddy bought you?" I asked EJ, kissing his cheek. Edward squeezed my hand appreciatively, letting me know that I was playing this game nicely.

My son simply stared at me in response, his eyes wide, like he was saying, _Please get this man out of my living room._ I kissed him and Abby both a few times. I had learned that more Mommy kisses equaled happier kids.

Edward attempted to make small talk with Jacob, but my estranged husband was only interested in staring at me and the children in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. Luckily, Abby gave me her typical noise for juice, which gave me an excuse to take the bugs to the kitchen. While I made a sippy cup of apple juice, EJ tugged on my pants and stared up at me with tearful eyes. "Baba, Mama?"  
_  
Goddamn that Jacob Black_. "Not right now, sweetie," I told him, picking him up and hugging him tightly. "Later, okay?"

"No," he whispered. "Mama..._please_!"

I kissed his cheek. "Baby, Mama is right here. We can do this. I've got you. I love you, sweetie."

"I lub oo," he responded automatically, even though he still looked depressed. I kissed him again and made him a sippy cup of milk. It was closer to a bottle. If Abby's curious little eyes weren't watching, I would have let him have the bottle just to show Jacob how hard parenting is and how much he _didn't_ want to be a father. EJ often required not only the bottle, but a rocking chair and lullabies. It would have been a perfect example of the strains of parenting, but I didn't want Abby to start the baba thing, too.

We went back to the living room. Abby retreated to Edward's lap, so I took that as a prime opportunity to use the rocking chair and try to comfort my son. We rocked slowly with a blanket, and I sang to him softly. But he didn't want his sippy cup. He fussed a little, quietly asking for a baba. It was like he was scared to make a lot of noise around Jacob.

"EJ, love, no," I said gently. "When Abby takes a nap, we'll do the baba."

"What's the issue?" Jacob asked me.

I rolled my eyes. He had been around long enough to know what this was about. "EJ likes to drink from a bottle. It's a comfort thing, apparently. In my opinion, he's too old for a bottle, so I don't like to give him one. It makes him fussy and defiant when he doesn't get his way."

"Oh," Jacob said dumbly. "That's cool, I guess..."  
_  
That's cool? Is that all you can think of saying_? "No, it's _not_ cool," I said a bit bitterly. "I want my happy son back. You know they were premature, right? Well, they were a little slow in developing. Their teeth came in a little late. You remember how hard it was for them to learn to walk, right? Well...I was so pleased that they've caught up with other children, especially when it comes to giving up baby things like bottles. But then EJ started this crap...it really worries me that he seems to be regressing. It's a sign of stress in a baby's life."

Jacob gave my little rant a blank expression, like he was wondering why I was telling him all of this-which he probably was. I rolled my eyes again and went back to comforting my baby.

"They don't say much," Jacob remarked, and I wondered if he was meaning to torment me.

"Actually," Edward said politely, "their language skills have developed quite nicely. The pediatrician says that they talk more than most kids their age. They have bigger vocabularies than most, too."

"Oh."

Edward suddenly picked Abby up and smelled her diaper, checking to see if she needed to be changed. He threw me an apologetic look, like he was worried about leaving me alone for a minute.

"You can change her in here," I told him. "All the supplies are in the nursery."

He gave me a small smile. He knew what I was doing. I wanted Jacob to see the hard parts: diaper changes, fussiness, the need for comfort. He needed to know that parenting wasn't only about cute babies and mushy moments. Edward took Abby to the nursery, bending down to kiss my forehead. I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my face, despite everything.

This was probably one of the most awkward encounters of my life.

"So, they're developing well?" Jacob asked a bit listlessly, staring at his hands.

"Yes, except for the bottle thing," I explained. "Their teeth are perfect, their language skills are very impressive, and they're at perfect heights and weights. They're a little smaller than most kids their age, but it's nothing bad. And they're able to recognize names of people and objects. They're developing beautifully."

"I see," he replied. "You sure sound proud of them."

"Of course I am," I said in a singsong voice aimed at my baby. "Mommy loves her bugs. Right, EJ?"

My little boy smiled shyly at me even though he was still mad he had to use a sippy cup. I winked at him.

Edward returned with Abby and changed her in the floor. I tried not to smile at the fact that she had made quite a stinky mess. Jacob didn't even bother with hiding his disgust. Abby sat in the floor while Edward went to throw the taped-up diaper in the trash. Jacob watched her in a way that made me nervous.

"Hey, Abby," he said softly, waving at her. "Will you come see me?"

A frown was etched on Abby's face, her brown eyes deeply expressive. She looked...worried.

"Come here," he begged, pulling the bowl of crushed candy into his lap. "Come get some candy from Daddy."

I wanted to grab the very confused Abby, but Edward was at the doorway, shaking his head at me. Damn legal eagle, as Emmett would say. I was already growing tired of these laws and courtroom tactics.

Abby, my bravest child, stood up on her feet, eyes latched on the candy. _Damn it,_ I thought as I watched her nervously. I glanced up at Edward. His eyes were burning, like the scene was causing him actual pain.

Abby bashfully sucked her thumb as she took a few steps toward her biological father. Slowly, she reached her hand into the bowl. Jacob handed her a tiny piece of candy. She popped it into her mouth and immediately fell back on her diapered bottom, watching him in apparent fascination. I winced as I realized that she had let him touch her without complaint. Jacob's candy tactic was successful after all.

But then Jacob reached down and grabbed her, swiftly pulling her into his lap. She started screaming as she tried to wiggle away from him. "No!" she shouted, reaching for me. "Mama!"

I handed a very startled EJ to Edward and grabbed my daughter, greedily hiding her away in my chest. "Shh, baby," I tried to calm her as she cried. "I've got you."

She was too shaken to calm down, though. I took her back into the nursery and swayed back and forth as she cried into my shoulder. "Abby, love," I whispered. "Mommy has you right here..."

"Mama," she choked. "Mama...no...Abby...no...Ee-ay..."

She was so distressed, but it was so sweet that she was worried about her brother as well. "I know, sweetie. I'm going to make sure that you don't have to see him. I'm going to make sure that Edward is your daddy. Daddy is going to take care of us."

I kissed her over and over again as I sang a lullaby. I knew that EJ was crying for his sister in the living room, but I heard Edward comforting him. I had to personally take care of my little girl. She needed her mommy.

Finally, she cried herself to sleep. After I tucked her exhausted little body into her crib, I went back to the living room with arms crossed angrily. To my surprise, Edward was alone, except for EJ, who was in his lap.

"Mama," EJ begged me, reaching for me. I took him and gave him a big hug. He wrapped his arms around my neck. I loved these moments where my babies needed me, but I hated the fact that they had a reason to be so desperate for me.

"Where is Jacob?" I asked Edward.

"He called Sam Uley to pick him up. He didn't have much to say after he scared Abby half to death."

I sighed and sat down next to Edward. EJ snuggled into me. I stroked his head thoughtfully.

"Well, love," I said to the man who was currently wrapping an arm around me. "I guess you know you have to help me with something now."

Edward looked at me quizzically. "Anything. But what are you specifically referring to?"

"Who's the best lawyer at your firm? Excluding you, of course."

His mouth actually twitched in amusement. "Uh...you're not going to like my answer."  


* * *

"Alright, Mrs. Black," Jessica Stanley, attorney at law, said stuffily as she forced a smile at me. "We have a few things to cover."

"Please call me Bella," I requested. "I want to drop my married name as soon as possible."

"Of course," she mumbled. "May I ask a question, Bella?"

I bit my lip. "Sure."

"Why isn't Edward representing you? I mean, pretty much the whole town is already waiting on a wedding."

I snorted rather unkindly. "Er, he mentioned something about a clash in ethics."

"Of course," she rolled her eyes. "Edward is a brilliant lawyer but he does indeed play by the rules. Unless it involves married women, of course."

"Uh, excuse me?"

"I mean, didn't you guys..." She left the sentence hanging with raised eyebrows.

"I was never unfaithful to my husband," I snapped. "I'm the innocent party in this one. Maybe if you believe gossip over your client, then I should either let you go or cut your hourly wages."

_That_ certainly whipped her back into shape. "Please forgive me," she said. "It's just...a hot topic. I swear I will be professional and maintain a proper lawyer-client relationship. I'll also keep our confidentiality intact."

"Good," I said dryly. "That _is_ what you're being paid for, after all. Now, shall we get started?"

"Of course. You're the plaintiff. What are you citing as your reason for divorce? Irreconcilable differences? That's the generic answer."

I sighed. "Jessica, I really need to earn full custody of my children. Edward told me that you're somewhat an advocate for children. Can you help me or not?"

Her eyes lit up and a smile finally graced her face. "Now I understand why Edward was so adamant about this case. Tell me everything, Bella. Why don't you want him to have parental rights?"

I started naming reasons, tapping them off on my fingers. "He did have a violent explosion with me, and I have photographic proof of bruises on my skin and the destruction he caused to our house. He refuses to seek mental help even though he was ordered to counseling by the US Army. He is planning to go to Texas and serve more tours with the Army, and I just  
can't put my infants through all of that moving and house-switching..."

"You have good grounds," she assured me, "as long as we have proof of all this."

After I mentioned my children, Jessica was a lot less frigid. She obviously had a soft spot for kids. We discussed my babies and then moved into words and terms I had either never heard of or never dreamed would ever apply to me: initial petition, service of process, marital settlement agreement.

I actually felt better when I left the office. I peeked into Edward's office down the hall, knowing he didn't have a client.

"Hey," he mumbled, distracted by something on his computer. I envied the keyboard as his long fingers gracefully worked it.

"You don't look happy."

He sighed and tugged at his hair. "It's...a difficult case, that's all. The other side just pulled out a bombshell...well...the biggest bombshell that Forks can offer." He suddenly snorted, totally preoccupied. "Damn it, Jane...I told you not to email him...serves you right, but I need to get paid...why can't people listen to their godforsaken attorneys?"

I giggled. "Obviously you're busy. I'm just swinging in to bring you a home-cooked lunch." He raised his eyebrows at the lunchbox I brought him, apparently much more interested in food than Jane, whoever she was. "A Thermos of warm mushroom ravioli," I grinned at him. "Your mom's recipe. I made them bite-sized for the bugs, but Abby hates mushrooms, apparently...so you get extra."

"I knew you were my favorite person in the world for a reason," he murmured distractedly as he suddenly pounded out some furious words on the computer. "Maybe if I type in all caps she'll get it...nah, doubt it...imbecile who probably couldn't even understand the Full Faith and Credit Clause..."

I snickered quietly. I didn't often see Edward in attorney mode, but when I did, I thought it was unbelievably cute. He looked so focused and studious.

His typing grew harsher as he finished the document. "Finally..._do not_ contact the subject of the restraining order...I just won for you," he emphasized aloud as he composed the message. "I don't care how pressing it is...always contact me...before you contact him...or his lawyers. Thank you, Edward Cullen." He finally clicked something and then stood up, still shaking his head.

He joined me on the leather sofa we so often shared lunch on. I handed him the Thermos, pleased that the raviolis had fit so nicely into it. I didn't feel like eating, so while he used a fork to pick the ravioli out, I gently took his foot, pulled his Italian shoe off, and started to massage the bottom of his foot. "Bad day?" I guessed.

"I just have a client who acts on impulse," he explained. "She doesn't listen to anything I tell her to do. In fact, she does the opposite. But honestly I don't care if I win this one. It's dumb. She's a witch. Anyway, how was Jessica?"

I snorted as my fingers trailed along the dips and curves of his foot. "You were right. She really cares about children. As soon as I mentioned Abby and EJ, she really got into it."

"That's why I suggested her instead of Mike Newton," he explained. "Bella, I know I tell you this every day, but you cook better than my own mother. It's mystifying to me, because I used to think that Esme Cullen was a culinary angel."

"I wish," I replied, pulling on his toes and gently paying attention to each one. He let out a happy sigh. "So, in case you didn't know, Jessica is like, enamored with you."

He winced between bites. "She's after Mike, too...so don't feel bad, love. She's just desperate for a husband because her younger sister Lauren is pregnant and engaged."

I crinkled up my nose. "I don't care if she's flirting with anyone else but you...how many times do I have to tell her you're mine?"

He raised his eyebrows suggestively, a teasing smirk on his face. "Would you rather _show_ her? I'm all for a makeout session in the coffee room."

I chuckled. "I think I'd rather give you a foot massage in the privacy of your office. For professionalism's sake, at least."

He suddenly put his lunch down and bent down to take my face in his hands. "Just a kiss? For the delicious food and the wonderfully relaxing massage?"  
I rolled my eyes in a playful manner and pressed my lips to his. We both smiled as soon as we made contact, and he poked my sides to make me laugh.

"Edward," I giggled as he tickled me before kissing me again.

"What? I like to hear you laugh," he defended himself, nuzzling my nose with his.

"You taste like mushrooms."

"You love mushrooms."

I snorted and went back to his foot-rub. "Regardless...ah, just eat."

He seemed to be totally relaxed by the time the thermos was empty. I kissed his socked foot before gathering his dirty dishes. "Are you up for another sleepover at your house?" I tried to ask him casually.

"Of course," he said happily, standing up to hug me. "Thank you so much for that little treat."

Out of habit, I straightened his tie. "You're very welcome, honey. I wish we could take a _siesta_, but I can wait until you come to _la casa_."

"Ah, well, I'm looking forward to _la casa_," he smiled adorably at me. "_Te amo, muchacha bonita._"

"_Te amo_," I said in response, leaning up for a kiss.

However, Edward's computer beeped, and he tore away from me to check his email. He murmured to himself as he scanned the new message.

"Oh, come on, Jane!" he exclaimed. "Incredible. Calling your lawyer the f-bomb and then insulting his mother is so professional. And that totally motivates him to win your case..."

I laughed at his sarcasm. "Okay, I get it, you're busy and distracted. I have to go pick up the bugs from Alice anyway. 'Bye, sweetie."

"'Bye," he said quickly, throwing me a sad glance. "I'll see you later, sweet girl."

I blew him a kiss and walked out of the office. Though I loved every moment spent with Edward and I found this "Jane" to be extremely humorous, I only had one thing on my mind: my to-do list.

Hire a divorce lawyer, check.

* * *

_Told you it was long. I hope it was worth the wait! By the way, the children's book Edward was reading to the bugs was "Two Cool Cows." That's the biggest piece of fiction in this chapter, because that book is now sadly out of print. I've spent a few years trying to find it since my copy ended up living with my cousins. I really wish I had it back._

_However, I love reviews more._


	7. All He's Worth

**Meh. I don't really know how to speed up this divorce process. I don't really know much about divorce, to be honest, because my parents refuse to get one, no matter how much I beg. I know that this chapter may be boring. If you have any ideas on how I can spice up this story until Bella and Edward start making babies, let me know. *wink***

**

* * *

Chapter Seven: "All He's Worth" Bella's POV  
**

My babies were seventeen months old.

I couldn't really comprehend this until one morning I woke up to find Abby Hope sandwiched between me and Edward. She had a smile on her face as she slept, cuddled into her daddy's chest. He was snuggling her unconsciously, with a grin on his own face.

I was perplexed. I had not been up with her during the night—only with EJ, for a bottle. And I didn't think that Edward had taken her out of her crib…

"Sweetie, wake up," I told Edward, gently jarring him awake.

"Hmm?"

"Did Abby wake you up last night?"

He peered out of one sleepy eye. "Uh…no." He glanced down at the child in his arms. "How did she get in bed with us?"

"She climbed out of her crib," I said in disbelief.

"How in the world…?"

I smoothed her messy hair down, marveling at her cleverness, and noticed that she had cookie crumbs down the front of her pajamas. Someone had been in the kitchen. I propped pillows around her warm little body and dragged Edward out of bed to go to the nursery, where EJ was still asleep. Abby's crib rails were at their normal level, but her blanket was in the floor, along with a couple of toys that were usually in their toy box. Edward surveyed the scene of the crime and snickered. "So what do we do from here?" he asked me.

I winced. "I don't know, to be honest with you. Is this normal at her age?"

He shrugged.

"Come to the kitchen," I said, not wanting to wake EJ. He had been up enough during the night.

Sure enough, there was a box of cookies on the kitchen table. I couldn't blame that one on her—I had accidentally left those out the night before. I saw a crumbled cookie on the floor, like she had stepped on it and freaked out about eating it. Abby hated broken cookies.

Now Edward was chortling. "Bella, love, I think we have a problem."

No joke. After Abby woke up, I tried to gently explain that climbing out of her crib was a "no-no," but the idea only seemed to depress her—if she even understood what I meant at all. Ever since she had been thoroughly terrified by Jacob, my sunny little girl was a rare sight. She preferred to simply sit in mine or Edward's lap and be loved on. EJ was much the same way. Like I had told Jacob before, I wanted my happy babies back.

Abby sat on my hip as I took her into the nursery after EJ had woken up. "Why is your blankey in the floor?" I asked her in my sweet mommy voice.

She stared down at the blanket and gave me a little smile.

"You have to stay in your crib," I told her, putting her in the bed.

She immediately swung her leg up to demonstrate how she did it.

"No," I said. "That's a no-no."

She stared at me, lip quivering, like she expected me to be proud of her new trick.

"Aw, sweetie," I sighed, pulling her out. "You're not in trouble. But you have to stay in your bed!"

"Ee-ay," she requested quietly, resting on my shoulder.

"You can play with your brother," I assured her, kissing her hair. They seemed to take so much comfort in each other.

Still, to be on the safe side, I made Edward figure out how to lower the mattresses of the cribs so it would be harder for our bugs to reach the top. I couldn't even bear to think of my precious little daughter accidentally falling from such a great height. I had heard the principle "if your child climbs out of the crib, she's ready for a toddler bed," but I knew that if Abby got a big-girl bed, then EJ would want one. And with his dependence on the bottle, if he had a big-boy bed, Edward and I would never get any sleep because he would be right out of the bed and into our room, demanding a baba.

"The mattresses are as low as they'll go," he told me as I sat at the table with my children, watching them eat breakfast.

"Good," I said. "It was brilliant of Esme to buy cribs that do that. Edward, let's do something today. I can't stand to watch them mope around the house."

"Do you have any ideas?"

"What if we call Emmett and Rose to come have a picnic on the beach with us?" I suggested. "Emmett can usually cheer them up."

It was a Saturday, so no one had to work. "That's a good idea," he nodded. "Let me call Em."

We ended up in our swimsuits on a blanket on the beach. EJ and Abby had already eaten breakfast, so they were content to let Edward and Emmett take them out to the ocean. They seemed hesitant of playing at first, but of course Emmett could always bring a smile to his bugs' faces. Rosalie and I laid out under the sun, me occasionally sitting up to grin at the way my babies were so fearless when it came to the water.

"How are you four months pregnant and looking like a supermodel?" I complained to Rose, who was slathering sunscreen on her perfect body, bared by her bikini. She probably didn't need it—it was a rare sunny day in Washington, but not _that _sunny—but she was so overprotective of her baby already. She wanted her body to be as healthy as possible.

She grinned. "I throw up all the time. I don't know how my bug is getting any nutrients, because everything I eat comes right back up. Don't be offended if I don't eat the food you brought."

"Trust me, I understand," I said dryly, waving at EJ as he sat on Edward's shoulders in the water. "Are you on pre-natal vitamins?"

"Yeah, they're good. At least my boobs are getting bigger," she shrugged. "Emmett loves it."

"Rosalie, you don't _need_ bigger boobs. Emmett may think you do, but I would kill for your body."

She giggled. "What is up with Abs and EJ today?"

I sighed. "Ever since Jacob visited, Abby has been quiet and withdrawn. EJ is, of course, still stuck on the bottle. It worries me."

"Yeah," she said quietly. "I've noticed. You're going to start going gray if you keep worrying, Bella. And you're so young. Don't do that to yourself."

"You know me," I replied a bit tartly. "I'm a worrier. I can't help it."

"How is the divorce going?"

I groaned and rolled over on my front to watch my babies play. "My lawyer is in love with Edward, and I have a feeling she'll want Jacob as soon as she sees him. We've already outlined everything I'm going to demand in court. We're just waiting for his lawyer to contact us."

"You're going for total custody, right?"

"Of course. He's already traumatized my daughter."

"Use that in court."

"Oh, I am."

"What else are you going for?" she asked me curiously.

"Child support, alimony until I get engaged, the house," I sighed. "I hate relying on him for anything, but I need a place to live and I can't support two children on a librarian's salary." "Jesus, Bella," she snorted. "Alice and I would be milking him for all he's worth. Make him pay for those bruises he left on you."

"I don't want any part of him," I stated. "Not even his money."

"What kind of woman are you?" she teased me.

I chuckled. "I'm about to approach him and tell him that we have to get this divorce moving along. I don't want him to have any rights to EJ and Abby, as selfish as that sounds. His contact with them needs to _end_."

"Mama!" Abby shrieked. I looked over to the water and saw Edward putting her on her feet so she could run to me.

"What is it, beautiful girl?" I asked her, rolling over so she could tackle me. The scratchy sand stuck to her wet body, but it was a wonderful hug and kiss she gave me. "Do you feel better than you did this morning?"

She proudly held out a lavender pebble.

"That's so pretty," I enthused. "Aunt Rosalie, isn't that pretty?"

"It's beautiful," Rose agreed.

Abby walked to her "aunt" and hugged her midsection, resting her head on Rose's tummy.

"Aw, are you loving Aunt Rosalie's baby?" my friend cooed to Abby, smoothing her wet hair.

"Aunt Rose has a baby in her tummy," I tried to explain to Abby. "Are you ready to see your cousin?"

Abby grinned. I had no idea if she understood what she meant, but she liked to be the center of attention. I hoped that a good frolic on the beach was exactly what she needed to go back to her old self. Rosalie used Abby's hand to rub her belly.

"Can you tell Aunt Rosalie what you did this morning?" I cooed to my daughter, hoping to make her chatter in that cute little language my bugs used.

"What did you do, Abby Hope?" Rosalie asked animatedly.

Abby let out a little giggle, which made my heart soar. She was still resting on Rosalie's belly, which my friend loved.

"Can you tell Aunt Rosalie that you climbed out of your crib?" I asked her.

Rosalie gasped in mock-shock. "You climbed out of your crib? Where did you go? Did you try to run away?"

Abby laughed at Rose. The sound was golden.

"What did you eat when you got out of bed?" I prodded Abby. "Can you say _cookies_?"

Rosalie laughed. "You've been around your Uncle Emmett for too long."

I laughed a little myself. I could picture a little bitty Emmett sneaking down to Esme's kitchen. "Edward and I woke up to find that Abby was in our bed. She had eaten some cookies in the kitchen."

Rose apparently thought that was very funny. "You need to tell your mama to feed you more. You just wanted to snuggle with your daddy, didn't you, sweet girl?"

Abby nodded bashfully.

"Do you love your daddy?" Rose asked her.

"I love Daddy," Abby said clearly and confidently.

"See, Bells?" my friend smirked. "You have nothing to worry about. Just milk Jacob Black for all he's worth. And if he doesn't let you, I'll kill him."

I snorted. "I'll remember that."

* * *

Jessica and I finally met Jacob and his divorce lawyer the next week. Jacob was being extremely nice and well-mannered. I was expecting something totally different. His lawyer, Mr. Berty, was just as nice and professional as Edward. I prayed that Jessica would be the same way, but then I realized that Edward would have not recommended her if he didn't have faith in her. So I tried to steady my breathing and put my entire faith into Jessica Stanley.

"Mr. Black has decided to offer the house and Mrs. Black's motorcycle," Mr. Berty said, reading from a sheet of paper. "Along with child support, of course."

That sounded fine; my car was bought in my name so he had no claim to that. "Alright," I said. "But what about alimony and child custody?"

Mr. Berty coughed uncomfortably. "Er, Mr. Black feels that since you are already in a relationship with a man, alimony would be taking advantage of him."

Jessica cut in before I could. "Yes, but Mrs. Black's friend is not financially supporting her or the children in any way. Plus, when Mr. and Mrs. Black decided to formally separate, he told her he would support her with alimony. So are you going back on your word, Mr. Black?"

"I said no such thing," Jacob replied evenly, but I recognized his tone as _arrogant_.

"Did you record the encounter, sign a contract, or have a witness?" Mr. Berty asked me and Jacob.

"No," we both admitted. I added, "I didn't think it was necessary since Jacob tends to be a man of his word."

"Well, since you have no proof, you will have to compromise," Mr. Berty told me, making me sigh.

It was going to be a very long process.

* * *

The night after my meeting with the lawyers, Edward and I decided to take the twins back to the beach for a stroll. I held Edward's hand as we walked, the bugs running in front of us to collect pebbles. I was recounting the entire meeting with Edward.

"Bella, love, calm down," he told me softly.

I was so furious I was shaking. "He _lied_, Edward. He promised me alimony, and now he is saying that he never brought it up."

Edward sighed. "I know, sweetie. That makes me mad, too. But…"

"But, what?"

"I can help support the three of you and you won't need alimony."

I immediately started shaking my head. "No. No, no, no. You're not doing that."

"Bella, I may work in Forks, but I'm still an attorney. I make good money."

I sighed. "You already help me out so much. No, I can't accept that. Maybe if we get married..."

"_If?_" he asked me softly. "I was kinda betting on _when_."

I snorted. "Let me get there, Edward. Don't rush me."

"Just consider letting me support you, okay?" he asked me, suddenly stopping in the sand. "You don't know what an honor that would be for me. And even if you want to move in with me…that would be, well, wonderful."

I rolled my eyes. "Edward, please let me do this my way."  
"I am," he said quickly. "I'm not trying to force anything on you. I just want to make sure you are convinced that you and the twins are my first priority. I love you, Bella. I'm_ in love_ with you. And I want to make sure that I'm the daddy that EJ and Abby love."

"You're their only daddy," I assured him, wrapping my arms around his waist to hug him. "Even if he doesn't pay me alimony and child support, I _will_ make sure I have full custody. Even if I have to commission Rosalie to kill him."

Edward looked confused at that last sentence, but he held me in a close embrace and kissed my hair. I tilted my face up and kissed his mouth softly. I knew that even if we disagreed on a few things, I was always safe right here in his arms. And so were my children.

"Mama!" EJ said excitedly, tugging on the hem of my dress. "Daddy!"

I broke our kiss to look down at our son. He was reaching for me. I picked him up and balanced him on my hip. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"Num-nums," he requested just as Abby ran to reach for her daddy. He placed her on his shoulders.

"Are you guys hungry? I'm sorry," I replied. "Daddy, do you want to go get something to eat?"

"Of course. They managed to stay out of the ocean, so they're clean. Do you want to go into town to eat?"

I didn't really feel like cooking, so that was a great idea. Leave it to Edward to always know when I needed a break.

* * *

_Okay, so I think that Edward's POV will be next. I might skip a month or two and go straight to Bella's court date with the divorce. I'm going to try to write as much as possible today because tomorrow I have to start studying for finals. Any students know how miserable it is._

_Like I said earlier, if you have any ideas-dates for Bella and Edward, fun things to do to cheer up the bugs, etc.-let me know._

_And review!  
_


	8. The Hot Topic in Forks

**Chapter Eight: "The Hot Topic in Forks" Edward's POV**

Bella was a month into her divorce, and it seemed like she was always busy. I had finally convinced her to stop arguing with Jacob and his lawyer and to just take it to a judge. He was being completely irrational. It was time for the law to step in.

Since Bella was with Jessica or in court a few times a week, I often took off from work and would stay home with the bugs. I loved the opportunity to grow even closer to Abby and EJ. We would go to the beach and go to the library for my mom's storybook time. I loved cooking for them, bathing them, taking care of them, and napping with them. Sometimes I took them to my house instead of Bella's so if she did decide to move in with me, they would feel completely comfortable in my home. I was falling into the "daddy" role quite nicely.

One day when I stayed home, I realized that I was completely low on groceries. So I decided to take the bugs to Thriftway and stock up on a few things. I had never taken them shopping before, so I didn't know what to expect.

Of course they were as good as gold. I chose one of those extra-wide buggies with two child seats in the front and buckled them in. They chattered as we perused the aisles, trying to select bug-healthy foods.

"Whole milk, good for calcium," I told the bugs in the dairy aisle, as if they cared. "It gives you strong bones."

"Daddy," Abby rolled her eyes, something she had picked up from both me and Bella.

I snorted. "You already sound like a teenager. You guys like cheese, right?"

We were interrupted by an elderly lady. "Excuse me, young man, can you reach that peach yogurt on the top shelf? I need four cups."

"Of course," I said, grabbing the yogurt cups. "Here you go."

"What adorable children," she gushed, clutching her yogurt.

I beamed. "Thank you so much."

"Whose are they?"

I was a little taken aback by her question. "They're mine," I said slowly, not understanding.

She gave me a puzzled look, and then I realized what the problem was. EJ and Abby had dark skin, dark hair, and dark eyes. They were clearly of Native American heritage. I was around them so much I no longer connected their features to the Quileutes.

"The mother must be dark," she stated.

I shrugged, not wanting to explain the situation.

"Well, they look nothing like you!" she chuckled. "I would be asking for a paternity test…or an IQ test if you think they're yours."

She walked away, leaving me dumbstruck. Okay, so it was pretty obvious that they weren't my biological children, but who would actually say something like that?

"Daddy," EJ said, jarring me out of my shock. He blew me a kiss, a trick he had learned from Bella.

"Thank you, little man," I said quietly as I continued down the aisle. I grabbed some eggs and butter and quickly made it to another aisle, where that woman couldn't look at us and judge us. "Some people are just rude," I muttered to the twins, who nodded seriously with wide eyes. I laughed. They could be such characters sometimes.

We were in the snack aisle a few minutes later. I was looking for Goldfish crackers and little "num-nums" like that for Abs and EJ when a somewhat-familiar girl spotted us.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "Edward Cullen, right?"

I instantly recognized her. Lauren Stanley, Jessica's little sister. The not-so-attractive girl was indecently displaying her pregnant belly with a too-small t-shirt. I had met Lauren a couple of times at the office. She visited Jessica all the time.

"Hi," I said shortly, turning my attention to the selection of Goldfish. I decided to go with the colored ones; they were more fun.

"You're looking great," she said in an obnoxious tone. "Who are these cute little babies?"

"This is EJ and Abby," I replied.

"Are they yours?"

I bit my lip, not sure how to answer that question.

"Oh my god!" she said again. "I know these two! These are Bella Black's kids, right?"

"Yes," I nodded once.

"I saw them at the Lodge once," she continued. "What are you doing with Bella's kids?"

"I'm a family friend," I replied, moving to the Teddy Grahams.

Lauren snapped her gum. "No, wait, I heard about this! Sam Uley was down at the Wolf Pack—you know that cute little bar in La Push? He was talking about Bella. Is it true that Bella cheated on her husband with you?"

I turned and looked Lauren square in the eye. "No, Lauren. Bella never cheated on Jacob."

"But you guys like totally have a thing, right?"

I sighed. "Bella is separated from her husband."

"Well, shouldn't he be taking care of the kids?"

"Look, I really have to run," I said. "Take care, okay?"

That was a common way to say "goodbye, go away" in a small town. I praised myself for handling that situation gracefully and moved to the next aisle, Lauren calling after me, "Ask Jessica for my number!"

_Yeah, that's not happening._

"How about some Cheerios for you guys?" I suggested to the kids, trying not to hit something. So Sam Uley had been running his mouth again. Damn it, I hated that guy. He just kept pissing me off over and over again.

"O's!" EJ said excitedly, clapping his hands. "O's, Abby!"

"O's," Abby agreed, putting a hand over mine. "Daddy, O's?"

"I'm getting you some O's," I promised them, turning to grab the box of cereal. I kissed both of their foreheads as I dropped the package into the buggy. "You know, I was there when you guys first tried Cheerios. It was your first solid food. I bet you don't even remember life before solids, do you?"

Abby grinned at me. EJ looked down into the floor, noticing for the first time that the wheel on our buggy squeaked. He looked utterly fascinated with the turning wheel.

"Whoa, don't fall out," I warned him, putting a protective hand on his shoulder. "That would be a really big boo-boo."

I entered the baby aisle to grab an extra pack of diapers. Bella was running low at her house. But as soon as EJ looked up from the floor and saw the plastic bottles, I knew we were in trouble.

"Baba!" he squealed loudly. "Daddy, baba!"

"No," I replied. "You have some at home."

"Baba!" he insisted, trying to grab the bottles off the shelf.

I took his hands and placed them in his lap. "I said _no_, EJ."

I turned to get a box of wipes, and my son instantly started to cry. I whipped back around and saw him red-faced, tears already flowing. "Baba…please…"

My cheeks flushed red. I had always despised parents who let their kids cry and throw temper tantrums in the store. "EJ, stop it," I said firmly, taking his face in my hands. "I mean it."

He continued to cry, more loudly this time. I noticed people in the aisle staring at us. The elderly woman with the yogurt was glaring at me.

"EJ, you're going to be in trouble," I hissed.

"Baba…_baba_…"

I sighed, totally embarrassed, and pushed the buggy to the back of the store, looking for a restroom. I tried to cover EJ's mouth with my hand, but he slapped my hand away furiously.

"Whoa, that is _not_ acceptable," I told him, pulling Abby out of the buggy. I knew how to handle this. I put Abby on her feet and let her walk around the aisle and examine the boxes of aluminum cans. EJ looked longingly at his sister.

"When you stop crying, Abby can come back," I told him.

He shook his head and continued to cry. I pulled him out and smacked his diaper a few times, which made him scream louder. After I sat him back in the buggy, I left him alone and went to Abby, pretending to be interested in whatever she was looking at. "Abby is such a big girl," I enthused. "We don't want to be with EJ when he is being bad, do we?"

She shook her head and ignored her brother. EJ cried in the buggy, but eventually settled down. Finally, he stopped crying and whimpered, "Abby…"

"Are you finished?" I asked him.

He nodded, sniffling.

I picked Abby up and sat her next to EJ in the buggy. "Don't hit Daddy," I tried to explain to him. I couldn't wait until they were toddlers and we could communicate more effectively. "That is not nice. That is _bad_."

He nodded, telling me he understood.

"We don't throw temper tantrums," I scolded him.

After he was calm, I grabbed a box of Pepsis for myself and put it under the buggy. I turned to see the elderly woman staring at us.

"You really should learn to control your wife's children," she said to me, her eyes disapproving.

I let out a long breath. "I do my best, ma'am," I mumbled before turning to leave.

"I notice you aren't wearing a wedding ring," she told me.

I rolled my eyes and turned around. "No, I'm not."

"Maybe that's your problem," she snapped. "Children with unmarried parental figures are never well-behaved."

I had to bite my tongue and close my eyes before I went ballistic. My patience was already short with these stupid spectators, and Sam Uley, and EJ's temper tantrum. "Actually, these are the most perfect children on earth," I replied in a fierce tone. "They're absolutely perfect the way they are, even if they don't have a perfect family situation. I'm sorry you don't approve of our choices, but it's really none of your business."

Her eyes were wide behind her glasses. "I'm just offering advice, young man."

"And I'm not accepting it," I answered shortly before pushing the buggy away, toward the cash register.

"Just don't have another child before you're married!" she called after me.

I sighed in defeat as I moved all of my items to the conveyor belt in the check-out lane.

"Bad day?" the cashier asked me sympathetically as she began to scan the items.

"It's not a great day, that's for sure," I replied.

She gave me a smile. "Well, at least you have those beautiful children to bring you sunshine."

_Finally, there is some kindness in the world. Or at least in the Thriftway._

"That's true," I admitted. "They are the brightest rays of sunshine in my life." I swiftly kissed EJ to let him know I still loved him after that tantrum. Mom always told me and Bella to love ten times more than we scold.

The cashier nodded. "Yeah, they're gorgeous. I can tell you love them."

"Thank you," I said softly. "It's always nice to hear that."

* * *

That night, Bella and I made dinner together. I was slicing veggies while she fried some fish filets that Charlie had given her.

"So, the judge did absolutely nothing," she said sadly. "As soon as Jacob's lawyer brought up that I've already moved on, he didn't want to push the alimony. Apparently, child support should be enough."

"Alimony isn't necessary, love," I replied gently, reminding her of my offer.

She sighed but chose to ignore me. "Jessica said we need to start focusing on the custody arrangement. I'm going to need those pictures Carlisle took of my bruises."

"I still have them. They're in my safe along with other important papers."

"Thank god we still have them," she breathed. "Edward, what am I going to do if the judge continues to favor him?"

"That won't happen," I promised her. "Courts usually favor mothers in custody arrangements. Plus the photos of the bruises…and I can testify to the fact that Abby especially is terrified of him. Bella, we can bring Jasper in to testify as a professional. Even my dad. We are going to win this."

"I wish you could be my lawyer," she murmured.

I dropped my knife, pulled her away from the stove, and collected her in my arms. "Bella, sweetie, don't worry. EJ and Abby _will _be ours. And if I have to adopt them as my own to keep Jacob out of their lives in the future, I will do it."

A look of shock took over her face. "Are you serious?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I would love for them to be Cullens."

She bit her lip. "You know that adoption is lengthy and hard and expensive, right?"

"I'm a lawyer, you know," I teased her.

She smiled. "You would be willing to make my children your own? Even more than they already are your kids?"

I nodded. "Of course. Don't the names EJ Cullen and Abby Cullen sound so sweet?"

"You've thought about this before," she accused.

I blushed and nodded my head. "Yeah…"

She stood on her tiptoes to kiss me. "I'm not going to ask you to do that now…but if it's necessary…then I would love that. God, I love you, Edward Cullen."

I kissed her lips again. "I love _you_, Isabella Marie. My Scarlett."

She giggled. "My Rhett…my Ashley…my _everything._"

I had forgotten about the fish frying until I suddenly heard the oil boiling over. Bella muttered a curse before running to the stove. Luckily, dinner wasn't ruined. I went back to chopping vegetables to steam, perking my ears up so I could hear what the bugs were up to in the living room. It sounded like they were being entertained by the movie Bella had put in for them.

"So how was your day with the bugs?" Bella asked me.

I bit my lip. "It was…interesting."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. We went to the Thriftway to grocery shop and…apparently, we are the hot topic in Forks."

She gave me a blank look.

"I saw Lauren Stanley," I explained. "She said that Sam Uley has been talking again."

Bella groaned and rolled her eyes. "Oh my god! I am seriously about to march over there and give them a piece of my mind! Damn it, Emily and I used to be such good friends…"

"I know," I said simply. "But you realize that in a community this small, people are going to talk, right?"

"I know," she admitted. "They talked when you and I first got together after I thought Jacob was dead. It's just…irritating."

"But it doesn't matter, in the end."

"I know," she sighed.

"But hey," I said, offering her a zucchini slice. She took it between her teeth to taste. "As long as we have each other—and the bugs—we're fine."

She chewed thoughtfully. When she swallowed, she nodded. "Yeah, I know. And I'll always have you, right?"

"Always and forever, my love."

She stood on her tiptoes to reach me, and my mouth suddenly tasted like zucchini and Bella.

* * *

_I love reviews way more than I love zucchini._


	9. Worth Every Minute

**Chapter Nine: "Worth Every Minute" Bella's POV**

"Okay, okay, Mommy is here," I groaned quietly as I walked into the nursery at two AM. My son was crying, of course, while his sister slept peacefully. These sleepless nights were really beginning to wear on me. Edward offered to get up with him, but I knew he was tired, too.

I plucked EJ out of the crib—it was a little harder now that his mattress was so much lower—and took the crying baby to the kitchen. He rested his head on my shoulder, crying softly, as I prepared a bottle of warm milk. "It's a good thing Mommy loves you so much," I murmured to him, rubbing his back, "because she has court tomorrow. Hush, little boy. You're safe with your mommy."

Finally, the microwave dinged. I didn't need to check the temperature of the milk—this was a nightly routine. I took him to the rocking chair in the living room, grabbed a pillow for my back and a blanket for my baby, and started the process of bottle feeding.

"Mmm-mmm," EJ murmured happily as he drank, his fingers twirling in my hair. He was a completely new baby, as soon as he was held close and fed.

He felt heavier than usual in my arms. One of the funny things about children was that they seemed to be heavier when they were sleepy, even though I knew this was because a sleepy baby usually meant a sleepy parent. But EJ was really growing. I moved the blanket from his body and looked at how his pajamas were growing tight across his body. His little belly hung out of the bottom of his shirt.

He wasn't growing _taller_. He was growing chubbier. All of these bottle feedings were making him into a little butterball.

"This has to stop," I told him, tucking the blanket back around him when he protested.

He simply watched me, wide awake. A little milk escaped his mouth and dribbled down his cheek. I caught the trail with my finger.

"You're one spoiled little boy," I remarked. "You have a mama _and_ a daddy who get up with you whenever you want. You know that as soon as Mommy is divorced, we're throwing the bottles away, right? And you're going back to sleep through the whole night. I don't care if you cry for twenty-four hours straight. You're not far from being two years old. You're too old for a baba."

He clutched it possessively, still drinking.

"Why do you want it so badly?" I asked rhetorically.

As if he were answering, he burrowed down into my chest, closing his eyes. He gripped my hair tightly, but didn't pull it.

"You just want some Mommy time," I guessed. "And some Daddy time. Can't you share with Abby, though?"

However, I knew the answer. My babies were under a lot of stress. EJ needed some kind of comfort to keep up with his crazy life. He felt most protected when he was in his mommy's arms, and this was a way that he could be guaranteed "Mommy time."

"I love you, baby," I whispered to him. "You know you're always going to be safe with me. This baba is meaningless. We can have Mommy-and-EJ time during the day, maybe when Abby takes a nap. It would be a lot easier on Mommy, sweet pea."

He gave me a disapproving grunt, making me snicker.

"Alright, fine," I sighed, stroking his hair as I rocked him. "But only until I'm Bella Swan again. And then you're going to act like a big boy."

To my surprise, the bottle didn't put him to sleep, like it usually did. He dropped the empty bottle in the floor and tried to sit up in my lap to face me. His hands were clapping together, trying to play Patty-Cake.

I rolled my eyes. "Sweetheart, it's time to go night-night."

He kept clapping.

I sighed and sat him up so we could play together. "Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker's man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Roll it up, roll it up...and throw it on EJ!"

He giggled and cheered.

"It's time to go night-night," I reminded him, grabbing a book off the coffee table. "We'll read some Dr. Seuss and then you're going back to bed, whether you're asleep or not."

EJ rubbed his eyes as I read. My voice was very quiet, soothing, and singsong as I tried to lull him back into sleep. But when I finished the book, he fought sleep. He tried to reach for another book.

"No, sir," I told him. "It's bedtime. I'm going to lay you in your crib and you have to be quiet. You can't wake up Abby."

"No, Mama," he begged.

"Yes, EJ," I countered.

"Baba?"

"There is no way your little belly could hold another ounce of milk," I replied, carrying him to the nursery. "You would either have an Uncle Emmett-sized tummy-ache or spontaneous combustion."

He sighed heavily. I could tell he was sleepy; he just didn't want to go to sleep.

"Good night, my handsome boy," I whispered to him, kissing his little lips. "I love you so much."

"I lub oo!" he replied loudly.

"Shh," I reminded him, tucking him into his crib. "I love you, too. Night-night."

I tiptoed out and closed the door. Edward was sprawled out across the bed. _Well, at least I'll have a warm spot._

"Sweetie, scoot over," I murmured as I pushed him to his side. He smiled in his sleep and let me worm into his arms. _Mmm, warm spot indeed._

I woke up two hours later because Edward was rolling out of bed. I missed his arms and warmth immediately. "Where are you going?" I mumbled.

"EJ is up," he replied.

I let out a pathetic whimper as I realized that my son was indeed crying. "Why?"

"Don't know. I've got him. You have court tomorrow. Good night, Bella," he hinted. He had obviously grown tired of arguing with me; he was _commanding_ me.

This time, I didn't fight him. I grabbed Edward's pillow and fell asleep with my nose pressed against his scent. The last conscious thoughts on my mind were worry for my son.

* * *

I sat in court the next day, really sleepy from my night with EJ and really annoyed with Jacob Black. Jessica kept squeezing my hand under the table to make sure I was awake and alert.

"Will Mrs. Black's lawyer please outline Mrs. Black's favored custody arrangement?" Judge Felix asked.

Jessica immediately stood up. "Mrs. Black is requesting full custody of Edward Jacob Black, aged eighteen months, and Abigail Hope Black, aged eighteen months, with no parental rights or claims for Mr. Black. Mrs. Black states domestic violence and fear for her children's safety as her defense for her request."

"Does Mrs. Black have substantial evidence for her allegations of domestic violence?"

"In her case file, there are photos of destruction of property and bruises on Mrs. Black's shoulders, all from Mr. Black in a state of rage three months ago," Jessica explained.

"Objection!" Jacob's lawyer Mr. Berty suddenly exclaimed. "Your honor, medical records prove that Mr. Black was under the influence of a powerful anesthetic and pain medication due to his bone-correction surgery earlier that day. Mrs. Black cannot insinuate that this could happen again."

"Overruled, let her talk," Judge Felix said dryly. "Were the police notified during this episode of alleged domestic violence?"

"No, your honor," Jessica replied respectfully. "Some personal friends of the family were there to diffuse the situation, including Mr. Black's psychiatrist, Dr. Jasper Hale, who took him to Forks General Hospital."

Judge Felix raised an eyebrow at Jessica. "And where are Dr. Hale and these other personal friends?"

"Can we call them to court, your honor?" Jessica asked meekly. "A whole plethora of them have agreed to be witnesses on Mrs. Black's behalf."

This was news to me. When had Jessica talked to the Cullens and Hales?

Felix rolled his eyes. "Of course."

"Objection," Mr. Berty said again. "It is only fair that we hear the names of these so-called witnesses."

"Sustained."

Jessica began reading from a list. "Dr. Jasper Hale, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, Mr. Edward Cullen, Mr. Emmett Cullen, and Mrs. Esme Cullen. Three others, Ms. Rosalie Hale, Ms. Mary Alice Cullen, and Forks Police Chief Charles Swan, were not there to witness the domestic dispute, but they are willing to be character witnesses."

Even my dad? Damn. Jessica was good.

I suddenly heard Jacob's fist connect with the table.

"Order to the court," Felix declared lazily. "So, Police Chief Swan, huh? Wait, you're Charlie's daughter!"

Jessica looked to me. I cleared my throat. "The one and only, your honor," I replied.

"With Charlie and two of Forks' top doctors, I can't believe you didn't use those three sooner."

Jessica remained silent.

Felix rolled his eyes and tapped his gavel. "Court dismissed for a fifteen-minute break."

Jessica immediately started gathering papers together. I noticed Jacob and Mr. Berty were hunched together, whispering quietly.

"When did you talk to the Cullens?" I hissed to her.

"A while ago," she shrugged. "I work with Edward, you know."

I couldn't help but grin. "Jessica, you're a goddess."

"I _know_, but you might want to save your breath for when we win the children."

After fifteen minutes, Judge Felix returned to the bench and slapped his gavel, calling us to order.

"Where are the children staying now?" he asked, turning to Jessica.

I sighed; all of this information was in the file.

"They are constantly with Mrs. Black, your honor," my lawyer replied.

"And why is this?"

Mr. Berty cut in there. "It was a mutual agreement due to the fact that Mr. Black is in a wheelchair and cannot care for an infant, much less _two_ infants. It has nothing to do with his parenting skills or if he is a 'safe' guardian."

"Objection," Jessica shot back. "That question was obviously meant for Mrs. Black's defense."

"Sustained," Judge Felix agreed, and Mr. Berty sat down with a heavy sigh. "But would Mrs. Black say that this current arrangement is because of a certain degree of instability on Mr.  
Black's part?"

"One-hundred percent," Jessica nodded.

Judge Felix sighed and rolled his eyes. That was really beginning to irritate me. "Okay, fine. Our next court date, the aforementioned witnesses will be heard from. Until then, Mrs. Black keeps the kids with a two-hour visitation on Saturdays for Mr. Black."

My heart sank.

"Court dismissed," Felix proclaimed.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

"It's not a loss yet," Jessica reminded me.

I shook my head, eyes closed. "No, but my children will have to go through another visitation. Couldn't you explain the circumstances?"

"We've tried, Bella," she reminded me. "We'll have to wait until character witnesses testify to your parenting, his parenting, and how the twins react to both."

I groaned and started mentally chanting the serenity prayer.

"Hey, Bella," Jacob said as he wheeled past me. "See you Saturday."

"Why are you fighting for them?" I snapped back. "You won't even be here, Jacob! You're leaving with the Army again!"

Jessica put a hand on my arm, holding me back. Jacob snorted and rolled away, shaking his head.

* * *

After court, I went straight home to Edward. The house was strangely quiet, but I heard the TV coming from the living room. I tiptoed in, kicking my heels off at the door, and saw Edward on the couch, flipping through the channels. I went and stood by him, slowly stroking his hair.

He wrapped an arm around my hips-the closest thing he could reach. "You look beautiful today," he said, looking up at me.

I sighed. "I don't feel beautiful. Where are the bugs?"

"They're napping. EJ was exhausted after last night."

"I am, too," I admitted.

He used his strong hands to pull me into his lap by my hips. Sneaking a kiss behind my ear, he murmured, "What happened in court?"

"They're mine for now, but Jacob has visitation rights on Saturdays. I guess you know you're going to be slapped with a subpoena, right?"

He nodded. "I would love to witness for you, but I've already made it clear that I want to be the last priority witness. Just in case Jacob's defense wants to use our relationship against you. Besides, Jasper and my dad are your best bet."

"I know," I mumbled.

"I'll spend the night Friday so I'll be here on Saturday," he told me. "Don't start worrying about this. I have total faith in Jessica and in the testimonies of my family."

I nodded wordlessly and stole a kiss from his lips. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, ducking my head under his chin.

I rubbed his biceps softly. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you so much, Bella."

I breathed in the fragrance of his neck, feeling the scratch of stubble against my face. Obviously it had been a lazy day here with the bugs.

I wanted to be just as relaxed as he was in his jeans, flannel shirt, and bare feet. "I'm going to go take this godforsaken business suit off," I told him. "I'll be right back."

I was already shedding layers as I went to the back of the house. The door to the nursery was closed, but all of a sudden I had an irresistible urge to see my babies. Quiet as a mouse, I  
stepped into the nursery and peered into EJ's crib.

My son was stretched out much like Edward had been the night before, limbs extended and a happy snore coming from his nose. His cheeks were rosy, though, so I pulled his quilt off of him and put it in the corner of the crib.

Abby was just the opposite-curled into a ball. Her eyelids were fluttering with some exciting dream, and her fingers kept twitching. Very gently, I straightened her body out and made sure her positioning was proper. She squeezed my hand as I started to pull away from her, her warm little fingers loving me tightly.

I knew one thing: even if this divorce lasted for years, these precious little children were worth every minute.

* * *

_How was the court scene? I've been really nervous about writing courtroom scenes since I've never been in court, and I even tried to avoid them...but I decided to give it a try. I was surprised to learn that it's really fun to write them. Did I do okay? Was it convincing?_

_Leave me a review and let me know!_

_Oh, and Jacob's POV is probably next. We won't hear from him much, but when we do, listen up!  
_


	10. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

I know, I hate these, too. However, I received a couple of blistering reviews that I, as the author, feel need to be addressed. Frankly, it's midnight, I haven't slept in forty-eight hours, and I am completely partied out, so forgive me if I'm a little grouchy.

**The first review, from an anonymous reviewer:**

_"Dude, you are very mean. I didn't base my story on yours and because you said we who write about the same thing are 'Copycats' I lost alot of my readers. I didn't even know yours existed I made my own up, I know I don't have milatary information because my story is for fun. I hope you're happy with all your reviews, thanks alot bishh.."_

I have not called anyone a "copycat." I simply said in an author's note that preceded one of my chapters that many readers are telling me that they think other authors are copying me. I said that **other people** are calling these authors "copycats." If you don't believe me, here is the note:

_"Send me the title and author. So far my feathers have not been ruffled over this, but I'm always interest__ed in che__cking the stories out. These so-called "copycats" have had very limited military knowledge, so I think that if they have read __"BS," they only read the first few chapters.__ So far I'm just leaving them be."_

See that? _**So-called. **_I have not released any of these story titles or any pen names to anyone. So **no one can dare say that I am the reason you are losing readers. **I simply check out the stories that readers send me, and so far, I have not contacted any of these authors about plagiarism because I don't like to cause conflict (gasp!). So you're barking up the wrong tree. Maybe you should check out your readers and see who is calling you a "copycat."

**The second review, from an anonymous reviewer who I suspect is the same anonymous reviewer since the reviews came within three minutes of each other, but I'm not pointing fingers:**

_"I really hope you're happy. thanks alot bitch!"_

My only response for this is that since I am innocent of this "crime" I have been "accused of" (if you can call a poorly-written review an accusation), **I am very happy with my story and with my number of reviews.** I don't claim to be a great author, and I don't claim to be copied. And if a "bitch" (or a bishh, whatever that is) is a person who is entirely original and doesn't troll on other writers, then I'll wear that badge with pride.

Now, my invitation to these reviewers:

**If you decide to grow a pair and send me a message/leave me a signed review with your complaint, I will be much more cordial and I will explain to you that you are mistaken. And we can iron this out like mature writers.**

Thank you,  
Sarah

(And if any of my regular readers are still reading this note, the next chapter will probably have to wait for a while. I have to return to school and take exams. My apologies if you came to this note and were hoping for a legit chapter. I am truly sorry for letting you down and wasting your time. I love you guys!)


	11. Character Witnesses

**Thanks for all of the support after that Author's Note! I have not heard from the anonymous reviewers, so I'm just pretending like it never happened. Thanks for your sweet encouragement and offers to whack someone. Ha!

* * *

Chapter Ten**: **"Character Witnesses" Bella's POV**

My son giggled as I held him above my body, pretending like he was an airplane. I was laying flat on the living room carpet, making really pathetic noises like an engine. Emmett had taught me this game, and my bugs just loved it.

"Mama!" Abby squealed as she ran and suddenly tackled my stomach. "Daddy's num-nums!"

I carefully put EJ down on the carpet and returned my attention to her. She held up a frosted oatmeal cookie with a little bit of slobber on it.

"Wow," I said. "Daddy gave you that?"

She nodded happily and pressed the cookie to my lips. Even though she had obviously been sucking on it, I took a small bite. Baby slobber never hurt anyone. In fact, I loved it, because slobber usually meant I was getting EJ and Abby kisses.

"Mmm, so good," I said enthusiastically. EJ gasped and ran to the kitchen. "Daddy! EJ, too!"

"Of course you can have another cookie, son," Edward said sweetly.

Edward had been giving cookies and crackers all day. I knew he was trying to stuff the twins full so if Jacob brought snacks, they wouldn't be enticed. It was a silly strategy to me, but  
Edward was suddenly very jealous of Jacob. He didn't want them to even touch him. Meanwhile, I was trying to play with my babies and keep them as happy as possible. Jacob was due to arrive for visitation in thirty minutes.

"If you continue to feed them, you're changing the rather messy diapers," I called to him, throwing Abby up into the air so we could play the airplane game. "Abby-bug! My lovely little lady!"

"Buzzzzz," she murmured, trying to mimic my airplane noises. I joined in, making us sound like a couple of houseflies.

Edward laughed as he returned to the living room. "She's going to puke all over you."

"Ugh, good point," I groaned, gently lowering her to the floor. She ran to EJ and sort of bodyslammed him, knocking him to the ground.

"Abigail!" I said in shock. "No!"

But EJ just laughed and stood up. He suddenly tackled Abby, who seemed to be very entertained with this game. She rolled over and grabbed the soft baby doll Esme had made her before smacking him with it.

EJ thought it was funny, but I ran to them and squatted down between them. "No," I said sternly, taking away the doll. "Be nice. No hitting."

"They're toddlers, love," Edward said from the couch, where he was watching with great amusement. "They're going to start roughhousing. Emmett, Alice, and I did it."

"I don't like it," I replied. "I want them to be as peaceful as possible."

"They have to take their energy out on something," he shrugged. "They'll be tackling you before you know it."

Suddenly, EJ did just that, ramming into my side and knocking me down with surprising force. He laid down on top of me and gave me a wet, cookie-crumb-coated kiss.

"Mmm, thank you," I replied, squeezing him in a hug. "My little linebacker...but you're defenseless against the tickle monster!"

He shrieked and laughed as my fingers skillfully tickled his sides. I gently rolled over so he was on his back and kept tickling him. Finally, I noticed he was trying to catch his breath, so I pulled him up and gave him a kiss. "I love you, baby boy."

"I lub oo," he grinned.

"Mama," Abby sighed, coming to me and tugging on my sleeve. "Abby, too!"

I laughed and leaned over to kiss her. "I love you, Abby-bug."

She gave me a brilliantly white smile. "I love you, too."

I put an arm around her and hugged both of my hugs tight. I didn't want this innocent happiness in them to end. In just a few minutes, their mentally ill sperm donor was going to come shake their world again. I didn't know how to prepare them for this.

Edward noticed the worry on my face and came to wrap his arms around us. He kissed my temple. "Don't worry, love," he whispered.

I simply nodded. EJ and Abby grew bored in our embrace and deftly slid out of our arms. But Edward stayed, his arms physically and emotionally holding me together. I gave him a grateful kiss to the neck.

He made a sexy little purr as my lips traced his sensitive spot under his jaw. Taking that as encouragement, I dropped a few more kisses there. I knew he worried, too. If we weren't careful, we were both going to go prematurely gray…

I didn't want to think about that. I pushed him to the ground, sat on his hard stomach, and claimed his lips with mine. It wasn't a lustful kiss, but it was sweet nonetheless. My lips dotted back down to his neck and I gave a little lick just over the nerve-filled vein there.

He growled softly, and I sat back up to examine his face. He glared at me. "Tease."

I winked at him and ran my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp in the way I knew drove him crazy. As a rebuke, he gave my bottom a little slap. "Oh, Bella...get off of me before I do something dishonorable."

I rolled my eyes and tried to come up with a witty comeback, but I was interrupted by a thud from the nursery, and a sudden cry. We jolted up and ran down the hall.

Abby was lying in the floor, gripping her knee. I wasn't sure what had happened, but judging by the way she was right next to her crib, I guessed she had been trying to climb the bars. My silly girl-trying to get into her own personal prison.

I plucked her up from the ground, but she tearfully shook her head.

"Daddy," she begged.

I handed her off to Edward.

"It's okay, sweetheart," he cooed, holding her close. "Daddy has you."

She was pointing to her knee, which had a bad carpet burn on it. "I'll kiss it better," he promised her before placing a few animated, loud kisses on the little scrape.

Like magic, she turned off the tears and grinned.

"You love your daddy, huh?" I asked her, rubbing her back. "Mommy isn't the only one with magical kisses anymore."

She gave me a bashful grin and rested her head on Edward's shoulder, arms securely wrapped around his neck.

"I love Daddy, too," I smiled at her. "And his kisses."

Edward winked at me and squeezed her in a big hug. "You're all better, Abs?"

"Yes," she said, pulling away to look into his face.

"Do you want to play with EJ?"

"Ee-ay!"

"That's what I thought," he grinned, setting her on her feet. "Go find him...wait, where is EJ?"

I glanced around the nursery. He was gone.

"EJ?" I called, walking down the hall. "EJ?"

I suddenly heard the toilet flush. I ran to the bathroom. My sweet little boy was there, staring into the toilet. When the water came back into the bowl, he flushed it again. He was utterly fascinated.

"Leave the potty alone," I told him, scooping him up and letting him ride on my shoulders. "You and your sister are into everything today!"

"Wa-wa," he pointed at the water.

"I see the water." I walked us into the living room and glanced at the clock. We had fifteen minutes until Jacob was due to arrive.

"Hey, beautiful, don't worry," Edward told me from the floor, where he was currently wrestling with Abby.

"I heard you the first time," I muttered.

He gave me an apologetic glance. I forced a smile and turned my attention back to the clock. I put EJ in my lap and sat on the couch.

"Good luck beating me," Edward told our daughter. "I have muscles of steel-abs, biceps, pectorals, you name it, I've got it."

I snorted, silently agreeing with him. I loved his body and was happy I could finally think about it and not feel bad. Even if I wasn't ready to thoroughly enjoy it yet.

"Mama," EJ said, grabbing the remote control.

"If you can turn on the TV, I'll be extremely impressed," I told him.

Skillfully, he very deliberately hit the power button and the news came on. Edward laughed as EJ gave me a toothy grin that conveyed the words "What now?"

"You are one smart cookie," I told him, kissing his chubby little cheek.

"They're extremely intelligent," Edward agreed. "And they're growing up so fast."

"I know, don't remind me," I practically whimpered.

Abby suddenly took a leap right onto her daddy's stomach, making him let out an "Ow! Whoa, slow down, killer!"

I giggled. "Edward, I thought you had abs of steel?"

"You know I do," he replied, standing up and tossing Abby upside-down over his shoulder. She hung there, laughing loudly.

"I know you do," I agreed wryly before smirking as he flexed. "My sexy man."

I could tell Edward was about to respond, but Abby suddenly smacked him with her doll. "Ow!" he pretended to be hurt. "EJ, give your sweet mama a kiss for me! Abby-bug, you're going down!"

I laughed as he dropped her on the loveseat and attacked her face with kisses. He was right-we didn't have babies anymore. We had _toddlers_. And apparently toddler-wrestling was about to become the sport of choice for our little family.

EJ joined in on the roughhousing. I watched, distracted, until I realized that Jacob was twenty minutes late.

"Should I call him?" I asked Edward, who took a break by villainously dropping the twins in "jail"-a.k.a the playpen.

"Give him a little while," he replied, sitting by me. "Whew, I'm out of breath. They're wearing me out."

I grinned and placed an absentminded kiss on his shoulder. "Thank you for playing with them."

"You know I love to. They're getting more and more fun everyday. Wait until I introduce them to t-ball."

EJ was suddenly by my feet. "Mama!"

"He climbed out of the playpen," I said, a little surprised. I mean, Abby had already climbed out of her crib. Not so shocking, but still awe-worthy.

Edward pointed to Abby, who was demonstrating their skills. She tumbled over the side and ran to her daddy. He smiled and let her sit in his lap. EJ soon joined her. They babbled on as  
Edward cuddled with them and kissed their faces, hands, and hair.

Jacob was soon thirty-five minutes late.

"He's not coming," I predicted. "He doesn't care."

"This is good," Edward said gently. "This won't look good to Judge Felix, since Berty whined so much about getting visitation for Jacob."

I rolled my eyes at my stupid husband. What the hell was he trying to do? Just drag out the divorce process?

After waiting an hour, it became pretty clear that he wasn't coming.

Edward, with his boundless energy, entertained the kids with a blanket fort while I called Jessica.  


* * *

Judge Felix looked utterly bored during court, but Jacob's little mistake seemed to rile him up.

"Will you bring forth proof of visitation?" he asked Jessica.

My lawyer cleared her throat. "Mr. Black did not attend visitation, your honor."

His eyebrows raised. "Why not?"

Mr. Berty immediately stood up. "He was not feeling well, your honor."

"Did you call Mrs. Black?"

"No," Jacob admitted. "I didn't feel it was necessary."

Felix groaned dramatically and put a palm to his forehead. "So you mean I listened to all of your whining, finally granted you visitation, and you didn't even RSVP?"

"No, your honor," Jacob mumbled.

The judge rolled his eyes. "Then how do you expect me to grant you shared custody if one day of an illness kept you from seeing your kids or respecting Mrs. Black?"

"It was one visitation," Jacob started to say, but Mr. Berty cast him a glance that said _shut up._

"And you'll be lucky if you get another one!" Felix boomed.

I tried to fight the smile on my face. Finally, after some fussing at Jacob, Felix decided to get down to the rest of this court date. He had subpoenaed Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme to be witnesses. I was nervous for them, but all three assured me that they were fine with it.

"Will Jasper Hale please report to the witness stand?" Felix asked dryly.

Jasper looked extraordinarily handsome in his suit and tie. I could see Jessica visibly melt at the sight of him. She approached the bench as he settled in.

"Please state your name," she said.

"Dr. Jasper Whitlock Hale, ma'am," he said, the Southern accent thick. At first I thought he was flirting with her, but then I realized that he was just buttering her up.

"And what is your relation to Mr. and Mrs. Black?"

"I've been a personal friend for seven years," he explained, "and I served as their marriage counselor and Mr. Black's psychiatrist for a very short period."

"How many therapy sessions did you have with the Blacks?" she prodded.

"I had one separate marriage session with Mrs. Black, and one with Mr. Black. Mr. Black approached me as a psychiatrist on three separate occasions."

"Did you bill the sessions to his insurance?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She glanced at some papers. "What did you think was the biggest problem in the marriage?"

He pursed his lips in thought. "Mr. Black had some mental issues left over from his service in the US Army in Iraq. They didn't know how to deal with them. It was my personal mission to work them out and let them have a healthy marriage."

"Did you ever make a diagnosis of Mr. Black, Dr. Hale?"

"I had some ideas," he admitted. "I did bring two up with them."

"And they were?"

"Battlemind and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, ma'am."

Jessica looked a little smug. "Did you ever classify him as a danger to Mrs. Black or the children?"

I sighed as I realized what he was about to bring up. I had done a good job of ignoring this night in my memory.

"Not until he attacked my future-brother-in-law on the night of the twins' first birthday," Jasper replied.

"And what happened there?"

Jasper explained the whole affair—how Jacob had disapproved of the way I let the kids play on the beach, how he had overreacted when EJ popped a balloon, and how he had punched Edward in the face.

"Were charges pressed?" Jessica asked him.

"No, ma'am."

"And were you a witness to the domestic dispute that occurred a few months ago?"

"I was the one who calmed Mr. Black down and took him to the emergency room," he explained.

Judge Felix suddenly banged his gavel. "Will the evidence of the alleged dispute be presented, please?"

Jessica had a clicker that turned on a slideshow. I closed my eyes as she flipped through pictures of the damage to my house—broken glass cabinets, holes in the wall—and the bruises on my shoulders.

"Who took these pictures?" Felix asked.

Jessica spoke up. "Dr. Carlisle Cullen, your honor," she explained. "He is here in court today, ready to be questioned."

"Would Dr. Cullen please stand up?"

I peered behind me and saw the handsome blond doctor rise to his feet.

"Thank you," Felix waved him off. "Continue the questioning."

"Dr. Hale," Jessica continued, "do you think that Mr. Black is of a sound mental state and would be able to properly nurture and care for two eighteen-month-olds?"

Jasper paused and looked at Jacob, who was staring frostily. Finally, he said, "No, ma'am. I would not trust him with my own children, if I had any."

"Do you think he would abuse them?"

"He has a short temper, that is for sure, and I have seen him grow violent with Mrs. Black and with the other man he hit. However, my biggest concern is that he doesn't know anything about the children, he has never put forth an effort to show them love, and they are not comfortable with him. He could not properly care or nurture them, to answer your question. He is not a father."

Jessica smiled at him. "No further questioning, your honor."

"Objection!" Mr. Berty shouted. "It's only fair that Mr. Black's defense has a chance to speak with Dr. Hale."

"Sustained," Felix agreed. "You may come forth to question."

Mr. Berty wasted no time in approaching him. "Dr. Hale, is it true that Mrs. Black had a romantic relationship with the man that Mr. Black hit on the twins' first birthday?"

I sighed as Jasper's face fell a fraction.

"That is correct," Jasper said, "but only a year after Mrs. Black was given a legal certificate of death for Mr. Black. When it turned out that Mr. Black was still alive, she ended the relationship with Mr. Cullen."

"But the word around town is that they are back together," Mr. Berty continued.

"I cannot comment on current relationships," Jasper admitted. "I _can_ say that Mrs. Black is primarily focused on her children, and will always be. Besides, even if she is in a romantic relationship right now, she is separated and is not in an active marriage."

"But couldn't Mr. Black be seen as simply protecting his beloved when he hit Mr. Cullen?"

"Absolutely not," Jasper replied. "If you'll recall, _Mr. Cullen_ was protecting _Mrs. Black._"

Mr. Berty sighed. "No further questioning, your honor."

After Mr. Berty returned to his seat, Judge Felix cleared his throat. "So we have one professional opinion stating that custody should remain solely with Mrs. Black. Honestly, I'm not sure what to say, because I was planning on granting joint custody for both Mr. and Mrs. Black. However, Mr. Black's audacity in not even showing up to his visitation is not speaking well for his character and quality as a parent. I am granting another visitation for this Saturday, but if Mr. Black doesn't show up—or doesn't give the court a valid reason for not showing up—there will be serious consequences. Also, Mrs. Black's defense has requested the use of a guardian ad litem."

I threw Jessica a thoroughly confused expression. She hadn't mentioned this to me.

"The court will grant Mrs. Black her guardian ad litem by Saturday. Angela Weber will report the behaviors of the entire family, including the children during visitation. We will also hear from our other character witnesses next week." He smacked his gavel. "Court dismissed."

Everyone stood to leave, but I grabbed Jessica's sleeve. "A guardian ad litem?"

"Ms. Weber will just study the visitation and speak on behalf of the children," she shrugged. "It's not complicated, but it will help us out tremendously."

I smiled at her. "You never cease to amaze me, Jessica."

After court, I met with Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Edward, and the bugs for lunch at the Lodge. I was working on ripping chicken tenders into bite-sized pieces while Jasper explained the questioning to Edward.

"It sounds like you did great, Jazz," my love smiled encouragingly.

EJ started clapping his hands, like he was applauding Jasper. We all laughed.

"I think you're going to get full custody," Esme admitted. "The judge didn't seem to be too happy with Jacob."

"I hope so," I sighed.

Carlisle mentioned something Mr. Berty said, but I was interrupted by my ringing phone. I pulled it out and my heart stopped.

Jacob was calling me.

"What is it, love?" Edward asked me, taking over my job of cutting up the bugs' food.

"He's calling me."

"You need a witness," Edward said immediately.

"I'll go," Esme volunteered. "We can go to the ladies' room."

I answered the phone. "Just a second, Jacob, I'm in a noisy restaurant."

"Okay," he hissed.

Esme and I made it to the bathroom and locked the door. I hit the speakerphone button so we could hear every side. Esme the genius pulled her phone out and turned on the voice recorder.

"Okay, I can talk now," I said.

Jacob wasted no time in starting to talk. "I just want you to know that I'm absolutely disgusted with you," he began. "You don't deserve the children. You don't care for them. You've only used them to get attention as a poor little war widow and then a battered wife."

"Excuse me?" I exclaimed.

"Shut up and let me talk," he interrupted. "You can't even care for them. Abby misbehaves all the time and EJ still acts like a baby. If he can't even sleep at night, he obviously isn't comfortable in your house."

"Jacob," I said firmly. "How does she misbehave? And he does sleep at night—as long as he is in _my_ arms. I think that means that he's comfortable with me."

"You're only focused on Edward," he snarled. "You've only been focused on Edward ever since I was deployed. I wonder how infidelity would look on divorce papers?"

"Jasper just testified—quite correctly at that—that there was no infidelity!" I screeched. "Are you crazy? Are you drunk? Why are you being so ignorant?"

He suddenly hung up. I looked to Esme, the incredulous look on my face telling everything.

"We need to tell them about this," she immediately said. "Jessica Stanley, Judge Felix, everyone."

I moaned and slumped against the wall, sliding down to the bathroom floor. "Esme, what am I supposed to do?"

* * *

_I'm getting really sick of the legal world just because of this story. So I think that the custody dispute will be settled in the next chapter. I want to be able to see Jacob go away...and Edward and Bella get to nest as a little family._

_Jacob's POV is next. If you're bored with this story, bear with me. I'm about to get to the fun part.  
_

_Leave a review, please?  
_


	12. Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places

**I'm really sorry for the delay in posting. It has been an interesting couple of weeks, to say the least. But I'm back, and with a chapter in Jacob's POV!

* * *

Chapter Eleven: "Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places" Jacob's POV**

I can't really give a reason why I wanted to stay in the twins' lives, except that I just felt responsible for them. Maybe it's because I grew up in a one-parent household...I don't know. I just couldn't stand to let Bella be the only caregiver in their lives.

I brought another bag of treats to visitation, but instead of hard candy, it was cookies and a carton of Nesquik. I had always loved the stuff, so I figured the children would, too.  
This time my friend Paul dropped me off at my former house and helped me up the porch. He left as soon as I was up the stairs, though. I raised my hand to ring the doorbell, but the door opened before I had a chance.

"Jacob," Edward Cullen nodded politely, coming behind my wheelchair to help me through the doorjamb. "Bella, EJ, and Abby Hope are all in the living room."

"Thanks," I muttered, not wanting to accept help from him. As soon as we were on a flat, stable surface, I wheeled myself into the living room.

Bella was laying in the floor, holding Abby up above her, and making a lot of happy, silly noises. Abby was giggling, and EJ suddenly tackled Bella's stomach, making my soon-to-be-ex-wife laugh louder.

"You're going to be a linebacker, my love," Bella predicted for him, letting Abby come down and rest on her tummy. But as usual, as soon as they looked up and saw me, my children froze.

"Oh, hi, Jacob," Bella said nervously, rolling over so she could sit up and hold the children close. "You're looking better."

"Getting stronger every day," I nodded. "Hey, EJ, Abby, I got you guys some cookies."

They continued to stare in that eerie way of theirs, their expressions unreadable.

"Go get some cookies," Bella said quietly, not really urging the children at all.

"I have Nesquik, too," I said. "Can they have that?"

Bella sighed. "It's awfully sugary...Edward, love, can you get them half a sippy cup each?"

"Sure," he replied, taking the Nesquik to the kitchen. Abby tried to follow him, but Bella held her back.

"Stay here, Abby, love," she whispered.

"Mama," the little girl sighed, moving behind her mother.

"Be social," Bella barely encouraged her.

"Mama, baba?" EJ mumbled.

"He brought you a treat," she promised him. "You don't need a baba."

This was just like last time. For some reason, it really hurt that these babies weren't affectionate with me. I had seen them kiss and love all over Bella-and Edward-but they had never  
been outright physical with me. I watched her as she kissed them both, and I realized that I didn't have anyone in my life to do that for me. Bella could get all of the love she wanted from Abby and EJ and Edward. I had nothing. No one.

"Look what Daddy brought you," Edward said as he brought in two sippy cups, half-filled with the Nesquik. Abby took refuge in his lap as he sat next to Bella in the floor. I watched eagerly as the twins tried the Nesquik.

They _loved_ it. EJ made a "Mmmm!" noise before knocking the sippy cup back like a seasoned drinker. Ha, so he was my son after all.

Bella snorted. "Slow down, sweetie."

"Those half-cups aren't going to last long," I remarked as they drank.

"Well, Nesquik is full of sugar," Bella explained. "It will rot their teeth and make them hyper. I can't deal with hyper children today. I barely got any sleep last night because EJ was up."

"I offered to stay up with him," Edward reminded her softly.

They had obviously grown once again comfortable with each other, because Bella put a hand to his cheek. "Sweetheart, you already do so much," she said sweetly. "The least I can do is give you a night off."

They were downright sickening. I couldn't believe that she had moved on so quickly and was already having sleepovers with him. I pulled my eyes from them and saw EJ as he finished the Nesquik.

"Was that good?" Bella asked him, rubbing his chubby belly. "You look like a little Native American Buddha, son."

"Is he overweight?" I asked, partly because I was curious and partly because I wanted to piss her off. Call me immature, but what could she do? Sue me with her pretty little lawyer?

"No," she rolled her eyes, bending down to kiss EJ's belly. "He's just a big boy. A future football player, like Uncle Emmett."

"Baseball players are better," Edward disagreed as Bella tickled the little boy.

She crinkled up her nose. "I'm so sick of the Mariners after spending eighteen years in Charlie's house."

I decided to pipe up then. "Plus all baseball players do is stand in the field and scratch their—"

"Jacob," Bella interrupted, sounding a little disgusted. "We have kids in the room. Please don't teach them how to say that word."

I rolled my eyes. I thought it was a funny joke, especially since Bella had let it slip once that Edward played baseball in high school. Apparently Bella had lost her sense of humor as well as her husband.

"Jeez, I'm sorry," I muttered. "And they're not little parrots yet."

"They're getting there," she replied, looking a little star-struck as she stared at Abby, sitting in Edward's lap. "They have a large vocabulary for their ages."

Abby, however, ignored her and wrapped her arms around Edward's neck. "Please," she whispered, though I wasn't sure what she was begging for.

"See?" Bella said proudly. "Already using their manners. And watch this." She tickled EJ's cheeks and said, "I love you, little man."

"I lub oo," he replied.

"Isn't that cool?" she squealed.

"Very cool," I said dully. "But how do you know if he means it? He could just be copying."

She let out a long breath and an eye-roll. "Oh, Jacob, for crying out loud. He does mean it."

Of course I knew that he meant it. He obviously adored her. But it kind of made me sick that she had his love and I didn't.

"More num-nums," EJ requested, showing his empty sippy cup to Bella.

"You can have milk or juice," she replied. "Milk or ju-ju?"

EJ looked to Edward. "Num-nums?"

"Come to the kitchen with me," he suggested, standing up and leading the twins away. "We'll find a healthier alternative."

Bella smiled at them as they walked to the kitchen. There was an almost dreamy look on her face.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked her point-blank.

The smile disappeared. "Uh...I don't know..."

I stared at her for a little while. "Or maybe you're not happy..."

"No, I'm very happy," she replied. "Life is finally falling back into place."

"What do you mean by that?"

She sighed. "Well…Edward and I are finally doing very well, and that just brightens my whole perspective."

"You know we're still married, right?" I asked her.

She bit her lip and looked down at her lap. "Jacob…only legally. You and I don't have anything more than legalities. Don't you dare start that crap."

"What do you mean you're _finally _doing well?"

"Things were a little awkward at first," she admitted quietly, standing up and picking up toys. She didn't want to be forced to look at me. "But every little thing becomes even smaller when you realize that love is what really matters. And that truth just sort of melted away the little things that were nagging at us. What people thought about our relationship, or my regrets over a failed marriage…"

"You regret the fact that we're not together?" I prodded.

She turned and stared at me. "I regret the fact that we couldn't end things nicely. I regret the fact that I gave you any leverage as a parent, because I want them to be _mine_."

We were interrupted by the twins as they came back to the living room with what looked like apple juice in their sippy cups. Edward took Bella's hand and pulled her to the couch so they could sit together.

"Ju-ju, Mama," EJ said happily, blowing a raspberry on her knee that was bared by the rip in her jeans. I used to _love_ it when she wore those jeans. They hugged her ass fantastically.

"I see that, baby boy," she replied. "You love your ju-ju, huh?"

"Can they not say _juice_?" I asked.

"They have problems with the _s_ sound sometimes," Edward explained. "Most of their more prominent words—_Mama, Nana, baba, love you_—don't have the _s_ sound, so they're still getting used to it."

"I see," I said.

"E-ay!" Abby squealed, pulling some sort of electronic toy out.

EJ walked away from his mother, right in front of me, to go to Abby. I decided to be brave, and I reached down and grabbed him.

"Holy shit, Jacob!" Bella shouted as he started to cry. The loud noise jarred me, and I dropped him.

Fortunately, he didn't hit the metal footrests on the wheelchair. He landed on the carpet, right on his little bottom.

Bella snatched him up and carried him to the back of the house. "For Christ's sake!" she exclaimed, looking back at me.

Abby the sympathy crier started making a lot of noise of her own and ran to Edward. He scooped her up and held her tight.

"It's okay, my love," he murmured to her. "EJ isn't hurt. You can go see EJ and help Mommy make him feel better."

"No!" she shouted.

I pulled out my phone and called Paul. I could barely hear him over the wailing, but he told me he was on his way.

"I think it's time for me to leave," I muttered.

Edward stared at me. "I think you're right."

He wasn't being rude, but his voice rang with authority and finality. He saw this house as being his. He was the head of this family.

* * *

After I was driven home, I decided to just bite the bullet and call Jasper. I knew that he did not like me anymore, but I really needed some advice and I didn't have anyone else to go to. I could have called Berty, but this was more than just law. This involved stuff that only a psychiatrist could work through.

"Hello?" he answered his cell phone.

"Hey, it's Jake," I said slowly. "I know we're not the best of friends anymore but—"

"Jacob, I'm here for you whenever you need me," the doctor assured me. "What's going on?"

"I just need someone to talk to," I admitted. "I need advice. Are you busy?"

"I have a date with a pretty lady tonight but I'm free until then. Do you want to come to my apartment or meet me at the office?"

"Your apartment," I said immediately. I didn't want to make this seem clinical.

"Do you need a ride?"

I sighed. "Uh…yeah." Goddamnit, I _hated_ being crippled.

"No problem, man," he said cheerily. "I'm on my way."

He showed up at my house in record time. Billy made a face when he saw "one of those Cullens" but didn't say a word. I managed to roll myself out to the truck. Jasper immediately helped me in and tossed the wheelchair into his backseat.

"When are you going to be out of that godforsaken thing?" he asked me as he hopped into the driver's seat.

"A couple of weeks. I have to be put on crutches, though. But at least I'll be able to drive…sort of."

"How was visitation?" Man, I had forgotten that Jasper didn't beat around the bush. He just cut right to the shit.

I sighed and leaned my head against the headrest. This truck was way nicer than that piece of crap Charlie had given Bella in high school. She had gotten rid of it while I was in Iraq, for some little Toyota she could haul the kids in. I don't know why I randomly had that memory, but it made me sigh again. "Um, not so good. The kids won't have anything to do with me."

"Do you expect otherwise?" he replied, driving slowly. He obviously knew this made me more comfortable than sitting on a couch, in his office _or_ his apartment.

"Well, I mean, I thought kids loved unconditionally. And I brought them cookies and shit."

"Kids do love unconditionally, but only to people who have put an extra effort to be a part of their lives," he explained. "Or at least who play with them and show interest in their lives."

"I _am_ interested," I said through gritted teeth.

"Are you?"

"Of course I am. I brought them some goddamn Nesquik."

"You can't just buy kids," Jasper sighed. "Jacob, admit it. You don't know the first thing about being a father. You never put forth an effort in their lives. I never saw you give a bottle or change a diaper or sing a lullaby."

"Hey, I changed diapers and fed them," I defended myself.

"But you weren't hands-on like Bella," he challenged me. "Or Edward."

That felt like a kick to the balls. I let out a long breath. "I'm not having my damn parenting skills evaluated, Jasper. I just need some advice."

"Ask, and you shall be given," he murmured.

"I'm alone," I mumbled. "I don't have anybody."

He gave me a funny look as he drove down the highway. "Is that why you want EJ and Abby so bad?"

My silence told him everything.

He bit his lip as he considered this. "It's a cliché, but you're looking for love in all the wrong places. It would not benefit EJ and Abby to split custody with their father simply because he needs some affection. That would be expecting way too much out of those little children. And what would happen when they messed up or disappointed you? Like what if one of them took your wallet and flushed all of your money down the toilet? It happens, Jacob. I did it to my dad. I don't think you're prepared to deal with that."

"I would still love them."

"But the thing is, you never loved them until you needed them. Is that real love?"

I glared at him. "Are you suggesting that I don't even love my children?"

He stared at me in the eye. "Are you suggesting that you could magically turn into a good parent overnight?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Jacob, how much do Abby and EJ eat in one day?" he suddenly asked me, like I was in high school and taking a verbal test in the Quileute language. _Am I expected to answer back in Mommy language?_

"I don't see what that has to do with anything," I shot back.

"Time's up," he said rather rudely. "Bella gives them a large breakfast, a sippy cup of milk and a snack at ten AM, a smaller lunch, another snack at three PM, and dinner at six PM. And EJ has a bottle every night."

"How do you know that?" I asked him, a bit bewildered.

"I hang out with Bella and Edward. How much sleep do EJ and Abby get in one day?"

"What the hell—"

"Time's up," he said again. "They wake up at eight, take a nap after their ten AM snack, take another nap in the evening, and go to bed at seven thirty."

_Jesus Christ. How much sleep do they need? _I did not say this. I just glared at him. "Jasper, you're being a jackass."

"No, I'm making a point," he replied. "You don't know these things, Jacob. Did you know that EJ was on a feeding tube for a few days after he was born? Did you know that he had really awful bouts of colic?"

"No, but—"

"But you need to know," he interrupted me. "Jacob, you're not ready to be a father. You weren't there through the pregnancy. You didn't bond with Bella as she physically, mentally, and emotionally tied herself to these children. You didn't bond with the babies when they were born. And you can't bond with them now. They're terrified of you, from what I've heard in court."

I sighed and stared out the window.

"Find your love in someone else," he said, more gently this time. "Go to Fort Sam Houston to heal. Meet a cute little medic or a pretty civilian girl. Hell, date one of your superiors like in _Top Gun._ It's time to move on from Bella. And it's time to move on from the twins."

"You don't think I should be a part of their lives," I stated.

"You're right," he agreed softly. "The kids feel one emotion when they see you: fear. They've heard you yell at their mama, and I know you've yelled at them, too. They're not used to that. Have you noticed that Bella uses very soft tones around them?"

"Well, they're certainly loud enough—"

"They're _kids,_ Jake. They're supposed to be loud."

"They're really scared of me?" I asked him.

He sighed. "Jacob, how did they act around you today?"

"They just stood there and stayed quiet. I tried to pick EJ up, and he started screaming. They retreated to Bella and…Edward." I spat that last name out, practically tasting the bitterness in my mouth.

"And what does that tell you?"

I bit my lip for a little while. "They're scared of me."

"You don't love them," the doctor murmured. "You just want something to love _you_. A dog would be more appropriate than a child, Jacob."

"Fucking hell," I muttered, knowing he was right. At least a dog could be taught to go crap out in the yard.

* * *

The next day, I met Berty. He was explaining some custody strategy when I interrupted him.

"I don't want custody."

He stared at me. "What?"

"You heard me."

He took his glasses off. "Jacob, I've been breaking my back trying to get you custody, and you're just going to throw it all away?"

"I don't care," I replied. "I can't take care of them, and I'm going to be overseas, anyway. I don't want any parental rights. They're not mine, anyway."

"They most definitely are yours!"

"Biologically, but not in their hearts," I muttered. "I'm not Daddy, and I never will be. I don't want them."

He cursed under his breath and nodded. "Okay, then. You're still paying me for every single hour I worked on the custody arrangement."

"Okay."

I was a little upset that I couldn't fulfill my responsibility as a father, but at least I wouldn't have anything to tie me down to the states. I could go on as many tours as I wanted to.

Maybe until someone killed me, anyway.

* * *

_I have started a new work-in-progress, called "Portraits," a post-Breaking Dawn fluff piece about Nessie. I have no clue when I'll be able to update it, though. If you're interested, go check it out, but don't count on updates as frequent as these._

_Next is a fun chapter, with some Edward and Bella lovin'. And yes...I still love reviews. Let me know what's on your mind.  
_


	13. Irrevocable Love

**VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE: Jacob will indeed have his point of view in this story, but it will be very infrequent and will mostly be information about his new life without Bella. Yes, he will briefly return to Forks for something, and yes, I will write about that. He's not going to be ignored, but he won't have the spotlight nearly as much as Edward and Bella, either.**

**It amazes me how Jacob can stir up a crowd. Some of you hated him in the last chapter. Some of you hated Bella and Edward. At least Abby and EJ are still well-liked.**

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* * *

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**Chapter Twelve: "Irrevocable Love" Bella's POV  
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"Bella…"

I rolled over to escape the slightly-annoying singsong voice that was invading my happy little cloud of sleep.

"Bella, love…time to wake up…"

What was Edward jabbering about now? The alarm clock hadn't even gone off. Some little voice deep inside of me told me that something could be wrong with one of the kids, but honestly, I was in diva mode, not Mommy mode. And Edward would be freaking out, not lounging lazily across my body…I hid my head under my pillow.

I heard him laugh. "Sweetie, there two hours until court. You have to get up."

Well, _that _caught my attention. I had overslept. I jumped up, the room spinning around me as half of me still remained in my sleep cloud.

"Whoa," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. "I have to get a shower…can you wake up the kids?"

"They're already up and playing in the living room," he said, pushing me back down on the bed. "You're going to get a headache if you don't try to wake up slowly. You slept for twelve hours."

My eyes widened. "_Twelve?_" That never happened. Never. Surely I had been up with EJ sometime during the night…

Wait, no. Edward had let me go to sleep after dinner. I had been exhausted…

Realizing that my very handsome roommate had bathed my kids, put them to bed, and then stayed up with EJ, I grabbed his t-shirt and pulled him down on top of me. He had _definitely_ earned a few kisses.

"I might need that shirt," he teased me between kisses.

"I like you better without it," I confessed, taking over his lips again.

We kissed in bed for a few minutes, until he decided he needed oxygen. He pulled away from me and rested his face in the crook of my neck. "Mmm, good morning, darling," he murmured. I could feel his smile against my skin.

"Good morning, handsome," I replied, letting my fingers travel throughout his thick hair. "Thank you for letting me sleep."

He pressed a kiss into my neck. "It was my pleasure. You deserve a quiet night in bed. However, the twins are being much too quiet. That usually means they're doing something they shouldn't…"

"You know them so well," I agreed. "Let me take a really quick shower and then I'll feed them breakfast, okay?"

"I've already laid out some bacon to thaw. You just concentrate on your case."

I regretfully pushed him off of me and rolled out of bed. I was pulling clean underwear out of the chest of drawers when I saw Edward shrug his t-shirt off.

Wow…he looked good.

I didn't realize I was staring, openmouthed, until he smirked at me. "I didn't think you were being serious when you said you preferred me half-naked," he teased.

"Maybe not _half_-naked," I confessed, blood rising to my cheeks. "Er, it's nice to know that you still do push-ups in the office."

An expression crossed his face—one that I had not seen in a very long time. "Don't you think it's fair that your shirt comes off, too?" he asked me, a playful crooked smile on his face.

_Oh, why not? You're practically divorced._

I knew Edward was not expecting me to agree, but just to shock him (and tease him) I took my t-shirt off and threw it at him. His mouth fell open as his eyes landed on my black bra.

I let him stare at me for a few seconds before I turned to the bathroom. "Go check on the babies, please."

"Tease!" he called after me.

I giggled and shut the door.

I knew I wasn't exactly being nice. We hadn't had sex since the fateful trip to Seattle that changed everything. I just wasn't ready for it yet. Sex with Jacob after Iraq (when it actually happened) felt meaningless. If there was some meaning to it, it was usually just for his comfort after a nightmare or just a way for me to apologize for disappointing him again. Of course it was unsatisfying for me, and it left me with bad memories. Not that I was opposed to sex. I just wasn't ready.

Edward was very respectful about it all, sleeping in pajamas and t-shirts, and keeping his hands to himself. He assured me that while he desired me constantly, he wasn't ready for sex until I was. I loved him all the more just for that little statement.

Still, I missed the teasing physical part of our relationship. There was nothing wrong with a little light teasing.

I didn't need a long, hot shower to transition me into the land of the awake. After twelve hours of wonderful, uninterrupted sleep, I felt totally refreshed and energized. I was ready for anything that the world (or Jacob Black) could fling at me.

I entered the kitchen in a dress, heels, and makeup. EJ immediately greeted me with, "Hi, Mama!"

"Hi, sweetheart," I replied, kissing his hair. "How mean were you to Daddy last night?"

"We were up twice," Edward replied, and I noticed he was wearing a button-down shirt. Somehow, it wasn't as dashing as his t-shirt. "Thank God for coffee."

"Mama," Abby said, garnering my attention. I walked to her high chair, where she was eating dry Cheerios to hold her over as Edward fried bacon and eggs.

"Hi, Abby-bug," I greeted her, kissing her cheek. "How are you this morning?"

She pointed to her nose.

I cringed. She was positively _dripping _with a runny nose. I grabbed a dish towel and carefully wiped her face. "Do you have a cold, Abby? Do you feel bad?"

Edward turned to watch us. "Does she have a fever?"

"No," I said, relieved. "But this yucky snot is not a nice color. Abby, blow." I held the towel up to her nose.

"No, Mama!"

I hated the word _no_. It seemed to be a child's favorite word. "Honey, I know you don't like it, but you need to do this for Mommy." I exhaled sharply through my nose to show her how to do it.

"No…"

Meanwhile, her nose was still pouring with mucus. I wiped it off. "Edward, can you bring me the saline nose spray? It's in the medicine cabinet."

I plucked Abby out of the high chair and held her tight so she couldn't wiggle away. I very gently rinsed her tiny nostrils out with a few drops of the spray. She automatically started blowing it out, but nothing solid came out of her nose. Just more snot.

I _hated_ dirty noses. I could handle messy diapers and the occasional vomit, but I hated to see my beautiful children with dirty faces. It just grossed me out.

I put Abby on my hip and went to the refrigerator to grab myself a cup of yogurt. She coughed in my lap as I ate. Finally, she tried to sneeze good and hard—right into my yogurt.

I didn't think she would start to cry, though.

"Shh, sweetie, it's okay," I said tenderly, letting her rest her head on my shoulder. "You just have some sneezes. There's no need to cry, my love. Mommy has you right here in her arms."

She cried as I rubbed her back, sneezing a few more times. They weren't complete sneezes, though. It was like she was just trying to sneeze.

"Maybe I should stay home with them," Edward mused, looking at our little girl with sympathy in his eyes. "Or take her to the doctor."

"No fever, no foul," I replied. "I can't afford a doctor's visit just for a few sneezes."

"That's true," he agreed. "But that is some pretty nasty mucus…she might feel better if one of us were here."

Edward had planned to go to court with me, just for the moral support. I bit my lip as I considered the options.

"Do what you think you need to do," I sighed. "Abby and EJ always come first."

I managed to calm Abby down with some kisses and a sippy cup of the Nesquik Jacob had left the twins. I had to be fair to EJ, so I gave him the Nesquik, too. Edward made them plates with little bites of bacon and eggs as I thought about him staying home. Charlie was supposed to keep them…but Abby probably would appreciate her daddy more…

"Maybe you should stay home," I agreed. "Charlie probably wouldn't enjoy rinsing her nose out throughout the day."

"Okay, I will," he decided. "You know, you're usually a lot more nervous about court."

I shrugged, a little bewildered myself about my good mood. "I don't know. I just have a good feeling about today. I'm not sure why." Shrugging again, I picked up my yogurt cup.

Edward laughed. "Well, that's good…but Bella, I don't really have a good feeling about you eating that yogurt."

I snorted as I remembered that it had been assaulted by Abby's nose. "I think you're probably right."

* * *

I suppose it wasn't a good strategy to stare at Jacob as court was called into session. But he was so _different._ Usually he sat ramrod straight, in perfect military posture, with a scowl on his face. Today he was slouching in his chair, a stupid smirk painting his face.

I had no idea how in the world I had ever fallen in love with that smirk.

Judge Felix brought us to order. "I realize that the guardian ad litem has bronchitis and wasn't able to make it to this week's visitation," he said, that bored look on his face. "Of course we weren't able to find another one in Forks who could make it on time. Have the custody requests changed since visitation?"

He was clearly looking at my side of the courtroom. Jessica stood up. "Mrs. Black is still seeking full custody and parental rights of both children, your honor."

"Of course," Felix replied dryly. "And Mr. Black?"

Mr. Berty stood up and cleared his throat. "Mr. Black has decided to terminate all rights to the children."

_What?_

I could hear an audible gasp from Esme, Carlisle, and Jasper, who sat behind me. But that was _all _I was aware of. The room literally started spinning around me. Suddenly I felt weak.

Jessica's eyes were wide as she stared at me.

And then it hit me…like a sack of bricks.

_Jacob didn't want them._

"What brought this on?" Felix asked. I peered behind me and saw that Esme's mouth was open, but she was bouncing up and down in her seat.

Jacob coughed nervously. "I'll be overseas, your honor…and I'm not ready to be a father, especially a single father. I have no connection to them."

"You do realize that you are their biological father, right?" Felix demanded.

"Yes, your honor, but it stops there. I'm nothing to them."

Felix suddenly started chortling. "It definitely does _not _stop there! Mrs. Black may be granted full custody, but you will pay child support until the children turn eighteen. Do you realize this?"

"Yes, your honor," Jacob replied. "And alimony until she is engaged to be married."

I didn't understand where all of this…_grace_ was coming from. William Jacob Black—my stupid, stubborn, ridiculous estranged husband—was giving up and giving in. It was so uncharacteristic that I immediately grew suspicious.

However, that suspicion was overshadowed by the joy that was bubbling out of me.

"I would like to sign away any parental rights," Jacob continued. "I don't want to have a say in the twins' lives, except for the money I will send every month. Let Bella raise them. We'll all be happier that way."

Felix studied his visage carefully. "Are you sure about this?"

"I've thought long and hard about it, your honor. I simply could not care for them, especially if I'm overseas."

Felix cleared his throat before tapping the gavel. "Fine, I'm not going to make this any more complicated than what it should be. Custody of Edward Jacob Black and Abigail Hope Black rests entirely on Isabella Swan Black. Mr. Black, you must draw up an official statement relinquishing all rights to your children. I trust that your attorney will help you with that?"

"Yes, your honor," Berty nodded.

For the first time, Felix actually smiled. "It's decided, then. Custody granted to Isabella Swan Black."

I had never heard more beautiful words.

Of course, after court was let out, I was nearly smothered in love from Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper. But I only needed to see the three most important people in my life.

"Edward!" I shouted as I ran into our house. "_Edward Anthony Cullen!_"

"Shh!" I heard him hiss as he came into the living room, both bugs in his arms. They were rubbing their eyes, obviously sleepy. "It's nap time!"

"They're ours!" I practically screamed.

He stared at me for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Jacob gave up," I said, jumping up and down. "They're ours! He's terminating parental rights!"

"Oh my god!" he squealed like a little girl.

I tackled him so he was sitting on the couch and sat next to him, pulling Abby into my lap. Edward wrapped his arms around us as EJ came to sit with me.

"They're ours," he said slowly as I gave my children about a billion kisses.

"They are our children," I confirmed, moving my mouth to his face.

He suddenly laughed as I peppered kisses along his face, and then he was kissing the bugs. "Oh my god…"

"I know," I said.

His lips found mine, and we kissed passionately for just a few seconds. I had everything I needed right here—my precious children, and my Edward.

I suddenly felt like a complete woman. It was the feeling I had been longing after for months.

Our happy moment was interrupted by a sneeze from Abby, and she started to cry.

_That _brought us back down to earth. I wiped the little spritz off my face, handed EJ to Edward, and took her to the nursery. A few baby wipes cleaned us up, and some tickles to the belly made her tears dry up.

"Abby, this is a weird little cold you have," I mused. "You shouldn't cry after you sneeze…unless it hurts your ears. Uh oh…"

_Please don't have an ear infection. Please don't have an ear infection._

I took her to the bathroom and very carefully put a Q-tip just inside her ear. It came out clean. I laid her head against my arm, and supported her as I turned her ear to the light.

"No earwax," I observed. "Are you just being a silly girl? Do you just want some attention paid to your sneezes?"

She yawned, eyelids growing very heavy. It was past her usual morning naptime. I cradled her—not so easy, she was growing so big—and carried her to the rocking chair in the nursery. Of course Edward was already there, tending to EJ.

I could tell my little girl didn't feel well. She kept rubbing at her nose. I found one of her old burping cloths and used it to wipe her nose as it continued to drip. Finally, I took her to the kitchen and forced a dose of Children's Benadryl into her mouth with a medicine dropper. She didn't like it, but she took it like a big girl. Abby was everything EJ wasn't—independent, durable, and quite mature for her age.

EJ was already down for a nap when we settled down again for a good rocking chair session. Edward let me have a few precious moments with my baby girl. EJ took up so much of my energy and attention with his bottle issues that I was terrified of somehow ignoring Abby. I sang to her and let her play with my hair as the Benadryl finally kicked in and made her drowsy. She fell asleep with a content smile on her face, already feeling better from the medicine.

After I laid her in her crib, I went to the living room to join Edward. He gave me a dazzlingly brilliant smile as I sat in his lap, facing him.

"So I'm the only daddy," he murmured, his voice absolutely gloating.

"You are indeed," I said happily, rubbing his shoulders. "Are you ready for it?"

He rolled his eyes. "I've been ready for it since you were put on bed-rest, you know."

"I know," I admitted. "You're glad to be a daddy even if we have a sick kid?"

He pulled me close, letting me rest my head on his shoulder. "As my mother says, children have the sweetest germs."

I laughed and pulled away to kiss him. "I love you, Edward Anthony Cullen."

"And I love you, Isabella Marie Swan."

I liked that he was ignoring my current last name. Well, at least that wouldn't be my name for long. The divorce still had a few fine points to work out—child support payments, alimony payments, and the like. But the most important part of it was over.

EJ and Abby were going to be little Cullens. Even if Edward didn't adopt them as his own, they were _ours_.

Finally, they could have a stable family and a stable life. I wouldn't have to worry about them having a toxic father. Edward was the best father on earth for my little ones. And finally, no one could get in the way of that.

* * *

Edward and I were on cloud nine for a while after that. We spent the entire weekend together, just enjoying the company of each other and of our children. EJ seemed to be able to sense a change in the atmosphere—he still had problems sleeping (and still desired the bottle) but he was an overall happier baby during the day.

Abby, however, was getting even sicker. I woke up on Sunday to find blood crusted under her nose. She was breathing out of her mouth, which was extremely unusual.

I ran back to the living room, where Edward was watching the news. "Edward, Abby's nose is bleeding," I said, starting to panic. "We have to take her to the doctor. That isn't normal."

He immediately leapt up and followed me to the nursery.

I pulled my sleeping daughter out of the crib, rousing her from her sleep. She started to cry as I took her to the changing table and found a baby wipe to wash the blood off.

"Do you smell that?" Edward asked me.

I sniffed, and nearly gagged. "What is that stench?" I exclaimed.

I checked her diaper, but she was only wet. I bent down and sniffed her. The smell seemed to be coming from her nose.

"Infection?" I guessed weakly. "We have to take her in _now_."

He nodded wryly. She cried as I changed and dressed her, but was happy to be in my arms. I managed to get dressed and ready without putting her down.

I called Rose and asked if she could keep EJ. There was no need to expose him to germs in the waiting room. I didn't dare bring Abby into her house, scared Rosalie would catch whatever my daughter had. She didn't need that while she was pregnant.

Edward and I zoomed to the Forks Urgent Care clinic. They would see her faster than any doctor with an appointment would. Abby stayed in my lap as we waited for forty-five minutes. She felt awful, and was extremely cranky and bored. We earned quite a few sympathetic glances as she cried into my shoulder—and while I wiped away her bloody snot.

Finally, we were called back into an examination room, but of course we had to wait more.

"This is ridiculous," Edward murmured as I sat on the exam table, patting Abby's back and singing to her. There really was no comforting her—she was distraught, and she was bleeding on my shirt.

"Are you sure you want to do this for the next seventeen years?" I asked him.

He gave me a hurt glance. "Of course I do. I was referring to the system of this clinic. My daughter is bleeding, and they don't care."

Luckily, Dr. Phelps walked in then. "Good afternoon," he greeted us. "I take it that there is trouble with a beautiful little girl?" She glanced at Abby sympathetically.

"I don't know what's going on," I admitted, standing up and sitting Abby on the examination table. She was still crying.

"Well, I see a nosebleed," he said, taking a Q-tip and swiping her nose. "How old is she?"

"Nearly twenty months," Edward replied. "She has had a runny nose, and now she's bleeding…"

Dr. Phelps leaned down and very conspicuously sniffed her nose. A smile crossed his face. "How often does she try to pick her nose?"

I gave him a funny look. "Well, she's curious, but we try to keep her fingers out of there. Just like we keep her fingers out of her mouth and diaper."

Dr. Phelps grabbed his otoscope from the wall and put a very tiny fixture on it. Abby cried as he tried to tilt her head up, so I held her still. "Look up at Mommy," I told her. "Where is Mommy's chin?"

She pointed to my chin, concentrating on my face above her.

The doctor laughed after he shined the light into her nose. "I can't see a thing in this nostril."

"What does that mean?" Edward asked nervously.

He waved his hand dismissively. "I see quite a few of these cases every month. She has stuck something up there. I'm assuming it is food, because it is rotting. That's why she smells."

My mouth fell open. "Uh…are you serious?"

"Dead serious," he said with a smile on his face. "I just need some tweezers; that's all." He walked to a drawer and found a small pair.

"I'm so embarrassed," I groaned, covering my face with my hands.

Dr. Phelps laughed. "Please, Mom, don't be embarrassed. Kids do this stuff all the time. I need your help, though, so pull yourself together."

I had to hold Abby very still as he poked around in her nose with the tweezers. She was quite disturbed by the intrusion, and kept trying to wiggle. And she screamed. A lot.

Finally, after about twenty minutes, he pulled out a misshapen green object. "When did you eat English peas?" he said, obviously amused.

Edward let out a little whimper. "Thursday. It's been in there for four days!"

"Relax, she's fine," Dr. Phelps promised. "Look—she already feels better."

Abby was suddenly sneezing—one right after the other. These were different sneezes, though. Her nasal passage was clear, so she was finally blowing chunks of mucus and God knows what else.

"Abby!" I groaned, even though I was happy to see her with a clear nose. Dr. Phelps grabbed a tissue and let her sneeze into it.

He pulled a bottle out of a drawer—saline spray. She didn't even fight us as he washed out her nostrils. I could tell that she was happy to have her normal nose back. She had already stopped crying, and was trying to stick her fingers into her nose.

"Stop, Abby," Dr. Phelps said gently. "You do have some boo-boos up there. Mom and Dad, don't be surprised if she has little nosebleeds for the next couple of days. Just bend her over so the blood can run out of her nose. Don't lay her on her back; that is an outdated first aid strategy. Clean the blood up with a cotton ball. And spray her nose several times a day with the saline spray. It might burn the raw spots inside her nose, but it will clean her out."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "That's all?"

He smiled and winked at me. "That's all. You're lucky—many children have to undergo surgery for rocks in their ears. I had one child who stuck a pebble up his nose. When I plucked it out and put it on a tray, he picked it up and put it in his other nostril."

Edward and I laughed—mainly out of pure relief. "Oh my god," I moaned. "Thank God that's it."

"Go put her down for a nap, and she'll be back to normal," Dr. Phelps told us.

We thanked him profusely, paid our fee, and left the doctor's office.

"Well…that was interesting," Edward mused as he drove the Volvo toward Rosalie's house to pick up EJ.

I laughed. "Like I said…are you sure you're up for seventeen years of this?"

"I fervently hope that my daughter won't be sticking vegetables in her nose when she's a senior in high school," he said, a crooked smile tugging at his lips. "But I will still love being her daddy even if that does happen."

"You're sure," I said slowly. I wasn't sure why I felt so doubtful.

He stopped at a stop sign, and turned to face me, squeezing my hand. "Bella, I'm not going anywhere. You had me at hello. Literally. And these babies had me from their first cries. It's a very irrevocable love."

_ Irrevocable. Irrevocable. _

That was certainly a way to describe this journey of joint parenthood we were about to embark on. As Sylvia Plath would say, we had "boarded the train there's no getting off."

Together.

* * *

_Sorry if that little anecdote grossed you out. I'm trying very hard to make Abby and EJ as realistic as possible. And, in my opinion, you haven't raised a child unless you have had an object up the nose or in the ear. This isn't only a love story, but it's a family story. Parenthood isn't just peaches and cream._

_The Sylvia Plath reference is from her poem "Metaphors." I dare you to go read it and explain it to me. We had to write an essay on it in my AP English class-in forty minutes, with a pen-and I completely failed. I can write Emily Dickinson essays like a pro, but Sylvia ruins my grade every time.  
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_My other story "Portraits" is getting like zero reviews, so you should make up for the lack-on **this** story. Tell me what you thought.  
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	14. VERY IMPORTANT

**My stories have been put on hold indefinitely. There has been a family emergency, and considering I'm still a minor, I have no control over it. Long story short, I am in foster care.**

**I will never abandon any story I write. As soon as this mess is sorted out, Edward and Bella will once again be a huge part of my life. Right now, unfortunately, they are only taking up a small fraction of my brain as a means of escape for my stressed-out mind.**

**Your prayers would be greatly appeciated as I try to make my way through my own personal battle.**

**Love,  
Sarah**


	15. Aggressive

**I'm back! The situation is far from resolved but I am back home and with the best person I can be with-my dad. It's no secret that I've had problems with my mom, but I'm no longer living with her, so life is slowly getting better. We still have court and 234029384879827598243 things to work out, but writing is once again my therapy. Thank you guys so much for each message of hope, encouragement, love, and prayer. I cherish each one. It is amazing to know I have such loyal and caring readers. I never thought I would have people in Europe and South America praying for my family! And thank you for the patience with the story. I never got one negative message or review about my lack of updating. You guys are seriously the best!**

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**Chapter Thirteen: "Aggressive" Edward's POV  
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"And then he pulled out an English pea!" Bella said, earning the laughs of every person at my mother's dinner table. Since the court date that had changed everything, our big happy family became even happier. Dinner parties at Mom and Dad's were even more frequent. Finally we could just laugh and not worry about our bugs.

"I'm astounded," Dad admitted, pouring another glass of wine. "You know, EJ and Abby have been such good babies that it's easy to forget that they can pull things off like that."

"Tell me about it," Bella agreed. "We're going to have some very interesting terrible two's in a few months."

It was so hard for me to believe that they were only four months away from their second birthday. It had been a very crazy three years since I had met Bella. But I could honestly say that the troubles with Jacob had only brought us closer. Even now, I had an arm around her shoulders as we sipped wine with the non-pregnant adults of our family. (Rosalie, who was just beginning to look a little pudgy, was enjoying a glass of grape juice, as were EJ and Abby.) Bella grinned up at me as our family still laughed about our latest misadventure. I kissed her temple.

"My kids are going to be awful," Rose sighed. "They're going to be Emmett Cullen made over."

"Emmett never put anything up his nose," Mom said, trying to keep a straight face.

"I don't believe it," Rosalie replied, giving her fiancé an affectionate squeeze.

Mom laughed. "He just put blueberries in his ears!"

We all joined in on the laughter. "I remember that," I grinned. "His ears were blue. At least you look like a human and not an alien, right, Abby Hope?"

My little girl grinned at me from my lap, chewing on some figs my mom had candied. I gave both of my bugs kisses, making them giggle. EJ had eaten in Bella's lap, but had insisted on lounging against my chest as the adults chatted. I loved having a full lap.

"You're such a cute daddy, Edward," Alice marveled. "EJ and Abby are going to be so beautiful in the wedding."

I gave her a funny look. "They're in the wedding?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "As ringbearer and flower girl. I think they're too small...not to mention their short attention spans..."

"They'll be fine," Alice rolled her eyes. "And the wedding is nine months away, so they'll be so much bigger."

Bella blushed when the wedding date was mentioned. I immediately understood and squeezed her hand gently. Alice and Jasper had thoughtfully moved their wedding back a couple of times-first knowing that Bella couldn't handle a wedding so soon after Jacob's "death," and then second, knowing that Bella couldn't take the added stress. The divorce was due to be finalized in a month or two, so it gave plenty of time for Bella to kick back and heal so she could be a good bridesmaid.

Of course, Rosalie was pissed that the wedding was five months after her due date. She was vain enough to want to be the most beautiful bridesmaid. However seeing that she had gained maybe five pounds of baby weight at five months, nobody else was worried about her being skinny.

"When are you two going to tie the knot?" Mom prodded Rose and Emmett.

My brother coughed uncomfortably. "Ah, well, we've just decided to wait until she's skinny again."

"Yeah, but you've been engaged for nearly two years," Dad pointed out.

I knew that they had been waiting for Bella's benefit as well. I was about to change the subject when Mom said, "I really have attained grandchildren in the most unexpected of ways. I wouldn't change a thing though."

Bella and I grinned at each other. She scratched EJ's head softly. "I'm glad they have such a good Nana," she admitted. I nodded in agreement and took a drink of my wine.

"When are you two going to get married?" Mom asked us point-blank.

I suddenly choked on the wine. Bella, chocolate eyes wide, helpfully patted my back as I coughed. _Marriage._ Of course I wanted it, but I had been trying very hard not to pressure Bella into anything.

"Are you alright, sweetie?" Bella asked me in concern.

I nodded and wiped my mouth. "Yeah. Uh, Mom, she is still technically married."

"Of course," Mom rolled her eyes. "But come on, my darlings. You have to be thinking about it."

"We're waiting," Bella suddenly spoke up. "There's no reason for us to rush anything, right?"

I gave her a funny look. "Right, but it's going to happen...?" I wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question.

"Yeah, eventually," she said, eyes distant. She glanced around the table, looking for a scapegoat. "Alice, when are we going to taste food and wine for the wedding?"

I nervously bit my lip as we continued the conversation until the crowd dispersed. The women talked gaily as they washed the dishes. The men went to the living room. Jasper and Emmett played with the bugs while I talked to Dad.

"Are you loving your new role?" he asked me, referring to fatherhood.

I chuckled. "It's not a new role, but I know what you mean. It's wonderful. I love it more every day."

"They don't make you crazy?"

I shrugged, watching Abby as she gracefully danced across the white carpet. "I haven't gotten there yet. They amaze me every day. Even when EJ is up for a bottle, I really don't mind. Much."

"You guys need to break that habit," Dad the doctor murmured.

"Believe me, I know."

Later that night, Bella tucked the bugs into their cribs. She headed in the direction of the bathroom, letting her hair down and grabbing a towel from the linen closet. She was biting her lip-never a good sign.

"Hey, beautiful," I said, catching her arm. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," she said quickly. Too quickly. "I just really want a shower."

"I'm not buying it," I replied. "Something is bothering you."

She rolled her eyes. "Edward, I'm fine. I'm just tired and I have Abby snot on me and I just want a shower."

She pulled her arm from my grasp and walked into the bathroom. I followed her in and shut the door behind us. She gave me a funny look as I shrugged my shirt off and started my pre-bedtime routine.

"Edward, I'm taking a shower."

I shrugged. "Go ahead, love. But I'm not leaving the bathroom until you tell me what's bothering you."

Her eyes widened. "Um...you're not showering with me."

"I realize this," I replied a little curtly because face it-the idea was very appealing.

She crossed her arms. "So you're just going to stand there and brush your teeth for thirty minutes while I unwind?"

"Brush...floss...gargle...track the growth of my un-sprouted facial hair...whatever it is men are supposed to do before bed."

"You never gargle."

"Well, I will if it will make you just trust me enough to talk to me."

Bella sighed, a light blush touching her cheeks. "Edward, it is nothing. I promise. I just have the divorce on my mind and I'm tired."

For some reason, that wasn't good enough. She was hiding something from me. "Bella...I don't believe you."

"Fine. I can shower with you in here, you know." She dropped the towel over the rack and stepped in the bathtub behind the curtain. As I applied toothpaste to my toothbrush, her shirt flew over the curtain and hit me in the head.

"Cute, Bella," I rolled my eyes. Of course she already had me distracted.

Her pants were next, and now I was...well, fantasizing. I couldn't bring myself to brush my teeth as I waited for the next article of clothing. She was shyer this time, but finally, her bra sailed over and landed in the sink. She had rather excellent aim when she wasn't looking. Not that I was thinking about her pitching skills.

"Still here," I hinted, waiting on the last piece of clothing and a little piece of her mind.

"So am I," she snapped.

She waited a few minutes, but finally her panties landed in the floor, by my feet. I drew in a ragged breath as I realized that my love was completely naked with only a curtain keeping her from me.

"You're not getting these back, Bella," I announced, picking up the underwear. A bikini, in blue-my favorite color on her. I sighed heavily. Her teasing had won.

"That's really mature, Edward," she answered, and I could just picture her rolling her eyes. But there was an edge to her tone. She was annoyed.

"Why are you mad at me?" I exclaimed. "What have I done?"

The shower started up. "_You_ haven't done anything, Edward."

"Well...then who has?"

"Can you look under the sink and grab me that extra bottle of freesia body wash?"

"Yeah." I bent over and found the body wash. Leaning against the door, I popped it open and breathed in the scent of my Bella, concentrated into a little bottle of heaven.

"Um...are you going to let me have it?"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"Oh my god, Edward!" she groaned. I heard the pumping of her shampoo, and the strawberry scent saturated the steam particles that were wafting toward me. "Can't you just give me a little privacy?"

"Bella, trust me: I'm giving you a lot of privacy, because right now I want nothing more than to peel that curtain back."

"Give. Me. The. Body. Wash."

I sighed. "Bella..."

She let out a noise of frustration and poked her head out, carefully keeping her body sheathed. "Edward, seriously. I deserve privacy to shower and I deserve privacy in my own head. You don't have to know everything I think about, and this is _my_ house, damn it. What if it's really PMS? You don't want to hear about that."

"It's not PMS," I replied evenly.

"And how would you know that?"

"Because your period starts on the fifteenth."

She gave me a funny look. "How do you know that?"

I snorted. "Bella, I practically live with you. You never feel well starting on the twelfth. Oddly enough, that is the day I get paid on, so I always want to take you out to eat, but you never feel like it. You always get a headache on the fifteenth, and even though you never complain about it, that cute little crease between your eyebrows appears. I know your face so well that I can tell when something is wrong...like now."

Her eyes softened. "You notice when I don't feel well?"

I smiled at her. "Sweetie, I always notice. Why do you think I always make you peppermint tea on the fifteenth?"

She grinned, and it was like sunshine. "I didn't know it was so obvious. Growing up with a single dad, I never could vocalize about my periods or anything."

I chuckled. "Well, I also notice when the Midol is left on the bathroom counter, and when the tampons litter the bathroom trash can."

Her eyes widened in horror. "Oh my god, I'm such a slob. I'm so sorry."

Did she really think that bothered me? "Bella," I replied, confused again. "It's fine. I grew up with a mother and a sister who were very verbose about it. Your habits don't bother me."

She sighed and disappeared behind the shower curtain again. "Can I have my body wash?"

I sighed and walked across the small bathroom, sticking it in the shower. She snatched it from me and I immediately heard the bottle being squeezed.

I put the toilet lid down and sat on top of it. "So, are you still mad at me?"

She groaned. "I'm not mad at_ you_."

"Then who are you mad at?"

I heard her swear, and then her head reappeared again. "If I tell you, will you leave me alone and let me shower in peace?"

"Maybe."

She slipped behind the curtain again, and I heard her plug the tub. Bella had a peculiar little habit of lying down in the tub while she showered, and she always let the slightly-cooler water  
culminate in the bottom. "Fine, Edward," she said. "I'm angry with myself."

That certainly wasn't what I was expecting. "Wait...what?"

"I've been leading you on," she moaned.

My heart suddenly froze, and I felt my blood run cold in my veins. "W-what do you...mean?"

"We cuddle in bed, and we have those cute little talks about marriage and a big house and more kids...and I'm just...not into it."

I found myself wishing I could slide the curtain away and look at her, but for an entirely different reason this time. I wanted to see those deep, expressive eyes that always told me the truth, no matter what those cherry lips were saying. "Do you not...want me?"

"Oh, my god, no!" she exclaimed, and I heard her try to scramble up. Suddenly, something hit the shower wall and I heard her shout, "Damn!"

"Bella," I said nervously. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," she gasped, peering out of the curtain again. "I'm fine, I just…ran into the wall. Edward, I love you and I'm going to want you for the rest of my life. But I'm scared that I'm leading you on about marriage. Because you seem to really love the idea. And so do I...but I don't want it anytime soon."

"Define _soon_," I mumbled.

She shrugged her delicate shoulders. "How can I put a schedule on such a thing as love? But I think that Esme and Carlisle are already banking on a wedding like, this year. And I'm just not ready for that. I want to enjoy some time being a single woman again."

"You want to be single again?" I would be lying if I said that this little statement didn't hurt deeply.

"I want to be with you forever," she promised me. "But I want to enjoy being ring-less for a while. You know, separate bank accounts and the option of staying at different houses...I _need _that. I need to be romanced again before I leap into marriage."

"I realize this," I said slowly. "I'm not planning on proposing to you the minute after the divorce is finalized."

She reached a hand out and touched my cheek. "So you don't mind waiting a year or two?"

"I thought you just said you can't schedule-"

Her fingers covered my lips. "I have a pretty good idea, but it's not set in stone."

I sighed. The thought of two years with no wedding didn't make much sense to me. In two years, EJ and Abby would be nearly four years old, and speculation on our relationship would just heighten if I dropped them off at day care or whatever...

"You don't agree," Bella sighed.

I mashed my lips together as I thought about this. "Bella, I really wish you were my wife now...but you're worth waiting for."

She smiled. "Thank you. I love you."

"I love you, too," I murmured, standing up to kiss her. She gave me a chaste kiss before pulling away.

And then it hit me. I had just kissed Bella, while she was naked. A moan escaped my lips as I felt a sudden increase in blood flow.

"Maybe I should go," I muttered.

"Blue balls, right?" she asked as she once again moved behind the curtain so I couldn't even see her face. "I'm sorry. I'm such a witch."

"Not a witch, just a tease," I sighed.

"I'm sorry..."

"But you know what?" I added.

"What?"

"Teasing is sexy," I admitted. "I'm enjoying it greatly, even if I do have an acute case of _blue balls_."

"I_ am_ kind of wishing you would join me in here..." she confessed wistfully.

"But I'm not going to," I replied. "It's wrong. You're still married. I can wait a month or two...just like I can wait a year or two to marry you."

"At least," she added.

I simply sighed. "I'm going to go do...something else."

"I'll be out soon."

I went to the living room and turned on the television, keeping the volume low so it wouldn't wake the bugs. For some reason, our conversation had left me sad. I knew that she would be my wife someday, but it wouldn't be as soon as I had hoped. Still, as long as she was in my life, I really couldn't complain.

The television couldn't hold my interest, so I went to the kitchen. We had a few dirty dishes from earlier in the day. I worked on washing the dishes and scrubbing the countertops, still pensive about the whole ordeal. I was actually pretty frustrated. Bella would give me her all, and then she would pull away and retreat from me. She was terrified to stick with one decision and to place her total trust in a man. I wanted to kill Jacob Black for doing this to her. I never had a chance to punch him back after he had fractured my nose at the twins' birthday party…

I didn't realize the sponge was nearly scrubbing my hands raw until Bella's little fingers stopped my furious washing. "Edward," she said softly, "please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad at _you_," I parroted her. "Just…the whole situation. I fervently wish that EJ and Abby were my biological children. That would solve a whole slew of problems because then you would have never been married to Jacob in the first place, and you and I could have a lot more history and experience to add to this already-perfect relationship, and you wouldn't have to worry about a divorce and custody and child support, and you could _trust_ me—"

"I _do_ trust you," she said meekly.

"Okay, fine, let me rephrase that," I conceded. "We wouldn't even have to worry about a wedding because we would already be married, and we could have _sex,_ for crying out loud—"

She actually smiled. "Edward, drop the dish."

I was clutching a soapy skillet so tightly that my skin was stretched white over my knuckles. I obediently let it fall into the sink with a clatter and stared into her brown eyes.

She held my gaze as her hand blindly searched the counter for something. She found the item and took my hands between hers. Gently, she dried my arms and hands off with a dishtowel. Once the soap and water was wiped off, she stood on her tiptoes to press her forehead to my neck. "Close your eyes, my love."

"What?" I asked, practically whimpering in relief as she kissed my neck. We were okay.

"It's _your_ turn to trust _me_. Close your eyes, honey."

I let my eyelids fall, temporarily blinding me to whatever plan she was concocting in that beautiful mind. She kissed my lips once before leaving me. I made a noise of protest at her sudden absence, but she chuckled from a few feet away. "Patience, my love, patience," she chanted lightly.

"I'm _trying…"_

She laughed quietly. "Good things come to those who wait. Well…I hope so. This could be rather humiliating. Promise you won't laugh at me?"

I had no earthly idea what she was talking about, so I smirked and said cockily, "That's a rather hard promise to make where you're concerned."

"I know," she said a bit ruefully. I heard a click, and then slow music started to play.

"Iron & Wine?" I asked in surprise. "You listen to them?"

"Ever since I stole your laptop and ripped your music off iTunes." Her voice was suddenly right in front of me. I reached out to touch her, but immediately dropped my hands, not wanting to brush against a part of her body I shouldn't have. Actually, I was pretty sure the point of this whole trust exercise was so I _could_ touch her, but I wasn't about to act on that assumption.

"Come here, you," she said, taking me into her arms. "Keep 'em closed."

My eyebrows shot up as she took my left hand in hers and put an arm around my waist. She pulled me away from the counter and slowly started to sway a little awkwardly to the music. "Edward," she whined. "You want to dance with me all the time, and then when I finally give in, you just stand there frozen?"

I finally opened my eyes, and immediately started to dance with her. I couldn't fight the grin on my face. Sure, dancing wasn't sex, but this was more right for this moment.

"It would be better if you didn't watch me," she said wryly as I stared at her face.

"On the contrary," I disagreed, nuzzling my nose to her temple. "You're beautiful. I've wanted to do this for a long time."

I gently prodded her into twirling with the music. Her bathrobe skirted out a little, and then she fell back into my arms. After hours of cotillion training forced on me by my mother, I knew how to lead a dance. I turned her kitchen into a dance floor, gracefully showing her how to properly take the steps. Finally, she began to twirl on her own, but she would always melt back into me.

The song finished, and I dipped her backward to the floor so I could kiss her neck. She giggled as a new song came on the shuffle—Enrique Iglesias.

"That most definitely is _not _on my iPod," I was quick to clarify.

"Nah, it's on mine." She left my arms and turned to switch the song. "You _are_ my hero, though."

"I hate that song."

"Well, I love _you_."

I don't know how long we danced in the kitchen. Finally, we knew that if we didn't get any sleep any time soon, EJ would ensure that we didn't get any sleep at all. So we regretfully went to bed and fell asleep tangled up with each other. We were back in the real world, in the cycle of "we're okay…for this minute."

God, I hated that cycle.

* * *

Bella's divorce was actually moving along rather quickly now that the custody ordeal was taken care of. And it seemed like after she got all of that junk about marriage and separate bank accounts off her chest, she was happier. She still had her days where she worried, but I just soothed her through that, and we were okay.

EJ and Abby were still growing in leaps and bounds. They were exactly twenty-one months old the day life suddenly grew much brighter.

I had been in a meeting with a client, camped out in the conference room with Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley. I finally was able to leave the room and go to my office to prepare for yet another meeting. I let out a groan as soon as my office door was closed.

"Bad day, Mr. Cullen?" a seductive voice asked from my desk.

I swirled around and saw Bella sitting in my leather desk chair, feet propped up on my desk. Her creamy white legs were stretched out so I could see her shins, calves, and part of her thighs. She wore a skirt and blouse set she had bought for court.

_Oh, right._ She did have a court date that day…and it was possible that this could be the final hearing. Actually, it was _probable_, but I knew just how quickly a judge or a lawyer or Jacob Black could throw a wrench into a perfectly good plan.

"Hey, sweetie," I said, suddenly feeling much happier. I leaned over the desk and pecked her lipsticked mouth. "How was court?" I asked hopefully.

She smiled. "Maybe you shouldn't refer to me as _sweetie._ I kind of like the sound of my new name…"

My heart leapt. "And what is that name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan!" she shrieked. "I'm officially a divorced woman!"

"Oh my god!" I said, skipping around the desk to pull her into my arms. "Love, I'm so happy for you."

"Mmm." She kissed me again. "Me, too. So, so happy. Our little thunderstorm is finally over, and EJ and Abby are ours, and you and I are free to do_ whatever_ we want."

Her index and middle fingers suggestively walked across the lapels of my jacket before tucking into my shirt collar.

I sighed happily, burying my face in her brown curls. "You promise?"

"Tonight," she whispered a bit huskily. "The kids are going to bed early. I need you, you need me, we need each other...I can't fight it any more."

I loved the idea of sex, but I didn't want that to overshadow this wonderful moment. I kissed her cheek. "I'm so proud of you, honey. The battle is over."

"With just a few scars left," she sighed.

"Hey, if you don't have scars, you haven't fought the battle."

She smiled and locked her arms around my neck before pulling my mouth to hers. We kissed passionately, letting every ounce of our joy, relief, and love mingle with each other through our lips. After a few minutes, I was sure I had lipstick all over my lips, teeth, and face, but I wasn't very worried about it...

"Mr. Cullen, your next client is-"

Gianna suddenly stopped in the doorway. Bella and I guiltily turned to her and saw a knowing smile on her face. "I mean," she improvised, "take your time, sir."

"No, it's okay," Bella said, gathering her purse and car keys. "I have to go pick my kids up from their Nana's house, anyway. Baby, come home as soon as you can and I'll have dinner on the table, okay?"

"Alright," I said, kissing her forehead. "Wish me luck in this meeting."

"Good luck, Atticus."

Gianna cleared her throat. "Mr. Cullen, while I really love that lipstick on Bella, I'm not sure it's your color."

My cheeks flamed red as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Sure enough, I had more lipstick on than Bella.

"I'll fix that," Bella chuckled.

Gianna winked at us before she left and closed the door. Bella licked her thumb and used it to wipe the lipstick off my face.

"You are _such _a mommy," I rolled my eyes teasingly. "I haven't had anyone clean me with fingers and saliva in, oh, about twenty years."

Now _she_ was the one with a red face. "Oh my god," she said, eyes dropping to the floor and hands folding behind her back. "I totally didn't even realize I did that. I just...I do it to the bugs, and-"

"Bella." I grabbed her wrist and kissed her palm. "I'm not complaining. You just had your tongue in my mouth and now you're worried about that? I think it's unbelievably cute. Mothering is second nature to you now. And I find that incredibly beautiful."

She smiled and pulled a Kleenex from the desk. "Thanks. This might work better, anyway. Um...you might want to go rinse your mouth out..." She lightly touched my teeth with her fingertip. "I don't think we've been that, um, _aggressive_ in a long time."

"Consider it a hint of things to come," I said slyly, taking the Kleenex.

She giggled. "Tonight."

I tried to wipe my mouth. "I'll drop by the drug store and pick up some protection on the way home. We don't need any more bugs running around."

"Oh, I'm still on birth control," she said, surprising me. "I didn't think it would be wise to stop taking it while I was still living with Jacob, and after he moved out, I just kept taking it. I already had an extended prescription, and why stop? I'm used to the side effects by now...and I knew that eventually I would need it again..." She wiped a smudge off the corner of my mouth.

"Oh," I said. "Well...still...let's just be responsible, okay?"

"You're right," she agreed. "I think you're all clean, honey. Go be Forks' most prized attorney...and I'll see you tonight." She suggestively cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Okay." I kissed her cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too. It's all past us now."

"It is indeed," I said, hugging her tight. "Be careful on the roads; it's raining pretty hard. Stay at my parents' house if you have to. I would rather you stay there until the rain let up than drive _my _children through a thunderstorm."

She rolled her eyes, kissed my jaw, and sauntered out of the office, giving her hips an extra swing.

I had a _lot_ to look forward to that night.

As soon as five o'clock rolled around, I zoomed out of the office and to the nearest drug store. After my...items...were bought (earning a not-so-subtle look from the Quileute cashier; she had probably heard about the Black scandal), I drove home. Luckily, the rain had mostly stopped, and Bella's car when in the driveway. I snagged my little plastic bag up, along with my briefcase, and tiptoed up the porch steps.

Abby and EJ had started a new game. Every day when I came home from work-and they _always _seemed to know when five thirty rolled around-they would hide behind the front door, jump out, and try to frighten me. I always put on the histrionics, acting terribly surprised and scared, which amused them to no end. But today I was going to try to keep them from hearing me and "frighten" them. Not that I would ever purposely scare my children. It was going to be more of a "Surprise!" than a Boogeyman noise.

I opened the door and heard a babyish snicker from the corner. Just as I was about to jump and surprise them, they ran out. "Boo!" they both shouted, waving their hands around and laughing hard.

_Ah, they beat me to the punch._ "Aah!" I said in fake shock, dropping my possessions and throwing my hands up. "Monsters!"

"Boo!" Abby said again, holding the handle of my briefcase. She tried to drag it to me, but it was much too heavy for her little muscles. "Here, Daddy!"

"Thank you, love." I picked it up and set it in the corner, by the umbrella stand. "It can stay right there."

"Here, Daddy," EJ said, picking up the plastic drug store bag. Curious, he opened it up and looked at the brightly-colored box inside. "Num-nums?"

"Uh...no," I said awkwardly, pulling it from his fingers. "Those are Daddy's..."

"Num-nums?"

"It's not candy, love."

Abby attached herself to my left leg, and then EJ took over my right leg. That was another game-sit on Daddy's shoes and let him transport you around the house. EJ bounced on my foot, clearly telling me to start moving. I chuckled and started the slow trudge to the kitchen. They both beamed as they rode on my shoes. I had to admit that Emmett was much better at this game than I was.

"Oh my!" Bella exclaimed animatedly as she saw us enter the kitchen. She was at the counter, making the bugs plates of cut up pieces of food. "EJ and Abby, you two are some lazy little bugs! You're not honeybees or worker ants, are you?"

"Not at all," I agreed, lifting her hair and kissing the nape of her neck. "Dinner smells great."

"It's ready. I'm just setting the table. Can you put them in their high chairs?"

"Absolutely." I took the necessary three steps to the high chairs and swept my kids up into their chairs. Once they were safe and secure and my legs were free, I took my jacket and tie off and draped them over the back of a chair. "Do you need help?"

"No, thanks, we're seriously ready to eat." She turned around, children's plates in hand, and kissed my lips, lingering a little. "Did you stop by the drugstore?"

"Yes, the package is on the counter over there. Our son was extremely curious."

"At least he's interested in protection," she said jokingly. "He's off to a good start!"

She had made roast beef with sour cream potatoes, steamed veggies, and French bread covered in cheese. I loved her cooking so much, but I really liked to watch our kids' reactions to it. They entertained us throughout the whole meal as they played in their mashed potatoes and stripped the cheese off their bread.

"You guys need to eat, not play," Bella scolded them halfheartedly. "You're cute, but you're making a huge mess."

In the end, I ended up bathing the bugs while Bella scrubbed their high chair trays and washed their clothes. I knew I was probably postponing bedtime, because a bath was an effective way to calm them down and lull them into sleep, but they were unbelievably messy. Still, I was in too much of a good mood to scold them. I went ahead and put them in their pajamas with fresh diapers, combed their hair, and went back into the living room.

It was a fun night. I think they could sense that a huge weight had been lifted off their parents' shoulders, because they seemed to be so happy. They often climbed up into Bella's lap just to kiss her face, and then they would run off to go play again. We played with them a little, but they were mostly content to play with each other. I loved watching their imaginations develop as they grew older. Abby "fed" her baby doll and pretended to rock it, and EJ found about a million uses for a laundry basket Bella had left in the living room. They were practically Cullens, so they had a _ton _of toys, but they were able to entertain themselves with everyday household objects, too. Sometime around seven thirty, they started rubbing their eyes, so Bella and I (kind of excitedly) scooped them up and rocked them to sleep.

"You don't think they're getting too old for that, do you?" Bella asked me after we tucked their sleeping bodies into their cribs. "Rocking them, I mean."

"Nah," I said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I'm not ready to give it up."

She sighed wistfully, but I had other things on my mind. I kissed her cheek and pulled her toward the door. She suddenly giggled and practically skipped down the hall toward our bedroom.

"Wait, I left my stuff in the kitchen," I said. "I'll be right back."

She had a familiar twinkle in her brown eyes. "I'll be waiting."

_Oh, hot damn..._

I practically dashed to the kitchen, grabbed my little box of responsibility, and went back to the hallway. Before I entered the bedroom, though, I suddenly felt self-conscious.

She and I had only had sex a few times, and all in one night. I knew I was comfortable with her...but still, what if she wasn't comfortable with me? I wanted to look my best for her, and perform my best for her, and...well, it was a bit frightening. I had never been nervous with a woman other than Bella, but it was only because I loved her so intensely and my worst nightmare was disappointing her in any way, even sexually.

I went to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I looked in the mirror, studying my appearance. I looked a bit disheveled-Abby had been playing in my hair, making the already messy locks even messier. I tried to tame them, but to no avail. Sighing, I grabbed the blue toothbrush that sat next to Bella's pink one-and the _Scooby Doo _toothbrushes our kids used-and squirted a healthy amount of toothpaste on it. I cleared my mouth of any traces of asparagus or roast beef. When my teeth felt extremely clean and my breath tasted fresh, I flossed...and then I searched for other ways to improve myself. Hmm, I didn't want my face to scratch her skin. I used my electric razor to run over my chin and jaw, clearing out any chances at stubble that wasn't even really there. I even washed my feet in the bathtub, just in case they smelled sweaty after being in my socks and dress shoes all day...and then I put on a few extra swipes of deodorant.

Finally, I muttered to myself, "Now or never, Cullen," and walked out of the bathroom. The bedroom door was open. Bella had dimmed the lights, turning on only the bedside lamps. I looked inside and saw her sitting on the bed, wearing a little blue nightgown that dipped down between her breasts and covered only a little thigh. Her legs were crossed, hiding anything she was wearing (or not wearing) under the nightie, and letting me take in those long legs.

"Wow," I said inadequately, admiring the way the lace trim of the silk rested against her ivory skin. My mouth suddenly felt a bit watery, and desire clenched my belly. I was going to end up drooling like a teenage boy. Captivated, I leaned against the door and just stared.

"Do you like?" she asked innocently. "Alice and I bought it when we went to Port Angeles last weekend."

"I love it," I said, almost offended that she would ask such a ridiculous question. "Can I just look at you for a while?"

She blushed and smiled. "Wouldn't you rather get a close-up view?"

I could take a hint. I bit my lip nervously as I walked over to her. I sat down next to her and pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms around her. The silk of her nightgown felt unbelievably sensual against my hands as I kissed her, my lips loving and reverent. I stroked her sides through her nightgown, and her hands played on my chest. Finally, she started to unbutton my shirt.

I laid back against the pillows, pulling her on top of me. She straddled my lap and continued to uncover my torso. When the shirt was off, she bent down and used her mouth to caress my chest and stomach. This had been forbidden territory for a very long time.

"Mmm," I sighed happily, stroking her thighs. "Baby, let me look at you."

She raised up, flipping her long hair behind her, and raised her arms. Taking a deep breath, I pulled up her nightgown and slid it up her body. Just as I suspected, she wore nothing underneath. I couldn't move for a few minutes, save for my fingers that continued to play on her legs. I just stared, taking in every inch of her porcelain-colored body, every soft curve and dip absolutely perfect.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, my fingers dancing up her body.

"Am I?" she asked nervously.

"You're _perfect_. Come here."

She laid back down on top of me. I finally allowed my hands to wander and claim the territory that was mine. Every single muscle and texture of her body was just as I remembered it, if not better. You couldn't even tell she had carried twins...god, she was gorgeous.

We kissed and touched for a very long time, but finally she grew impatient. "I want you," she nearly choked out, fingers traveling to my pants. "You're beautiful, too. Let me love you."

I was in total agreement-well, with the first part. Within seconds, we were both totally exposed to each other.

"I love you, Isabella Swan," I whispered as we rolled over together, wrapping limbs around each other.

"I love you, Edward Cullen," she replied, claiming my mouth as hers.

After more tender touching and sweet nothings, our relationship was whole once again as we rediscovered each other. Life couldn't get much better until I would finally be allowed to put a ring on her. But I was willing to wait for that.

Isabella Marie Swan-_no longer Black, _I thought smugly-was my goddess, maybe even my religion. I would wait on her, love her, cherish her, and totally adore her until she felt beautiful and complete once again.

* * *

_Edward and Bella danced to "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron & Wine. Yes, it's the same song they danced to at prom in the first movie. I was listening to it when I wrote this chapter, and it seemed to fit. I loved it before Twilight, but now I love it even more._

_Edward's quote "If you don't have scars, you haven't fought the battle" was sent to me by the fabulous **rosellebec. **That quote has gotten me through the past month, along with other great quotes and words of encouragement she sent me. She's pretty darn amazing, if I do say so myself._

_Bella's POV is next. We'll hear from Jacob sometime soon, but his POV will not be frequent at all...  
_

_As for when my next update will be, I'm not sure. Just bear with me. I already have a large part of the next chapter written (lots and lots of bugs!) but I'm not living on much of a schedule right now, outside of court-mandated doctor appointments and meetings with the lovely people who are trying to help me out._

_Finally, I don't know if I answered any of your questions for the past two chapters, and it would take forever to go through every review again. So leave those questions (and more) in a review for this chapter, or go to my Formspring. The link is on my profile. You don't have to sign up to ask questions!_

_I LOVE Y'ALL!  
_


	16. Progress

**Whew! Sorry for the lack in posting. This just may be the longest chapter in BS/AS history. Over 11,100 words? Wow!  
**

**Also, I apologize for the fact that the bugs take up 80% of this chapter and Edward only takes up about 20%. I was missing my little sister severely when I wrote this, and this chapter sort of became a giant explosion of kiddie stuff-sippy cups, babas, "The Upside Down Show," and coloring green puppies. You can't imagine how much fun this stuff actually is until you've completely adored a child. I didn't have the heart, time, or patience, to cut some of it out of the final draft.**

**Read the bottom for a few announcements, please.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: "Progress" Bella's POV  
**

"Black?" the nurse called from the door, scanning the waiting room.

"That's us," I muttered, standing up and carrying Abby on my hip, a diaper bag on my shoulder. Edward faithfully followed with EJ into the roomy examination room. We were in Port Angeles' nicest pediatrician's office, having a checkup performed. We thought that people would be less nosy and judgmental if we weren't in Forks.

Fit snugly into a corner was a small table with two chairs for the kids. It was one of those fun tables, with simple puzzles and games attached. Edward and I sat our babies at the table and they immediately were enthralled. We sat in the grown-up chairs and held hands. I wasn't worried about this doctor's appointment—I just wanted to have a checkup and a physical performed on each of my children after the divorce. I needed to make sure their growth and development was on track, their vocabulary was up to par, and that I was taking care of everything they needed at the tender age of twenty-one months.

Plus I needed to talk about bottles.

"Which child is being examined?" the nurse asked as she typed on a computer.

"Both of them," I said. "Just having checkups."

She pulled up their files. "And you are...?"

"I'm the mother," I said. "This is their future stepfather."

She gave us a sneaky look, trying to appraise why such small children would need a stepparent. I could imagine the questions going through her head: could a marriage really sour that quickly? Could a mother really be loose enough to move on to a "future stepfather" to children that young? I sighed at her nosiness, and Edward kissed the top of my hand.

"Dr. Castel will be with you soon," the nurse murmured before leaving.

"Are you not taking their vitals?" I asked.

"I'll let Dr. Castel do it."

I turned to Edward with my mouth open. "What was _that_ about? They're clearly healthy, well-behaved, clean…why wouldn't she want to even touch them?"

"I know, darling," Edward admitted, kissing my temple. "Just ignore it. Maybe Dr. Castel just takes care of the babies. Don't fault the nurse for something we're not even sure of."

"Daddy," EJ said, bringing my love a floppy children's book out of a little basket. "Book!"

"Very good," Edward said brightly at our son's growing vocabulary. "Do you want to read?"

"Yes!"

Edward pulled him into his lap and read the very short book, about a cat on the beach. EJ clapped when he was finished.

EJ loved his daddy. I really couldn't ask for more.

Finally, Dr. Castel entered in a white labcoat. Edward and I stood up to shake her hand.

"Mr. and Mrs. Black?" she asked, giving my tanned children and my pale boyfriend a doubtful glance.

"Mr. Cullen and Ms. Swan," I tried to say gracefully. "I'm the biological mother, newly divorced. Edward here is my boyfriend."

"Ah," she said neutrally, not seeming to be offended. _Thank God._ "Blended families often share the most love, I like to say."

Edward gave her a genuine smile. "Well, I chose to love them, rather than being forced into it. So I agree."

Dr. Castel seemed to be dazzled by my handsome man. "You're a real man," she said admiringly. "So, Ms. Swan, what's the problem?"

"We're just having a post-divorce checkup, to make sure everything is okay," I explained.

"I see. Abigail and Edward...Abby and EJ, I see...twenty-one months...good health," she read from a file. "Who is first?"

"Abby tends to be the leader," I admitted, scooping her up. "EJ will behave more if he sees her behave."

Both of my children were right on track in development and health. Their vitals were great, and Abby (who had always been small) was climbing the percentiles in growth. Dr. Castel did mention, however, that EJ was much too chubby and I needed to watch his sugar intake, especially in snacks aimed at toddlers like juice boxes. I didn't tell her that sugar was the problem-it was his precious baba.

However, that of course had to be brought up.

"How much do they sleep?" she asked me as she typed notes on the computer.

"Twelve hours a night and they still take morning and afternoon naps," I replied as Abby scrambled into Edward's lap. He grinned at her and kissed her cheek, sharing one of their daddy-daughter moments. I loved being a witness to those little pieces of time.

"Mama," EJ sang, standing up on the examination table and reaching for me. I picked him up and let him rest his head on my shoulder. It was after lunch and he was due for a nap in a little while.

"Well, that explains his weight!" she exclaimed. "They eat and sleep all the time!"

I gave her a blank look. "Are they sleeping too much? They're definitely active—they play hard all the time!"

"It sounds fine, but don't be surprised if one of them or both of them start to resist a nap," she explained. "Many children start taking one nap a day at this age. I think if this schedule works well for you and your children, then you shouldn't change it. EJ and Abby, however, may not feel the same. Don't be opposed to the idea of ditching one nap if they feel they're too old for it. And don't be surprised if Abby decides she wants one nap while EJ is happy with two. Remember that they're individuals."

"Right," I said lightly. "Well, as long as they're happy with two naps, I won't complain. Naptime is Mommy time."

"I don't blame you," she smiled. "Now I feel the need to ask a question. Please don't be offended, but how are they reacting toward the divorce? We need to not only take care of your children's physical wellbeing, but their mental health as well."

Edward and I exchanged a glance. "Well," I hedged, "their biological father has surrendered all parental rights, so they no longer see him. Which is good. They're too young to understand what is going on, and he often scared him. He was a loud man who grew into a violent man. So they're much happier now that he's gone."

"Were they unhappy?"

"Abby, who usually has a very vibrant personality, withdrew from the people around her," I admitted. "Now she's back to normal. However, we have a little problem with EJ."

"What is that?" Dr. Castel asked.

"He was weaned off the b-o-t-t-l-e and now he wants it back. We're up to two feedings a night."

She gave me a funny look. "I don't see a problem with this, except that it's making him fat."

"He's regressing," I explained. "He was on a sippy cup-only diet and then after one bad fight between me and his biological father, he wanted a bottle to suck on. I was so tired and stressed out that I just gave it to him so I could get some sleep at night."

She pursed her lips together. "I don't think there is anything wrong with using bottles and pacifiers. Unless you're giving him a bottle of milk he can sleep with."

"We never do that," I assured her. "I don't want him chewing on a rubber nipple all night. Plus the sugar in the milk will rot his teeth."

"The nipple isn't so bad," she replied. "But I agree with you about the milk. Well, Ms. Swan, if he thinks he still needs a bottle, maybe he does."

I shook my head. "No, you don't understand. Two times a night, one of us is up with him. He doesn't just take the bottle. He wants to be cradled, rocked, and sang to. Sometimes he wants a story, sometimes he wants to play. And then he has to be put back to sleep."

"You think he needs the extra attention and care," she guessed.

Edward cut in then. "Which we don't mind giving. But we're exhausted."

Dr. Castel folded her hands together. "Do you rock both of them to sleep every night?"

"Of course," I said. "With a story or a lullaby."

"I thought so," she nodded. "You know, maybe it's time that they learned some independence. They should know how to self-soothe. They're growing up; they need to learn that Mommy and Mommy's boyfriend can't come running whenever they make a squeak."

"Daddy," I corrected her. "Edward is Daddy. And what do you mean, self-soothe? Just...letting them cry it out?"

"They're old enough for that," she nodded. "I'm not saying you can't rock them to sleep at nighttime. That is probably a precious part of your day. But if EJ starts to cry at night, he needs to know that Mommy and Daddy need to sleep, too."

I turned and looked at Edward. The expression on his face probably resembled mine. We were disgusted by the thought.

"At eighteen months or even much sooner, many parents put their children in the crib or the bed and let them fall asleep on their own," Dr. Castel continued. "It's not cruel and unusual. But my point is: EJ may feel a bit fragile after the divorce, but he's also playing you. He has learned if he cries, he doesn't have to sleep. He can have a yummy snack and full, undivided attention from his parents. He gets a story or a lullaby that Abby doesn't."

"That doesn't make sense," I replied. "He doesn't set an alarm clock...why would he wake up and cry if he didn't need us? What if he's having nightmares?"

"It has become a habit," she answered me. "He habitually wakes up twice a night, just like he habitually naps twice a day. Maybe when he started this, he was having bad dreams or he was in real need of time with Mommy. But I suspect now that it's just habit. He needs to learn that Mommy and Daddy have other people to take care of-themselves."

"But we don't know that for sure," I shot back. "What if you're wrong?"

She smiled serenely. "Ms. Swan, I'm only human. I may be wrong. But this kind of behavior is common in toddlers."

"So what is your solution?" I snapped.

She explained a process that was so lengthy and undesirable that even Abby made a noise of disgust, as if she understood. When Dr. Castel finished, I sighed. "I just can't imagine letting him scream," I confessed. "What kind of mother does that? And I'm more worried about his teeth and his dependency on the bottle than I am about my sleep. Giving him a bottle of water doesn't solve the bottle problem."

"He will give up the bottle when he is ready. Does he have a security item, like a blanket or a stuffed animal?"

I shook my head. "No, he never has."

"The bottle is his security item. Let him depend on it."

"He shouldn't need a security item," I muttered.

Dr. Castel gave me an encouraging smile. "Security items are common in even the healthiest and happiest of children. Ms. Swan, you are doing a great job with these children. I treat kids who have perfectly normal lives with perfectly stable homes and they aren't as healthy or well-behaved as your babies. Listen to them talk—such vocabularies! You know, seventy-five percent of mothers I see automatically assume their child is autistic or ADHD, and you haven't even brought that up. It's obvious that you spend time with them and you want to teach them and care for them and take care of them. You're a great mom. Don't be ashamed that your son needs one little constant in his life. Just remember that it will make him feel better. And you need to realize that he is at the age that he should be able to put himself to sleep and soothe himself back into sleep."

"He _has_ soothed himself into sleep," I admitted. "One night when I didn't have the energy to play with him in the wee hours of the morning. I just laid him down and went to bed and he was fine."

"See?" Dr. Castel said gently. "He's just in a routine now. Break the routine. And let them learn some independence."

Later in the car, Abby and EJ were cooing to each other in the backseat. I turned to Edward as he was driving. "I hate Dr. Castel's idea. And I tend to trust Carlisle's judgment that bottles aren't good for him more than I trust a complete stranger."

"So do I," he admitted, "but she is right about his sleeping schedule. It has become a habit, love. He can't continue to think nighttime is for Mommy and Daddy time."

"But he _needs_ me," I mumbled. "How in the world can I let him cry when he needs me?"

"You do it to both of them when they are in trouble," he pointed out. "They both cry for a long time after a spanking or in time-out, and we manage to ignore them."

"That's different," I insisted.

"I agree...but he needs to be disciplined back into a healthy sleeping schedule."

"I know," I sighed. "Maybe we should make him skip the afternoon nap today and see if he wakes up tonight."

"That's a start," Edward agreed.

He had to go back to work until five, so he dropped us off at home. Both of my children were sleepy and ready for naps, but I knew that EJ needed to stay awake, like Edward and I had agreed. Abby was still happy with naps and sleeping through the night, though, and I knew it would be easier for me to focus on EJ if she was asleep. So I put EJ in his high chair with his favorite snack—apple slices with peanut butter and a sippy cup of milk—and took Abby into the living room to rock. I didn't like Dr. Castel's idea of "independence." Of course I knew that I couldn't rock my children to bed every night until they went to college, but as a woman, I still needed this bonding time with them. There was nothing quite like holding a baby in your arms and knowing your presence alone could send her into sweet dreams.

My son was perfectly happy to eat his snack by himself while I lulled his sister into sleep. Abby was exhausted and didn't take long at all, thankfully. As soon as I had laid her down in her crib, I turned on the baby monitor I rarely used anymore and grabbed its mate.

"Ee-ay night-night?" my son asked as I joined him. He was rubbing his eyes.

"No night-night," I replied, kissing his cheek. "We're going to play!"

He gave me a funny look, like I had lost my mind. "Where's Abby?" he asked.

I giggled at the way he was forming sentences. "Abby is taking a nap," I explained, holding up the baby monitor I had collected. "But you are a big boy and you don't need a nap. We are going to play."

"Night-night," he insisted, chomping on his last apple slice. That kid could really eat.

"No," I said again. "You are a big boy. Mommy's big boy."

He thought this over before smiling at me. Apparently the words 'big boy' were enough to convince him. Edward and I were constantly using that very important compliment to bribe him and praise him. ("Big girl" worked just as well for Abby.) He shoved the last bite of apple into his mouth and reached for me.

I lifted him out of the high chair and squeezed him into a big hug. "Mommy and EJ time!" I exclaimed. His eyes were heavy—he was so used to being asleep by now—but he looked happy.

"Mommy and Ee-ay," he agreed.

I turned the baby monitor on and took him outside to the swing-set. At the time, it made sense to let him play hard and wear him out for bedtime. I didn't realize that this was actually a very bad idea until later, but it was that ignorance that produced one of the best days I had experienced with my son. We played enthusiastically, chasing each other around the lawn and tumbling in the grass. I pushed him "high" on the swings (as high as a toddler swing will go with a future linebacker sitting in it) and helped him climb the slide. He loved for me to catch him at the bottom of the slide. "More!" he would say, wiggling out of my arms and running to the ladder for another slide session.

He seemed to be thrilled by just _living_. Who knew a romp on a swing-set was exactly what Mommy and EJ needed? I was so happy to see that the spark was back in his eye now that Jacob had left the picture.

We both ended up tired and dirty. When it started to sprinkle, I took him inside and gave us both a quick shower. We had played for a good hour—Abby was bound to wake up soon, and Edward would be home and would want dinner on the table, so the word _quick_ was key. He absolutely _loved_ the lukewarm water falling on top of him. It was hard to pull him away, even when the water began to run cold. I finally had to yank him out, which made him begin to wail.

"Shh," I soothed him. "We have to cook dinner for Daddy. Do you want to see Daddy?"

He sniffled and rubbed his face into the shoulder of the terrycloth robe I had wrapped around my damp body. "Yes," he mumbled sleepily, hiding his face away from me.

"Don't put yourself in a bad mood," I begged gently, stroking his wet hair and kissing his neck. "You're doing so well with your new nap schedule."

After I dressed us, I sat him in my lap and combed his long hair. I had once loved his hair, but now it brought back _way _too many memories of Jacob, when my ex-husband had worn his hair to his shoulders. Edward claimed that EJ was beginning to resemble me, but I knew that was really a carbon copy of Jacob Black. They even had the same fingernails—never rounded, but instead they grew in uneven shapes. (Carlisle had once told me this was a genetic trait.) His long hair, down to his jaw, made him resemble Jacob even more.

Not to mention the fact that he looked like a girl, and that made me a little uncomfortable. He always had trucks or puppies or other boy things on his clothes, but what if a stranger thought he was a girl?

"Hey, sheepdog," I teased him. "We're getting a haircut this week. But Mommy isn't touching this beautiful hair. We'll get it cut professionally."

After he was dressed and groomed, Abby started to cry. EJ cheered at the sounds of his sister, making me laugh. I picked him up and carried him to the nursery.

"Abby Hope!" I called, pulling her out of her crib and noisily kissing her belly. "Don't cry, honey. Mommy and EJ are here."

"Daddy," she begged as I changed her diaper.

I glanced at the clock. "He is probably about to be home soon. Let's go cook dinner."

"Mama!" EJ suddenly screeched as I powdered Abby. I looked down to see him reaching for me with tears in his eyes. "Ee-ay up! Ee-ay, too! Ee-ay up!"

I sighed. "You are already getting tired and grumpy, huh? Let me finish with your sister and I'll hold you."

I put Abby on her feet and picked him up. Immediately, he let his head take its special place on my shoulder—he was ready to sleep. I knew if I held him while I cooked, he would be out like a light, and this whole exercise of skipping naps would be pointless.

"Come on, Abs," I told my little girl, taking her hand that was still warm from her nap. "You have to keep your brother awake."

I decided to make sub sandwiches since Edward would be home very soon. I spread a blanket on the kitchen floor and dropped some of their favorite toys and books on it. EJ, so used to his afternoon nap, looked like he was ready to conk out.

I realized then my mistake: I shouldn't have made him play hard, because we still had a couple of hours until bedtime. He was going to be very, very cranky until then. I should have just kept things low-key, with swinging instead of running, or even arts and crafts at the kitchen table.

"Hey, EJ, do you want to color Mommy a picture?"

"No!"

"Yes!" Abby piped up hopefully.

I smiled and went to my art supply cabinet to find some coloring books and crayons. Abby clapped when I brought them the craft supplies. EJ reached for me, whining.

"Mommy is busy, love," I said softly, spreading out a book before him. "Color Daddy a pretty picture he can put in his office at work."

"No!" he replied. "Mama!"

I squatted down and started coloring a picture of a dog. "Look, a brown dog," I said in my clear "educational" tone, still remaining cheerful-sounding. My bugs were learning their colors, and I was always trying to point the colors out to them. "Can you finish coloring Mommy's brown dog?"

He begrudgingly picked up a green crayon and scribbled across the entire page. "So pretty," I enthused, kissing his forehead. "What color is that?"

"Green," he muttered.

"Such a big boy." I turned to Abby and kissed her cheek. "Ooh, Abby, such a pretty flower. What color is it?"

"Pink," she gloated.

I giggled. "That's purple, silly goose."

She gave the crayon a look of horror. My little drama queen. "Puh-ple?"

"This is pink." I handed her the appropriate crayon.

"Pink!" she gasped, grabbing the crayon from me. She immediately started to try to cover up the purple marks she had left. "Pink, pink, pink, pink…"

"Red might work better," I suggested, but she shook her head.

"Pink, Mama," she insisted, making a huge pink splotch.

"Pink, then," I agreed. "What color is your shirt, Abby?"

"Pink," she smiled, tugging on her shirt so she could look at it.

"That's right. What is on your shirt?"

"Cat…pink cat."

"That's a blue cat," I explained.

She stared at it before looking up at me with sad eyes. "Pink cat? Please?"

"I've created a pink monster," I groaned to myself. "Sorry, kiddo…it's a pretty cat, though. What does the cat say?"

"Meow!" she imitated. We had also been working on animal sounds.

"Very good!" This age group never ceased to amaze me. They were like sponges—just soaking up information. I kissed her again and jumped up to finish making the subs. Abby chattered lightly, and I could occasionally make out words—mostly names of her family members, but also _cat, dog, wa-wa_ (water), _book, up, down, out, swing, cookie, _and of course, _pink_—among others. I couldn't make sense of her words, but I did notice that _up_ and _down _always went together, and so did food names, and animals.

EJ, who had just as large of a vocabulary as his sister, was only making noises of frustration. He was not a happy camper. He was sleepy and wasn't allowed to nap, and he couldn't understand why.

I was slicing tomatoes when I heard a scream. "Abby! _Mine!_"

"Mine, EJ!"

I turned just in time to see my son smack my daughter's arm. Abby jerked back and let out an ear-piercing screech.

"Whoa, stop it!" I exclaimed, pulling EJ to his feet. "Do _not _hit, Edward Jacob. Do you understand me? That is a _no-no_."

He started crying at the word _no-no_—while _big boy_ was the highest praise, _no-no_ was the worst insult. I swatted his diaper and started to take him to the nursery for time-out in his crib, but then I realized that he would just go to sleep in his comfortable bed. So I put him in the corner of the kitchen. "Stay there for time-out," I instructed him. "Don't move."

"No, Mama!" he begged.

"We do not hit," I said simply.

I _hated _punishing my children. I always felt like a terrible mother, even though I knew that healthy discipline was an act of love. My heart hurt, but while he cried, I ignored him and tended to Abby. "Come here, sweet love," I murmured to her as I collected her in my arms. "Let Mommy love it."

Tears flowing, she held her arm out to me. I tenderly kissed it. "You're okay. You're a big girl."

"I love you, Mama," she mumbled.

"Mama loves you, too," I smiled at her, putting her on my hip. I held her while I finished making the sandwiches and while EJ cried from the corner.

"What's going on with EJ?" a beloved voice suddenly asked behind me.

"He hit Abby, so he is in time-out," I explained, turning to face Edward. "You can get him out. It's been long enough."

My love winced. "I take it the new nap schedule isn't working?"

"We're…attempting," I sighed.

"Come here, son," Edward said, holding his arms out to EJ. The little boy ran to his daddy.

While I set the table, Edward talked quietly but firmly to EJ about how hitting was bad and could "give Abby boo-boos." When he finished talking, he pointed to Abby. "Say sorry to Abby and give her a hug."

EJ reluctantly walked to his sister. "Sowwy, Abby," he pouted, hugging her for about half a second.

"Now hug Mommy," he instructed.

EJ came and wrapped himself around my legs before letting out a grunt of anger and running into the living room.

"Leave him be," I sighed to Edward. "As soon as the bread finishes toasting in the oven, we're ready to eat and he can come back to the kitchen."

Edward gave me a sympathetic look, pouting his lip. "You're too beautiful to be this tired. You don't have to have dinner ready for me at five, you know."

"I know, but I like to have it done," I replied.

"I feel bad that you think I expect this."

"I know you don't expect it—"

"You know what?" he interrupted me. "We're going to start this homecoming over. EJ will be happy and you won't be chopping food, so I can greet my girlfriend like the princess she is. I'll be right back."

I gave Abby a funny look as he ran back into the hallway and through the front door. Thirty seconds later, he came back into the house. "Honey, I'm home!" he called in a very cheesy voice.

I started laughing as he entered the kitchen. In his hands was a bouquet of gorgeous flowers. "Wow!" I said, matching his corny tone.

"Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl," he murmured, coming to hug me. I took the bouquet and laid it on the counter before wrapping my arms around him.

"Hello, handsome," I grinned at him, accepting his kiss. "I think I like this homecoming better, too."

"Me, too." He kissed me a little more deeply. "I thought you could use a pick-me-up, since you didn't seem to be convinced by Dr. Castel's rather justified compliments."

"They're gorgeous," I nodded, putting my hands on his cheeks. "What color are the flowers, Abby?"

"Pink," she replied.

"White," I corrected. "Uh, Edward, how did you just magically produce them?"

"I heard EJ crying at the door, so I left them on the porch for when I fixed things."

"You're so thoughtful."

He smiled and squeezed me tight.

"Hungry?" I asked lightly.

"Starving," he confessed.

_That _was why I always had dinner ready, but I kept that thought to myself.

He went to corral EJ back into the kitchen. Once the bread was toasted, I made his sub for him with turkey, Swiss, lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, and mustard. I knew exactly what he liked. I made my own sandwich, and then I made little bitty ham and cheese sandwiches for the bugs, cut into triangles. I set the plates on the tables just as he came into the living room, EJ on his shoulders.

"Mmm, I love a woman who can make a sandwich," he purred, putting our son into the high chair.

"I'm going to ignore the possible misogynistic connotations of that statement only so I can tell you that you have to brush your teeth after you eat the onions," I teased him as I seated Abby in her high chair. I put the sandwiches and celery sticks on their trays before sitting in the seat next to Edward.

"Mama, night-night time," EJ requested as we started to eat, with Edward seemingly enjoying his sub.

"You can sleep after you eat," I promised him. "Whoops, I forgot drinks. Edward, what would you like?"

"I made lemonade last night," he replied. "That sounds pretty good."

"Great." I pulled the lemonade out and poured two adult glasses, and then I made two sippy cups of water.

"Mama, no wa-wa. Ju-ju," Abby complained once she tasted it.

"Tell me about your day," I begged Edward after I sat back down, resting my feet in his lap. "I've been surrounded by toddlers."

He shrugged. "I reviewed some affidavits and played darts with Mike."

"How many passes did Jessica make at you?" I asked only half-jokingly.

He rolled his eyes. "Not as often as Mike asked about you. How was your day after I dropped you off? I mean, tell me about the nap thing."

"I know I made one mistake, because I tried to immediately wear him out, and obviously he is now grumpy. Tomorrow I'll keep things quiet."

Our eyes drifted to EJ, who was glowering at his sandwich. "EJ, baby, you have to eat," I told him, patting his hand. "Mommy will rock you when you finish your sandwich."

"Please," he whimpered, reaching for me.

"Eat, my love," I replied, ignoring his attempts.

He started to cry.

I sighed and stood up to pull him out of the high chair. I brought his food to my seat and let him sit in my lap. He sagged against me, hiding his face in my shirt. "I know you're sleepy," I murmured, kissing his hair. "If you eat your sandwich, we can go night-night."

"No num-nums!"

Edward softly stroked our son's hair. "He's about to pass out."

"I know."

"Pass out," EJ suddenly mimicked Edward. "EJ pass out."

My boyfriend and I stared at each other for a second before we started to laugh. "You are silly," I told EJ. "But you still have to eat." I ripped off a bite of his sandwich and put it to his lips. "Eat, honey."

He didn't cooperate, so I shoved the bite into his mouth. "Chew and swallow, EJ."

He chewed it slowly, but thought better of it and spat it out, right onto my plate.

"You're acting like a baby!" I reprimanded, popping his hand gently. "You have to eat, EJ."

"No!" he shouted, hitting the table with his fist.

"Fine," I snapped. "If you are going to act like a baby, you will be treated like a baby. Edward, can you get me some of that applesauce? There are little individual cups in the fridge."

"Bella, if he doesn't want to eat—"

"He will wake up hungry and the point is for him to sleep through the night. Applesauce, please."

Edward sighed and brought me a cup of applesauce with a spoon. I peeled the foil back and scooped up a dollop of the snack, popping it into EJ's mouth. He took the hint and slowly sucked it down, but then started to cry as soon as the spoon left his mouth. There was no pleasing him.

My patience was wearing thin.

Finally, after the third bite, he spat his food out again, all over his shirt.

"EJ!" I nearly shouted. "You're acting like you're half your age! Stop!"

"No…more…" he gasped between sobs.

"Fine," I sighed, standing up. "Edward, will you clean Abby up once you're finished eating? She had a really long nap and it will probably be a while before she is ready to go to bed."

"Of course," Edward said. "If you need me, call me, okay?"

EJ tearfully hid his sticky face in my neck as I carried him to the nursery. He cried in earnest as I washed him up with a baby wipe and changed him into pajamas. I sat down in the rocking chair, but he immediately pushed me away. "No, Mama. Where's Daddy?"

He was either so tired he wasn't even sleepy anymore, or he simply wasn't going to cooperate with anything I did because he was angry with me.

I let out an exhausted breath. _Stay calm, Bella._ "You want Daddy?" I asked him. "Fine. Go get Daddy." I put him on the carpet. He ran, screaming, to Edward.

"Put him to bed," I said sourly to my boyfriend after I had followed EJ to the kitchen. "He doesn't want me."

Edward gave me a pair of sad green eyes. "Bella, he loves—"

"Put him to bed," I cut him off. "I have zero patience right now. If he comes with me, he is just going to end up in the crib, crying himself to sleep."

He nodded silently and lifted our son up. "I have to go get some things from my house—clothes for this weekend, a new razor, etcetera. I'll put him to sleep over there, where it's quiet and so you can have some peace."

Edward bent to give me a kiss, but I turned my face. I wasn't in the mood. Fortunately, he seemed to understand, and left without a word. He did sigh, though, and dragged his feet as he walked to the door.

I was pretty annoyed at the situation at hand. I knew that EJ was going to be grumpy, but I didn't expect him to want Edward instead of me. While Edward had been there for the entirety of their lives, they always relied on _me_. It wasn't easy to relinquish part of that important position. I had been a single parent for so long, even when Jacob was living under this roof. I felt like I was giving up some of my control over my entire situation. That was scary as hell.

I decided I needed some maternal advice, so I sent the only parent extraordinaire I knew a text message:

_EJ is pretty angry with me because I punished him for hitting Abby. He has decided that he is only Edward's son tonight. Is that normal? Should I worry?_

She replied almost instantly:

_Mmm, the terrible twos are on their way. EJ will come around before the night is out. Emmett, Alice, and Edward both ran to Carlisle all the time when I served as the disciplinarian, and vice-versa. Don't worry, sweetie. Children are naturally manipulative…they're human, too._

Esme Cullen _would _be that practical about it. I replied with:

_My feelings are still hurt, though._

_ Children also hurt your feelings until you die. Alice told me today that I'm rude and inconsiderate because I don't like the china she picked out. Sometimes mamas are punching bags. But honey, don't look at parenting with your partner as a competition. Parenting always goes like this: you will both fall out of favor with the kids and you will both have to make up for each other's shortcomings. Don't let the fair-weather opinions of a toddler—or a twenty-nine-year-old—strain your relationship with your partner._

I smiled as I thought of Edward in all his twenty-nine-year-old glory making Carlisle and Esme fight. I couldn't picture it at all. But still, I immediately felt chastised, but in a very good way. Leave it to Esme to convict me of my shallowness. I sent back:

_Ugh, you're right._

_ Of course I am, lovey. Your fragile heart will always be at EJ and Abby's mercy, but it's your job to let Edward lift you up, even if it is just becoming the temporary favorite parent. And in turn, lift him up._

_ Thanks, Mom. _I tacked a smiley face to the end of that one. She sent back an _I love you_. After I sufficiently replied, I pulled Abby up into my arms. She was still being a good girl, just staying quiet, probably shocked at her normally well-behaved twin brother. "Abby, do you want to hang out while EJ calms down?"

She let out a grunt and wiggled away from me. I put her back on her feet and she ran to the living room. I followed her and watched her try to stretch on her toes to reach the buttons on the TV.

"Alright," I conceded. "We can watch some cartoons. Just a little, though. I found the remote and turned on Nick Jr. We settled on the couch and watched _The Upside Down Show. _It was actually kind of entertaining. Abby giggled as she laid on top of me, snuggling her head into my neck. She liked the silliness of this show.

After an episode went off, the front door opened. Immediately EJ ran to me, screaming and stomping his feet, while Edward followed tiredly. "Mama!" EJ begged, reaching for me.

I moved Abby and scooped EJ up, looking at Edward questioningly. He sighed and shrugged. "He wants his mama, love. He cried for you the whole time."

I sighed. "He's _playing _us, Edward. Manipulating. If he can go between Mommy and Daddy, he can be coddled and loved on without being disciplined."

"He needs his natural nurturer."

I sighed again and moved my son's tear streaked face from my shoulder. "Tell Daddy night-night, EJ. We're going to bed."

He pawed at his eyes. "Night-night," he whispered, his voice hoarse from all the crying and screaming.

"Good night, my love," Edward murmured, kissing his cheeks. "Love you."

"Lub oo." He hid his face in my blouse again.

I carried him to the nursery, grabbed his blanket, and turned the light off. He cried, soaking my shirt, as I started to rock him. I bundled him up and held him to my breast. "Shh, love," I sang softly. "Mommy is right here."

"Book," he begged.

"No. We're going night-night."

"Abby?"

"No."

"Ball."

I let out a short breath. I knew what he was doing. He was tired beyond the point of being sleepy. He was being stubborn because he was so grumpy. I inhaled deeply and said, "No, EJ. Night-night time."

"Baba!" he suddenly shouted in a fit of excitement, like he just knew I was going to give it to him.

"No," I said again. "Close your eyes."

"No," he argued. "Baba? _Please?_"

"You did not eat your dinner," I reminded him. "No baba."

He made a noise of displeasure before he tried to use his little fists to push away from me.

"Come back here," I said, lightly popping his hand.

He screamed at the top of his lungs, like I had just punched him in the face, and tried to jam his fingers in his mouth.

"Edward Jacob Black," I scolded. "We do not suck our fingers. Between the bottle and the fingers, I already owe some orthodontist a huge bill, kid."

"Go," he said, trying to push me away again.

"You want me to go? Fine. You're going night-night without Mommy." I walked to the crib. "No snuggles, no lullaby, no rocking."

"No!" he screamed in horror, locking his arms around my neck. "Please, Mama!"

"Then it's time to be quiet." I took him to the changing table and worked at swaddling him in his fuzzy blanket. It was hard, because he was so big and was squirming so much, but I managed to do it. I propped him up on my chest and began to sing as I rocked him.

He whimpered and cried, but I held firm, cuddling and singing between kisses. He was truly driving me crazy, but oddly enough, it was comforting to me to be able to comfort him. I had irrationally felt rejected when he chose Edward over me, but now that he was here in my arms, I felt much better.

He finally stopped crying to listen to me sing. I could tell he was calming down and wearing himself out. We rocked until he finally drifted off to that little baby dreamland where their eyes are slanted and they still twitch and gurgle. I hummed as I carefully un-tucked the swaddling from his body to keep him from overheating. Once his little limbs were free, his hand blindly found my hair and latched on to a curl, just like it always did. My sweet little boy was back, with a lazy smile on his face.

He finally gave me that final sigh that usually signified he was sound asleep. I gently pried his fingers out of my hair and kissed his forehead. "Night-night, sweetheart," I whispered. "Mommy loves you, even if you do scream like a horror movie."

He didn't move as I tucked him into his crib. Making sure he was comfortable and warm, I lingered for a few minutes. There were no signs of him waking up any time soon. "Thank God," I whispered, ruffling his hair and smoothing it out of his eyes. "Maybe we're on our way to normalcy."

I slipped out of the nursery, leaving the door cracked in case he started to cry. Abby and Edward looked up at me expectantly when I entered the living room. They were busy dressing one of Abby's baby dolls. I smiled at the look of frustration on Edward's face as he tried to pull a dress on the doll.

"Pink, Daddy," Abby corrected him, yanking the orange dress away and thrusting a pink garment to him.

"Yes, ma'am," Edward said obediently. "You're silly."

"He's asleep," I announced quietly, sitting in the floor next to them.

"Is he okay?" Edward asked.

I nodded. "He's wearing a smile on his face, so I guess he's fine. My throat hurts from singing."

"That's the best pain." He gave me a small grin, eyes sparkling.

I smiled sadly. "I'm sorry for being rude earlier."

He leaned over to kiss my cheek, silently telling me I was forgiven. I gave him a grateful smile as he yanked the doll's dress over her shoulders.

"You have to be forceful with it," I explained to him, tugging the dress down roughly. "Wait until she graduates to Barbies. The boobs make things so much worse."

"I can imagine," he snorted, his eyes drifting down to _my_ shirt. "I think boobs make it worth it, though."

I giggled like a schoolgirl and reached for Abby, clapping my hands. "Come here, honey bunch."

She looked up at Edward from his lap, and looked back at me. "No," she decided.

"I know you're playing with Daddy, but don't you want some pudding? The pudding that Nana brought you?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed happily, leaping out of Edward's lap and falling on top of me. I was learning how much rough play toddlers love.

I laughed and stood up. "I'll go get some. Edward, love, do you want some?"

"Yes, please, sweetie."

I made two big bowls of the delicious tapioca pudding that Esme had generously shared with us and poured up some milk. "We're going to share, buggy," I told Abby as I returned to the living room, snacks in hand. "You're such a good eater, but pudding on the couch may be a little challenging for your sweet little fingers."

Edward pulled me down on the couch next to them. I snuggled into his chest as Abby sat on our thighs, sort of straddling both of our laps so she could embrace us both. "Here you go, big girl," I said, spoon-feeding her a bite of the pudding.

"Mmm," she said animatedly, making us laugh.

"Nana can cook," Edward agreed, sampling his own dessert.

I gave Abby her sippy cup of milk. "Did you get everything you needed at your house?" I asked my boyfriend, still feeding Abby.

"Yeah, I just had to get some papers and new razor."

"Don't shave," I pouted.

He rolled his eyes with a smirk. "Sorry, but I'm not going to ask the same of you."

"FYI, I shaved during our morning nap," I retorted, teasingly slapping his cheek with my spoon. "My legs _and _various other places. So I don't want to hear any complaining tonight."

Obviously feeling a bit fresh, he pulled my long cotton skirt up to peek under.

"Mama!" Abby shouted, catching my attention again.

Edward laughed and kissed my thigh before pulling my skirt back down. "Bella, stop misbehaving and feed our daughter."

He knew exactly what I found sexy—and the fact that he had just referred to Abby as _our_ child was extremely sexy. "_I_ don't have _my_ face in your pants," I said, elbowing him and trying not to turn into goo. "No silky smooth legs for Edward tonight." I gave Abby another bite, making her happy again.

"That's not fair," he replied sadly. "You _know_ I love those legs."

"Abby, tell Daddy's he's being bad. Say, 'Stop, Daddy!'"

"Stop, Daddy!" she repeated, giggling. "Stop! Stop!"

He leaned over and gave her a noisy kiss. "You're being goofy. Your mommy will forgive me fairly quickly."

"What makes you so sure of that?" I asked him, licking the pudding off the spoon.

"I have my ways." He pressed a kiss to the sweet spot under my ear.

I was enjoying this playful banter a lot. I popped a spoonful of pudding into his mouth. "Just hush, Mr. Conceited. You'll find your cute little butt on the couch tonight."

"Psht, I'll go to _my_ house before I go to the doghouse. Abby, stop!"

I turned to see my daughter trying to shove her sippy cup spout up her nose. "No!" I exclaimed, pulling it away. "Didn't you learn your lesson from the pea?"

She started to whimper and sniffle. "Milky," she requested pathetically.

"The cup is dirty now," I sighed. "You've had enough sugar, anyway. It's time to settle down."

"Milky!"

"We'll get wa-wa," Edward replied. "Let's read a story." He took the dishes into the kitchen.

I kissed Abby's black hair. "I know you took an extra-long nap and you're not sleepy, but it's time to start our routine. I can't screw up your schedule, too." I stood up and carried her to the nursery. Silently, I put her in a clean diaper and pajamas. I was pleased to see that EJ was still sleeping peacefully. When I returned to the living room, Edward had a sippy cup of water and a big book waiting for us. God, this man amazed me. Every. Single. Day.

I bent over the couch, Abby on my hip, and kissed him.

"I knew you'd come around," he winked at me. "Come let me read to my girls."

We spent the next half-hour in Edward's arms as he pursued his new favorite activity—reading children's books. Abby sat in his lap, her back resting against his torso, quietly sipping his water. I was ducked into his side, his strong arm wrapped around me. The book he selected was the type with different interactive mediums—textures to feel, noises to hear, pictures to find, even zippers to close. He guided Abby's fingers over the fun parts of the book, his hypnotic voice lulling her into drowsy contentment as he read the story. _Do you feel the duck's feathers? Do you hear the duck's quack? Can you unzip the duck's rain jacket? _She was completely enthralled with the book, but I was distracted by _him._ He would occasionally sprinkle kisses in my hair and on my face, never missing a beat with his reading.

I didn't realize I had dozed off until I felt him carry me to our bed. "Put me down," I complained, weakly swatting at him.

"Go back to sleep, love."

Oddly enough, I wasn't tired. I wanted to enjoy the fact that the kids were asleep and Edward didn't have to wake up early for work. I let him put me in bed, but I sat up and waited for him as he undressed himself and brushed his teeth. Meanwhile, I shucked my skirt and shirt.

"Bella," he said softly as he crawled into bed next to me in only his boxers. "It's night-night time, baby girl. Am I going to have to read you a bedtime story?"

I rolled my eyes at his goofiness, but I decided to challenge him. "Yes," I immediately said. "With touching and noises and visuals…and zippers."

The crooked smile I lived for flashed across his face. "I don't have on anything you can unzip…and neither do you." His eyes raked over my body, clad in only a bra and panties.

"Elastic works, too," I said, fingering the waistband of his boxers. "As long as I can stretch it…and pull it down. Please tell me a story?" I pouted my lip and batted my eyelashes like Abby.

"Oh, fine," he rolled his eyes, pretending to be irritated. He wrapped his arms around me and took my hand, spreading my fingers so he could manipulate them. "Hmm…what do you want the story to be about?"

"Use your imagination," I replied.

He sighed and absentmindedly pressed a kiss to my temple. "Hmm, let's see. Once upon a time, there was a man named…Anthony."

"Cute," I snorted at the use of his middle name.

"Shh. Anthony was a very lonely man. He lived in a big city called Chicago but had no one to live with. Lonely and a little desperate, he moved to a little town called Forks to be close to his family. And he met a woman named…Marie."

He moved my hand to rest over his heart, where I could feel it beating. "The first time he saw Marie, his heart started to pound, just like this." He grinned at me. "Do you feel Anthony's heart race?"

His heart was indeed racing under the thin membrane of his skin. It was _my _touch that made it do that. That thought alone boggled my mind. It was simply amazing. "Yes," I whispered.

"But they soon learned that if Anthony was going to love Marie, he had to love two other people as well: her children. Anthony didn't think this was a problem. He loved Bel—Marie—enough to love anything she had to offer him." He traced our hands down to my flat stomach. "And she gave Anthony the greatest blessings in the world—their children."

He bit his lip, obviously debating what to say next. "Uh…but then the unthinkable happened: Marie had to give her heart to someone else." He moved my hand back to his heart, and then let me touch my own heart. "It nearly killed Anthony, but in the end, everything worked out, and they were back together again." Edward linked our fingers together and kissed my hand. "And now Anthony is the happiest man in the world…feel his smile?"

I giggled as he used my fingertips to trace the curve of his lips, and I slid my finger into his mouth. He lightly sucked on it before leaving a loud, wet kiss on my wrist. He rolled over so he was on top of me and moved his mouth to my ear, still holding my hand. "Marie makes Anthony happy every single day. She's the only person who can find that ultra-sensitive spot on his neck…" He moved my fingers to his pulse point. "And she's the only person who can use her nails to drive his strong, muscular back crazy…"

"Okay, now you're just getting conceited," I whispered, kissing his jaw and making him laugh guiltily. Still, I took his little hints, and my lips traveled to his pulse point, where I suckled softly, and my nails scratched a feather-light trail down the skin of his back.

He laughed lightly and let out the sexiest purr I had ever heard. "And Anthony is the only person allowed to do this." He dipped his head down and mouthed my shoulder, his teeth latching on. I let out a little moan as he left a love-bite on me. I had never thought my gentle lawyer boyfriend would ever be a hickey kind of man, but he had left a number of love-bites on my skin. At least he always nibbled at places I could cover up with clothes.

"God, Edward," I hissed, gripping his hair.

He took my fingers and put my fingertips over my shoulder. "Feel the mark, Bella?"

I did indeed feel the slick, hot spot his mouth had just left. "When do we get to the page with the elastic?" I pouted.

"Good things come to those who wait…"

"Shut up and let me skip a few pages."

He took both of my hands and pinned them above my head, kissing me passionately. After a few minutes of our tongues dancing together, he moved my hands down to his waist. I immediately pulled the boxers down, wrapping my legs around his torso to keep him there. I wanted to be the one to undress him, but I didn't want him to leave my touch for a second. It was awkward, but I managed to get him naked.

"What next?" I breathed as my hands explored between us.

"I think there is another page with elastic," he smirked, touching my hips. "But _I_ get to enjoy that one."

_Enjoy_ was quite the understatement.

* * *

Making love to Edward always made my body feel totally relaxed and just plain _adored_, but I was sort of regretting it when EJ woke up crying at three AM. I couldn't complain very much because getting up _once_ during the night was progress. If he had just eaten his dinner, he probably wouldn't have been woken up by a growling tummy. But the fact was: he was awake and Edward was apparently still swimming in post-coital exhaustion. He didn't even stir at our son's cry. I suddenly understood why kids interfered with a couple's sex life. Jacob and I didn't have much of one so I hadn't seen how worn out kids and a healthy libido could make you.

I pulled on my bathrobe and went into the nursery. EJ was still laying in his crib, rubbing his eyes as he cried. That was a good sign—he wasn't up and moving around. "Shh, don't wake Abby," I begged, swiftly pulling him out. I took him to the kitchen and soothingly patted him as the milk heated up. I briefly considered giving him a bottle of water and putting him back in the crib like Dr. Castel had recommended, but I knew my son reacted best to transitions. Plus his crying would only wake Abby up. She had grown used to her brother waking up during the night, but only because he was quickly shushed by Mama or Daddy. It didn't bother her. But if EJ stayed in the nursery and screamed, she would surely be disturbed.

EJ immediately took the bottle and closed his eyes as soon as the milk touched his tongue. "Sleepy boy," I murmured, sitting on the couch. "If I can get you to eat your dinner, you'll sleep through the night."

He was not interested in kisses and didn't react to lullabies, so I just laid down on the couch and dozed as he fed. I woke up twenty minutes later with a sleeping son. The rubber nipple was still in his mouth, even though the bottle was empty. I quickly pulled it out and checked his breathing, paranoid that I had somehow smothered him. He was fine, his breathing calm and even.

"We should make it that easy every night, my love," I whispered, giving him the kiss that came automatically from a mother. I left the bottle in the sink, too tired to wash it, and went to tuck him in.

To my surprise, Abby's blanket and the stuffed wolf Emmett had given her were on the floor. I was puzzled, but grateful that she had thrown out items rather than her _body_. I shuddered at the thought of her falling from the top of the crib. After EJ was warm in his bed, I picked up her mess. I covered her back up with her monogrammed blanket and put the wolf she had named Pup in the corner of her crib. "Silly girl," I chuckled, straightening her body out. She tended to roll around everywhere in her sleep. "Sleep sweet, lovey."

I bit my lip as I walked back to my room. Thoughts and fears were suddenly flowing through my head. What if she woke up again and decided that Pup wasn't the only one who belonged in the floor? Edward had lowered the mattresses of the cribs, but she could be a little monkey…

Sighing, I returned to the nursery and pulled out the baby monitor. I never used it at nighttime anymore. I turned it on and placed it on the dresser closest to Abby's crib.

As soon as I turned its mate on in my room, I crawled into bed with Edward. He sensed the warmth of my body and rolled over to rest his head on the fullness of my chest. I stroked his hair contemplatively as I listened for signs of activity in the nursery. I couldn't stand the thought of Abby tumbling over the crib bars. After a few minutes, I finally gave in and went to the linen closet to grab a few pillows. Maybe I was overreacting, but I placed pillows in the floor around both cribs. If one of them landed on an arm, it would probably still be broken, but at least their heads would be cushioned.

I went to bed for the third time that night. Edward automatically returned to his spot in my arms. I thought he was asleep until he whispered, "I love you, beautiful."

_He's awake?_

"I love you, too," I replied quietly. "Sorry for waking you up."

He suddenly let out a snore. He wasn't awake, after all. He was just so attuned to me that he was even aware of my presence in his sleep. Smiling to myself, I turned my face into his skin and fell asleep to the sweet scent of Edward.

* * *

I woke up to a bright sun and an empty bed. My clock read nine AM. Surprised I had slept this late, I stretched and yawned. I had a day to start, after all.

"There she is," a happy voice said from the door. Edward was there, dressed in a _very_ hot pair of jeans and nothing else. He had two steaming cups of coffee.

"Where are the kids?" I asked him as he came and sat on the bed. I took my mug and blew on the coffee, grinning. He had even put whipped cream and chocolate syrup on top.

"They're still asleep," he said, tenderly brushing my hair out of my face. "I'm going to wake them up fairly soon. Do you want to tell me why it looks like some girls had a sleepover in the nursery?"

He wasn't angry or annoyed; there was humor deep in his eyes. He had probably already guessed what was going on.

"Abby apparently woke up during the night," I explained. "She threw her things out of her crib. I grew paranoid she would try to climb out, so I put the pillows there."

"Did she cry?"

"No. I can't believe she didn't cry when Pup was exiled from the crib. EJ woke up at four, but he went right back to sleep."

"Progress," he murmured.

"I'm just worried that Abby's sleep schedule is changing."

He sipped his coffee thoughtfully. "I think there is a big difference between Abby and EJ. Abby woke up, but she didn't cry. She played around and then put herself back to sleep. She's probably better at self-soothing than EJ is, because she has always been more independent. I'm honestly not surprised. Kids never keep to a sleeping schedule at this age. Don't worry, love."

"I'm still scared she'll fall on her head, though."

"Well…" He paused and then broke out into a proud smile. "Maybe as soon as EJ gets off the bottle and starts sleeping through the night, it will be time for toddler beds."

I choked on my coffee, surprising him and making him spill his own hot coffee on his bare chest. "Hell!" he shouted, grabbing the bed sheet to wipe it off.

"I'm…so…sorry," I coughed, trying to catch my breath.

He cleaned up the mess and patted my back. I finally finished coughing and bent down to kiss his chest. "I am so sorry," I said again.

He snorted. "It was an accident, sweetie. Are _you_ okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Just surprised. Toddler beds?"

He took my coffee from my hands and safely set it on the nightstand. I squealed as he flipped my body over so we were laying together side-by-side, facing each other. He wound our fingers together and kissed my knuckles. "Yes, toddler beds. I think they're old enough for them and at this point, they seem to be safest. They're low to the ground, so it wouldn't hurt as bad if they fell. If it would hurt at all, on that thick carpet."

I twined our legs together and let out a long breath. "Uhm…"

"It's just something to think about, love." He kissed my hands again. "It's your decision."

I stared at him. "I know it's smart, but _toddler beds? _They may be ready, but Mommy is not. They're growing up too fast."

"They'll still be warm, comfortable, and they'll be safer. Hey." He leaned in and pecked my lips. "It's your house, your nursery, and ultimately, you're the biological mother. It's your decision."

"Why are you so damn logical?" I teased him, kissing him again. "No wonder I love you so much."

"Why _do_ you love me so much?"

I loved the casualness of our relationship so much. Now that I had fully given myself to him—soul and body—our relationship had truly taken a turn for the better. We were more comfortable. More relaxed. More natural. We did have awkward moments—like when he would absentmindedly play with my ring finger on my left hand, or when I would be reminded of Jacob. But we were growing in leaps and bounds.

"Because…" I pressed a kiss to his mouth, and continued to do so between words. "You read me stories…" _Kiss. _"And put whipped cream on my coffee…"_ Kiss._ "And you don't get mad when I make you spill hot coffee on yourself." _Kiss._ My lips moved to his stubbly jaw. "And you don't shave."

He laughed. "As soon as I get up, I'm shaving. We'll probably see Mom and Dad this weekend, and you know that she'll have a fit if I'm not well-groomed. Sorry, pretty girl."

"Killjoy. Don't you know your girlfriend loves you scruffy?"

"_You, _darling, are the only woman in the world who thinks I look good scruffy, with my stray red hairs. Don't give me that look, young lady."

I giggled and rolled away from him. "Thanks for the coffee, by the way."

"You're very welcome, love."

"We have to get the kids up. Be right back." I grabbed my phone, seeing I had a missed call, and went to the bathroom. While I was using the potty, my eyes landed on Edward's new razor on the sink. After I finished, I smirked rather deviously and grabbed the razor. I put the little plastic cover on the blade and dropped it in my makeup bag, zipping it closed.

After my mission was executed, I picked up my phone and scrolled to my missed calls. The name I saw there made me freeze.

Jacob had called me thirty minutes ago, while I was asleep—and he had left a voicemail. Nervously, I called my voicemail and held my breath as I listened to the message.

"Hey, Bella, it's me. Fort Sam Houston has a spot open for me at the veteran's hospital where I can receive physical therapy and any correctional operations I may need down the road. I have to leave in the next few days, so I was wondering if I could come over and pick up my shoe polish kit. I think I left it in the bathroom. I'll catch hell if my boots look like shit when I arrive at Houston. Call me back and let me know. Thanks."

* * *

_Don't kill me. Jacob is seriously about to go on his merry way. Just be patient._

_You know those stupid commercials that say "Life comes at you fast"? Yeah. I had no idea how fast. My father has been diagnosed with a very serious medical condition on top of everything else we're going through. I won't be able to respond to reviews and PMs as often because I will be at the hospital/doctor's office/bedside a lot for him. I'll just put it this way: chemotherapy is going to make me re-plan everything. Yeah...what else have you got for me, life? Anyway, I'll be relying on my phone for communication with you guys. Since this website takes forever to load on my phone, I did the next best thing and started a Twitter account. (My old one is no longer being used.) You'll be able to talk to me there, because instead of waiting on a huge bandwidth to load, I can just use the Twitter application on the phone. Follow me: sarahcullen17ff. Pretty easy to remember-my pen name, and then "ff" for fanfiction. I will Tweet about when my stories will be updated and I might even find the time to throw a few teasers in there. Plus I'll actually be able to give reasons why I'm taking forever in updating, and hopefully you'll have a better understanding and won't want to murder me, as I've been threatened. I obviously have the best readers, since they threaten my life over my stories. And I will respond to every Tweet anyone sends my way. It's just so much faster. My Twitter is currently pretty lonely, aside from a few other ff writers...oh, and Charlie Sheen's crazy Tweets...but I would love to hear from you guys.  
_

_If you don't like Twitter (it's okay, I don't, either) and you don't want to sign up for anything, just hop on over to my Formspring to ask questions or leave comments. The link is on my profile._

_On a much lighter note, has anyone else seen the leaked "Breaking Dawn" sex pictures? I. Am. So. Excited._

_Anyway. T-rated fiction. I hope you enjoyed the bugs. Most of you seem to really like them. __My usual "trivia" about this chapter: a lot of this was inspired by my little sister. Especially Abby's obsession with pink. It took me forever to teach little sis that not every color is called pink, and that it's okay to wear clothes that aren't pink. Oh, and that it's not okay to use a pink crayon on the family pet. Not only does it not work on a white cat, but it just causes some boo-boos once the cat is angered. Oh, and I think I rather liked Bella and Edward in this one. Since they got their freak on, they seem to be much lighter, eh? We'll have more insight into that once Edward's POV rolls around. I mostly wanted to focus on the bugs with this one.  
_

_Speaking of, Bella's POV is next-goodbye Jacob, hello toddler beds-and then Jacob's, and then probably Edward's. _

_I think that covers it for now. Until next time..._

_REVIEW! Don't let my lack of FF time keep you from reviewing. I can read the reviews in my email, and I cherish each and every one. Your kind words and constructive criticism are so encouraging in everything-not just writing. It's awesome to know I have friends from all over. Please continue to pray for my family and especially my daddy. We have a tough road ahead of us.  
_


	17. The Next Stage

**Aren't you glad I'm procrastinating studying like crazy?**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: "The Next Stage" Bella's POV  
**

"The solution is rather simple," Edward said matter-of-factly as he cut up a banana into small slices for the bugs' cereal. "You take the kids out of the house—to the beach or to my parents' house or something—and I give Jacob the shoe polish."

I stared at him incredulously. "Love, that is _not _going to happen. Not only will it anger him, but he needs to realize that I am a big girl and I can solve my own problems. Maybe _you_ need to realize that."

He dropped the banana and looked up at me with sad eyes. "I do realize that. But I don't want the kids around him. I could take the kids out, but that would leave you alone with him. I don't trust him enough for that."

"He won't hurt me."

"Yet you're worried about me angering him?"

I sighed. "Edward, _trust _me."

"I do trust you, sweetie. It's _him_ I don't trust."

"Daddy," EJ interrupted, grabbing Edward's nose. "Num-nums?"

"Yes, little man." Edward slipped a piece of banana into our son's mouth and resumed his slicing. "I'll just take them to the backyard while Jacob is here. Easy enough?"

"Sure," I said, not wanting to argue. There was no point in it, anyway. It was a good solution.

"Hey." His velvety voice caught my attention. I glanced away from my bowl of Cheerios and looked at him. He blew me a kiss across the table. "You are too precious to me. I can't take risks like that. Okay?"

I gave him a tiny smile. "I know. Hand me some of those bananas."

I dropped a few banana slices into my cereal and fed Abby the rest of my mostly-untouched breakfast. She didn't like to be spoon-fed—she wanted to do it herself—but I couldn't quite trust her with it yet. I didn't want milk and soggy "O's" all over the kitchen. Still, hunger overruled tenacity, so she wolfed the cereal down. EJ, meanwhile, was a happy camper again, trying to climb all over Edward while he munched on his own O's.

"You are one silly little guy," Edward commented lightly as he wrestled with him. "I let you out of the high chair for one meal and you're all over the place."

"He's all boy," I agreed absentmindedly, scrolling through the menu on my cell phone. I quickly sent Jacob a text message telling him to come by before lunchtime.

"Are you okay?"

"Mmmhmm." After I sent the text message, I sighed and gave Abby another bite. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I think I'm ready for more changes than just a change in men," I decided aloud, wiping some dribbles of milk off my baby's chin. "Why don't we go furniture shopping today?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "For…?"

"Toddler beds. It's time for them to grow up. It's time for us to move onto the next stage of our life. They can't stay infants forever."

Edward gave me a dazzling smile. "Alright. I'm game. As soon as he picks up the shoe polish, we can leave. Port Angeles or Seattle?"

I swallowed hard. Seattle was still a sore memory for me—we had been up in Seattle when I had received that phone call from the US Army. But I knew I couldn't avoid the city forever. And besides, we weren't going to be bridesmaids dress shopping or staying in a hotel. It wasn't going to be the same trip at all. I had to look forward to my future, but in order to do that, I had to face my past. So I looked up at Edward and said determinedly, "I think Seattle will have the better selection. Don't you?"

He leaned over the table and kissed my nose. "I'll call my mom and find out what furniture stores in Seattle she recommends."

"Perfect," I agreed.

We finished feeding our babies and then he took them to the bathroom for baths and to brush their teeth. I made myself somewhat presentable for Jacob and then picked up the living room a bit. The bugs were so active, always running around and playing. I was going to have to teach them out to put up their toys. I was nervous about seeing Jacob, but only because I was worried about the awkwardness. We hadn't communicated much since the divorce was finalized. How would we act around each other?

Finally, I pulled the shoe polish out and just sat at the kitchen table. In typical Jacob fashion, his promptness left a lot to be desired. We put the bugs down for their morning naps, which they happily took despite the sleeping problems we had experienced the day before. Edward waited with me, searching for directions to various furniture stores on MapQuest.

Right before noon, Sam Uley's car pulled up. Why was I even surprised anymore?

Edward looked up as he heard the car door slam and gave me an encouraging smile. "I'll disappear now. I know you need to handle this by yourself. I'll be in the bedroom."

"Thanks," I mumbled, accepting his kiss and watching him as he took his laptop to the back of the house. I grabbed the shoe polish and went to the front door as Jacob hobbled up the steps on crutches. Sam was, thankfully, waiting in the car.

"Hey," I greeted him. "You're looking better."

"Physical therapy is going to be hell," he sighed. "Where are the twins?"

"I put them down for a nap," I explained. "We're going to Seattle as soon as they wake up."

"Where's Edward? His car is in the driveway. I figured he would be hovering over you."

I tried not to roll my eyes. I really needed to remain cordial, just for the sake of maintaining my dignity. "Edward doesn't hover. And he is in the house, working on his computer."

"Ah. Can I…come in for a second?"

I bit my lip. "Sure."

He followed me into the kitchen. "Do you want some juice or something?" I offered.

"Water would be great. And Tylenol, if you have it. Which you always do, because you tend to be accident prone."

I snorted. "Of course I have it. I can't live without it. What's up?"

He shrugged as I found the Tylenol and fetched a glass of water. "I'm leaving Monday."

"I bet you're excited."

"Yeah, I am. Look, I know that you were basically taking care of Billy while I was in Iraq. I don't expect you to do that anymore. I've hired a home health organization to send nurses to tend to him and take care of him. I just need to make sure that he is fed and receives his insulin and is able to move about the house in his wheelchair. He will rarely ever be alone…"

"That's good," I approved, sitting across from him at the table. "How is he doing? I haven't seen him in forever."

"He's alright. _Still_ pissed off at me, but what else can I expect?"

I shrugged, allowing that. "He's probably mad at me, too."

"Nah. He loves you."

"He loves, you too."

Jacob shrugged yet again. "Do you want me to ask one of my buddies to check on _you_?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, a little stunned. "Jacob, I'm well taken care of," I replied quietly, a little offended. "I'm not alone."

"I know you're not…"

"I have my boyfriend, my dad, and my boyfriend's entire family," I continued. "And even if I didn't have all of these people, I would still be very capable of caring for myself and my children. So_ don't _worry about me!"

"Calm down," he whispered. "I didn't mean to insult you."

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know. Do you need anything else besides the shoe polish?"

"No, that's it."

"You should probably go, then. I have to get ready for Seattle. We're furniture shopping."

He chuckled harshly. "Already nesting, huh?"

"No. EJ and Abigail are too big for their cribs—"

"Whatever, Bella. You don't have to defend yourself. I don't blame you. I was a jackass and I know it. You deserve way better than me. I'm not sure if Edward Cullen deserves _you_…you're much too good for him…but then again, what man does deserve you?"

My stomach turned at his words. "You need to leave, Jacob," I mumbled. "It's not your place to worry about me or to comment about my _nest_, anyway."

"Okay," he said, standing up and taking the shoe polish. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't want to leave on this note."

"I harbor no hard feelings toward you," I replied, "so you are leaving on a very happy note. I'm just really busy today."

"Fine." He walked over to me and swiftly bent down to kiss the top of my head. "Like I've said before…it was good while it lasted. I'm sorry it didn't work out. But as it turns out, civilian life just doesn't work out for some."

"Yep." I stood up and walked behind him as he slowly made it to the door. "I hope Sam Houston works out really well. I know you'll love it."

"Are they big?" he suddenly asked me, stopping on the porch.

"What?"

"EJ and Abby. They must be big, if they've outgrown their cribs."

I unintentionally let a smile touch my face. "Yeah, they're big. They can still sleep in their cribs, but they climb out of them. It's time for big kid beds."

"Wow. That's crazy. You're a good mom, Bells."

"Thank you," I whispered quietly. It was the best compliment he had ever paid me…and believe it or not, there had once been a _lot _of compliments.

"I'll see you around." He walked to the car.

"See ya." I went back in the house, not wanting to watch him leave. He would just take that as some kind of sign that I was hanging on to him—and trust me, I wasn't.

I walked to the bedroom, where Edward was stretched out on his stomach on the bed, still using his computer. I crawled on top of him, using him as my body pillow, and kissed his cheek.

He gave me a small smile. "Is he gone?"

"Yep. It was amazingly anticlimactic."

"That's what I like to hear."

I ran my fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. "He leaves Monday."

"That's also what I like to hear," Edward replied, closing his eyes and grinning at my touch. "Mmm, I love that."

"I know you do," I said with a laugh, kissing his ear. "I'm kind of obsessed with your hair. Did you know that?"

"I had a sinking suspicion. I'm glad I found a woman who likes gingers," he purred. "So, do you want to elope on Monday?"

I rolled my eyes and smacked his shoulder. "Shut up before I put that mouth to better use."

"That just makes me want to speak more." He shoved the computer out of the way and rolled over so he was suddenly on top of me.

And suddenly, we were both putting our mouths to better use.

* * *

"Can you say 'bed'?" Edward asked EJ as we walked through the doors of the mind-boggling furniture superstore later that day. I had never seen so many different styles of couches and recliners. If Edward didn't control my credit card, I was going to be in serious trouble.

_Maybe Jacob is right. Maybe I do want to nest._

"No," EJ giggled.

"You don't even want to try?"

"No, Daddy."

I squeezed Edward's hand. "Is there a difference between a toddler bed and a regular twin bed?"

"Yeah, Mom said that the toddler bed is safer because it's lower to the ground. And it uses the same mattress as a crib, so it's cheaper."

"But wouldn't they just outgrow it pretty soon?"

"Good point," he shrugged. "I guess we can ask."

Luckily, a saleswoman walked up to us at that instant. "Can I help you with anything?"

"We're buying big kid beds," I said proudly, not sure if I should limit myself to a toddler bed. "Do you have anything we can look at?"

"Of course! Your children are so adorable!"

"Hi," Abby greeted her with a wave, totally aware that she was being talked about.

I giggled and smoothed my daughter's long hair. "Thank you."

Edward and I walked hand-in-hand, kids in our arms, and followed the saleswoman to the bed department. There was a plethora of tiny little beds, some with rails, some without, and then there were the larger twin beds like the one I had slept on in my dorm. It was quite confusing.

"Umm," Edward said slowly. "We have a few questions."

The woman, Mary, laughed. "Okay, I understand. Do you want a twin or a toddler?"

It took us forever to discuss the merits of both, but finally, Mary proposed the idea: "Why don't we let the kids choose their beds?"

"But they're little," I protested, not understanding her logic.

"You'll get an idea of which one they're more comfortable in."

"I'm game," Edward announced, playfully tossing EJ onto a twin bed. My eyes widened, but when I saw my son laugh and clap his hands, I relaxed. "I think he likes the twin bed," Edward decided.

I snorted. "Let's just try out different heights and styles, okay? I kind of like that the toddler beds have sides that make it harder for them to roll out of."

"I'll be right back," Mary promised us.

Edward dropped EJ on a toddler bed, earning another round of applause. Abby immediately pushed me away. "Abby, too, Daddy!" she begged, reaching for him. He picked her up and dropped her on a different bed, making her cheer.

"You are _so _going to get us kicked out," I hissed in his ear.

"We'll see about that." He suddenly scooped me up and tossed me onto a twin bed. I wanted to deck him, but I was laughing too hard…especially when he tackled me.

"Sir," Mary said slowly. "Uh, sir?"

Edward, still on top of me, looked over his shoulder at her with a guilty expression on his face. "Sorry," he apologized insincerely. "We're seeing how, um, sturdy they are."

I pushed him off of me and quickly jumped off the bed. "Baby, why don't we let the kids test the sturdiness?"

Mary rolled her eyes and stomped away.

I picked EJ up, making him protest as he tried to climb onto a bed. "Calm down," I soothed him, placing him on the bed. "Lay down and let's see how you like it."

"No night-night."

"We're not going night-night," I assured him, putting my hands on his chubby tummy so he would be still. "Edward, these twin beds just _swallow _them."

"But it saves money."

"And it makes me so nervous."

He smiled at me and kissed my temple. "It's your choice, love."

I sighed and nibbled on my fingernail as my kids ran between the beds, trying to climb on each one and carefully moving off of it. They seemed to gravitate to the toddler beds. My decision was made when EJ tried to climb onto the twin bed, but couldn't quite make it, and sat on his bottom and started to cry in frustration.

"Toddler bed it is," I murmured. "If they get out of bed during the night, then they won't be able to get back into bed."

"Very logical. I didn't think about that," Edward admitted.

They didn't have one in a wood like their cribs that went so well with the nursery, but they did have white rails that were perfect. They were also on sale, which was a plus in everyone's eyes. I laid Abby on it and said, "Do you like this big girl bed?"

She gave me a funny look. "Huh?"

"Big girl bed. Abby's big girl bed," I explained, kissing her nose. "Do you want it?"

"Yes, please!"

I knew the words _big girl_ would work.

"Does EJ want a new bed?" Edward asked our son happily, sitting him on the bed next to Abby.

EJ spread out on it and pushed Abby off. "_Mine_," he said threateningly.

I suddenly had an idea. I stooped down and took EJ's hands in mine as he laid on the bed. "Hey, EJ?"

"Hey, Mama," he smiled at me.

"Do you want this bed for your room?"

"Uh huh." He nodded his head enthusiastically.

"Do you want to sleep in it every night like a big boy?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay, then," I said. "We have to say bye-bye to your babas."

He froze and stared at me. "No."

"Then no big boy bed for EJ."

"No, Mama! Mine!" he argued, clutching the bedpost possessively.

"Babas go bye-bye, then."

Tears filled his eyes and I instantly felt bad for bringing it up. "No…" he pouted, crossing his arms and turning to Edward. "Daddy…no…"

"Big boys who sleep in big boy beds don't use babas," Edward said encouragingly, placing a hand on my shoulder to let me know he had my back. "Are you a big boy?"

EJ nodded vigorously.

"Then we can throw your babas away?" Edward prodded.

EJ's lip quivered and he reached for me. "Mama, EJ big boy," he insisted.

"Then we need to give the babas to Aunt Rosalie's baby," I said gently, maintaining eye contact with him. "Do you want to take your babas to Aunt Rosalie?"

He sniffled and nodded.

"No more babas," I verified carefully. "And EJ gets a big boy bed."

He nodded again.

"I'm so proud of my big boy!" I exclaimed loudly, scooping him up and squeezing him tight. I gave him a big kiss that made his tears dissolve. "You are such a big boy! Mommy loves you so much!"

"Love oo," he smiled, squeezing my neck in a hug.

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner," Edward said to Mary, who was watching the whole scene.

"Let's get these beds bought quickly," she practically begged, clearly tired of us already.

I didn't want EJ to fall asleep on the way home, so after we bought the beds and arranged for them to be delivered to our house, we hung out in Seattle, had an early dinner, and walked through a shopping mall. Rosalie, who was already eight months pregnant, was having a baby shower soon and I still hadn't bought a gift. I knew exactly what I was going to buy her son—clothes, diapers (truly the most useful item for a new mom), and a Build-a-Bear toy like Emmett had bought my children. It was going to become a tradition. The mall wasn't crowded, so Edward and I let EJ and Abby walk in front of us while we kept a close eye on them. They obviously felt so big, toddling by themselves and eating the baked pretzels we had just bought.

"Do you like this?" I asked Edward, holding up a little outfit at Baby Gap.

"Sure," he replied. "I think the bear is very fitting for Emmett Cullen's son."

I smiled and nodded. "I think so, too. Have they thought of a name yet?"

"Yeah, Em told me. They want it to be a surprise for my parents, though."

"What is it?" I begged. "I barely speak to Rosalie anymore. I've been so busy and she's been so hormonal."

"You can't tell anyone."

"My lips are sealed."

"Carlisle Evenson Cullen," he told me. "Evenson is our mother's maiden name. They will call him Evan for short."

"Evan," I repeated. "That's so adorable."

"I thought so, too. My parents are going to spontaneously combust with pride," he chuckled.

I giggled and bought the outfit before heading to Build-a-Bear. Emmett bought both of my kids two toys at their birth, so I "built" baby Evan a teddy bear in a football uniform and a silly-looking caterpillar as a reference to the "bug" nickname we were all so fond of. Abby and EJ were really jealous, so I let them pick out outfits for their stuffed wolves, and they were happy again.

Finally, it was after dark and time to go home. Neither of the bugs had their afternoon naps, and they were now both quite cranky. We weren't even on the highway before they were both asleep. EJ woke up as we carried him inside the house and asked for a bottle, but I reminded him of his big boy bed. He was very confused, so I pulled up a picture on the Internet of the bed and he did, indeed, remember it. He cried for a while, but finally fell asleep in my arms—with only a sippy cup of milk.

And then my sweet little boy slept through the rest of the night, allowing his mommy and daddy to catch up on some much-needed sleep and snuggles.

* * *

_Jacob's POV is most definitely next, and any Jacob fans I have left will like it. I promise._

_I have a new story called "You Are My Muse," starring a twenty-one-year-old art student named Edward and a forty-year-old bakery owner named Bella. It is truly unlike anything I've ever done before. I would love for you to go read it. Citrus goggles on, people.  
_

_Finally, I'm on Twitter once again, and I'm actually active this time around. I have over one-hundred Tweets already. My username is **sarahcullen17ff** ...and while my Tweets are very unpredictable and random, I do post teasers, recs, and Twilight-related things. I follow anyone who follows me._

_Leave a review!  
_


	18. Fort Sam Houston

**Surprise! Procrastination at its finest. But since you guys hadn't had an update in a century before tonight, you get another one!**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: "Fort Sam Houston" Jacob's POV**

I. Loved. Texas.

I finally felt at home after two years of being without one. Sure, it was in basic military housing at a base, but it was wonderful. I had my own flat, top-notch medical care, a group of friends, and a paycheck. Even after a week of being at Fort Sam Houston, I was already having beer and pizza with fellow soldiers. The military always meant you had a family. It sounds cheesy, but it's true.

My first few days were spent having X-rays and scans done. Finally, they decided to skip an operation for now and sent me straight to physical therapy. I was elated by the idea of no more operations but discouraged by the idea of therapy. Not only was I in physical therapy, but they were treating me for mental issues they claimed the government was taking interest in. I wasn't an idiot—I knew exactly that the recent controversy about Iraq and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder was just being examined. But I decided to bite the bullet. Going back into the service was worth all the therapy they threw at me.

So after four days of being at Fort Sam Houston, I went to the physical therapy wing of the big hospital on base. (Sam Houston is the medical center of the military, and where most medics are trained, so they have really nice facilities.)

"Name and rank, sir?" the receptionist asked me as I hobbled on crutches to her desk.

"Sergeant Jacob Black," I replied dully, not looking forward to this at all.

"Alright, Captain Masen will be with you, sir," she said. "You can wait over there."

I sighed and sat in the waiting area, watching the USO ads the base was so fond of. It was really, really boring, to say the least. But finally, a woman's voice called my name: "Sergeant Black?"

I stood up, grabbed my crutches, and walked to the door. To my surprise, a very attractive woman in captain's BDUs stood there, looking at a clipboard. Her red hair was pulled into a bun very carefully so it didn't touch her collar, and her pretty brown eyes were scanning the paperwork.

She looked up at me, and I noticed her face was not wearing makeup _or _a smile. "Black?" she asked coldly.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied promptly, remembering that she outranked me.

"I'm Captain Vanessa Masen, one of the physical therapists here at Sam Houston. It looks like you'll be with me. Come back to my exam room."

She led me through a hallway, shoulders squared and posture perfectly upright. She walked rhythmically, clearly used to marching, with her eyes straight. She finally came to a door and opened it, motioning to an examination table. "Sit there, Black."

I was a newly-divorced man, but Vanessa Masen was gorgeous, and there was no way I could ever deny that.

"Alright, I'm not going to lie, Sergeant," she said in a very businesslike tone as she took her seat and continued to read my chart. "You don't have a very pretty medical record. This is going to take a while to fix."

"I know, ma'am," I replied.

"You were a POW?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Where?"

"We were transported to different places, but I was stationed in Bucca."

"Explain your injuries to me, if you can remember them."

Captain Masen was pretty, but she was not overly friendly. She moved what limbs she could, studying the ways my muscles and bones moved, and asking me what hurt and what was difficult. I'll admit that I tried to play it cool, ignoring the stiffness and pain that came with her prodding. Finally, she had enough of it.

"Black, I don't know what you're doing, but you need to tell me when you're hurting. Now does _this _hurt?"

I literally squeaked as she yanked my arm back, nearly dislocating my shoulder. "Jesus—yes!"

"Good—that _should _have hurt. Now you better start being honest with me, or I'm going to do it again."

"Haven't you heard that President Obama is cracking down on torture tactics in the military?" I complained, rubbing my shoulder.

She finally smiled. "Haven't you heard that Captain Masen doesn't put up with bullshit?"

I snorted. "Actually, I haven't heard of you until now."

"And I don't put up with bullshit, now do I?"

"No, ma'am, you don't," I admitted as she checked my reflexes in my legs. "How did you know I've been trying to be tough?"

"You're a six foot seven sergeant, over twice my weight, and you think I'm pretty," she replied. "You have a reputation at stake."

I let out a laugh. "You think very highly of yourself, don't you?"

"I could say the same for you." She wrote something down on her chart.

"Touché, ma'am, touché," I murmured. "Is your boyfriend a tough guy?"

"No boyfriend," she confessed, bending my good leg at the knee and studying it. "And I'll appreciate it if you keep your nose in your own personal life, kid."

"Kid? You can't be older than I am."

"Maybe not, but I outrank you," she pointed out. "Stretch your arms as high up as you can."

I complied, touching the ceiling, but continued my flirting. "Yes, you do outrank me, but that doesn't intimidate me. That kind of encourages me. Imagine the bragging rights I could have if I took you out to dinner."

"The only bragging rights you'll have is that Captain Masen kicked your ass. And I'm not sure you'll be willing to brag about being pummeled by a girl who weighs one-fifteen."

"Your bedside manner is horrible," I smirked.

"I'm not a doctor, so that doesn't matter, Sergeant. Now, I want you to stand up without the crutches, and touch your toes. I'll help hold you up."

She took my arms and helped me off the examination table. I tried to stand straight as she stood behind me and gripped my waist. Carefully, I bent and worked at touching my toes.

"Your weakness is in your legs," she announced. "Your arm healed up nicely…but that bum leg is going to be the problem. You're lucky you didn't lose it."

"Shouldn't you reward me for that?" I asked, looking up at her from my spot close to the floor.

"Excuse me?"

"Let me take you out to dinner," I begged. "Please, ma'am?"

She raised an eyebrow. "What kind of date would that be? I would have to drive, and hold the door open for you, and walk you to the door. That's kind of backwards, don't you think?"

I gave her a winning smile as I stood up straight. "With all due respect, ma'am, I don't think you are the type who appreciates such chivalry, and I'm not the type to give it, so I think we're a good pair."

She stared at me for a minute with those hazelnut eyes before finally smiling. "Why are sergeants so cocky? Believe it or not, you don't know everything. Especially about me."

"Dinner and a movie," I pleaded. "Friday night."

"Do a jumping jack," she shot back, "and I will."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "You are one sadistic woman. I'll do a jumping jack if you can touch the ceiling."

She hopped up on the examination table in her combat boots and touched the ceiling. "What now, hotshot?"

"That's cheating," I pouted at her.

"No, that's using my brain." She tapped her temple. "Which you know nothing about."

"Why are captains so cocky?" I mimicked her.

She giggled and jumped back down to the floor. "Do your jumping jack."

"You know I can't with this thing on my leg."

"Exactly," she grinned proudly. "So we're going to work you up to the point where you can. And then I might go out with you. Use that as your motivation. Now, sit down, and let me take your shoe off so I can look at your foot."

"I think you're trouble, ma'am," I remarked, sitting back down on the examination table.

"Good instinct. Foot, please."

She took off my running shoe and stretched the tendons and muscles in my foot and ankle. "At least come have a drink with a few other people tonight," I suggested.

She looked up at me. "What other people?"

"Some officers and some enlistees," I shrugged. "Some of the random friends I've picked up since being here. We're going down to Anthony's for beer and pool. I'll buy you your drinks."

"Friends don't buy each other drinks."

"Sure they do," I replied, wanting to touch her light red hair as she stood up.

"No, they don't."

"Then let's don't go as friends."

She laughed. "Sergeant, you're right. I don't like chivalry, so I don't like it when men pay for my things. I'll buy my own damn drinks, thank you very much."

"You know you just agreed to come have drinks with me tonight," I pointed out.

She sighed. "Fine, Anthony's. What time?"

"Seven."

"I'll be there. But only if you tell me one thing…since we're friends."

My curiosity was piqued. "Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"Why is your marital status listed as 'divorced'?" she asked me point-blank, eyes staring into mine.

I sighed. I knew that if there were any chances of me ever finding another woman again, I was going to have to be honest. I just didn't think it would be so soon. Still, I decided to play it safe. "I like to blame it on Osama bin Laden. If he hadn't pulled 9/11, Bush would have never cared about Hussein, and I would have never been deployed to Hell on Earth."

She gave me a funny look as she put my shoe back on. "Well, that's a remarkable way to sidestep my question. Blame it on a terrorist, and then mention a president and a dictator."

"I mean to say that the Army isn't good on a marriage, unless you're in the Reserves," I explained quickly. "Deployment changes everything."

Her eyes suddenly grew soft. "Well, I can certainly understand that, Sergeant. We're done for the day. I'll meet you at Anthony's at seven tonight, and then eleven AM tomorrow for another session."

I gave her a grateful smile as I climbed off the table. "Thank you, Captain Masen. I can't wait."

"Jacob?" she asked me as I walked out.

I stopped and turned around. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Since we're friends, you can call me Nessie."

My smile increased tenfold. "Nessie," I repeated. "I like it. Kind of like the-"

"No Loch Ness jokes," she interrupted me, looking adorably irritated. "Or I'll kick your ass. Get out of my wing."

Nessie kind of reminded me of the Bella I married years ago—the spunky, sarcastic, badass one who wasn't afraid to offend me. But that Bella was gone now. She was no longer in my life. And I had a pretty good feeling that Nessie was going to be a part of my life.

Suddenly, Fort Sam Houston seemed like it was going to be even better.

* * *

_I think we'll have little sporadic snapshots like this into Jacob's life...not very long chapters, just enough to give you an idea of how he's doing._

_Who liked my version of Nessie? I couldn't very well make her name Renesmee Cullen, so I played around with it._

_And yeah-completely different Jacob, right? Not exactly. He still has demons to face. His moods are just erratic. You'll see._

_Oh, and by the way, I'm not shoving political views or current events down anyone's throat. I may or may not agree with Jacob's take on the war. Frankly, I don't care if you do or don't. Don't turn this into a political debate, please.  
_

_Review?  
_


	19. The Very Distant Future

**I have a couple of topics to cover before you read this chapter...**

**1.) I've had some complaints that this story is getting boring. I've already apologized on my Twitter, but I know that only a small percentage of my readers are Twits, so I'll apologize here. I'm so sorry if this story is not what you expected. Writing is my therapy, and lately I have loved writing peaceful little anecdotes of E, B, and the bugs, because I need that peace. However, most FFn readers want angst. So I'm trying to add angst. Bear with me. I said that the most exciting part of the story would happen in six chapters, but I have definitely whittled that number down. Just trust me.**

**2.) Something I have realized-months have passed since the first chapter of AS. Like, a lot of months. I know my seasons are off-for some reason, I always picture this entire story happening in the summertime. Considering EJ and Abby are over two years old, that's two years of summer. Hopefully none of you have realized this. But I am going by a calendar now. So, once again, bear with me.**

**3.) I am well-aware of the fact that my last chapter that mentioned Osama Bin Laden was posted on the night he was killed. That night, as I watched CNN, I Tweeted about the irony. It was a huge coincidence, okay? Seriously, people are PMing me and asking if I'm some kind of prophet or if I have inside information...while both of those things would be AWESOME, I'm not and I don't. You guys have been making me laugh, and I hope you're joking, but I can assure you that it was irony at its finest. And Sergeant Jacob Black was not involved with the mission that killed him. ;-)  
**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: "**The Very Distant Future" Bella's POV

"Ready to go see Aunt Rosalie?" I asked my son as we walked up the steps of Rose and Emmett's house the day after our furniture shopping escapade. Edward was hanging out with Abby while EJ and I went to see my best friend. Just that morning, we had hung a picture of his new bed on the refrigerator, and told him that if he gave his bottles to his aunt's baby, then he could have his bed. He seemed to understand, and obediently dropped his babas into a gift bag. It was heartbreaking but exciting to watch him as he did it. He would put one in the bag, say, "Bye-bye, baba," and then look forlorn, before doing it to the next one. He had acquired quite a handful over the past year.

"No," he replied stubbornly, stopping on the steps and holding the gift bag behind him. "_My _babas."

I had expected this. I pulled the picture of the bed out of my purse and showed it to him. "You don't want your big boy bed? You don't want a big kid bed like Abby? Abby is going to have a big kid bed. You're going to be like a baby."

His eyes grew huge. "I want," he insisted. "Please, Mama."

"You want your bed?"

He nodded eagerly.

"Then we have to give your babas to Aunt Rosalie," I said for the millionth time. "Her baby_ needs_ them."

It was a boldfaced lie, of course. He had chewed the rubber nipples to the point of destruction just from the comfort feedings. But Rosalie had agreed to accept them in order to help him get over it. I loved my friend so much.

He sighed and walked up the stairs, dragging the bag behind him. I smiled at his determined posture—he _really _wanted to be equal with Abby. I let us into the house and found Rosalie relaxing on the couch in her living room, her huge belly being the most dominant part of her.

"There's my EJ!" she cheered happily, sounding thoroughly excited.

"Hi," EJ replied, standing by my leg and clutching my shirt hem. He was unsure again.

"Let's go see Aunt Rosalie," I encouraged him, leading him to the couch. I kissed Rose's cheek and softly touched her belly. "Sweetie, you are looking fantastic."

"Oh, I wish," she sighed, leaning back on the cushions. "My feet are huge, my stomach is huge, my butt is huge, and Emmett hasn't requested sex in weeks. I'm feeling rather unattractive right now."

"Pregnancy suits you. I can't wait to see the baby."

"I can't wait to see him, either." She patted her tummy before pouting melodramatically, "EJ, I want a hug."

He dropped the gift bag on the floor and climbed on the couch with her, sort of smushing her tummy. Rose didn't seem to mind, though, because she gave him a huge hug and kiss. "My sweet bug," she smiled at him.

She was already feeling maternal. EJ felt it, too, because he rested his head lovingly on her shoulder. "Where's baby?" he asked her.

"Still in my tummy," she explained, pulling her shirt up a little and putting his hand on her bare stomach. "Do you feel that? That's my baby. He's moving in my tummy."

EJ's mouth fell open, making us giggle.

I sat on the loveseat across from them and watched as she loved on my son. "Rose, you're going to be such a good mom."

"Lord, I hope so," she said doubtfully, smoothing EJ's still too long hair. I made a mental note to cut it ASAP. "I'm scared I'm going to screw Evan up. That's his name, by the way."

"I love it."

"Emmett will be a wonderful daddy, at least," she continued. "He's already totally into the whole parenting thing. He buys diapers and pacifiers all the time. He's a little obsessed. I guess it could be worse, though." She laughed. "How is my future brother-in-law?"

I smiled involuntarily. "He's at home right now, but he's doing well. We're both happier than we have ever been. Jacob is in Texas, you know."

"Oh? He actually went?"

"Yeah. I can't believe I forgot to tell you."

"Me, neither." She snorted. "Maybe he'll find some drill sergeant to straight his as—butt out."

"Cleaning up your mouth?" I teased her.

"Yes, Em and I are both working on it," she sighed, shaking her head. "I can just picture Evan's first word being an expletive."

"That would be hilariously tragic," I agreed.

EJ was currently trying to root his way into Rosalie's lap, but there simply wasn't room. We watched in amusement as he tried to push her belly away—of course he couldn't come up with enough force to hurt her or the baby. Finally, he let out a grunt of frustration, slid off the couch, and climbed into my lap. He buried his face in my chest, feeling much more at home as my arms wrapped around him.

I kissed the top of his head. "Ready to give Aunt Rosalie her surprise?" I asked him gently, kissing his forehead. "Do you want to give Aunt Rosalie her present?"

"You got me a present?" she exclaimed in mock surprise. "A present all for me?"

"No, baby," he corrected her.

"You got my baby a present? Oh, he'll be so happy!"

EJ smiled proudly and pointed at the gift bag in the floor.

"Go give it to her," I encouraged him, giving him another comforting kiss.

He sighed yet again and reluctantly took the bag to her. She made a huge show of shaking it curiously, listening to the sounds, and peeking inside. When she saw the bottles, she gasped. "Wow!" she said exuberantly. "This is so great! My baby needs babas!"

"Uh huh," EJ said, an enormous smile on his face. He looked proud of himself.

She held her arms open and let him run to her for another hug. "Oh, thank you, sweetie. Aunt Rosalie loves you so much. You are so sweet. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

EJ allowed us to leave Rosalie's house without whining for the bottles, which surprised me. We had hung out at Rosalie's while Abby took the afternoon nap she still craved but EJ was forbidden from. When I walked through the door, EJ on my hip, the smell of dinner wafted into my nostrils.

Edward and Abby had obviously picked up some takeout. He was dumping the food out onto plates while Abby played with the fortune cookie box, trying to wear it as a hat. "The new Chinese place?" I asked in surprise, giving him a kiss as a greeting.

"Yeah, the one just outside of Forks. I thought we could try it. How did he handle it?" Edward took EJ from my arms and blew a raspberry on his cheek, making him laugh.

"Remarkably well…I'm proud of him." I scratched EJ's fat tummy before cooing, "You are such a big boy."

"We'll see how tonight goes down," Edward said doubtfully, returning to the food.

Edward's doubts proved to be quite plausible. EJ went to sleep without any problems, but woke up during the night, crying. He was exhausted from his lack of a nap, of course, but he needed that little extra comfort. As soon as he started crying, Edward got out of bed and went to my closet. My eyebrows raised as he returned with an old fleece blanket I hadn't used in a while.

"What are you doing?" I asked, confused.

"I'm going to try to give him a substitute for the bottle," Edward explained.

My eyes widened in horror. "Edward, no. He doesn't need a security item. Don't. Let me go get him. I'll give him a sippy cup."

"We're breaking him of the _I'll cry and Mommy or Daddy comes running _habit, remember?" my boyfriend asked me gently, putting a hand to my hair as I jumped up and tried to take the blanket from him. "Look, Bella. He thinks he needs something during the night. This blanket smells like you. He's used it before. It's familiar. I think we should go give it to him and tell him that since he gave his bottles to Rose's baby, he gets Mommy's blanket."

"It's. A. Security. Item," I said through gritted teeth. "I don't raise insecure children."

Edward sighed softly. "Obviously he has some insecurities, or we wouldn't be awake right now, love."

I groaned as he kissed my forehead, knowing he was right. "I still don't like this. Let him cry it out."

"And wake Abby?"

"Ugh!" I sighed and snatched the blanket away. "If this doesn't work after a few minutes, I'm getting him out of the crib. Oh, and he will only be allowed to have the blanket in his crib, okay? He's not toting it around everywhere."

Edward followed me to the nursery. EJ was standing up in his crib, looking anxiously for me. Of course he expected me to be there. I couldn't wait for the toddler beds to arrive, but I knew that they couldn't have them until they were both sleeping through the night. Otherwise we wouldn't get any sleep at all.

"Hi, precious boy," I whispered, kissing his forehead over the crib bars.

"Baba," he said promptly, reaching for me. "Mama."

"No, honey," I replied as gently as I could. "We gave your babas to Aunt Rosalie's baby, remember?"

"No, baba," he whined, tears flowing down his cheeks.

"EJ, are you a baby?" I asked him. "Or are you a big boy?"

"No baby…"

"Then you don't need a baba. Big boys don't have babas. Do you want a special present?"

His eyes lit up at the magic word: _present. _I would never understand how kids didn't understand simple commands like _Don't _and _Stop that_ but they could come running as soon as they heard _present_. He nodded eagerly.

"Since you are a big boy and you don't have babas, you can have Mommy's blanket," I said doubtfully, knowing this wouldn't work. "But you can only have Mommy's big boy blanket if you go to stop crying and go to sleep."

He stared at the blanket, intrigued.

Edward stepped next to me and stroked EJ's raven hair. "Babies have babas," he reinforced. "Big boys have blankets. Will you sleep with Mommy's blanket?"

"No baby," EJ whimpered. "Blankey."

I unfolded the blanket and handed it to him. As soon as he was clutching it, I gently pushed him back down on the mattress and stretched him out so he was laying on his back. I pulled the blanket over him and stroked my fingers over his little cheeks. "Such a big boy. Mommy's big boy." (I was already growing tired of those words.) "Night-night, EJ. I love you."

"Lub you," he sniffled, fisting the blanket. He pulled it over his head, rubbing the softness against his face.

Edward pulled it down and bent down to kiss him. "Night-night, big boy. Daddy loves you, too."

"Lub you too, Daddy," EJ smiled.

"Take care of your big boy blankey. It's a present from Mommy and Daddy." Edward pulled my arm and led me out of the nursery. "Told you so," he grinned boastfully at me. "That was remarkably easy. Why have we been slaving over this whole issue for months now?"

I smacked his shoulder. "Shut up. He's going to start crying."

But he didn't. Once again, Edward had saved the day.

* * *

Days passed, and those days turned to weeks, and those weeks turned to three months. Life was perfectly balanced. I had two healthy, happy, beautiful children who both slept through the night in toddler beds. An amazing, wonderful, gorgeous boyfriend who worshipped the ground I walked on. A supportive family who loved me and my children unconditionally. The cutest little nephew who went by the name of Evan. I thought it was perfect.

But Edward thought differently. Edward thought something was missing.

The rainclouds began to form over my sky while Edward and I were out on a date one night. It was the night after the twins' second birthday. We had a big party that was a lot more peaceful than their first birthday. But Edward and I were tired and annoyed by cake-and-ice-cream-hyped two year olds who had more toys than they knew what to do with. EJ and Abby were super hyper even a day later. We hadn't cleaned up after the party. We were just...tired.

So Esme kept them so we could have a break and Edward and I went out to eat at the Lodge, Forks' nicest restaurant.  
We didn't say much at dinner. We sat on the same side of the booth, his arm around me, me snuggling into his side, head on his shoulder. Edward, bless his heart, was just tired. He had been a trooper through the party _and_a difficult case in court.

"Bella?" a voice that seriously flew across the room shouted. I looked around the dining room and saw one of my old college buddies approaching my table. My mouth fell open.

"Eli?" I said in surprise. "What are you doing in Forks?"

Edward gave us a funny look, especially when Eli bent down and hugged me. "I'm dating a girl from here," he explained. "I hate this Podunk town! How are you? You look amazing!"

"I'm doing great," I replied. "This is so crazy. Who are you dating?"

"Carmen-"

"Benicia? I know her," I interrupted. "She's sweet."

He rolled his eyes. "Small towns."

"Baby, may I have an introduction?" Edward asked politely, but I could see him turn green with envy. That confused me. He had always been so nice about Jacob...

"Oh, right!" I exclaimed. "Boyfriend, meet old college drinking buddy. Eli, meet Edward."

Eli gave me an incredulous look. "Boyfriend?"  
_  
Aw, hell._ The last time I had seen Eli was at my wedding. "Uh, yeah," I said quietly. "Jacob and I divorced."

"What?" he asked, immediately taking a seat at our booth. "Spill!

"It's a really long story," I said quickly. "I don't want to bore you with the details."

"That's sad."

"Not really," I argued, touching Edward's face. "I'm happier than ever."

"How long have you been divorced?" he interrogated.

Edward sighed, but remained silent.

"A few months now," I replied, stroking Edward's thigh comfortingly.

"And you haven't put a ring on it?" Eli asked Edward, a teasing glint in his eye. "Bella is the best girl in the Pacific Northwest. You better stake your claim on her."

"Trust me: I keep trying," Edward replied calmly, giving me a meaningful look. "But she keeps saying no. She's not only the best, but the most stubborn." A small smirk escaped his lips, and  
he swiftly kissed my nose.

Eli chuckled. "At least you've found a guy who knows your worth, Bella."

Edward's phone rang then. Still keeping an arm on my shoulders, he pulled it out and checked the caller ID before answering it. "Hey, Mom. Are the kids okay? Hang on, I can't hear you." He mouthed "Excuse me" to me, and I let him out of the booth.

Eli was clearly in shock. I sighed.

"Kids?" he squeaked.

I nodded. "Two of them. Twins."

"Jacob's or...his?"

"Jake was the sperm donor. Edward is the father figure."

"Sorry, but your vagueness is clouding up my understanding," he rolled his eyes.

"Because it's a long and confusing story that I don't want to hash out without a bottle of whiskey," I retorted.

"Bella!" a female voice giggled, interrupting us. I turned to see Carmen standing there. "How do you two know each other?"

"We were in U Dub at the same time," Eli explained, squeezing her hand.

"Oh, that's crazy! Are you here alone, Bella?"

"No, my boyfriend is here, but he had to take an important phone call," I replied.

Her eyes slanted. "You mean that Cullen guy?"

"The very one," I said dryly, knowing I had just opened a whole new opportunity for gossip.

She slowly shook her head. "Wow. You kind of stagger me. I mean, the nerve. How dare you. Really."

My mouth fell open. "Excuse me?"

"Carmen, chill," Eli hissed.

"No, you don't know the story, Eli," she shot back. "Bella got full custody of her little brats and didn't even give Jacob parental rights. I think that's a little tacky and selfish and just plain wrong. Edward, however, is raising these children."

I cleared my throat. "Carmen, I don't know what I've done to anger you, but you obviously don't know the whole story. When Jacob left bruises on me, I knew it was time for me to remove my children and myself from the situation. I'm sorry if you have a problem with that, but it's not your body and it's not your children at stake."

"Bella..." Eli gasped. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious," I replied. "Post-traumatic stress disorder in soldiers is extremely real."

"That's what you blame it on," Carmen seethed, "but if you were any kind of woman, you would have stood by your man."

"I stood by my children."

She shook her head, disgusted. "Eli, let's go."

Eli stared at me. "Bella...we need to talk sometime. I want to make sure you're okay."

"Thank you for your concern," Edward suddenly said, standing behind Carmen. "Ma'am, if I could just sit by my girlfriend, please."

He slid into the booth next to me as Carmen stomped off. Eli cleared his throat awkwardly. "Seriously, Bells. We're gonna talk. Edward, my man, it was nice meeting you." He stuck a hand out for Edward to shake. "Need I even mention how lucky you are?"

Edward murmured something polite, but I was a little lost in my own world. When Eli stalked off, Edward turned to me. "Love, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I whispered immediately. "Carmen and I weren't the best of friends in high school. Are the kids alright?"

He sighed and rubbed his temples. "Mom was freaking out because Abby hit her head really hard on the coffee table."

"Again?" I asked in shock.  
"Yeah...Mom was ready to call 911, but I told her to wait a while and watch for signs of a problem. I told her that Abby has done this five or six times already."

I snorted. "Our clumsy little girl."

"Mmm," he murmured, like he couldn't think of anything to say.

"You okay?"

He shrugged.

"Do you want to go home to Abby?" I asked. "I'm sure she's fine, but if you're worried, we can go home."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "I know she's probably fine. This has become commonplace for her," he said a little bitterly, taking a bite of his steak.

I stared at my own dinner, totally confused. He had been tired but happy just before Eli had shown up. Now he was tired and grumpy. What had I done?

"Are you mad about Eli?" I asked carefully, not wanting to hit a land mine. Not that Edward would ever explode at me.

"Eli didn't do anything to me," he replied evasively. "I think his girlfriend pissed you off, but I can already guess what that was about."

I sighed and pushed my plate away, not in the mood to eat. Edward never acted so standoffish. It scared me. I was still a little vulnerable after Jacob. I couldn't stand for him to be angry with me.

"Finished eating?" he asked me.

"Yup," I said softly.

He pressed his debit card into my hand. "If you'll use my card to pay the bill, I'll go start the car so it will be warm for you."

"Alright." I kissed his cheek, hoping for a kiss back, but he didn't respond. He just moved out of the booth.

"Fantastic," I muttered under my breath. After I paid for our dinner, I went outside and stood by the door until the silver Volvo pulled up. I quickly hopped into the car, eager to get out of the cold and damp October air. As soon as my seatbelt was buckled and Edward was speeding off, I turned to him. "Okay, Edward. What's wrong? Why are you mad at me?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "It's nothing you need to worry about, Bella. Trust me."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I just do. And besides, if I even brought it up, I would already know your answer to the whole thing."

"How do you know _that_?"

"Because I know you. You don't open up—"

That was where I drew the line…and that was where I sort of lost it. I suddenly shouted, "I've done a good job of opening up to you, even though it was really hard…so you can return the favor, Edward Anthony Cullen!"

I didn't know why I was so enraged, but suddenly he looked bewildered. "You didn't let me finish my sentence, Bella. God, that is so annoying."

"Why won't _you _open up to me?" I demanded to know, the tears spilling over along with everything else in my heart. I knew I was overreacting, but for some reason, I had already had it with _this _behavior. Jacob had shut down and refused to give me any reasons for his short temper. I was through with those days. "Pull over the car!"

Edward obediently pulled onto the rough shoulder of the highway, put the car in park, and turned to me, allowing me to continue with my rant.

"Don't you love me?" I sputtered, irrationally terrified that I was about to have another Jacob situation. I was still so messed up, and I hadn't even known it. Edward's behavior was too familiar, and with that came some traumatic memories. With those traumatic memories came the fears I had lived in with Jacob: that I was a disappointment. That I wasn't enough for my man, because if I was, he would share his thoughts with me. "Aren't I good enough for you? Can't you trust me enough to open up to me? I mean...I know I'm not perfect or beautiful or completely sane and I know I have more baggage than most but-"

"Marry me, Bella."

My mouth fell open as the words escaped his lips. I kept waiting for him to laugh at his stupid distraction from my rant, but he looked dead serious.

"I'm sorry," I sputtered. "What?"

"Marry me," he said simply. "I'm tired of waiting. I feel like _you_ don't love me, that _I'm_ not good enough, that _you_ can't trust me...everything you just named. That's how I feel. Become my wife. Please."

My heart pounded. "Edward..."

"This isn't how I wanted to do this. I mean, I haven't even bought a ring yet...but I'm serious. Marry me."

I shook my head, my throat feeling dry and scratchy. I had gone from completely traumatized by my ex-husband to completely dumbfounded by my boyfriend. "No," I whispered. "Not now...not now...please. Don't do this. Don't ruin this. Marriage isn't what it's cracked up to be. Don't."

"Why not? We live together. EJ and Abby call me Daddy. I'm supporting you financially. I am truly yours for eternity. I love you more than my own life." He tenderly cupped the side of my face in his hand. "Let's just make it official. I want to be introduced as your husband. I want to wear a ring you give me. I want you to be Mrs. Edward Cullen. Marry me."

"It's not that easy," I mumbled, tears filling my eyes. "I can't right now."

"Look, Bella, Eli is right," he continued. "I'm so damn lucky to be with you. I need the world to know you're mine."

"That's a terrible reason to get married," I sighed, rubbing my temples. "Edward, take me home."

"So you're saying no?"

"I'm saying _not yet_," I clarified. "I'm not ready, okay?"

He sighed and pulled back onto the road. We stayed silent as we drove home. We almost always held hands in the car, but we didn't touch tonight. We just fumed.

As soon as we were home, I walked in the house. EJ and Abby weren't in bed yet, and Esme looked exhausted as they watched television. I disapproved, but at least they were calm.

"You're home early," Esme remarked. "Where's Edward?"

"Outside," I spat, throwing my jacket and purse on the couch.

"Oh, no," she said. "What did he do?"

I shook my head as Abby ran to me. "Mama," she whined, rubbing her temple. "I gots a boo-boo. Kiss my boo-boo."

"Let me see." I swept her up and cradled her close, observing her head. Sure enough, a new purple bruise had blossomed under her skin. I wasn't surprised-her endless energy always detracted from her focus, so she was always having accidents. I worked on pressing a thousand little kisses to her bruise, making her giggle.

"It scared me to death," Esme admitted. "She whacked it hard on the table and screamed for so long."

"Quite frequent," I explained. "We're going to have to come up with a solution for that table."

"Is Edward alright? Are you alright?" Esme asked me.

"We're fine," I said shortly. "Just a...disagreement. He's probably trying to cool off outside. I wasn't very nice."

"I see," she replied slowly.

"Go see Daddy?" Abby asked me.

"No, it's too cold, love," I replied. "He'll be inside soon."

Her bottom lip began to tremble-the classic Abby-is-about-to-lose-her-cool face.

"Oh, no you don't," I said sternly, tucking her lip back into her mouth. "Stop."

She was obviously not pleased with my reaction, because she leapt off my lap and ran to the couch Esme was inhabiting so she could look out the window. When she didn't see Edward on  
the lawn, she let out an angry squeal and began to stomp her feet on the couch cushions.

"Abby, stop," I scolded. "Abigail!"

She hopped off the couch and ran to the front door, screaming.

"Lovely," I sighed. "How hard did she hit her head?"

"Hard enough to introduce her to the terrible twos," Esme smiled gently. "Do I need to go kick Edward's tail?"

I shook my head slowly. "No...I'm just..." I sighed and hid my face in my hands. "Overwhelmed right now. That's all."

I heard the front door open, and Abby shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! Up!"

"Stop stomping your feet, princess," Edward berated calmly, even though he still sounded stressed out. "I have enough women throwing temper tantrums."

"Unbelievable," I huffed, earning a curious look from Esme. "_I'm_ throwing temper tantrums? What about the silent treatment, Cullen?"

Esme cleared her throat. "I think I'm going to bow out right about now."

"Probably a good idea," I admitted, standing to give her a hug. "Thanks for keeping the kids, Mom."

She kissed my forehead. "Anytime, dear."

She grabbed her purse and walked out of the living room, smacking Edward's arm on her way. "Ow, jeez, Mother!" he exclaimed, rubbing his bicep. "What was that for?"

"Whatever it is you've done," she replied, leaving the house.

I couldn't even look at him. The man had said that he didn't feel like I loved him, he didn't feel like I trusted him, he didn't feel good enough for me. Didn't he realize how much that hurt me? Didn't he know that he was one of the most important aspects of my life, second only to my children? And didn't he realize that I wasn't ready to commit eternity to a sheet of paper and a little gold ring?

"Mama," EJ commanded my attention, running to me and clutching his fleece blankey. Unfortunately, I had been right about that one—it had indeed become a security item. The child was thoroughly convinced that he couldn't survive without it. "Ju-ju! Blankey!"

"What?" I asked him, not understanding the syntax of his random babbling. Juice and his blanket? So what?

He suddenly broke into tears, spreading his blanket out for me. I saw the big purple stain on it—he had spilled grape juice all over it. "Cup," he cried, pointing to his sippy cup that was currently leaking juice on my beige carpet.

"Oh, no," I groaned, jumping up and picking the cup off the floor. I quickly grabbed the blanket and threw it over the stain, trying to keep it from permanently decorating my carpet. The blanket could be washed in the washing machine. The carpet could not.

"No!" EJ shrieked, stomping his feet just like Abby.

_Where have they learned that?_

"Hush," I warned him, pressing the blanket to the stain. "EJ. Stop. Edward, a little help, please?"

Edward scooped EJ up and carried the crying boy—and Abby—to the nursery. After the stain had been mostly lifted from the carpet, I took the blanket to the laundry room and doused it in stain remover. EJ would panic if his blanket was anything but perfect. I threw it in the washer and returned to my son, who was still crying.

"Come here, love," I sighed, taking him into my arms. "I told you what would happen with the blanket," I glared at Edward, turning to leave the nursery with EJ while he held Abby.

"Bella, he's sleeping through the night."

"And he can't leave the house without the stupid blanket."

As I walked out into the hallway, I heard Edward let out a grunt of frustration. "That is not how I wanted a damn marriage proposal to turn out," he moaned.

"Daddy, shh," Abby scolded him, and I actually smiled.

I tried to ignore Edward. I concentrated on EJ, taking him in the laundry room and standing by the washer with him while the blanket ran through the spin cycle. Every now and then, I would have to open the washer so he could look in and see that the blanket was still there. I finally figured out a good way to keep him from panicking: let him sit on top of the washer. He loved the noises and the vibrations, and I actually found myself giggling with him as he wiggled on top of it and tried to imitate the noises. Once the blanket was washed, I let him put it in the dryer for me, and then sat him on top of the dryer.

Finally, after we had spent quite a while playing with house appliances, the blanket was dry and stain-free, and EJ was happy. I returned to the living room, where Edward was on the couch, staring off into space.

"Where's Abby?" I asked him.

"She's in bed."

"Did you r-o-c-k her?"

I spelled the word because Edward and I had been trying something new: since the kids were in toddler beds now, we thought they should be able to put themselves to sleep. So far they were actually good at it. Abby was so independent she usually didn't mind, and as long as EJ had his blankey, he felt perfectly comfortable with it. Still, they looked for any excuse to be rocked to sleep. They just didn't throw fits about it. Edward loved the new arrangement, because just putting the kids in bed and kissing them good night was so much faster than making sippy cups, grabbing blankets and pillows and books, and singing lullabies and rocking until they fell asleep. It gave us more "Mommy and Daddy" time. But me? I missed it, of course. I mean, I loved the extra quiet time Edward and I enjoyed in front of the television or in our bed, but I loved rocking my children. I just wasn't ready for them to grow up yet.

"No, I didn't," Edward answered. "She doesn't need it."

It sounded like the nursery was perfectly quiet, so I guessed she was asleep. Abby had taken to singing herself to sleep, which was just about the cutest thing I had ever seen. I bit my lip as I held EJ (who was currently nuzzling his dryer-warmed blankey) and eyed the empty rocking chair longingly. I needed to comfort _someone._ It was the only thing I knew to do when I had been upset.

"Bella," Edward sighed. "He doesn't need it, either. Don't let him regress. Just take him to bed."

Baby blankets and marriage proposals aside, Edward was so logical. It irked me. "You're worried about _me _making him regress?"

He rolled his green eyes. "Bella, I gave him a lovey so he can just feel safe. You want to treat him like a baby. There is a huge difference."

I let out a long, impatient breath, and took EJ to the nursery. He was perfectly happy with his blankey as I tucked him into the toddler bed under his comforter. He was already used to this routine, and quite unimpressed with it. I kissed his cheeks and his nose. "Night-night, precious," I whispered. "Love you. Sweet dreams."

He gave me a sweet response back, and I walked out of the nursery, leaving the door slightly ajar. As soon as I was in the hallway, I slumped to the floor and buried my face in my hands.

Edward had just more or less proposed to me—in an extremely un-Edward-like fashion, I might add—and I had exploded at him because I was still a little battle-scarred by my ex-husband. I suddenly felt like a terrible person. A terrible girlfriend. All we did was play house and dream of a bigger house with blue shutters…but I wouldn't even give him a little hope of a marriage. I knew it would happen one day, but he was not entirely convinced of that.

So I decided to be the bigger person. I stood up, squared my shoulders, swallowed my pride, and approached him, right where he was sitting on the couch.

And then I straddled his lap and pressed my lips to his.

He kissed me back automatically, a natural reflex, but then he pulled back. "Bella," he complained. "No."

"I'm sorry," I said before I could stop myself. I didn't like apologizing first. "I'm really sorry for blowing up at you. Your silence and the way you were ignoring me just reminded me of Jacob…that's all."

He sighed, looking embarrassed, and dropped his face on my shoulder. I kissed his hair and rested my head on his. "I'm sorry, too," he admitted. "I shouldn't pressure you into anything, but I want to marry you so badly. I'm tired of waiting."

"I'm tired of being pressured into it," I admitted. "I have it coming from you, my dad, Esme, Carlisle…what am I supposed to do?"

"Just _marry _me."

"Just _wait _for me."

"I have," he murmured, kissing my shoulder. "For so long now. Really, if you want to be specific, I've waited my whole life for my soulmate. Now I've found her, and I want her."

"You have her," I insisted.

"I want_ all_ of her."

I sighed. "Are you going to break up with me if I don't agree to marry you?"

He looked up at me. "Of course not. Why would you even think that?"

"Then just be patient with me. I won't love you any more for wearing a ring than I love you right now." I kissed his eyelids, trying to coerce him into seeing things my way.

He sighed. "At least let me buy us a house in Forks."

I gave him a funny look. "What?"

"Just a place of our own. There are too many memories in this house. _Bad_ memories. We haven't even had the glass cabinets repaired from…_his_…explosion."

"Because it's unnecessary," I replied. "The kids can't climb up on the counters yet, so why do we need glass panels on the doors?"

He sighed and kissed my shoulder softly. "That's my point. You don't want to put the glass back in the doors because you don't want to face the memories. Let's get out of here. La Push offers nothing for me, except for my three loves. And I can take them with me."

"That's a huge decision," I said flatly. "I'm not making it tonight."

He let out another long breath and nodded. "Okay."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

I absentmindedly played with a piece of fuzz on the front of his shirt, avoiding his gaze. "Do you think I'm a bad parent or something?"

"Wait, _what_?"

"You're just constantly disagreeing with me about the blanket, and the rocking, and—"

"Bella," he sighed. It seemed like all I was doing was making him sigh. "I think you're a wonderful mother. I just don't agree with everything you do. However, they are your children. You've done a fantastic job so far. I'm not going to interfere with that."

"They're your children, too," I mumbled quietly.

"They're yours first. They came from _your _body."

I rested my head on his chest. "What do you disagree with?"

He put a hand to my hair softly, trying to comfort me without being overbearing. "Honey, you know I think you sometimes go overboard with the no pacifier rule, and the way you hate EJ's blanket, and the way you still put pillows around their beds in case they fall out, and in my opinion, a little television now and then won't hurt them…"

I groaned. In other words, he disagreed with nearly everything I stood for.

"But they're great kids," he continued. "I'm not going to keep you from doing something that's obviously working."

"But when we—" I suddenly stopped. No. I did not need to ask _that _question, while we were far away from the topic of marriage.

"Hmm?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"Nothing."

"What were you going to say?"

I sighed. "When we have another baby—in the very distant future—will you want to use pacifiers and security blankets and such?"

A dreamy smile suddenly crossed his face. "_She's havin' my baby,_" he sang lowly, sounding better than any singer I had ever heard in real life.

I suddenly smacked his shoulder. "Edward, stop! No, I'm not having your baby any time soon. Get over yourself."

He cringed and rubbed his skin. "Ouch, woman. You've been taking slapping lessons from Alice and Rosalie, huh?" He sighed. "I know it's not any time soon. But it _will_ happen. I'm sure of that." He leaned down to kiss my cheek. "Please don't begrudge me for being excited about that."

I crossed my arms and glared at him. "You didn't answer my question."

"My answer is," he murmured, kissing my nose, clearly trying to calm me down. "We will cross that bridge when we get there. Every baby is different. Evan is a perfectly happy baby boy and he doesn't have any security items. But they have to give him a pacifier just so he'll shut up every now and then. Of course, he does have the Emmett Cullen genes...anyway, we'll see, okay?"

"'Kay," I replied quietly.

He sprinkled kisses across my face as I pondered the entire night. He was using my tactic from earlier—kiss and make up—but I wasn't in the mood for it anymore. We had made up. That was enough. I couldn't handle anything else at the moment.

"I'm going to bed," I told him.

"Do you want me to come?"

"You can do whatever you want," I replied, climbing off his lap. "I'm not going to be much fun tonight. I'm just going to sleep."

"I'm sorry I made you upset," he said, almost in a whisper.

I sighed and pressed a quick kiss to his hair. "It's alright. I just need to sleep on it."

He watched me as I walked across the living room. "Good night, sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you, too," I mumbled.

I went into the bedroom and undressed for bed. Instead of wearing some of the cute little nightgowns and shorts sets he loved, I put on some of his boxers and one of his t-shirts. We may not have been the happiest couple that night, but I still loved to be surrounded by _him_. I slid into bed and turned off the light.

For some reason, I started to cry, and ended up falling asleep in a pool of my salty tears that had cultivated in the pillowcase.

I knew that this relationship would not be easy. I knew that from the get-go, and I decided to accept this risk. But sometimes it was just so damn _perfect_…it made it hard to accept the fact that we weren't perfect at all.

Of course we got over our little spat after a few days, and we were once again living in harmony. Sort of. We were mostly happy, and laughed and talked and played and flirted and made love well into the night, but I could see Edward's longing for matrimony. His hands would worry his hair whenever Alice and Jasper made wedding plans in front of us. That was inescapable, since the wedding was three months away. He would sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose whenever a Kay or Jared commercial would come on TV. One day I accidentally stumbled upon a little blue box that I immediately confronted him about. It was wrapped in silver paper with a red ribbon. What was I supposed to assume? When he blushed and showed me that I had discovered the pair of sapphire-and-diamond earrings he had bought me for Christmas, I felt awful. And he was just depressed.

"Why do you always assume things?" he asked me, sounding unbelievably exhausted and frustrated.

"What else was I supposed to assume?" I snapped back.

He sighed and shook his head, walking out of the house. He spent the night at his house, which was virtually unheard of for him. Abby cried for him at bedtime-actually, threw a huge terrible twos temper tantrum for him with shouting and stomping feet-which made _me _want to cry. I finally called him and had him come over to sing the bugs to sleep, but as soon as they were snoozing, he was back at his house.

And naturally, we got over that argument, too. But I knew that I was keeping something from him. I was keeping a vital part of his happiness from him. He wanted to be married, to "put a ring on it" as Eli said, to make sure that nothing could come between us.

And I wasn't ready for that, plain and simple. I said it a million times, but Edward never seemed to understand. I knew I could cave in and just agree to marry him to perk him up, but I didn't want to sour the marriage from the very beginning. We both had to be active participants in the marriage, so I thought that a wedding was a long way off.

Little did I know just how wrong my timing was. Life has a way of surprising you…

Okay, maybe _shock _is a better word.

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_Hmm...has anyone been keeping up with the months? If so, then you should know what's coming up._

_I heart reviews. I also heart Tweeting with my readers. Sarahcullen17ff_


	20. Bad Timing

**I know I promised my Tweethearts that this would be posted a week ago, but it's extremely long. Over 12,000 words. So I hope you understand why it's quite late. I love this chapter...it was fun to write.**

**I think some readers will be very, very happy with this chapter. *giggle*  
**

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**Chapter Eighteen: "Bad Timing" Edward's POV**

Babies really do have the worst timing. I think it's human nature to make everyone wait on you. Eventually as we grow older we become more considerate of other's schedules, but while we're still in that immature state of mind in which we only rely on our mothers and our instincts, we couldn't care less.

Not that I'm talking about one of _my _offspring. No, of course I was waiting on my nephew.

Bella and I had been spending our Saturday morning relaxing on the couch. EJ and Abby were cutting their second molars, so they weren't in the best of spirits. Bella had finally just given them enough Orajel and Baby Tylenol to knock them for a while, so while they napped, I watched television and she read a book with her feet in my lap. I was thinking about cuddling next to her and taking a nap when my phone rang.

"We're at the hospital," Emmett practically shouted into the phone. "Rose is screaming and is in a lot of pain and I don't know what to do."

I tried not to laugh at my big, brave brother's freak-out. "Okay, Em, calm down. First, where are you?"

"The hospital, dumbass!"

"No," I rolled my eyes. "Has Rosalie been checked in yet?"

"Yes, they're examining her."

"So where are you?"

"I'm in the hallway. Please, Edward, come to the hospital. I just don't know what to do. I need you. Rose needs Bella. Hell, I need Bella!"

"We're on our way," I assured him, already sitting up and pulling my shoes on. "Listen, as soon as you can go into the room with her, you need to. She needs you. Hold her hand, kiss her cheek, tell her you love her. Just support her. You're the strongest guy I know. You can do that. I'll see you in twenty minutes."

"She's kind of scaring me," he confessed.

"Why? Is there some kind of complication?"

"No! Rosalie is scary when she's in pain!"

I already knew _that._

Charlie came over to watch the twins while Bella and I went to the hospital. She bounced in her seat on the way, clearly excited about the family having a new bug to spoil. I was excited, too. This was my first nephew. I wasn't about to be the only daddy anymore. Plus, yeah, I was going to have a new bug to spoil. Might as well admit it.

To my surprise, Emmett was in the waiting room when I arrived. I wasn't surprised to see the rest of my family there, but I expected him to be with Rosalie.

"I think she's giving them problems," he explained, rubbing his face tiredly. "They're begging her to have an epidural because the baby is going to be big. She refuses to do it."

"That's Rosalie for you," I grinned, handing him a paper McDonald's sack. "Enjoy your Big Mac. I thought you would need some comfort food."

"You have no idea," he sighed, snatching it from me. "Hell hath no fury like a woman in labor."

"We're not that bad," Bella contradicted him, passing out food to the rest of our family members. Leave it to Bella to take care of everyone.

"_You_ weren't bad, because _you_ had an epidural," Dad grinned at his favorite future-daughter-in-law. _Not that it's official or anything._

Mom smacked him playfully. "I did it naturally, and I wasn't bad."

"Of course not, sweetheart," he said dryly—and unconvincingly.

A doctor came out into the waiting room. "Mr. Cullen?" she asked, looking around the room.

"That's me," Emmett nearly shouted as he jumped up, cramming the Big Mac into his mouth.

She smiled, clearly amused. "You can go join your partner now. She's ready for visitors. I think you're going to be here for a while."

"Great," Emmett mumbled around the Big Mac. "Wish me luck."

We all watched him as he disappeared down the hallway, and then we turned to each other, amused.

"Fifty bucks that he'll pass out by the time the kid comes," Jasper said slyly to Dad.

"You're on." They bumped fists.

"Time to get comfy," Bella announced, sitting next to me and resting her head on my shoulder. I kissed her forehead and leaned my head on hers.

"You guys are quiet," Mom observed, watching us.

"The horrors of teething have returned to the Cullen/Swan household," Bella yawned. "Abby tried to chew on my leg."

"Atta girl," Jasper chuckled.

"Oh, god!" Alice suddenly shouted. "Jazz, we have to find a way for the new baby to be in the wedding."

Jasper looked at his fiancée like she had horns growing out of her head. "Babe, he won't even be sitting up on his own."

"EJ is the ringbearer, and Abby is the flower girl…maybe EJ should just walk down the aisle with Abby, and Rose's baby can be the ringbearer," she mused. "Do they even make tuxedos for newborns?"

"Who will carry the baby down the aisle?" Bella asked practically.

Alice cringed. "You guys have to quit having life-altering events whenever I'm planning a wedding. First Bella's husband dies, and then he comes back to life, and then she gets a divorce, and now Rosalie is having a baby."

Bella winced, but luckily Jasper saved the day. "Well, this is the last wedding you're ever planning, if I have anything to say about it," he smiled at Alice, kissing her softly.

"I'm sure karma will pay Rose and Bella back when they're planning weddings," Mom said helpfully. "I bet we'll have another baby by the time they decide to get hitched."

"Or two," Dad added. "At the rate we're going."

"That's all on you, Alice," Bella commented, making me purse my lips to hide my frown.

"Oh, I don't know," Mom shrugged.

Bella opened her mouth to reply, but Emmett interrupted us. He was coming back into the living room, his eyes wide and fearful. "She needs the women," he squeaked as he came and flopped down in a chair.

"Is she okay?" everyone demanded, afraid of his expression.

"They said they've never seen a healthier pregnant woman," he nodded. "They also said they've never seen a bitchier one."

"Well, that figures," Jasper chuckled as the women ran off.

Indeed, we were in for a long night.

* * *

"I'm going to kill someone," Alice groaned as she dealt out a hand of cards to Jasper, Dad, and Mom. There's not much you can bring into a neonatal waiting room to entertain yourself with. Indeed, it was ten PM, and we were all tired, but there was no resting. Needless to say, the child of Rosalie and Emmett was going to make us wait a while. That really w_as_ in his nature.

"Tell me about it," Bella sighed, hiding her face in the denim covering my thighs. While the others played Bullshit, she and I were spread out in the plastic molded chairs, wearing the Snuggies that Alice had thoughtfully brought, and sipping cafeteria coffee. I was sort of relaxing between two aisles of chairs, my butt in one aisle and my legs spread out to the one facing me. Bella was taking up quite a few chairs as she laid her head in my lap. I soothingly stroked her long hair, trying to make her as comfortable as possible. I knew she was longing to go through our bedtime routine with EJ and Abby: bath, bedtime story, tucking in, goodnight kisses. She would probably even rock them both to sleep at the same time. Had it been anyone else's baby coming into the world, we would have stayed home and sent a nice bouquet of flowers with a balloon, but I w_as_ the uncle, and we w_ere _the godparents, after all. We were going to be the first to meet Carlisle Evenson Cullen out of the entire family.

"Bullshit," Jasper murmured, not even excited about calling Alice out on cheating anymore.

Alice sighed and said a word that was not very ladylike as she collected her cards, earning a stern glance of disapproval from our mother.

"I can't take this anymore," Bella announced, sitting up. "I've been trying to diet for that bridesmaid dress, but I'm going to go find something really junky and sugary in the vending machine. Anyone want anything?"

"I'll come with you," I offered, standing up with her. She smiled gratefully as I put an arm around her shoulder. There was a vending machine just around the corner, but she chose to walk to the other side of the hall just to stretch her legs.

Since our fight one month ago, we had been…different. We still loved each other passionately, of course, but we just weren't ourselves with each other. I wanted more out of our relationship. She wasn't ready to give it.

Story of our lives.

But I was determined to change that. I had decided a week ago that I was just going to shut up about marriage and let the chips fall as they may. Since I had made that decision, we had been better. She was happier now that I no longer dropped little hints. She was more affectionate. Even now, she squeezed my hand and gave me her sly little smile, a twinkle in her eye.

"What are you looking at?" I teased her as we approached the snack area.

"The father of my children," she shrugged. "I have to admit, it's entirely different to be in the waiting room and not the delivery room."

I chuckled. "Less painful?"

"Exponentially less painful," she grinned, leaning against the wall and looking up at me. "Is this bringing back memories for you?"

"A few," I admitted. "But I don't feel so much anxiety this time around. Rosalie is my sister, but she's not my reason for existence, so I'm not quite so worried. Even though I know that Evan will probably weigh more than EJ and Abby's birth weights combined. He _is_ Emmett's child, after all."

"Yeah, I don't envy Rosalie right now," she chuckled. "Please don't ever make me give birth to a future linebacker."

I laughed and bent down to kiss her, totally agreeing. My future sister-in-law was absolutely massive, and she claimed it was all baby. Emmett, Dad, and Jasper had a bet going about how much Evan would weigh. Emmett had bet forty dollars that his son would weigh over ten pounds. Somehow, I didn't have it in me to contradict him.

Bella murmured happily as we shared a soft kiss, letting me touch her face and hair. We had kissed a lot over the last month, but this was sweeter. More passionate. More _real._ We were leaving our differences behind us. We were okay. Marriage and children would come in due time.

"Have I ever thanked you for giving me the most perfect creatures in the world?" I whispered, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"I couldn't have done it without you."

"Yes, you could have," I insisted, kissing her again. "You're so strong."

"_You _are my strength."

I sighed happily and leaned my forehead against hers, watching her as she kept her eyes closed and her lips puckered. I chuckled and kissed her one more time. "Why, oh why, do babies come at nighttime?"

"I know, I want to go to bed, too," she pouted. "I miss our kids."

"I'm sure they're perfectly fine." I pulled her to my chest and looked over my head at the vending machine, surveying my options. It looked like a Snickers was the winner.

"But the teething—"

"They're fine."

"I know," she sighed. "I just…yeah. I think I want a Butterfinger bar."

I rolled my eyes at her "doting mother" traits and pulled out my wallet. A few minutes later, our bellies were somewhat full and we were back in the waiting room. Bella gave up and curled back up in her Snuggie, sitting in my lap and resting her face in my neck. I noticed that Mom was in a similar position with Dad.

Well, it was actually closer to eleven PM now…we were a relatively boring bunch. We _would _be tired so early into the night.

I held Bella as she catnapped and watched the quiet television set in the corner. My mind kept wandering, though. I couldn't deny that my life had really begun in this very room—the night that EJ and Abby were born. It gave me a sense of sweet nostalgia. However, what I had told Bella was true: that this wasn't nearly as nerve-wracking. That night two years ago had been such a rush of emotions for me: happiness for Bella, sorrow for Bella, anxiety for Bella and the twins, regret for myself that I wasn't the biological father of the children. And, of course, total adoration when I saw Abby and EJ's beautiful faces.

I really, really, really wanted to feel those emotions again. Happiness and anxiety on my wedding day. Happiness and anxiety in the delivery room again. But instead all I felt was sorrow and regret.

Don't get me wrong—Bella made me so, so happy. I just wanted more. Who could fault me for that?

Besides Bella herself.

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes.

I don't know how long I slept, except that I suddenly was being shaken by a pair of very large hands. "Wake up, Uncle Eddie!" Emmett shouted. "He's here! He's here!"

My eyes flew open. I saw Emmett in delivery room garb standing above me, a huge smile on his face. It was such a relief to see it after the pure panic I had seen when we arrived at the hospital. Apparently things had gone well. My family members were all bouncing in their seats.

"Come on," he begged me, yanking me up. "He has to meet his uncle—his godfather. Bella is already back there."

Feeling suddenly energized at meeting my first nephew, I followed the proud papa into his fiancée's recovery room. "Is he perfect?" I asked Em.

"Beyond perfect," he gushed, looking star-struck. "Ten pounds and eight ounces."

"Holy—"

I edited myself as he opened the door to Rosalie's room. I saw Rose in the bed, not looking at all like the glamour girl she usually was, and Bella sitting on the side of the bed. In Bella's arms was a little blue bundle.

"Hi, Uncle Eddie," Rose said softly. I was shocked to see bruising under her eyes—obviously labor had been extremely difficult. Stealing a glance at the clock, I nearly gasped when I saw it was three AM.

"Hi, Mama Rose," I replied. "How are you feeling?"

"Relieved," she admitted. "Finally on pain medication. I, um, broke my blood vessels in my face."

"She screamed so much," Emmett chuckled.

"Try pushing a ten pounder out of your body," Rose rolled her eyes, but she still smiled. "I felt awful because Bella didn't scream hardly at all."

"I had an epidural," Bella reminded her, fussing over the baby in her arms. "You were too stubborn for that. Oh, Evan, you are too adorable. Watch out, girls of the world."

"It was worth it," Rose shrugged.

I stepped over behind Bella and peered down into the face of Baby Carlisle Evenson Cullen. "Oh my god," I gasped. "Rose, Em, he's beautiful."

"Don't call my son beautiful," Emmett laughed, kissing Rosalie sweetly. "He's _handsome_."

"Handsome indeed," I agreed. And he was. Evan was the third most beautiful baby I had ever seen—only after Abby and EJ, of course. He was completely bald, but he had big brown eyes framed by brown eyelashes and he already had dimples without even being able to smile yet. He looked just like my brother. "Looks like you're making some money, Emmett. The kiddo is huge."

"Did you bet on our son?" Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Of course. I_ told_ them he would be over ten pounds."

"Big baby," Bella cooed, kissing his face. "You are way too cute for your own good. You look way too much like your daddy for your own good, too."

"I can't believe I ended up with two gorgeous men," Rose gloated.

I put an arm around Bella's shoulders and stared at Evan. "Hey, little guy," I greeted him. "I'm your Uncle Eddie. I'm the only sane one in this entire family. Wait until you meet my kiddos."

"Abby will have a fit," Bella nodded. "You look just like a baby doll."

"Look at those fat rolls," I snorted. "Your mama has been feeding you good for the past nine months."

"I've made sure of that," Emmett smiled, kissing Rosalie again. Obviously the baby hadn't had any strain on their relationship—yet. I could only imagine what would happen when they went a week without sleep.

I carefully took Evan from my arms and cradled him to my chest, loving the way he filled my arms. Abby and EJ were so big now—he weighed thirty pounds and she weighed twenty-six. Evan was an entirely different feeling. He felt so small and light compared to the babies I was used to picking up, and he was so _cuddly_. My kids were definitely in their terrible twos, way too busy to be bothered with a ton of snuggling. But Evan was perfect for this.

God, I missed this.

"Congratulations, guys," I told them as I gave my nephew a first kiss on the forehead. "He's perfect, you're perfect. I'm already in love with him. Good job."

"Thank you," they chorused, smiling proudly. I had seriously never seen Emmett look so happy.

"Looks like you got a Mini-Me," I joked with Emmett.

He laughed loudly and gently took his son from my arms. "I think you're right," he admitted, watching his son lovingly. I wondered if I had the same expression on my face whenever I held my own children.

Evan began to whine softly, and Rosalie reached for him, clearly ready to nurse. I excused myself from the room, Bella on my heels. Em and Rose deserved that special moment to themselves. Before I left, I kissed Rosalie's cheek. "I'm proud of you, little sis," I told her quietly.

She gave me a dazzling smile.

"He's amazing," Bella gushed as we walked back to the waiting room.

"I know," I admitted wistfully, trying to keep the envy out of my voice.

* * *

Evan wasn't the only big part of December, though. Christmas came along, and I had never seen Bella so excited. She hadn't had a good Christmas in two years, thanks to the "death" of her husband and then his return. So I tried to be as festive as possible. EJ and Abby were too small to really understand it, but they loved the Christmas tree with all of the ornaments and lights, and they really liked to watch me hang Christmas lights on the outside of the house. When I lit everything up, they clapped and cheered for me and then cried when we took them inside out of the cold. They wanted to stare at the lights all night long. I knew it would be a disaster when we took the decorations down.

There was something about the holidays that brought out the best in Bella. I loved to watch her dance around the house in sweaters, singing Christmas carols and hanging mistletoe. She was like some little holiday fairy, always baking cookies and wrapping gifts. She was planning on getting a job after New Year's, so she spent as much of her money as she could on presents for the family, mainly EJ and Abby. I didn't think it was a good financial strategy, but I wasn't about to rain on her parade when she was so happy. We had a closetful of gifts. Every time Abby and EJ ran into our bedroom, she would freak out and go lock the closet. I found it endlessly amusing to watch my little Mrs. Claus.

We planned to spend Christmas Eve at my parents' house, as was the Cullen tradition. Though Mom constantly told Bella not to bring anything, my love ignored her. I played with the bugs all day while Bella cooked in the kitchen. Rosalie and Emmett, the sleep-deprived new parents, came to our house to crash so I could watch Evan and Bella could cook whatever Rosalie wanted to take.

"Mis-toe! Mis-toe!" EJ greeted Rose as she lethargically walked through our front doorway, carrying not-so-little Evan who looked even chunkier than usual thanks to the multiple layers of clothes he was wearing to keep warm.

"Are you calling me Miss Toe?" Rosalie asked, a confused expression on her tired face. "That's not a very nice name for a lady."

"Mis-toe," he insisted, pointing to the bustle of mistletoe hanging from the doorway. "Kiss me, Aunt Leigh."

"Oh, jeez, you are so cute," Rosalie giggled, bending to give him some kisses. "I hope Evan gets over his whiney stage and grows into a kid as cute as you. I bet Daddy taught you that trick, didn't you?"

"Where else would he learn it from?" Bella chuckled, giving Rosalie and Evan kisses. "Edward insisted on hanging the stuff everywhere. I can't move an inch without having to give kisses to Edward and EJ. Speaking of…" She turned and pecked my lips.

"Mistletoe isn't so bad, after all," I teased her.

Emmett came through the door, carrying a diaper bag and a bag of toys. "I like mistletoe, too," he said flatly. "But I like a bed even more. Which is why I'm taking yours, Bella."

"You and Rose can go to my house to nap," I offered. "It's quiet there."

"You haven't put your house on the market yet?" Emmett asked in surprise.

I shrugged. "Bella and I are still trying to figure out the housing arrangement. We're thinking of just selling both our houses and buying a new house closer to Charlie."

"Or we may just sell mine and take Edward's," Bella shrugged. "We have a lot to think about."

"You don't want to keep a two-bedroom house, do you?" Rose asked.

"Why wouldn't we?" Bella asked quickly—and much too sensitively.

"Don't you need more bedrooms?"

"For who?" Bella snapped.

Rose gave her a funny look. "For EJ and Abby when they're older. They're not going to want to be roomies forever. Jazz and I shared a room until he started school, and then that was it. We couldn't stand it anymore."

"Maybe," Bella shrugged. "I want my kids to be best friends."

"You can love from a distance…or from down the hallway," Rose commented lightly. "I brought groceries for a casserole and a chocolate pie. Do you mind making them for me?"

Bella finally smiled. "That's why I invited you over. I cook, Edward babysits, you and Emmett rest. Go over to Edward's house. It's quiet, his bed is better than mine, and I won't have to change the sheets."

"Oh, damn," Emmett said teasingly. "Why would you have to change the sheets, little sister?"

Bella blushed, making me smile. "It's all common courtesy, you pervert," she stammered.

"Yeah, right. He's been donating swimmers to your baby-maker."

"Why does everyone keep mentioning babies to me?" Bella exclaimed, scooping Abby up. "Can't you people see I clearly have my hands full as it is?"

Emmett gave her a funny look. "Jeez, woman, calm down. It's just a common term for the female anatomy."

My girlfriend sighed and nodded. "I know, Em. I'm sorry."

"You're fine," Emmett grinned at her. "I'm dealing with much more crap from Rose right now, which is why I'm sending her to bed. Honey, give Edward the baby, and let's go take a nap."

I eagerly accepted my nephew from Rosalie. His little cheeks were flushed from the heat of the house, so I started to remove the many layers of clothes. "Overprotective much?" I teased them.

"It's supposed to snow tonight," Rosalie explained. "The last thing I need is colic to worry about. He's already eaten, so if he acts hungry, try to just give him the pacifier. He always needs something to suck on…he prefers Mommy, but I'm off-duty today. There are diapers…and bottles of breastmilk…in the bag. Em, go put the bottles in the fridge."

After they left, I took my three favorite babysitting charges into the living room, chewing my lip nervously as I thought of snow. I was a natural worrier, of course, and I hated having to worry about the weather because there was nothing I could do to control it. As I peeled clothes off of Evan until he was just in a cool sleeper, I walked to the window and looked out at the sky. It was blue, but with the telltale snow-clouds that looked thicker than they did this morning.

"Alright, Emmett Junior," I said as I sat on the couch with him in my arms. "Let's hope that we don't end up camping out at Nana's house tonight."

"I wanna see baby!" Abby announced, running to me with wide eyes.

I laughed and patted the spot next to me. "Okay, love, come here."

She clumsily climbed up on the sofa with me and snuggled into my side, looking at her cousin. "Baby," she giggled gleefully, touching his face.

Evan gurgled in response.

"Can you say _Baby Evan_?" I asked her, listening to Bella move about in the kitchen. Delicious smells had been coming from that room all day, tempting me greatly.

"Baby Evan," she repeated proudly, leaning down to give him a kiss.

"Careful, Abby-bug," I cautioned as she pulled on his hand. "He's little."

"Little baby," she agreed. "Abby hold Baby?"

God, I loved her sentences. She was such a sweet child, and so intelligent. "Sure," I said. "Sit down next to Daddy and hold your arms out."

"Abby_ is_ sit down," she argued, glaring at me.

"On your bottom, Abby."

She sighed and sat on her diaper, extending her arms. I very gently put Evan across her lap, using a couch cushion to support his head. My hands never left him while she "held" him, but I could tell by the look on her face that she felt like a _very_ big girl.

Evan tolerated the experiment for a few minutes before he started to whine again. Abby's eyes widened and she looked up at me in fear. "You're okay, baby girl," I assured her, kissing her forehead as I picked him back up. "He's probably either hungry or wet or dirty or just complaining."

I moved to the rocking chair and slowly rocked him back and forth. "Abby, can you be Daddy's helper and bring me the diaper bag?" I pointed at the blue bag on the couch.

"Yes!" She pulled the zipped bag off the couch and dragged it to me. Cradling Evan, I bent down to search for the pacifier, like Rose had suggested. He was happy to suckle the pacifier as I rocked him.

EJ toddled into the living room, blanket and toy car in hand. "Car for Baby," he grinned at me, placing the toy on Evan's belly.

I laughed. "Thank you, son. You're a big help, too."

They just sat and watched me as I rocked Evan. He watched them, too, almost in awe. I was perfectly content until he expelled the pacifier from his mouth and started to cry. I used every trick I could think of—pacifier back in mouth, diaper check, burping, rocking and singing, even rubbing his back and feet. But nothing was working.

Bella finally took pity on me and came into the living room. "He probably misses his mommy," she said quietly. "He's never been without her for this long. Can you believe that? Rosalie is wearing herself out. Let me see him."

As soon as he was passed to Bella, he burrowed down into her chest and quieted down as she started to sing. She took my spot in the rocker and started to sing one of the many lullabies she and I had perfected.

"A mother's touch," she smiled as he stared up at her. "That's all you need, right, honey? Well, maybe not a touch, but just a breast."

"I think you're right about that," I concurred, watching the way he hunkered down next to her heart. "You definitely have assets I can't offer."

"It's comforting to a child," she shrugged, and I remembered the way that EJ and Abby could be calmed down by her…er, curves. They still could, to be honest. She always claimed that I was better at putting them to sleep, but it was only my lullabies. They definitely preferred to cuddle with her. "I've read many times that it is the most motherly part of their mothers."

"I tend to be a breast man as well," I replied flirtily, kissing her cheek. While she comforted Evan, I sat down and watched. Abby and EJ scrambled into my lap, clearly jealous that their mommy was holding another child, but I didn't pay much attention to them. I just watched her. She looked so beautiful and strong with the future linebacker in her arms. Nothing filled a woman's arms like a baby. They were designed for that sort of weight. Also, I swear that Bella _glowed_ as she tended to Evan's needs. He was an adorable child—Emmett Cullen condensed into twelve pounds, with Rosalie's lips and ears—but she was enchanted by him.

And Evan was enchanted by _her_. He just watched her as she sang and cooed to him, his mouth open. When she touched his face, he grasped her finger and refused to let it go.

I didn't blame him. Bella was the most enchanting woman I had ever met.

"That's a sweet boy," Bella finally said softly after he was soundly asleep. "Edward, will you put him in the portable crib? It's stored in the bugs' closet."

I went and fetched it for her, set it up, and then tucked my nephew into it. After we were sure he was safe and comfortable, Bella turned to our bugs.

"It's naptime," she told them gently.

"No, Mama!" EJ complained loudly, his grumpiness signaling that no matter what he said, he really did need a nap.

"Shh," she warned him. "Evan is asleep. If you don't take a nap, we don't go see Nana tonight."

_That_ worked. They quickly ran to their bedroom, making us laugh.

"I'm going to make sure they actually go to bed," Bella chuckled. "I'll be right back."

I stood in the living room, watching Evan sleep peacefully, while she tucked the bugs in for their nap. When she returned, she wrapped her arms around my waist. "You're standing under some mistletoe," she remarked slyly.

I looked above me at the empty ceiling. "No, I'm not."

"It's invisible," she explained in a coy tone.

I tucked her into a hug, touching her cheek. "Then why can't I see it?"

"Only mommies can see it."

"Oh, well then far be it from me to break the rules of mistletoe," I said, appeasing her perfectly as my lips touched hers.

"Yeah, they're sacred rules," she murmured between kisses.

I took as much advantage of her good holiday spirits as I could before she pulled away with a sigh. "I have to finish cooking," she explained.

"I'll help."

That night, we pulled up to my parents' house with a car full of food and gifts. Rose, Em, and Evan were behind us in the Jeep. They already looked much more rested just after those few hours of sleep. I could remember those days…and EJ and Abby weren't even mine during the sleepless days of parenting.

It was a wonderful Christmas Eve with my family. Charlie had come to the house, so Bella's family was represented as well. We had way too much food and a rich gift exchange. EJ, Abby, and Evan earned more gifts than anyone, of course, but no one would have it any other way. Finally, at about eleven PM, when Rose and Emmett had already left and EJ and Abby were already asleep, Bella called it a night.

"We have to play Santa tonight," she said with a twinkle in her eye.

Charlie gave us a worried look. "Edward, are there snow chains on your car?" he asked gruffly.

"Yes, sir," I replied. "I put them on before we left. I wouldn't let Bella even think about putting herself or our children in the car without them."

"Good man," he said approvingly. "It's looking pretty nasty out there."

I had to agree. Already there were light snow flurries. The dark sky was thick with clouds that were blowing with the rapid wind.

"Let's go home, love," I whispered in Bella's ear, motioning to the window.

I drove very carefully through the snow. Abby and EJ, bless their hearts, didn't even wake up as we drove, which I was grateful for. I didn't even have the radio on and Bella wasn't even talking. I needed all the concentration I could have.

Bella breathed a sigh of relief when we made it home, and leaned over and kissed me gratefully. I helped her cover the kids in blankets before we took them out of the car, through the cold air, and into the house. Snuggling EJ into my chest, I quickly turned the heat in the house on and then joined Bella in the nursery. I smiled as I saw her pulling out fleece footie pajamas for the kids, Abby asleep on her shoulder.

"I want them to be warm," she explained as we laid the kids down on a bed and started to undress them. They didn't even stir—they were so worn out after such a big night. "Can you find some extra blankets?"

I understood her apprehension. Bella's house was a little on the old side, and it was hard to heat. Yet another reason to sell it, because Washington was being faced with a hard, cold winter. After I changed EJ's wet diaper and put him in his pajamas, I tucked him in and went to the linen closet to find a couple of blankets.

"Thank you," she said gratefully, taking one from me as she tucked Abby in. I made sure that EJ was swathed in blankets yet still able to free himself in case he grew too warm. After I was sure he was fine, I put a sippy cup of water on his bedside table and kissed his cheeks. "Night night, sweet boy," I whispered to him. "Daddy loves you."

Bella and I switched bugs. After I kissed Abby, we slowly backed out of the room and retreated to the bedroom. I was exhausted, but we had gifts to put under the tree. Luckily Bella had already wrapped them all, so we could just arrange them. When the gifts were all picture-perfect under the Christmas tree, she stepped back and surveyed the scene, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"I love Christmas," she sighed happily.

"And I love _you_," I said, kissing her softly.

She smiled and lightly touched my lips with her tongue. "I have a gift to give you tonight."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, sir. Why don't you go to bed while I slip into something more…_comfortable_?"

"Does this gift involve that Victoria's Secret bag you tried to hide from me in the closet?"

A look of panic washed over her face. "You didn't look in it, did you?"

I chuckled and kissed her temple reassuringly. "No, I knew better than that. I'm a little afraid of you sometimes."

She playfully smacked my bottom. "Good. Now go to bed."

It was actually a very _hot _Christmas Eve.

* * *

Christmas, however, did not seem to go as planned.

I woke up early to make a special breakfast and was surprised to find that my wife was not in bed with me. There was a heavy chill in the air, a signal that I needed to get up and turn the heat on. It was still early morning—only seven fifteen—so the sun had zero effect on warming the air so far.

I rolled out of bed and looked out the window in amazement. There was a thick, shimmering blanket of snow on the ground. The stuff was _everywhere_. I couldn't believe it had snowed so hard and so _much _in one night. But my skin could definitely believe it—it was _freezing_. I quickly pulled some flannel sleep pants and a Henley shirt on, found some socks, and walked to the thermostat.

Most of all, though, I was surprised to hear a horrible sound coming from the bathroom.

I turned the heat up a few notches and ran to the bathroom. Bella was in the floor, bent over the toilet, vomiting violently. Like lightning speed, I was kneeling beside her, gathering her long hair out of her face and pulling it into a ponytail. "Thank you," she whispered before heaving again, emptying her belly of the rich Christmas Eve food.

I pressed a kiss to the back of her clammy neck as I used a ponytail holder to tie her hair back. After that, I found a washcloth and wet it in cold water. She used it to press to her face while I fetched a glass of water.

"Drink," I commanded gently, handing her the water as she slumped against the wall.

"I hope it wasn't any of the food I made," she sighed as she sipped at the water. "I would feel awful if someone else got sick because of my food."

"Do you feel like you can go lay down?" I prodded, rubbing her back as she hung her head between her knees.

"Yeah…I'm just so _tired_…"

"You can rest," I told her, gently picking her up so she wouldn't be jostled. She relaxed in my arms as I cradled her against my chest. "I'll bring you water and a trash can."

She let me tuck her into bed. I propped her up against the pillows and made sure she was perfectly warm. After I brought her the promised items, she snuggled into my chest and sighed. "I don't want to ruin Christmas for you and our babies. Stupid virus."

"You aren't ruining Christmas," I replied honestly, kissing her forehead. "The kids won't be up for a while, so you can just rest. I'll find you some Pepto-Bismol and you can just rest and maybe you'll feel better sometime today. They don't know what 'Christmas morning' means yet."

She immediately pushed me away so she could lean over the side of the bed and vomit into the trash can. I knew she wouldn't be able to hold down anything—not even Pepto—so I just let her worm her way back into my arms, and while she rested and tried to calm her stomach, I stroked her head and rubbed her back. She eventually went back to sleep. Not wanting to wake her, I left the bedroom and went into the kitchen to call my mom. For some reason, I had a sinking feeling about this "virus."

"Hey, sweetie," mom greeted me. "Merry Christmas!"

"Hey, Mom," I replied. "Um…it's not such a merry Christmas. Listen, have you or Dad felt any…nausea today?"

She paused. "What? No. Why?"

"Bella's sick," I explained, my stomach starting to tighten with nerves. "She woke up vomiting. She's asleep now, but I'm worried about her."

"Are the kids sick?"

"They're still asleep. And I'm fine."

"Well, Alice and Jasper spent the night with us," she said slowly, "and they aren't sick. I talked to Emmett earlier and they're doing fine, too. It's just Bella. Does she have a fever?"

"No."

"Sore throat? Runny nose? Body aches?"

"No," I said, now feeling much more than tightening in my stomach. I had full-on _butterflies_. "She's complaining that she's tired, but we, um, stayed up late last night."

"I see," Mom murmured. "And answer me this question, Edward: how often do you two s_tay up late_?"

"She's on birth control," I replied.

"She was on birth control with EJ and Abby, too."

_ Leave it to my mother to rain on my parade._

"It's just a thought," she said quickly. "I mean, it could just be a twenty-four hour bug or something. Maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions…"

But I had to admit that my mother's conclusions were usually correct.

Bella woke up again before EJ and Abby did. She joined me in the kitchen and immediately went to the refrigerator for some cheese and crackers. I watched her skeptically as she nearly wolfed down the food. "What?" she asked me, her mouth full.

I shook my head as I observed her. "Feeling better?"

She swallowed her food and nodded. "Yeah, I do. I guess something just didn't sit well at dinner last night."

I continued to watch her as I made a glass of Sprite. She seemed to be thoroughly enjoying that, too.

If Bella had the same hypothesis I did, she wasn't showing it. After the cheese and crackers, she decided she could keep down a bowl of Corn Flakes. It was a silly idea, in my opinion, but she kept it down just fine.

"I think we're snowed in," I said dryly as I made myself a cup of coffee and my own bowl of cereal. _So much for a special breakfast._

"I saw that. I don't think I've seen so much snow from one night," she remarked. "At least we have plenty of groceries until they clear the streets. We're lucky that we went shopping a few nights ago."

"We are indeed. I just hope the power doesn't go out. We need heat."

She shivered delicately, and I didn't have to be a mind-reader to see that she was imagining our bugs roughing it in the cold.

After breakfast, I led her to the couch and made her lay down. She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm fine, Edward," she assured me. "I just had something that needed to come back up. I don't have any fever or anything."

_I know. That's what worries me, sweetie._

We were interrupted by two bugs running into the living room. They looked so cute in their little footie pajamas, and I found myself extremely grateful that the feet had resistance on them, especially when Abby pushed EJ down. "Ee-ay!" she squealed. "Move!" At least the always-present blankey cushioned his fall.

"Be nice, Abby," Bella scolded halfheartedly, holding her arms open for them. They collided in her arms, giving her kisses.

"Morning, Mama!" they cooed.

"Good morning," she greeted them. "Are you guys ready to open presents?"

"Not yet, they aren't," I growled as I placed my coffee cup on the side table and tackled them to the ground. They giggled as I hovered over them, effectively pinning them down and covering their faces with kisses.

Bella laughed musically. "You guys are so silly. Daddy is better than presents, huh? Come on, Edward, I'm ready to see their faces when they see all of their loot."

"You make them sound like pirates," I chuckled as I sat up, pulling them up with me. "Well, take off, kiddos."

They stared at me, uncomprehending.

"Maybe they need a little help," Bella rolled her eyes, swatting me over the head with a pillow. My energetic angel was back, unhindered by any sickness she had in the morning. I wasn't quite ready to classify it as_ morning sickness_ yet. She stood up and went to the tree, grabbing two boxes. "EJ, Abby, come open gifts with Mommy."

They obviously remembered what to do from the night at Nana and Doc's, because they immediately grabbed them from her and ripped the paper off. Bella laughed and sat in the floor next to me, curled into my side as they opened their gifts. Watching their faces light up and hearing their delighted screeches were enough to make me happy for the rest of my life, no questions asked. Toy after toy and outfit after outfit and nursery accessory after nursery accessory, they were just all the more thrilled.

Bella really had spent too much money. But I didn't dare say anything—it was her money, and they were her kids. First and foremost.

I turned and kissed Bella's soft cheek. "Here, love," I whispered into her skin, pushing a stack of presents I had wrapped into her arm's reach.

She looked up at me disapprovingly. "Edward, you shouldn't have."

"But I did, so what are you going to do about it?" I teased her, kissing her lips. "Just let me enjoy the moment."

"Baby!" Abby suddenly screamed in excitement. "New baby!"

My head whipped around, and in relief, I saw that she had just opened a baby doll. I wasn't really sure what I was expecting—Bella with a newly-grown baby bump, or maybe a newborn in her lap? It was a silly moment on my part, but it made my heart pound.

_Baby. New baby._

"Look at the new baby, Abby," Bella said enthusiastically, skillfully opening the box with a butter-knife. "She has clothes and shoes and a pacifier like Baby Evan. And she has a baby bed."

"Open," Abby begged. "Please? My baby!"

"Isn't she pretty?" Bella smiled as she untied those annoying little plastic things that keep toys secured to the boxes. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Daddy," EJ said, showing me a box. "Look! Truck!"

"Ooh, a dump truck," I said. "With little construction men. It makes noise, too."

"Open," he pled with me, even giving me a kiss for good measure.  
Bella didn't want to open gifts until the kids were finished. Finally, the living room was a sea of crumpled wrapping paper, ribbons, cardboard boxes, plastic ties, and outfits and shoes that weren't as interesting as the toys. It took an hour just to figure out how to open everything, and then it was time to unleash the two-year-olds. They jumped from toy to toy, making more happy noise than I had ever heard from them in my life. I knew we had a mess, but I didn't quite have it in me to care.

"Come on," I begged my love, pulling her into my lap. "Please open?"

She grinned at me, kissed the corner of my mouth, and reached behind the tree. "Only if you open the ones I got you."

"Bella, this is ridiculous," I grumbled as I saw all of the presents, especially one rather large rectangle.

"No, it's not. You'll see what the big one is. I didn't spend hardly any money on it. But you have to open it last, because it's the best." She eagerly grabbed the little box from my pile.

"Well, if that's the case, then _you _have to save the best for last," I replied, taking the box from her hands. "Sorry, love."

"Edward Anthony Cullen, if that is an engagement ring—"

I shut her up with a kiss. "It's not. I'm not that stupid. Come on."

She smiled, finally placated, and took another box. We opened gifts slowly, each stopping to watch the other's face as a new present was revealed. She loved the earrings she had already discovered, the _Gone with the Wind _books and special edition DVD, the various CDs and novels, and the framed portraits of the twins. She tried to snatch away the little box, but I pocketed it until I finished opening my gifts. She gave me a few typical things: some new neckties, an iTunes gift certificate. There was also a guitar, which I was extremely surprised to see.

"How did you—"

She kissed my neck. "Esme told me that you used to play, but you gave it up after you went to college. I didn't know if you would want to play again, but I was selfish enough that I thought I would like to hear you play."

I strummed the B string thoughtfully. It was out of tune, but I could easily fix that. "I don't know how good I am anymore," I admitted.

Her smile disappeared. "You don't like it."

"No, I love it!" I said quickly. "I just don't want to disappoint you if I don't remember anything."

"I won't be disappointed. I'll just make you learn something."

I laughed and kissed her lips greedily. "I love it, sweetie. Thank you. I never thought I would pick up a guitar again because it's been so long."

"Not that long," she argued. "You're a natural musician. It will come to you. I know you feel self-conscious about your music because you love it so, but I want you to know that we're comfortable enough with each other to try these things with."

I was moving out of my comfort zone with the guitar. I truly loved to play, just like I loved to play my piano. But I knew I was good at the piano. I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of Bella if I didn't remember how to methodically move my fingers in order to strum and specify notes. But still, I loved the gesture she made. She felt comfortable pulling me out of my comfort zone, so I would try to feel comfortable with stepping out of it for her.

"Which leads me to my last gift," she said, handing me the big flat rectangle. "Be careful with it. You haven't played the guitar in years, and that inspired me to do something I haven't done in years. I almost just threw this away, but tit for tat, right? Just know that you have to play me a song now."

I had no idea what it could be, but I carefully started to peel back the paper.

"If you can be creative, I can try to be creative," she muttered, blushing. "Alice, at least, loved it."

My mouth fell open as I saw the canvas when the paper fell away. On the canvas was a portrait, painted in acrylic paint, of our children. It was duplicated from a photo she had taken when they were small babies, and if I couldn't see the strokes of the paint, I would dare say that this was indeed a photo. The detail of the painting was so intricate, so elaborate, I could literally just gape. I didn't even think he painted it until I saw her signature in the bottom right corner, along with a date. She had completed it last week.

I had no idea that she was so talented, but I vaguely remembered a conversation we had shared early on in our friendship, when she was on bed-rest.

_ I gave her a small smile. "Tell me something you're good at. Besides cooking, because I know you're great at it."_

_ She bit her lip in thought. "Um…I like to draw," she admitted. "I took art classes in high school and college. I always had A's, too."_

_ "Bella Black, an artist," I mused. "I would have never guessed."_

_ "Why?" she teased me. "Am I not __artistic__ enough?"_

_ "I'm not saying that," I replied with a grin. "Just that you don't flaunt it like my mother and sister."_

_ She shrugged. "I'm not as confident…or talented…or beautiful…as Esme and Alice."_

"You hate it," she winced. "Oh, dear, I knew Alice was lying to me. I'm sorry—"

I put two fingers over her lips. "Bella?"

"Yes?" she squeaked.

"Why haven't you pursued art? Do you know how much money you could make off of paintings like these?"

Blood filled her cheeks. "Oh, no, no one would pay for this."

"_I _would. I would commission you to decorate my entire office with paintings like these. Oh my god, sweetie. I love it. I had no idea what amount of talent you had in those hands. I've never even seen you doodle."

She shrugged, blushing even more. "I gave it up after college…but I'm not even that good. But I'm glad you like it, Edward. Where do you want to hang it?"

"This is better than stuff I've seen in museums," I mused, staring at the perfection of it. I could see the individual hairs on the bugs' heads, the different shades of brown in their irises, the glints of the light on their pearly little teeth. Abby even had a flush on her cheeks, much like her mother's. EJ's one little freckle on the bottom of his foot was even there. "I want it in my office, where everyone can see it."

"Oh, god, I should have put restrictions on where we could hang it," she groaned, burying her face in my shoulder.

"No. I want it in my office." I wrapped my arms around her midsection, feeling her flat stomach, and rested my chin on her shoulder. "God, that's beautiful. Please tell me you'll do more paintings for me."

"Of what?"

"Of anything." I turned my face into her neck and kissed it softly. "I want one to hang over my piano whenever we decide to buy a new house. So when I compose, I'll have some inspiration to look at."

"I'll have to think about it," she murmured thoughtfully. "Can I have my gift now?"

I smiled and handed her the small jewelry box. "It isn't nearly as spectacular as yours," I said self-consciously, "but I found it and I thought you would like it."

"I hope you didn't spend a lot of money," she gritted her teeth as she wrestled with the blue bow.

I chuckled and helped her untie it. "Don't worry, I didn't," I reassured her. "I found it in an antique store."

She finally unwrapped and opened the small velvet box. She smiled when she saw the little gold watch hanging on a chain, but then looked at me with a confused expression on her face.

"It's beautiful," she said, stroking the tiny clock that I had fashioned into a necklace on a long gold chain, "but it's really random. I'm not sure I get it."

I laughed and ran my hands through her hair. "It's more of a symbol than anything, love. I know that more than anything, you want time before we commit for eternity. Time to heal, time to relax, time to enjoy just being a couple in love. And buy giving you this necklace, I'm letting you know that I'm giving you that time. I'm not going to pressure you anymore. I'm just going to enjoy my time with you. That's what's important."

She inhaled sharply, and I looked up at her face to see her blinking back tears. "Really?" she whispered.

I nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled and twisted in my lap to throw her arms around my neck. "God, I love you."

"I love you, too," I replied, rubbing her back. "So, so much."

* * *

Christmas wasn't as fun for adults, especially when they had a mountain of paper and cardboard to clean up, but it was a very memorable and beautiful holiday. Abby and EJ were so unbelievably happy. I drank in each smile and giggle as they played with their new toys—EJ running around the house with his Buzz Lightyear action figure, Abby playing dress-up in her Disney Princess clothes. Bella and I were content to play with them all day.

I was in the floor, helping Abby take care of her new baby doll (that actually had a lot more than a crib—she also had a stroller and a potty) when Bella looked out the kitchen window. She was making vegetable soup. "Wow, Edward, have you seen the snow?" she asked in amazement.

I stood up, earning a whine of disapproval from Abby, and gasped. "Holy crow," I said, whistling. "That's a _lot_ of snow."

"I'm tempted to let the bugs sleep with us tonight, just in case the power goes out," she said worriedly, biting her lip.

I sat back down with Abby, turning off the Christmas music to listen to the snow fall. It was coming down steadily and heavily. I wanted to go play in it with the kids, but I knew it would be way too cold and slippery. It didn't look safe out there.

"Daddy, look," Abby begged, holding up her baby doll. "My baby wants ju-ju."

I picked up the plastic bottle of the orange disappearing liquid and handed it to her. She skillfully cradled her baby close and pushed the bottle into its plastic lips.

I watched her nervously as she cared for her baby—not because I was upset over her maternal instincts or anything like that, but because I was just being petty. Even my daughter had a baby to cradle and rock and love on. I certainly had two babies, but they weren't…_babies_. _Maybe the birth of Evan has just given me baby fever,_ I thought, trying to shake the thoughts off.

But I watched Bella dance around the kitchen, her stomach still flat and her figure still perfectly slim. I didn't know why, but for some reason, I couldn't stop picturing her belly swollen with a child. _My _child. My mind kept flashing back to her strange "virus" this morning, and my conversation with my mother.

It was true that while she was on birth control, she had definitely conceived the bugs whilst on the Pill.

However, she didn't experience morning sickness until late in the pregnancy. Why would she be experiencing it now, when she was so obviously thin and happy?

Well…was she happy? I thought back to her inexplicable mood swings. Emmett had joked that she was on a month-long period. Except my Bella never grew hormonal from PMS or anything like that. She was usually able to fight through the "blah" (as she called it) and be happy. But now she was going from happy to sad to quiet to loud to…

My head was spinning at all of these thoughts.

_Other pregnancy symptoms, Edward_, I demanded of myself. _What are they?_

_Morning sickness._ Check.

_Hormonal mood swings._ Check.

_Change in libido_.

Well…she w_as_ quite eager with her Christmas Eve gift to me from Victoria's Secret.

Check.

_Missed menstrual cycle._

Her period wasn't due until around the twenty-eighth of the month, so I didn't have that indicator yet.

_Breast tenderness. _

I wasn't quite sure of that one, either…

"You sure are thinking hard, honey," Bella remarked, taking a bite of a brownie as she chopped up vegetables.

_Increase in appetite._ Check.

"I'm just happy," I said, not quite sure if it was a lie.

Of course I would be ecstatic if she was pregnant. I wanted a biological child of my own _so badly_. But what kind of strain would that put on our relationship? Would she even want to continue the relationship? Would she chicken out and say we were "moving too fast" and then find some alternate solution?

Or was my desire for a baby just making me read into things and jump to conclusions? What if all of this was a particularly bad case of PMS and she really just had an upset stomach from dinner last night?

I didn't know if I would be relieved or extremely disappointed.

I had a feeling that the latter would win.

Bella distracted me by kissing me until I was dizzy, and then I helped her cook dinner in silence. The woman, unlike babies, had excellent timing, for as soon as the soup was on the table, the lights suddenly went out.

EJ and Abby started to scream from the living room.

"Wonderful," Bella sighed. "I'll go check on the bugs. You go check on the power."

She ran into the living room to comfort our frightened children, and I went to the foyer to put on my coat and boots. After I was bundled up, I stepped outside—which was now beginning to resemble a frozen tundra—and looked at our neighbors stepping outside.

"Check the generator, son!" the old man across the street called to me, like I was an idiot. Of course I knew to check the generator. I trudged to the generator and tried to work it, but to no avail. The old piece of junk was useless.

I ran back into the house, kicking off my wet clothes, and went into the kitchen. "Looks like a lot of people are without power," I said tiredly, shivering. "The generator isn't working, by the way. It looks like we're all going to be in one bed tonight."

Bella stopped buttering bread and came to wrap her arms around me. "I'll go find you some dry flannel pajamas," she told me. "This isn't good. God, baby, you're so cold."

_I'm not worried about me being cold, honey. I'm worried about you and the babies. However many we may have at the moment._

She went to the bedroom, and I continued her task of picking vegetables and beef chunks out of the tomato soup so EJ and Abby could better manage their eating utensils. She came back with fresh pajamas for me. Too cold to leave the kitchen that was still slightly warm from using the stove and oven, I stripped down there and changed clothes.

EJ and Abby were pacified at the table. Clearly the sudden darkness had just scared them temporarily. Bella had lit candles all around the kitchen—out of their reach, of course—so we could see each other. I sat at the table and had never felt so lucky to have a hot bowl of soup.

After dinner, Bella and I started moving the items that needed to be refrigerated to the shed in the backyard. When that task was finished, we found the extra blankets in the linen closet. Of course Charlie and Dad called us to check on us, and we assured them that we were fine and we were keeping warm.

"Maybe we should go to your house, since you have a fireplace," Bella mused as she snuggled with EJ.

"That's a brilliant idea," I admitted. "I have flashlights over there, too. I don't know why I didn't think about that."

"You seem to be a little scatterbrained today," she chuckled.

So we wrapped the kids up in their coats and blankets and took our little caravan to my house. It was frigid over there, and when I checked the generator, mine was faulty, too. Just our luck. But I started the fire fairly quickly, being sure to put the metal barricade over it so one of our bugs couldn't wander into it. Bella tried to tell the kids to stay away from the fireplace while I moved my mattress to the living room floor, in front of the warm fire.

Bella looked really adorable in her blue flannel pajamas. She ducked under the covers on the mattress, snuggling Abby close. I slid into the other side of the mattress, coddling EJ into my chest. The term _bugs in a rug _came to mind as we huddled together, but at least we were warm enough.

"Well, this is fun," Bella chuckled as we camped out in my floor.

"Fun," EJ repeated, rolling over and clapping his hands.

Bella giggled and started teaching him the "If You're Happy and You Know It" song. Clearly she didn't have a surprise pregnancy on her mind. Abby and I joined in on the singing. They had the clapping covered, but the bugs' lyrics went something like this: "Mmmm happy mmmm know it mmmm your hands."

I had forgotten how much fun it was to "camp out" with blankets and flashlights. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, and drifted off to sleep all tangled up. We enjoyed it greatly, especially the kids.

But the next morning, the power was still off and Bella was sick again.

"Sweetie," I said as she threw up in the kitchen trash can, "I'm concerned."

She continued to vomit as I tied her hair back. It was déjà vu all over again.

"Just a strange virus," she insisted, wiping her mouth on a towel.

"I'm not buying it."

"Well, you might as well _start_. What else could it be?"

I sighed and kissed the back of her neck. I wasn't bringing it up until I knew that her period was late. That would be easy enough to determine—I would just look for tampon wrappers in the trash can. I didn't want to look like an idiot, and I didn't want her to think that I was pressuring her for children by projecting a pregnancy onto her.

Besides, I had just given her "time" for Christmas. I didn't want her to think that I was taking that gift back.

And just like the day before, she felt fine soon after. We had sandwiches for breakfast and then stayed in bed with the bugs to keep them warm, watching movies on my laptop. I was grateful that I had a battery-operated charger I used for travel. Anything to keep my kids warm, entertained, and happy.

By December 27, Bella was still experiencing morning sickness and the roads still had not been cleared, so the electric company had not been able to repair the power. Not only we were bored and tired of staying in bed, but we were grumpy. EJ and Abby wanted to go outside. They were tired of each other. Bella wanted food besides sandwiches and soup heated over the fire. I wanted to know why my girlfriend was so sick, even though I had a pretty good suspicion.

"Hey," I said after lunch that day, when EJ and Abby were napping. We didn't have another solution for their grumpiness. "Come talk to me."

She sighed and sat in my lap. "I'm not in a good mood, Edward."

"I can see that. How are you feeling?"

"Tired." She rested her head on my shoulder, the expression on her face looking absolutely miserable. "Exhausted, actually."

_Fatigue._ Check.

"Are you sure this is a virus?"

"I don't know what this is, but it needs to go away," she snapped.

_Great. Looks like I'm the only one thinking about this._

"As soon as the roads are cleared, you're going to the doctor," I decided. "You can't keep getting sick every morning. You're going to start losing weight."

_Or gaining._

"I don't need to go to the doctor. It will go away on its own," she replied.

I should have known my Bella would be stubborn about this. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek. "We'll see."

_Tomorrow, when you're supposed to start your cycle._

"I'm taking a nap," she announced, clearly not in the mood to continue this argument. "Hold me?"

"There's nothing I would rather do," I replied, dropping a kiss on her collarbone. She fell asleep in my arms, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

While I still didn't have solid evidence, I just couldn't shake the feeling that no matter what Christmas gift I gave her, we _didn't_ have a lot of time.

And I had the feeling that Evan wasn't the only baby with bad timing. Maybe it was a Cullen baby trait…

I knew I probably wouldn't be able to drag Bella to the doctor as soon as the roads were clear. However, she couldn't stop me from picking up a pregnancy test at the store. It would just be a matter of convincing her to use it.

Lucky for me, I was just as stubborn as she was.

* * *

_Drama, drama, drama..._

_Leave me a review and you win a night camping in the living room with Edward.  
_

_Twitter: SarahCullen17ff_


	21. Hormonal

**Remember when I used to update multiple times a week? I really miss that.**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: "Hormonal" Bella's POV**

It was the fourth day of throwing up in the mornings.

And I was beginning to grow suspicious.

I didn't grow up with a mom, but Charlie's female friends had taught me how to read a calendar. And according to my calendar, my biological clock was a little...off.

Edward was acting funny, too. He seemed to fully suspect what I was suspecting. He didn't even show any emotion when I started vomiting as soon as I smelled my toothpaste-he just held my hair back and rubbed my shoulders.

"We need to talk," he said when I finished.

No. I wasn't ready to have this conversation yet. Besides, I wasn't even pregnant. I couldn't be. I never missed a dose of birth control, and Edward often wore condoms, anyway. He was almost as responsible as I was. It was so unlikely. Nearly impossible. Certainly improbable.

"I'm going to bed," I muttered, totally unwilling to face the day. To face this conversation he wanted to have.

He sighed and watched me as I walked back to the mattress on the floor that I was seriously sick of. When I was curled up again with my sleeping bugs, he walked to the window and looked out.

"It looks like they're clearing the roads," he remarked. "We might get our power back today."

"Really?" I asked, excited.

"Yeah. I'm going to shovel the driveway while the plow takes care of the road."

"Okay. Be careful," I cautioned him. "It's slippery."

"Yeah, I don't want a bruised butt."

"I don't want to see a bruise on that butt," I smiled to myself.

"Ha, I heard that."

I rolled my eyes and tried to go back to sleep while he was outside, but my body had other ideas. I was starving-which wasn't a good sign. I sighed and rolled out of the warm blankets to go find breakfast that didn't have to be cooked. I sure didn't find much. Finally settling on an apple, I munched on it and stared out the window thoughtfully, watching my love and contemplating this entire situation.  
_  
You can't be pregnant. It's just an awful case of PMS._

Then why are you still waiting on your period?

I sighed at the thought, tears filling my eyes.

No, Bella. Don't you dare cry. You're not pregnant. You're. Faking. Yourself. Out.

I had to believe that voice. Besides, this pseudo-pregnancy was nothing like my pregnancy with EJ and Abby. I didn't have morning sickness for months with them. I simply couldn't be. Improbable. Impossible.  
_  
That's it, Bella. Think positive.  
_  
I went back to bed to zonk out for a while. I woke up to a couple of loud kids, a cooking boyfriend, and to my surprise, heat and the television quietly playing. That was enough to give me energy. I leapt out of bed and ran to Edward. "We have electricity?" I squealed in delight.

"We do indeed. Are you feeling better?"

I nodded.

"I took the kids to the store and picked up a few items," he said cryptically as he fried chicken in a skillet-chicken that smelled really, really good.

"Alright," I said as I opened the refrigerator and found he had already returned the groceries to the fridge. The drinks were frozen from being in the shed, so I just settled for a glass of tap water.

"Bella, we need to talk," he said again.

I sighed. "That's never a good way to start a conversation. Are you already sick of me after four days of being snowed in?"

He smiled and came to wrap his arms around me. "No, love. I just want to talk about this virus of yours."

I melted into his embrace, already knowing what was coming. "Oh?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Bella, do you think you could be pregnant?"

I shook my head. "No. I'm not pregnant."

"I think you are."

"I'm not."

"Have you had your period?" he quizzed me.

"It's a day late!" I exclaimed. "That's it!"

"So your period is late, and you're throwing up every morning," he said softly. "Sweetie..."

"I just don't believe it yet," I said crossly, pulling out of his arms. "I don't have enough evidence."

He sighed and let me walk away. EJ walked into the kitchen, and I scooped him up, cuddling him to my chest. "Hi, sweet boy," I said, kissing his face. "I love you."

"Love you, too," he smiled at me before looking over at Edward. "Love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, baby," Edward replied tiredly.

I held EJ on my hip as I pulled out vegetables to compliment the chicken. He stayed there for about one minute until he was ready to get down and go play with his Christmas toys. I sighed and put him down, missing my snuggly little boy. Babies were, at least, easier to love on than toddlers. Toddlers just didn't have patience for staying still and cuddling.

"Can we strike a deal?" Edward asked me gently, as if he were walking on eggshells.

"What, Edward?"

"If your period isn't here by tomorrow night, you take the test I bought. Just to give me some peace of mind."

"You bought a test?" I exclaimed, crossing my arms over my very-flat stomach. "Edward!"

"Bella, I have a gut feeling. Please don't be mad at me."

"And what evidence do you have to support this gut feeling?"

He began to list things, counting on his fingers. "Late period. Morning sickness. The fact that we have sex at least five times a week, so a baby isn't exactly  
an impossibility. The fact that you've been just a little hormonal, babe. Need I go on?"

"Hormonal," I repeated. "You think I've been hormonal?"

"Em and Jazz have noticed it, too."  
_  
Well, that's news to me._"Really?" I asked meekly.

He nodded and crossed back over to me. "Yeah. They brought up your mood swings. Listen, Bella, I'm not mad at you. I'm just concerned about you. I want to know if you're carrying a baby. If you're not, then I want to know what's wrong with you. Why are you sick? And if you are indeed pregnant, then I want you to have the best medical care available. You'll need vitamins and stuff to take care of yourself...and of the baby." His voice grew very soft around that last word, and he tenderly kissed my neck, right on that sweet spot that he knew made my toes curl in pleasure.

"You're cheating," I mumbled as I felt the guilt wash over me. Of course he had my best interest at heart…

"No, honey," he chuckled. "I'm just loving you."

I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck as he continued to kiss my throat. "And what do I get out of this deal? If you're wrong..."

He smiled against my skin. "Then you own me. You can figure out how I can make it up to you."

I rubbed the back of his neck as he adored my skin with his mouth. "You'll learn to play 'Angel' by Jack Johnson on the guitar?"

"Of course. Any song you want."

"And you'll make me cheesecake and Butterfinger ice cream?"

"Consider it done, sweet girl."

I giggled as he nipped at my neck. He _always_won. "Okay, fine. Sheesh. I'm waiting twenty-four hours."

He put a hand over my pounding heart before ducking his head so he could kiss the skin over it. I really wanted to be mad at him, but he could always "kiss it better." Seriously, he didn't play fair.

He gently pushed me against the wall, letting his hands cup my hips as he kissed my mouth.

"Edward?" I whispered against his lips.

"Yes?"

"Aren't we supposed to be mad at each other?"

He laughed and rested his forehead against mine. "No. We're not. Ever. It's a cardinal sin. Now let me kiss you."

"Someone is desperate to get out of the doghouse-ahh!"

I squealed as he bit my bottom lip-just hard enough to shut me up. He laughed. The motions of his smirking lips, coupled with my squeals, made the kiss just a little awkward. Our teeth clashed together, making him pull back instantly.

"That was an epic fail," he grinned. "Shall we try again?"

"We shall."

"Then keep your mouth shut."

"Okay, no tongue for you."

"That's not what I meant-"

He was interrupted by my lips. No matter what I said to him, it was a little hard to keep my tongue out of his mouth. Our "tonsil hockey," as Emmett would call it, was growing rougher and rougher. The bugs were thoroughly occupied in the living room, so I didn't see anything wrong with enjoying my gorgeous boyfriend...

Edward's hands cupped my hips, traveled up my stomach under my shirt, and went straight to my bra. Such a man.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, recoiling in pain.

"What?" he asked me, worried.

I slapped his hand from my breast. "Jesus, how hard did you squeeze me? I'm not a cow."

His eyebrows shot up. "Did that hurt?"

"Uh, yeah!" I exclaimed. "Slow and sweet, Edward. That's how I like it. Slow. And. Sweet."

He stared at me for a few seconds before he very deliberately squeezed my breast again.

"What the hell!"

"Breast tenderness," he said quietly.

"It's PMS! Get your hands off of me! Pervert!" I pushed him away, walking to the stove to flip the chicken before we burned the house down. "What happened to tact?"

"Okay, fine," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Isabella, darling, will you please allow me to grope you so I can diagnose you as pregnant or not pregnant?"  
_  
How old is he?_"Don't say that word! The p-word! And no! I will not! And I don't appreciate the sarcasm!"

Totally pissed off by now, I threw the spatula down. "I'm getting a shower," I announced. "And then I'm going to wear real clothes, leave this damn house, and have some time to myself. Don't call me unless there is a legitimate emergency, okay?"

"Damn house!" a little voice from the floor parroted me. We glanced over in horror and saw EJ in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Don't say that!" we nearly shouted.

His face crumbled. "Damn house?"

"No!" Edward scolded him. "No-no."

"Why?"

I snorted at our children's new favorite word. "I'll leave you to take care of this, Edward."

I went to my house, took a long hot shower, and then found my cell phone as I selected jeans and a sweatshirt. I immediately called my own version of 911, the one woman who could solve any problems.

"Hello, sweetie," she chirped, but something in her tone sounded cautious. _What has Edward said to her?_

"I need help," I mumbled. "Can I come to your house and crash for a little while?"

"Of course." She paused. "Is everything okay?"

"Just peachy," I rolled my eyes as I pulled on my clothes. "I need a quiet house and some girl talk. And maybe some tea."

"Tea or margaritas?" she joked.

I laughed softly. A margarita sounded pretty tempting...

But no. Not until my period came. I _wasn't _pregnant—I could almost feel it in my bones-but I didn't take chances when it came to anything like this.

"Just tea," I said, hoping my voice didn't sound as strained to her as it did to me.

"Okay. I'll have a pot ready. Jasper is over here, helping me clear the snow off my driveway and gutters. Is that okay, or do I need to send him away?"

"No, actually that's perfect," I breathed out. I needed Jasper. Esme could explain Edward the son, but Jasper could explain Edward the man. Sort of like Esme could explain Bella the mother, but Jazz could explain Bella the psycho.

So after I was ready, I carefully drove through the salted roads to the big white house. I couldn't believe I was lucky enough that they had already cleared out the very roads I needed. Jasper was indeed shoveling snow. He gave my car a wary glance, making me assume that Edward had indeed been talking about me, and then carefully jogged to help me out.

"Careful, darlin', don't slip," he warned as he held my hand while I tried to regain my footing.

"Thanks," I mumbled, giving him a hug. "So why are you sucking up to Esme?"

He laughed. "Carlisle is working, Emmett is dealing with Evan's colic, Edward is with the bugs, so that leaves me to do this chore for her. Plus Alice is wedding planning again."

"Ah. Is Esme inside?"

"Yes, probably making me some soup."

We walked into the house together and shed our many layers until we were only wearing jeans and sweatshirts. Esme was in the kitchen, stirring a bubbling pot and talking on the phone. "Sweetheart," she was saying, "They want you to work that long?" A look of irritation crossed her face as whoever she was talking to replied. "But Carlisle, you bought those tickets to the ballet in Seattle...I know that the snow may prevent that show from happening anyway, but we were supposed to have a weekend in Seattle. Together. Alone. I mean, even if we were just trapped in the house again, I would be happy. As long as we were alone and without our children."

Jasper and I smirked at her annoyed tone.

"Don't even start, Carlisle Cullen-you may know what it's like to be a doctor, but I know what it's like to be a doctor's wife. And I'm getting pretty sick of it. You promised me that as soon as Alice was out of the house, you would work less...I know that a blizzard creates chaos in an ER, but what about the years before the blizzard?" She rolled her eyes and started to furiously chop an onion. "Yes, I'm holding a knife, and you're lucky it's ripping apart a vegetable and not you! Or your supervisor!...don't you dare call me irrational! You're breaking a promise! I just miss you, sweetheart, and it feels like your job is your mistress."

She rolled her eyes again, chomped down on a bite of food, and threw her hair up into a ponytail. "Okay, fine, fine!" she exclaimed. "Go back to work. Work as long as you want. I don't care. I'll be just fine here by myself, even if the power goes out and I don't have heat or a man to work the generator...what? I am not laying a guilt trip on you! Don't even go there! You're being selfish, anyway."

Carlisle obviously gave her a good piece of his mind, because she started tossing the onion bits into the soup with amazing force, splashing the broth onto the stove. "Shut up," she finally told him. "Just shut up. Shut. Up. I'm ending this argument right here. Work as long as you want, but very soon, you and I are taking that vacation to Fiji we've been talking about, and I reserve the right to tie you to the bed for the whole trip. I don't care if you don't like it. I miss you. We never have time for each other anymore." Her eyes suddenly lit up and a smirk overtook her face. "Yes, Fiji may have gorgeous beaches, but I have a gorgeous husband. Pardon me if I want to tie him up and take complete advantage of his shores."

Jazz and I looked at each other and giggled.

"Oh, Dr. Cullen, I love that idea," she purred, seemingly appeased again. "A private island wouldn't restrict us to a hotel room. Can you rent those?...ooh. We wouldn't even have to hide under the boardwalk."

Jasper cleared his throat, and she looked at us with a blush on her cheeks. "Honey, I have to go," she said apologetically. "But I like this idea. Go save lives, love. You know, you may piss me off to the point of making me fantasize about poisoning you, but I love you more than my own life. You know that, right?" She smiled and giggled. "I know you love me. I'm lucky like that. Okay, I'll see you whenever you can come home. Love you!"  
She hung up, shaking her head. "I'm sorry about that," she apologized, returning to the soup that Carlisle's "shores" had apparently made her forget.

"How do you do that?" I asked curiously as I sat on a barstool.

"Do what?" she asked me sweetly.

"Diffuse an argument like that."

She laughed lightly. "Years and years of practice," she explained, waving her hand dismissively.

"But so quickly...I'm envious."

Jasper looked at me, eyebrows raised. "What has Edward done?"

I shook my head. "He pissed me off, and really, I know I don't have much of a reason to be pissed off, but I am. You know how he handles everything so gracefully and politely?"

They nodded as Esme put on a kettle of tea, like she promised.

"Yeah, well, he slipped up today. _Really_slipped up. Granted, I was rude to him first, but he kind of just sent me over the edge." I saw a bowl of Lindt white chocolate truffles on the counter and immediately grabbed one, unwrapping it as fast as I could. "He had no right to do what he did, but at the same time, I know he only did it because he loves me..." I sighed. "So should I even be mad at him?"

Esme and Jasper exchanged a glance. "Uh, maybe you could give us more detail?" she requested. "I'm not sure we understand."

And this is where things got messy. I knew if I even mentioned a pregnancy, the whole family would hear about it before the day was out, and Charlie would hear about it, and Charlie's plumber would probably hear about it, too. And since I was quite positive I _wasn't_ pregnant, they would all just be disappointed. But the seed would be planted, so Edward and I would never hear the end of it. _When are you two going to have another baby? You know, it's a prime opportunity to have another baby. Bella, EJ and Abby should have a little sibling. Evan should have another cousin. Edward, you're such a good daddy, don't you want another baby? Evan needs someone to pass his clothes down to. You two would make such beautiful babies…_

"It's a long story," I chuckled nervously, shuddering at the thought of_ that_ circus. "I really shouldn't be mad at him. I just had to get away from restless two-year-olds and a boyfriend who overstepped his boundaries…"

"Do I need to teach him a lesson?" Jasper asked seriously.

I smiled and shook my head. "No. Maybe_ I_ need to learn a lesson, though." I popped the candy into my mouth, sucking on it to savor the rich, creamy flavor.

"Bells, can I be honest with you?" he asked me.

I nodded slowly, not really sure I wanted to hear this. Jasper could be blunt, to say the least.

"You're still healing, darlin'. I'm not surprised that you still feel uncomfortable in a relationship. Honestly, I think you're kind of moving pretty fast."

_You have no idea how fast. We're already having The Scare._

"I'm fine," I insisted.

"I know you're fine. But you're also _healing_. Jacob abused you, sweetie," he said softly. "Physically, emotionally, mentally. He also took great advantage of you. You're still living with that on your heart and mind, am I correct?"

"Of course you're correct, _doctor,_" I muttered. "But I've really let go of him. I've moved on."

"Maybe that's true, but you're still dealing with a lot of heavy stuff."

Esme put the ladle down and sat next to me. "Bella, when you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you think about?"

"The twins," I said automatically.

"And after the twins, you think about…?"

"Edward."

She smiled and nodded. "That right there tells me that the issues with Edward will work themselves out. But the issues inside Bella won't. _You_ have to work those out. Maybe you need to stop focusing on my son so much and just focus on yourself. Concentrate on feeling better, on totally moving on with your life. You still carry around so much baggage…we've all noticed it. And things haven't exactly been perfect with Edward lately, have they?"

I shook my head. "No. He wants more. I can't give more right now."

"Well goodness, you're practically living together. EJ and Abby Hope call him 'Daddy.' What more does he want?"

"A big, shiny engagement ring. A white wedding. A little bundle of joy. More diapers to change. Take your pick," I sighed, taking another chocolate. "Esme, do you love Carlisle?"

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Of course I do. I would jump off the Empire State Building for that man."

"Did you ever go through a really difficult time in your relationship?"

A fond smile crossed her face as her green eyes—the very eyes that Edward inherited-grew distant. "Yes. When Edward was born, actually. I had a bit of what is now called post-partum depression, but back then, they didn't really understand it. I had been depressed since I brought him home from the hospital, but things really started to decline when Edward was only a few weeks old and wouldn't eat anything. He wouldn't nurse, so I tried formula. He wouldn't take formula. The poor thing was hungry, and he cried all the time, but he just wouldn't eat. I didn't know what to do. Carlisle certainly didn't know what to do, and he took his frustrations out on me. Two days of it grew to be too much, and I flipped. I threatened to leave Carlisle and Edward. I wanted to run away and never come back."

My mouth fell open. "Are you serious?"

She nodded. "As a heart attack."

"What happened?"

"I broke down and cried. Carlisle was pretty much useless in comforting an irrational, hormonal, sleep-deprived woman—I mean, what man knows what to say to someone like that?-but he recognized the signs of depression and acted on them. He set me up an appointment with a therapist. At first I didn't want to go, but it was nice to leave my screaming baby and shouting husband and just lie on a couch and talk about my problems. To have someone listen to _me,_ for once. And Edward grew out of his little hunger strike after a few days, and before I knew it, I had a new problem: I couldn't produce enough milk to fill him up." She laughed quietly. "That wasn't such a bad problem, though, because as soon as my little man was eating, my big man could sleep and shower and eat and _breathe_. And I could, too. The depression didn't ease up for months, but now that my husband was back to normal, I could slowly drift back to my normal self. Counseling helped, too. It helped _tremendously_. It brought my sanity back, and that brought my healthy marriage back. We were happy again."

"But how did you repair the relationship with Carlisle?" I pressed. "My relationship with Edward isn't anywhere near broken, but I don't want it to get worse."

"I apologized," she admitted. "One day before he came home from work, I cleaned the house, made sure Edward was fed and happy, put on a dress and makeup, and cooked his favorite dinner. I met Carlisle at the door, gave him the first kiss we had shared in ages, and asked for his forgiveness."

"And what did he say?" I practically begged.

She closed her eyes, a huge smile on her face. "I'll never forget his words. He said, 'Esme, love, there's nothing to forgive. I love you, Mrs. Cullen, and nothing is going to change that.' And guess what, Bella? Edward loves you just as Carlisle loves me. He would have the same answer for you if you apologized."

"Well, there we go with the guilt trip," I grumbled as she went to the stove to fetch the singing kettle.

She laughed. "Bella, I don't even know if your little spat warrants you the need to apologize. He could be entirely at fault."

"Edward is never entirely at fault," I confessed quietly. "It's always _me_. I'm so imperfect. I don't deserve him."

"He's imperfect, too," she reminded me. "And Bella, Edward never settles for anything but the best. _ Obviously_ you deserve him."

I sighed and took yet another chocolate. They really were delicious. "So the moral of the story is to apologize to him, wear some makeup for a change, and everything will be better?"

"Not at all," Esme replied. "Edward likes you better without makeup, and he'll just get angry if you try to iron out the wrinkles by acting like a Stepford wife. I think the moral of my story was that apologizing is the admirable thing to do, and that therapy _really _helps."

"I second that," Jasper murmured quietly.

"Therapy?" I asked. "You really think I need it?"

She shrugged as she made our cups of tea. "It's a thought, love. It could give you an outlet for these emotions."

"And you could talk some things out with a professional," Jasper added. "I love my soon-to-be-brother-in-law to death, but like you said earlier, he isn't always tactful, and believe it or not, he doesn't always see things clearly. You know, Bella, you say you don't deserve him because you're not perfect. He's just as imperfect as you are. But anyway, he doesn't always lend the best ear."

"True," I whispered.

"Hey," Jasper said gently. "You have my cell phone number and my office number. I'll provide the couch, if you ever want to talk."

That was certainly something to think about.

"Taco soup is ready," Esme declared, turning the stove off. "I'm going to run to the restroom. Make yourselves at home…well, I guess you _are_ home. You know where the bowls are."

She walked out of the kitchen. Jazz and I stood up and went to the cabinet to retrieve our bowls. He poured us up two bowls of Esme's taco soup, which was normally something I loved. But as soon as the rich aroma wafted into my nostrils, my stomach turned.

I shoved the soup into his hands and ran to the sink, where I vomited yet again.

"Bella?" Jasper asked, confused, as he walked behind me and held my hair back. "Are you okay?"

I sighed when I finished and immediately started washing the yucky stuff down the drain. "Get me a bottle of water?" I asked him weakly.

He retrieved a cold bottle from the fridge and handed it to me. I rinsed my mouth out and then immediately started to scrub Esme's shiny sink.

"Uh, Bella," Jazz said slowly. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," I replied. "This has been going on for a few days now. You can put my soup back in the pot. That's not gonna stay down."

He obeyed, pouring my soup out while I sipped my water. "I don't think you're going to like my guess," he said in a very quiet, calm tone. The doctor tone.

"I don't think I will, either," I admitted. "Don't say a word to anyone, okay?"

"Does Edward know?"

"Well, he knows I've been puking up every color of the rainbow, because he's seen it," I mumbled. "But we don't know for sure why I'm throwing up. I'm scared to find out. Still, I don't think I'm pregnant. I just don't feel like I did last time."

"Every pregnancy is different. Or so I've heard."

"I'm still not ready to admit that it's a possibility. But seriously…I don't feel pregnant."

He sighed and sipped at his soup. "Let me know, okay?"

"I will. Just don't say a word to anyone."

"We'll call it doctor-patient confidentiality," he winked.

* * *

On the drive home, I thought long and hard about my conversation with Jazz and Esme, and I decided that being rational was just the most…well, rational thing to do. Edward was genuinely concerned for my wellbeing. So I was about to do something extremely unpleasant.

The twins were down for a nap when I walked through the door. Edward was typing on his computer—as usual—probably working on a case.

"Hi," I said softly, my typical sheepish greeting whenever something was wrong. I walked behind him, kissed his temple, and rubbed his shoulders.

He removed his cute little glasses I secretly loved and looked back at me. "Hi, my love."

"Let's talk," I suggested, hitting "Save" on his file and closing the laptop so I could have his full attention.

He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist—my small waist, I might add. Because I wasn't pregnant.

_Or because you're not far along, idiot._

I silenced my inner voice as he began to speak.

"Bella, I'm sorry for being a jackass earlier," he mumbled.

No. No, no, no. I was supposed to apologize first.

I interrupted him with a quick peck. "No, let me speak. I'm sorry for being a bitch. I'm just…well, I'm scared, to be honest with you, and I took it out on you. Which isn't right. In fact, it's wrong on so many levels. But I've thought about the whole situation, and I don't want you to have to worry about me. I don't want you to have to stress out. So can I ask a question?"

He nodded.

"Where is the pregnancy test you bought?"

He tried to keep a carefully composed facial expression, but he couldn't stop his eyes from lighting up. "Um, in the bathroom drawer."

I nodded and kissed his nose. "Shall we?"

He gave me a smile and suddenly swept me up so I was cradled against his chest. He carried me to the bathroom, sat me on the bathroom counter, and kissed me reassuringly as he blindly searched in the drawer for the dreaded item. I sighed as he pulled away and held it out to me.

"I don't suppose it would be accurate if _you _peed on the stick," I deadpanned, wishing that I could produce 100% pregnancy-free urine like he could. _Jeez, situations like these can give a girl some weird thoughts._

"Probably not," he agreed lightly, rubbing my thighs comfortingly. "Bella, just in case you—we—_are _pregnant, do you want this baby?"

"Do you?"

He bit his lip and nodded, once again unable to fight the sparkle in his emerald eyes.

Of course. He wanted a half-Bella, half-Edward baby more than anything.

Could I really fault him for that, like I had been for the past months?

"It will be a big adjustment," I said vaguely, knowing this didn't answer his question, but still not wanting to offend him. "A big-time adjustment. I mean, we already have our hands full with _two_ toddlers."

"We can do it," he said confidently. "I have faith in us."

"Yeah," I whispered. "Well…here goes nothing."

He suddenly looked a little awkward. "Do you want me to go out into the hallway?"

I chuckled. "Well, honey, I kind of do have to use the bathroom in order to get our results. You would probably prefer to go out into the hallway, right?"

He smiled and leaned down to kiss my lips. "Bella, I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I love you, Abby, and EJ more than life. I love anything your body has to offer me, whether it's a baby or just a scare. And I know that no matter what happens, the love I have for all of those things will pull us through whatever obstacles we face. Baby or no baby, I won't love you—or EJ and Abby—any less. Okay?"

"I know," I said sincerely, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. "I love you too, sweetie."

He kissed me once more and left the bathroom.

I hadn't peed since having a few cups of tea with Esme and Jazz, so it didn't take me long at all to complete the test. As I made sure the stick was thoroughly doused, my mind wandered. Would I want this baby?

Well, if the pregnancy really was real, I couldn't just terminate it. That would be so wrong. This baby was half-Edward. How could I ever kill or give up anything that was made of his DNA? Really, as a mother, how could I ever kill or give up anything that was made of _my _DNA?

I would love this baby. And yes, just as much as I loved the bugs I already had. I mean, I already loved our future children that we had only talked about. But it would take some time for me to warm up to the idea.

"Is that so wrong?" I whispered to myself.

Yes, it probably was, but I couldn't help it. So I flushed the toilet, left the test in the sink, washed my hands, set a timer on my phone, and stepped out into the hallway, where Edward was pacing back and forth.

He looked up at me expectantly.

"We have to wait a few minutes," I explained.

We sank into the floor, against the wall, together, and he took my hand and kissed it, all the while rubbing my shoulders intimately. I couldn't help but compare this to the only other pregnancy test I had ever taken in my life. That day—the day of my husband's funeral—had been one of the worst days of my life. And, to be honest, one of the best days of my life. One of the best days in the history of the universe. It was the day I had first been introduced to Abigail Hope and Edward Jacob. But I had been utterly alone—only Alice and Rosalie, my two best friends, had been there to play the waiting game with me.

But now I had a man who loved me deeply, and who would never leave me or turn on me. Who would never abuse me. Who would never intentionally hurt me. And he was currently worshipping me, massaging my shoulders and dropping kisses on my neck. I lazily slumped against him, letting him pull me between his legs so he could relish the feeling of my body next to his. His arms were comforting, his lips were soothing, and the words he whispered in my ear made me nearly melt.

"I love you, sweetheart…no matter what happens…I love you so much…nothing less than perfection could ever be created by us. Created by you. Just remember that. God, I love you…I thank God, whoever he is every day for you…I love you and our children so much."

The contrast between the two incidents was incredible. I definitely preferred this one. My boyfriend could make me go crazy, but he was so worth having in my life. No, not even that.

He _completed_ my life.

My phone buzzed entirely too quickly. I wasn't ready to move yet. Surprisingly, Edward didn't rush me—he just kept loving me, coddling me, adoring me.

But finally, my panic got the best of me, and I stood up, took his hand, and led him to the bathroom.

"You look at it," I suggested as I went and sat on the ledge of the bathtub.

And finally, he looked like he was panicking, too.

"Are you sure?" he asked nervously.

I nodded.

"What am I looking for?"

"It's quite simple. You bought the type that either says 'Pregnant' or 'Not Pregnant,'" I said patiently. "Tell me what it says."

He let out a long breath and cracked his knuckles before he dared to peer into the sink. I held my breath as he picked up the test and stared at it.

He didn't have to say anything. The dazzling smile that spread over his face told me everything.

"We're going to have a baby?" I squeaked.

And God help me, the man started to cry. Not sad, worried crocodile tears.

No, Edward was laughing and crying and speaking gibberish. "Oh my god…oh my god…Bella…can you believe it? I mean…whoa…holy…oh my god…"

But the sad, worried crocodile tears sprang to _my_ eyes.

How in the world was I going to handle three kids under the age of three?

Still, I couldn't think about that at the moment. Because Edward had suddenly swept me up into a huge hug and was spinning me around the bathroom, laughing and kissing me. I was dizzy by the time he sat me back on the bathtub ledge—and I was grateful that I wasn't vomiting everywhere from the motion.

Edward knelt in front of me and placed a kiss on my belly. "Hi, baby," he whispered, his voice thick and cracking with emotion. "I'm your daddy. I hope you like my voice, because I'm going to be talking to you and singing to you _a lot_."

And just like that, my world shifted.

I was carrying Edward Cullen's baby.

"It's not going to be easy," I choked out, and I suddenly realized that yes, I had been hormonal for a while now, and yes, I was being hormonal at this very moment.

"Nothing good ever is," he whispered, still staring at my tummy.

"But it's going to be worth it."

He looked up at me, his eyes reverent and crinkled up into a smile. "Yes, love," he replied with conviction. "Yes. I'm already in love with this baby…and I'm ten times more in love with you than I was when I woke up this morning."

I started to cry.

He pulled me into his lap again, and we sat there on the bathroom floor, kissing and touching and crying together. Maybe we were both worried, and scared, and unsure of how Abby and EJ would react, and unsure of how the entire Forks-La Push area would react, and nervous about how we could do this financially.

But we were also happy.

Scared…but happy.

* * *

_Well, there you have it, folks. She's preggers, and of course our Daddyward is thrilled. His POV is next and I think I might as well go ahead and order him some pom-poms and fireworks...  
_

_I'll give you your own explosive cheerleader Edward if you give me a review. Male cheerleader in the tight pants. Not female cheerleader in the tight skirt. That would be just a little awkward.  
_


	22. Lovechild

**I have this little thing called a job...and it controls my life now. There's my excuse for not updating in weeks...*sad face***

**Lemme tell you about trying to update this thing. I fell asleep at the computer last night. Tried to upload it today, but a thunderstorm knocked out my Internet. Had to work from 4 PM to 11:30 PM. Came home after work and uploaded it to Doc Manager. Doc Manager deleted all of my documents. Had to reupload it. What next?**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: "Lovechild" Edward's POV  
**

I crinkled my brow in frustration as I tried to find the exact pitch of the note ringing through my head. My smooth fingers, un-calloused from years of not picking up a guitar, tried to pick the strings at exactly the correct placement and intensity, but for some reason, the note just wasn't coming out right.

"Sweetie," Bella whispered, not wanting to wake our bugs as she ran her fingers through my hair. They had fallen asleep to the sounds of Daddy trying to recollect his guitar skills, so my helter skelter playing didn't disturb them. "Don't you think it would be easier if you just used sheet music?"

I shook my head, careful not to press it too hard into her stomach. Her _pregnant_ stomach. I smiled exultantly at the thought. "I've always played by memory, even when I was a child. Guitar _and _piano. I feel like I'm dancing around the note…I'm about to get it…" I continued strumming, varying pressure at the neck of the guitar. "Ah, there it is."

She giggled quietly, still stroking my hair. "You're so talented, Edward."

I tried not to purr at her praise, afraid my silliness would ruin the mood. We were in a most intimate position—Bella laying against the pillows on our bed, me between her legs with my head on her flat tummy, my guitar pulled up practically to my chin because Abby and EJ were curled up in my sides. I adored this moment. I never wanted it to end. I had my three loves right here, set to the music I worshipped.

Well…_four_ loves, if you counted our newly-conceived bug.

I ever-so-slightly twisted so I could kiss Bella's stomach through her shirt, not missing a note of the lazy tune I was plucking. It was probably akin to "Dust in the Wind" or something equally simple.

"Are you scared?" Bella asked me, sitting up to kiss my forehead.

I shook my head. "Why would I be?"

"I am," she whispered.

"I know," I replied, suppressing the urge to roll my eyes. "I just don't understand why."

"Well…money." She paused to nibble on her bottom lip. "And how I'm going to be able to be a good mommy to three babies. I mean, what will EJ and Abby think when I don't have so much time for them? When there's another baby in Daddy's arms?"

"I will never let money be an issue," I promised her, stilling my fingers. "I make a good salary. And if I have to move to a law office in Port Angeles, then I will. And EJ and Abby will be older when the baby comes, remember? You can't be more than a few weeks along right now. They'll be three years old—talking and maybe even potty-trained. They'll be so much more independent than they are now."

"That's true," she admitted. "But there's something else."

"What's that?"

"You and me." She paused, searching for the right words. "Where does this leave us?"

"Crazy sick in love," I smirked up at her. "Don't stop playing with my hair, woman."

She rolled her eyes and playfully tugged at my tresses. "I've spoiled you rotten. Well, then you can't stop playing that guitar." She giggled as she tried to give me a stern glance.

I obediently started strumming again.

"Good boy." She pecked my temple again before returning to the subject at hand. "You know…_you and me._ I mean, I've been running from marriage for so long now…" She let out a long breath and continued to stroke my hair, almost as if for comfort.

"Hey." I turned my neck again to kiss the tip of her nose. "It's the twenty-first century. If you want to get married tonight, I'll call Mom or Alice and they can keep the kids while you and I run to Vegas. If you want to wait a few years, then you and I can buy a house and raise our children in the love that we share…without wedding rings. I would love to marry you right now…but Bella, I'm willing to wait. We're moving much too fast for your liking, I know. I'm not going to force anything upon you or make you feel forced."

"Do you ever get the feeling that we're running in circles? We're always hit and miss with each other," she mused. "Never quite on the same page. I mean, what if I _want_ to marry you?"

Needless to say, I was _so _confused.

"Well…" I said slowly, scratching my head. "If that were the case, I would tell you that I want to wait, because I would be scared that you were acting out of fear for this pregnancy. I don't want you to rush into something that you feel you _have_ to do because it's the expectation of this little hick town. I want to do this the right way, and the right way is when we're both ready. _Really _ready. Which is why I'm giving it some time."

"So rational," she chuckled, smoothing her fingers over my jaw.

I suddenly sat up, carefully placed the guitar in the floor, and twisted around in her arms so I could cover her lips with mine. "My beautiful girl," I whispered, letting my tongue lightly trace her bottom lip.

She suddenly giggled into my kiss, trapping me with her arms. "Does that make you my baby daddy?" she teased me against my lips, fingers slipping into my collar (as she was prone to do).

I snorted and moved my kisses to her neck. "We're not _that_ vulgar, are we?"

"Well, you did knock me up—"

"Hush." I kissed the spot beneath her collarbone. "This isn't a…knocking up situation. This is a _lovechild_." I slid down her body and pulled her shirt up, having a feeling that I would be doing that a lot in the next nine months. "I can't wait to feel our little lovechild kick."

"I think I'm more excited about that than you are," she confessed, watching me as I lavished kisses across her belly. "Maybe this one won't kick as hard as the twins, though. That would be nice."

"He or she will have to be aggressive to put up with the other bugs." I dotted my tongue into her belly button before cooing, "Such a beautiful baby already."

"It's like the size of a poppy seed," Bella rolled her eyes, smiling down at me.

"The cutest poppy seed ever."

"And he hasn't even seen an ultrasound," she snickered, closing her eyes as that look of bliss crossed her face.

"Ooh, fantastic idea! We need to make an appointment."

"They'll say, 'Come back when you're eight weeks along.'"

"You could be—"

"I'm not."

Her voice was so knowing, so final, that I didn't argue. I didn't even bother pointing out that she was at least twelve weeks along when she detected her first pregnancy. Bella would move at her own pace and still take care of herself and our baby.

_Our baby._

I swallowed to keep from squealing in delight like a girl.

I couldn't believe that this was real. I just _couldn't._ Everything I wanted was falling into place.

Well…almost everything. I still hadn't "put a ring on it," but I was close enough. I would give her time.

So I just said instead, "Love you."

She smiled and nodded. "Love you, too. Hey, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"This is our secret, right? Just until we make sure that everything is okay with the baby. I don't want to announce a pregnancy tonight and then go find out that something is seriously wrong."

I hadn't even thought of this, and I was a little disappointed, but I nodded. "Yeah. Of course."

* * *

I just didn't know how hard it would be to keep a secret from my family. I should have known, of course…

The next day, I juggled breakfast, two bugs, and made a doctor's appointment while Bella vomited again. Something told me that this bug was definitely making his or her presence known with all of the morning sickness. EJ and Abby had been two sneaky ones, quite subtle for three months. There wasn't anything subtle about this one.

"McCray Women's Clinic," the secretary said as I put some cut-up French toast in front of EJ. Abby was currently in the crook of my arm, whining about the fact that she did _not _want to sit in her high chair.

"Hi, I'd like to make an appointment for my wi—girlfriend," I quickly corrected myself, wondering where that slip-up came from.

"Name?"

"Isabella Swan. She is probably in your files as Isabella Black." I swiftly ducked as Abby shoved at my head.

"Uh huh. The divorcee."

_What does that mean?_

"What kind of appointment?" the receptionist asked.

"She had a positive pregnancy test yesterday," I replied, clamping a hand over Abby's mouth as she started to scream.

The receptionist hesitated. "Um…interesting. When was her last menstrual cycle?"

"Last month. She's two or three days late, I think."

"It's a little early to tell."

"Yes, but we have a positive pregnancy test and she's currently in the bathroom throwing up, so we're pretty positive that she's pregnant. An appointment, please?"

"How is Friday at nine thirty?"

"That's great," I replied. "We'll be there."

"Alright, thank you, Mr. Cullen."

"Um…how do you know my name? I didn't give you my name."

"Everyone around town knows your name," she retorted snidely before hanging up.

I removed my hand from Abby's mouth and hung up the phone, staring at it. "Well, that was rude. Okay, okay, little girl, sheesh, Daddy is going to hold you while you eat."

She was immediately appeased as I sat down with her. We were all eating our French toast when Bella stumbled in. "Let me get you some water," I offered.

"No, I heard Abby cry. Just hold her and I'll take care of it." She rubbed her eyes as she retrieved a glass from the cabinet. "Who were you on the phone with?"

"The doctor. I know you wanted to do it, but they can give you something for the nausea, right? I just can't stand to watch you suffer, especially since I can't be there to take care of you because I have a job or my other loves to take care of." I kissed Abby's cheek.

"Probably. Thanks."

She looked tired but grateful, so I let the subject rest. "You feel bad, huh?"

She just gave me a disbelieving look. "Of course I do. But it will be over in a minute, and I'll be starving." She eyed my suit and asked sadly, "Are you going to work?"

"Afraid so. Mike needs help with something, so I can't bow out of this one. Do you want me to cook you breakfast?"

She nodded and came over to kiss me. "Edward, I know you hate to see me sick like this, but it's only the first trimester. It gets better. And it's_ so_ worth it, right?"

God, I loved her.

While I was at work, I just wanted to shout to the entire office that I was going to be a daddy—again. Even Jessica Stanley asked me, "Why do you look so happy and glowing, Edward?" I mumbled something about finally leaving the house after the blizzard. It was even worse when Dad called to invite us over for dinner. It took every ounce of strength I had not to scream into the phone, "Surprise, Grandpa!"

And at dinner, while Emmett played with EJ and Abby cooed over Evan, it was even harder to ignore the pointed glances I received from Mom. She was hoping for a grandchild; that much was obvious. I wondered if Bella looked like she had a bump or a glow or something. Or if she was just eating more than usual and picking around the spicy stuff…

I watched her carefully at dinner. No bump, just a happy smile that gave her a glow. And she was indeed eating a lot—just no onions.

But thank God I only slipped up once, and (I hope) it wasn't even that noticeable.

_"Hey, Edward," Emmett said, just barely distracting my observing of my girlfriend and the way I basically groped her thigh. "I saw on ESPN where the Mariners are already gearing up for a good season this spring. Opinions on baseball this year?"_

_ I ignored him, still staring at my love, earning a giggle from her. "Baby, Emmett wants to talk baseball," she whispered to me._

_ "Oh," I said. "Yeah, I'm very excited about baby—I mean, baseball."_

_ Thankfully, only Dad and Jasper seemed to notice—they both gave me incredulous glances, but kept quiet. Emmett noticed, of course, and a slow smile spread across his face._

_ "Calling me baby, huh?" he murmured. "Freaky Eddie."_

At least Alice, Rose, and Mom didn't hear, but Bella kicked me under the table.

Hard.

* * *

Friday came slowly, but finally, it did indeed arrive. We left the bugs with Charlie, saying that Bella needed a flu shot and she didn't want the kids to be there in case it made her feel sick. The receptionist at the doctor's office gave us a rude glance, but at least she kept her mouth shut.

"This town needs a serious dose of scandal," Bella whispered to me as we were ushered into an examination room.

"I know," I snickered.

Since we were the first appointment of the day, Dr. McCray wasted no time in coming in to see us. "Hello, Ms. Swan," she greeted Bella warmly. "I hear that congratulations are probably in order, yes?"

"We think so," Bella beamed.

"Alright, well we're going to take some urine samples and blood samples just to make sure that all is right. Honestly, I don't usually do this until I know that you're about eight weeks along, but you had complications with your last pregnancy, so I'm taking precautions and doing it now. How are the twins?"

"They're so big I can't believe it," Bella responded.

I had been to doctor's appointments with Bella, but this was an entirely different experience. This time I had been an active participant in the reason she needed to go to the doctor, which rendered me unable to stop grinning. Bella sat on the exam table and answered the redundant questions, all the while holding my hand and rubbing my back as I stood next to her.

After she had gone over (again) her medical history and her family's medical history, Dr. McCray asked a very important question.

"So you're definitely planning on keeping this baby?"

Bella and I exchanged a glance. "Of course we are. Why wouldn't we be?" I asked.

She smiled and shook her head. "A lot of unmarried couples in Forks feel that they don't have any choice but to terminate the pregnancy. It's just part of the small-town mentality. Of course, some have shotgun weddings..." She shrugged. "But it's your business, and I just want to take care of Mommy and baby."

"Well, we're already in love with our little munchkin," Bella replied. "So no, I'm-we're-keeping this baby."

I kissed her temple, silently thanking her for including me.

"Excellent. You seem like a wonderful mother. Well, to speed the process along, I'll go ahead and take your samples so they can be in the lab while I perform the exam."

Bella was given a paper gown, and Dr. McCray left to collect her supplies. I watched my love as she undressed, the smile on her face completely unmistakeable.

"I think this will be a much easier pregnancy," she decided as she slipped the gown on. "The morning sickness sucks, but I really do feel great after I finish puking my guts out."

"You're also not in mourning," I reminded her.

"Oh, hush. Tie me up in back?"

I gritted my teeth in frustration as I fastened the flimsy strings in back. I wanted to touch her so badly, but I knew that Dr. McCray would be back at any moment. My handiwork did nothing to cover her lace panties, so I at least indulged in kissing between her shoulder blades and giving her ass a squeeze. "You might not need these, sweetheart."

She blushed and glared at me. "I'll take them off after my samples are taken, sweetheart."

"If I had it my way, they would never be on." I pushed her hair away from the nape so I could kiss it, and then let her sit down. Just in case the phlebotomist was a male. I was possessive enough that I didn't want any man to see the panties my girlfriend had bought for my enjoyment.

The urine sample wasn't a challenge for Bella, but the blood sample was another story. You would think that after everything the girl had been through in her life, she would be fearless when it came to needles. But no. She paled as soon as Dr. McCray pulled one out.

Personally, I was just glad that it wasn't a man doing it, but Bella's expression told me she couldn't have cared less who administered it. She just didn't want it.

I sat behind her and rubbed her shoulders. "It will hurt for just one second," I promised her in a whisper.

She sighed and extended her arm petulantly, like a child. I chuckled and pecked her cheek. She just squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath. Dr. McCray was quite efficient; the prick was over before Bella realized it had begun.

"All done," I teased Bella, tickling her sides.

"And now the fun part begins," Bella rolled her eyes, suddenly shimmying her underwear down to her ankles while Dr. McCray sent the samples off. "Hold these for me?"

I chuckled and pocketed the underwear, shaking my head at her silliness. _I hope she's not planning on getting these back..._

I stood by my girlfriend's head while Dr. McCray put her legs in stir-ups. This was the part that Bella hated. My darling was also so private and shy that even trips to the OB-GYN made her feel violated. I took her hands in mine and played with her fingers to distract her from the unpleasant sensations. She stared up at me with eyes that locked onto mine. Even though we technically weren't alone, we were still isolated from others.

"Everything is looking great," Dr. McCray announced. "I'm going to step out again while we wait on your samples."

I couldn't stop kissing her once we really were alone.

"Edward," Bella complained halfheartedly, tangling her arms around my neck.

"Hush."

"Give me my panties!"

I playfully nibbled at her neck. "Not a chance, sweet girl. Kiss me."

We may have made out in the OB-GYN's office.

And I may have cooed gibberish to her belly.

So I have two new hobbies. Sue me.

Dr. McCray was beaming when she came back into the room, which made me feel great. "Everything looks perfect," she announced. "All of your  
tests are great. Your nutrient levels are good. But since your last pregnancy was high-risk, you're going to have to be extremely careful.

I'm putting you on pre-natal vitamins, and you're having an appointment sooner than most women. Your blood pressure was the problem last time, so that's going to be our focus. Try to eliminate most stressors out of your life." She turned to me. "Dad, this is where you come in. Keep things as easy as possible for her. I know you guys have two other kiddos running around, so it's hard, but I want Edward to do most of the dirty work. Bella, don't pick them up. Sit down and let them climb into your lap. Edward, do you think you can handle the hardcore chores in the house?"

"Of course I can," I nodded, smoothing Bella's hair.

"Good. Bella, keep moving around and staying active, but don't overexert yourself. Sweep the floor, but let Edward mow the lawn. You can cook and drive and play with the kids, but don't run marathons. Got it?"

"Got it," we both chimed.

"Eat lots of protein, don't be scared of gaining weight. And demand footrubs and back massages from this guy, okay? It's never too early in the pregnancy to get in that habit. Edward, the key is keeping stress out of her life. Think you can handle it?"

"Edward is already very good at that," Bella assured her. "I'm in good hands."

"Good. Well, I'd say you're about five weeks along...so enjoy your time with your twins for the next eight months. I want pictures of them next time."

We laughed and promised her we would bring some snapshots. Bella dressed in her clothes (minus her panties, which earned me a smack) and collected her prenatal vitamins and brochures, and then we were out.

"I'm so excited," I admitted as we walked to my Volvo. I opened the passenger door for her and helped her in.

"Me, too," she nodded. "Can we go get brunch before we pick up the kids?"

"Of course. You're eating for two now."

"You won't be saying that when I gain fifty pounds," she snorted as I joined her in the car.

"You'll always be the most beautiful thing in my world," I replied, leaning over to kiss her.

We settled on the diner and sat across from each other in a booth. She slipped her feet out of her shoes and rested them in my lap as she perused the menu. I already knew what I wanted, so I rubbed her soles.

"I wouldn't want your feet to swell from all that extra weight you're carrying," I teased her.

"I haven't gained a pound," she shot back. "But yes, it's your job to keep my life as stress-free as possible, so rub."

"Boy, is my princess going to be pampered by the time this pregnancy is over..."

"You betcha. What are you going to order?"

"A ham and cheese omelet."

And bless her heart, the poor girl turned green.

I had completely forgotten about the fact that omelets made her very sick during her first pregnancy. I chuckled and shook my head. "I mean, the breakfast burrito."

"Thanks," she breathed in relief.

"You're very welcome. I'm accomodating to you, love. Keeping it stress-free. Hey, maybe I should have the poppy-seed pancakes instead."

"Ugh, Edward, that is _so _wrong."

"Are you calling your baby daddy wrong?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by her ringing phone. "Sorry," she muttered, fishing it out of her purse. When she glanced at the Caller ID, her jaw dropped.

"Who is it?" I asked, tugging on her big toe affectionately.

She immediately showed me the screen.

Jacob was calling.

* * *

**What does the bugger want now? Next chapter is all about Jacob, straight from the horse's mouth.**

***scratches head* Horse's mouth? Is that the right animal?**

**Anyway, the next chapter will be posted within minutes.**

**Twitter: SarahCullen17ff...I will talk about anything with anyone. Seriously.**

**Review, por favor?  
**


	23. Hard Exterior

**Wrestling with FFn...but here it is.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One: "Hard Exterior" Jacob's POV**

I stepped into Captain Masen's examination room, closed the door, and just like that, I was pinned against the wall.

But in the best way possible.

Pinned not only by hands, but by her little body, her hot lips, and the scent and taste of her washing over me.

We still hadn't come out of the closet with our relationship, but behind closed doors, Nessie and I couldn't keep our hands off each other.

"When's your next appointment?" I asked her between sloppy kisses. Just the kind I loved. The kind that Bella wasn't extremely fond of in the last months of our marriage.

"You're my next appointment," she growled in that kickass tone I adored. "Get on the table."

"Yes, ma'am."

My progress was coming along better than ever thanks to my frequent appointments—and dates—with Nessie. She had an apartment off-base, so I spent the majority of my time there. Even when we were just watching a movie, she took the time to stretch and massage my muscles. And of course, she had a special form of _exercise _just for me…

But she wasn't only good for my body. She soothed my mind whenever she was around me. I had woken up next to her screaming one night, and because she was a soldier, she _understood. _ Had kissed away my tears and comforted me until I fell asleep. And whenever my temper got the best of me, she gave it right back to me with a string of curse words and threats. But it wasn't pansy threats like Bella's. Nessie didn't threaten to leave and take the kids. Nessie threatened to kick my ass and run it up the flagpole.

Yes, she was good for me—in so many ways.

We kissed and touched for a long time, there in her office, until she finally got down to business. I played with her hair while she worked my muscles. She occasionally looked up at me with a smile or a wink. So much playfulness underneath that hard exterior…

"You're so pretty," I remarked as I watched her lustfully.

But of course that was the wrong thing to say. Because Nessie had her demons, too. Some things set her off for very specific reasons—reasons that, mind you, she wouldn't tell me, but I had already gathered that it had something to do with a guy. She had been broken in the past, too, and had her scars to prove it.

She pulled away from me. "Watch yourself, Sergeant," she warned, using my appropriate title like she always did when I pissed her off.

"Sorry," I muttered.

I could complete _ravage_ the woman, but she didn't want me to tell her just how obsessed I was with her beauty.

I let her finish, and then she was ready to kick me out. I stole a few kisses, just because I could, and I could feel her melting into me, but we were interrupted by the go phone I had bought.

A Washington number was calling me, but it wasn't one I was familiar with.

"Give me a minute," I requested from Nessie as I answered it. "Hello?"

"Mr. Black?" a female voice asked.

"This is he. What's up?"

"My name is Sasha. I'm one of the home health nurses you've hired for your father. I'm afraid we have a problem."

"A problem?" I asked, fear flooding my stomach. "What problem? Is Billy okay?"

"He's locked the door and rigged them up so we can't enter the house," she explained. "He won't come to the doors or windows. He won't answer the phone. We can't get in. It's been that way for twenty-four hours. What do you want us to do?"

I sighed and rubbed my temples. "Um…let me call him, okay? And then I'll call you back, Sasha."

"Thank you, Mr. Black."

"What's wrong?" Nessie asked as soon as I had hung up.

"Something with my dad," I mumbled, dialing his number.

No answer.

I let out a long breath and sank into a chair. He wasn't answering for me, but that wasn't exactly surprising. He hadn't forgiven me for my "attack" on Bella after my surgery…

Bella.

She was his favorite person alive. The old man had caller ID; he would answer for her. I had to call her.

Well…swallow my pride first.

And then call her.

So I did.

I just didn't expect Edward Cullen to freaking answer the phone. "Hello?" he asked coldly, answering on the fourth ring.

I sighed. "Hey, can I talk to Bella?"

"May I ask what for?"

_Like I should give you a reason? Like I need your permission?_

"It's about my dad," I said flatly. "Edward, it's really important. Life and death situation, maybe."

I heard him cover the receiver of his phone, and muffled mumbling followed. Finally, the phone shifted around, and Bella's familiar breathing filled my ear. "Hey, Jacob," she said extremely softly. Hesitantly.

"Hey, Bells," I said, earning a glare from Nessie. I ignored it. "Look, I have an enormous favor to ask you."

"What now?"

I explained the situation to her. Naturally, she softened. Bella always caved when it came to taking care of others. "Yes, Jacob, I will go see him as soon as Edward and I are finished eating. Call the home health nurse and tell her to be at Billy's place in an hour."

"Thanks, Bells. I owe you," I breathed. "How are you?"

"Utterly blissful," she said sincerely…cryptically. "I'll let you know how he is as soon as I see him."

"Okay. Call me if he doesn't come to the door."

"I will. Talk to you soon, Jacob."

I hung up and met Nessie's questioning eyes.

"My dad," I said quietly, staring at my feet. "I don't know what's wrong with him."

"Oh." She bit her lip before coming to sit on my good leg. "I'm sorry, Jake."

"No need to get upset until I know for sure," I whispered.

She looked up at me, her brown eyes searching mine, intent on finding _something. _Yet another thing I worshiped about Nessie. She was always looking for different layers in me. She wanted to know every inch of my personality.

And I was intent on letting her find it-whatever she was looking for.

* * *

_Yeah, it was short, but I'm not a Jacob fan. Y'all know that._

_I still love reviews. I suck at review replies, but I read and cherish each and every one.  
_


	24. Poppy is Hungry

**I've started college...yes, I love it...except for the men, because they're even more douche-y than high school guys...but unfortunately, it's so time-consuming. I'm taking fifteen hours in the honors college. No excuse, I know, but give a girl a break.**

**Oh, and this chapter title is really strange and off the wall, but I have my reasons. Go with it. Think about it. Maybe it's not as mysterious as I think it is.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two: "Poppy Is Hungry" Bella's POV  
**

Edward was so cute about the baby. I could tell as soon as we left the doctor that he wanted to tell his family immediately. Personally, I was already past the point of being excited about that-I just wanted to share this pregnancy with him, EJ, and Abby.

But before we could bask in the joy of our budding little family, I had to go perform ex-wife duties that, in all reality, no ex-wife should be accountable for. But I loved Billy Black, and honestly, I felt quite guilty that I hadn't visited him since Jacob and I called it quits. Lines are so blurry in a divorce: you split up property, but what about people? When do you go too far?

So after Edward and I hurriedly finished our brunch, he drove to Billy's and I tried to call my former father-in-law's house phone. It rang and rang and rang, but there was no answer. That was when I started to bite my nails. Billy-I thought-would answer for me if he was okay. Right?

"Stress, Bella," Edward reminded me softly.

God, I had just been kidding about the footrubs and massages. But now I was feeling very stressed.

As soon as we pulled up to the little red house, I told Edward to wait for me and I ran to the front door. I rang the doorbell a few times, but he didn't answer.

Both the front door and back door were locked, but that didn't stop me. I had been visiting this house my whole life; I knew the tricks.  
Edward gave me an incredulous look as I walked to Jacob's decrepit makeshift garage, but I waved him off.

"What are you doing?" he called to me in panic as I climbed up the side of it so I was standing on the roof. "Bella, don't hurt yourself!"

"I've done this a million times!" I assured him, carefully watching my footing. The garage was close enough to the house that I could easily step onto the roof of the house and enter through the little window in the slope of the roof. The latch was never used on this window. Jacob and I had used it as a way of sneaking in and out of his bedroom for years.

"Don't hurt my baby, either!" he begged.

"Shh!" I replied loudly, immediately putting a hand to my tummy. I hadn't even thought of the bug that was depending on my body when I had climbed up. But I could do this blindfolded. I would just be even more careful than usual.

Edward visibly breathed a sigh of relief when I made it onto the roof safely. I waved at him as I pushed the window open, and then descended into the house. _Guess it's like riding a bicycle, _I thought.

"Billy?" I called as I repelled down into Jacob's old room. The twin bed was still there. It looked so sad and lonely. I shook the thought off and walked down the little hallway, into the living room.

My mouth fell open.

The place was filthy. Clothes lay in the floor, plastic TV dinner trays littered the furniture, and dishes were literally in piles.

This wasn't the Billy I knew and loved.

"Billy!" I called again.

I heard the squeak of wheels in the kitchen, and I ran through the doorway.

"Bella?" Billy asked in surprise before I could see him.

When I finally did see him, sorrow penetrated my heart.

The old man I loved so much was hunched over in his wheelchair. He looked ragged and haggard, wearing dirty clothes and sporting a very unshaven chin. His long raven hair-the color of my children's-was unwashed and scraggly. His wrinkles were deeper. He was a sick ashen color.

He looked...pitiful.

"Billy, what the hell is the matter with you?" I exclaimed.

"Why are you here?" he asked in amazement.

"I'm worried about you," I replied honestly, stooping in front of him. I noticed he had food stains on his shirt. He hadn't had fresh laundry in a long time. "Billy, what is wrong with you?"

He shrugged. "All alone."

"No." I shook my head. "You haven't been all alone. You won't let your nurses in. Why not?"

"They don't know what they're doing," he shrugged simply.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Have you been living off of TV dinners?"

He nodded, his eyes blank as he stared off into space.

"When was the last time you had your insulin?"

He shrugged. "It's hard for me to reach the syringes."

My eyes probably looked like they were about to bug out of my head.

"Billy, this is unacceptable. I'm going to call Sasha, okay? She's going to come help clean you up and medicate you while I cook you a healthy lunch."

As soon as I ended the call with Sasha, I started giving him my lecture.

"Billy, do you know how stupid you're being? Your blood sugar is probably sky high right now. I can tell by your mood, not to mention your diet and lifestyle. If you don't like your nurse, why don't you tell Jacob? He can arrange for you to have another one. Heck, _you_ can arrange for you to have another one."

"It's not that simple, my daughter," he replied sadly. "Jacob doesn't care about me. He left me."

I winced and bit my lip as I tried to figure out how to approach this one. "Billy...Jacob went to go seek help for his own issues. There comes a time when you have to take care of yourself...and that time is here for Jacob. That's the whole reason I divorced him. I had to take care of myself, and my kids. But I haven't abandoned Jacob. In fact, I'm hanging out with his awesome dad right now."

I tried to wink at him and make him smile, but he just stared at his lap.

"How are the kids?" he asked softly.

I felt sharp stabs of guilt in my chest and abdomen and prayed that my little poppyseed couldn't feel the same pain I felt. I hadn't intentionally been keeping Abby and EJ from their granddaddy...but that just sort of came with the territory of this sort of divorce.

"They're wonderful," I said, my tone soft and gentle. "You wouldn't believe how big they are."

"Does EJ still look like Jake?"

I nodded and stared at my feet. "Yeah. I've been saying for months I want to cut his hair...just haven't had the time, I guess. He looks like Jacob did when he was young."

"And Abigail?"

"She looks like me," I grinned.

"Lucky girl."

"What do you want to eat?" I asked him.

He shrugged, the heavy movement making his wheelchair squeak. "Don't care."

"Then you're eating what I feed you."

He finally chuckled. "Anything you prepare is mighty good, Bells."

The doorbell rang then, and I held up a finger to tell him to wait before I ran to answer it. A young pretty girl in scrubs was there, looking frightened. "He's fine," I assured her. "We need a big dose of insulin and a healthy meal. I'll cook if you inject."

"I'm so sorry," she whispered meekly. "I didn't know what to do."

I nodded. "It's fine. Billy is...stubborn. I'm going to have a key made for you today. I'll also show you how to sneak into the house if he rigs the door."

She tucked away a smile and walked to the kitchen. "Mr. Black," she said in a friendly but playfully disapproving tone. "What are you thinking? You've deprived me of a paycheck!"

I admired her bedside manner, and apparently Billy did, too, because he smiled sheepishly.

"Let's get you into the bathtub," she told him, "and then we can medicate you. We're going to discuss insulin."

I made a hearty lunch of beef stew with lots of vegetables. It was one of his favorite, and high in protein and other nutrients while still being low in sugar. The protein would keep his blood sugar up after they gave him his insulin. Still, just to be on the safe side, I poured some orange juice for him. A low blood sugar would only make the situation worse.

Sasha and Billy came back to the kitchen as the soup simmered and as I was cleaning up the house. I faithfully made him a big bowl, which made him blush-but he quickly dove into the stew. I was unbelievably happy to see him clean and groomed and in fresh clothes.

"I have to go," I told my former father-in-law. "I have kiddos to feed. You do exactly what Sasha tells you to, okay? And don't forget what I said about Jake. He's getting help. He'll be back." _I hope_, I added silently. _For your sake, I hope. And for my sake-and his sake-I hope he stays the hell away from me._

Billy _hmph_ed.

I bent down and kissed his cheek. "Call me if you need anything. Sasha will call me if you misbehave. Love you."

Sasha followed me out the door, looking at me with a little fear in her eyes. Someone was obviously new on the job…or she hadn't dealt with immature people before. "If he starts acting belligerent, call me," I told her firmly, pressing something into her hand. "I'm just going to give you the key. Have a copy made. There is a shed in the back. If you climb up on it and look on the roof of the house, there is a window. It is never locked, and Billy can't reach it to lock it."

"Thank you," she smiled. "Again, I'm so sorry."

I shook my head. "It's not your fault. I'm going to hire a cleaning crew for his house."

She shook her head. "I can handle it."

I thanked her, gave her my number, wished her luck, and walked back to the Volvo, where Edward was waiting. He looked at me expectantly.

I sighed and pulled out my phone, figuring I could explain it to both Edward and Jacob at the same time.

"Is he okay?" Jacob answered the phone.

I gave him a rundown of the situation.

"Thank God," he whispered. "Thank you, Bella."

"Not so fast," I snapped. "Jacob, you could at least call him every now and then. Just to talk. Just to say hi. Just to say 'I love you, Dad.'"

"What, Ness?" he shouted, his mouth away from the phone. "Alright, I'm coming, babe. Bella, I have to go."

_Click._

"Asshole!" I exclaimed, pain building up in my chest as I chucked my phone into the backseat.

Edward let me rest my head on his shoulder as he stroked my cheek soothingly. "You did the right thing," he whispered, kissing my forehead.

"I know."

"Don't be upset, darling."

"I'm just exhausted now." I sighed. "Do you want to go have some down time before we pick up EJ and Abby? Or do you have to go to work?"

"I took the entire day off," he smiled, still rubbing my cheek. "Let's go rest."

He drove to my house and blazed out of the car, making me raise an eyebrow as he came to my door and opened it. But then I giggled as he lifted me up and cradled me to his chest. He carried me in and closed the door behind us, kissing my cheek.

"Are you hungry?" he asked me.

I shook my head. "No, just tired. Come snuggle with me?"

"Of course, love. Couch, or bed?"

"Hmm, couch. Let's watch a movie. We never do that any more."

Maybe it was morbid, but I slid _Gone with the Wind_ into the DVD player. I needed reassurance that Scarlett O'Hara was a strong woman. Plus it was really long, so I had plenty of time to cuddle with the father of my children.

"Our favorite," he purred as the credits started to roll.

"Of course," I smiled, laying beside him on the couch and tucking into his side. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands lovingly cupping my tummy, and held me until I drifted off to sleep before Scarlett even met Rhett.

"Mommy," a little voice sang, hot Cheeto-scented breath washing over my face. "Mommy. Mama? Up."

"Abby," Edward hissed. My eyes were still closed, but I heard him scoop our daughter up. "Leave Mommy alone."

"Mommy gotta eat," Abby argued loudly. "Num-nums."

"Mommy has to sleep. Dinner isn't even ready, sweet girl." He gave her a loud kiss, making me smile and open my eyes.

Edward cringed when he saw me. "I'm sorry, hun. Go back to sleep."

I yawned and sat up, shaking my head. "What time is it?"

"Almost five."

"God." I threw off the blanket he had thoughtfully tucked over me and stood up. Abby clapped her hands and reached for me. "Hey, buggy," I greeted her, kissing her nose. Remembering Dr. McCray's advice, I sat back down before letting Edward pass her to me. This not-picking-the-kids-up-for-the-next-eight-months thing would be challenging. And irritating. I wanted a second opinion.

"Mama!" EJ shouted, running into the living room with a white cheddar Cheeto in one hand, his blanket in the other. "Wakey, wakey!"

I giggled and let him climb up to join us. He and Abby each claimed one of my thighs, and EJ fed me the Cheeto. There was no telling where that Cheeto had been, but when it comes to kids, you don't ask questions like that. Ignorance is bliss.

"Mmmm," I exaggerated as I chewed the Cheeto. "So good. Cheeto kisses?"

He happily fulfilled my request, smushing a sloppy kiss to my lips. Only babies can get away with that amount of slobber.

Edward laughed and plopped down next to me, resting his head on my shoulder. I gave his forehead a kiss coated in EJ slobber, making him crinkle up his nose at me.

"Daddy," EJ sang, reaching into his diaper and pulling out some object. "Eat."

I stifled a laugh as I saw the Cheeto...and then I prayed that his diaper wasn't the source of the puff I had just eaten.

"Oh, no," Edward groaned, lifting him up and hesitantly touching his diaper. Something crunched inside. "Buddy, how much are you packing right now? Saving up for next winter? We're not impoverished."

I took the Cheeto from EJ's hand and placed it on the coffee table while Edward gently laid him in the floor and peeled the diaper off. My child had stuffed his clean diaper with the cheese puffs, leaving a pile of crumbs and dust that spilled out into the carpet.

"Abby, bring Daddy the diapers?" Edward asked our daughter sweetly.

Abby blinked at him.

I rolled my eyes, knowing that Abby knew exactly what and where the diapers were, and heaved her off my lap so I could walk to the little trunk in the living room where we kept the diaper supplies. My little girl was just lazy. But that was okay, because after my very long nap, my joints were stiff and in dire need of being stretched.

"Let me do it," I told Edward. "I need to do something to feel useful today. Why did you let me sleep so long?"

"Honey, you slept through World War III. You really didn't hear EJ and Abby screaming at each other?"

I shook my head as I sat in front of EJ, stretching out my legs. "No...I just felt fatigued all of a sudden." I started to wipe the cheese dust off EJ's skin, cringing at the irritation it already seemed to be causing. "In fact, I'm still a little tired. How long have these been in his diaper?"

"No idea. We packed the Cheetos for Charlie to give them as a snack, remember? Could be all day. I haven't had to change his diaper yet."

"Lovely."

"Is being tired...normal?"

"First trimester? Absolutely," I nodded, slipping my tone into sarcasm as I made my next comment. "Except that I'm sure that this exhaustion couldn't have anything to do with the fact that my very gorgeous boyfriend kept me up last night and I'm totally unwilling to say no."

He grinned sheepishly. "You are correct there-totally unwilling to say no. Which is probably how we landed in this situation in the first place."

"Oh, it has nothing to do with your inability to deny me?" I teased back. "We don't know exactly when this baby was conceived, so don't point fingers."

"Actually, I think I do know," he replied casually as I smeared Desitin on EJ's forming rash. "That Sunday when Abby and EJ took an extra-long nap. I didn't use a condom. And, if I remember correctly, you were the one who approached me. Wearing that little blue negligee with the cut-outs in the side. Totally inappropriate for the middle of the day, so you clearly had only one thing on your mind."

"If I remember correctly," I countered, powdering EJ, "you had hinted very strongly that morning that it was your favorite negligee and I didn't wear it enough and you would like to see it on me 'very soon.'"

"I didn't say you had to wear it that day," he grinned crookedly, knowing his defense was slipping.

"No, I believe you said I had to wear it that night."

"To which you responded, 'Edward, I am an independent woman and I will wear what I want, when I want'...and just to make your point, you wore it during the day."

"Aha!" I exclaimed, taping a clean diaper on my baby. "So I didn't wear that negligee to seduce my all-too-willing boyfriend. You are the one who made the advances."

His lips twitched as he fought a smile.

"You, darling," I smiled as I leaned over and kissed his lips, "are a terrible lawyer. I think I just won my case."

"Hung jury," he said simply, nuzzling his nose to mine. "We're both totally willing and you know it."

"Thank God for that," I agreed. "But I will admit that your theory about the date of conception is quite plausible."

"I'm a clever man." He leaned in to kiss me again, but we were interrupted by Abby smacking her daddy on the back.

"Daddy!" she demanded. "Be nice!"  
He turned to her, puzzled, and I giggled. "She thinks we're fighting," I explained. "We're not fighting, Abby-bug. We're being nice. Daddy is giving me kisses. Don't hit Daddy."

"_My_ Daddy kisses," she growled possessively. I had never heard my sweet little girl speak in such a...well, scary tone. I kind of wanted to go sit and rock in the corner in fear.

"Your daddy kisses," Edward agreed, pecking her little cheeks. "Don't be so jealous, child."

Our ray of sunshine was back-Abby giggled.

Edward shook his head as he stood up. "Teenage hormones already, Abby? Like mother, like daughter."

I smacked him on the seat of his jeans. "Be nice, Daddy."

"Always, love. Going to finish dinner now."

Which was probably a good thing, because I was absolutely ravenous.

* * *

Once the shock had worn down, I was unbelievably thrilled about carrying Edward's baby. He and I had never been happier. The weekend after my first OB-GYN appointment, we stayed in the house and basically snuggled and played with our bugs for two days straight. I had even loosened up a bit about my need for a strict routine and let the bugs stay in bed with us during the night. (They had fallen asleep while Edward played his guitar softly, singing love songs that were meant for me but actually quite perfect for putting our children to sleep.) I had the best sleep of my life that night, which was unusual, because sleeping next to two toddlers and a grown man often gives the mother about one inch of room on the mattress. But I was always tired by the end of the day (even if I had taken a quick powernap). Plus the fact that I always went to bed with a fully belly thanks to my tendency to eat all the time aided me in feeling drowsy enough to sleep through the night. Anyway, the sleep was sweet, and it was probably mainly because my bugs were adorable as they slept intertwined with each other and my Edward was equally adorable with his sleeping head on my tummy.  
My man loved his three children, that was for sure, and wanted to be close to them as much as possible.

But I still had some reservations.

I didn't think the implications of my pregnancy had really sunk in to Edward yet, like the fact that we didn't have a nursery for a newborn, and that I didn't have a job, much less the ability and skill to care for more than two children. I constantly doubted myself as a fit mother. Even when I found my cell phone in EJ's diaper (thankfully still dry-the child was a master thief), that was enough to send me into tears because I didn't think I could handle another baby.

Thankfully I didn't let EJ see me cry-I handed him over to Edward and went to the bathroom for a "shower"-a.k.a just an opportunity for the noise of the water to drone me out. I knew that, like Edward had mentioned to Abby, my hormones were playing a big role in this...but I was also terrified of slipping into depression. I was overall happy as a clam, just a few worries and hormonal bouts, but I knew my fragility. I knew that pregnancy was hard on my body and my spirits. I knew that the storm could still come, despite my present happiness.

So it was time for an appointment with Jasper.

I mentioned to Edward that I was going to stop by Jazz's office to discuss hormone fluctuations and how to handle the episodes. I explained that since Jasper already knew our entire history, I felt more comfortable with him. Edward gave me his blessing-not that he would ever stop me from going-so while he was at work on Monday, I made an appointment with Jasper for that afternoon, during the bugs' nap.

I dressed them warmly and put them in their car-seats. There was something magical about a car that could lull my children to sleep almost as well as Edward could. They were out like lights almost instantly, warm and comfortable in their little coats. When we arrived at his stylish office, I just carried the car-seats in on my arms, earning looks of pity from every woman in the waiting room. Dr. McCray would probably have killed me if she saw this, but I couldn't take my boyfriend everywhere.

"At least they're heavy sleepers," a woman whispered to me as I sat down after signing in.

"Yes, they're wonderful sleepers," I replied as I very gently slipped their coats off so they wouldn't get too warm. "They sleep twelve hours a night and still keep their midday naps."

"You're blessed," she remarked. "When my daughter was that age, she never slept on a regular schedule. But she was a very sick child, so that was excusable."

"How old is she now?" I asked conversationally.

"She would have been ten years old next month." My heart sank as the woman paused. "Leukemia is the worst kind of killer."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

She swallowed thickly. "Thank you."

I suddenly felt a conviction washing over me: I was a very, very lucky woman.

Jasper called me back, helping me with EJ since he was so much heavier than delicate little Abby. "I hope you don't mind that I brought them," I said. "Charlie is working and everyone else would have wanted to know why I need to see you."

A smile played on his lips as he entered his private office, closing the door behind him. "That's our family, huh? And of course I don't mind. I'm always happy to see my almost niece and nephew."

I put the car-seats in the floor by the couch and dropped our coats on the chair. Jasper kicked back in his chair, propping his feet on the desk as I plopped down on the couch.

"So..." he started, and I giggled. I knew exactly what topic he was dancing around.

"Let's discuss my symptoms," I joked. "I'm throwing up every morning and whenever I smell spicy food and eggs."

"I'm afraid I don't specialize in recurring twenty-four hour viruses," he said dryly, playing along with my game.

I snorted. "This is more like a nine-month virus. Apparently we've got a bug in the cocoon."

He chuckled and hesitated, clearly trying to contain his excitement and remain professional. "Should I say congratulations? I mean, I know Edward is probably over the moon, but what about you?"

I smiled, staring at my stomach, sort of wishing I was showing just a little so I could have a bump to snuggle. I had loved snuggling with my big bug belly during my first pregnancy. "No, I think congratulations are in order. I love this baby. I'm happy." I wrapped my arms around my waist despite my thinness.

"But a baby won't fix everything," he said gently.

"No, a baby won't."

"How did you react when you first found out?"

"I was in shock," I chuckled a little bitterly. "Edward was ecstatic, but I was totally freaking out. I cried. But I warmed up to the idea n minutes. Edward's happiness is...infectious. It always has been."

"So you're already embracing this baby?"

I traced my right index finger over my clothed stomach. "Yes. With reservations."

"Talk to me."

I spilled my guts to Jasper, explaining my fears and worries and mood swings. He mostly nodded the whole time, _mmm_ing in the right places and taking notes on a legal pad. Only occasionally did he interject with questions, mostly asking me if I was being truthful about my feelings and how Edward felt about something. Finally, he gave me his verdict.

"Alright, Bells," he said slowly, lacing his fingers together. "First of all, you don't live for yourself. You live for your kids. So I can already see that you're going to love and care for this baby no matter what. I don't know why you're so concerned about balancing three kids.  
You basically did it when you were married to Jacob."

_He has a point, but..._

"And I already know what you're thinking: you nearly went crazy. But this baby isn't going to shove you against the wall and break your glass cabinets. You'll just have another little bug to love on."  
_  
True._

"I'm not saying it will be easy. Some days, it will be hard as hell. But you're such a wonderful mother, Bells. Why can't you see that?"

I stayed silent and laced my fingers together.

Jasper sighed. "You know, you make me sad. You used to be so confident and sure of yourself. Jacob has just destroyed your self-esteem. But you're allowing him to do this to you. Don't you see that, darlin'?"

"I'm over Jacob," I whispered, staring at my son. He was resembling me more and more every day, but he still favored his biological father strongly. The nose, the cheekbones, and of course the miles and miles of hair...

"I'm going to cut EJ's hair," I suddenly decided aloud.

Jasper kept his face smooth even though I imagined he was wondering what was wrong with me. "You've been saying that for months. His hair is as long as Abby's."

"Tonight," I nodded, ignoring him. "I always kept it long because Jacob kept his long before he enlisted...it was a nice little reminder. But now there's nothing nice about it."

"You want to sever all ties to Jacob?"

"Every single one."

Jasper started scribbling furiously. "Interesting way to begin, but it fits that you're starting with your children."

"And I'm going to find somewhere else to live. With a room for the baby. And no glass cabinets."

"Bells, this all sounds really positive, but slow down, sweetie," Jasper cautioned me. "You're trying to control the environment around you. You're supposed to be focusing on what's going on inside your heart and your head, right?"

I let out a sigh. "Well, give me some direction, Jazz."

"Here's my direction: before you decide on a place to live, let Edward in on this decision. Once you realize that you can't run this family as a one-woman show, it will all start to fall into place. Edward wants to help you, wants to be included. You guys are starting a  
family together_. Include_ him, for God's sake."

"And your next direction...?"

Jasper smiled at me and dropped the pen. "Are you up for some homework?"

"As long as it doesn't involve fractions or writing papers," I joked.

"Well...not exactly," he hedged, standing up in his chair and walking to a metal file cabinet. "You will be writing. But I think it will be therapeutic. I assign this quite often to my patients."

"Notebooks?" I asked as he pulled out a thin Composition book and brought them over to me.

"Mmm," Jasper nodded. "It's not a very radical homework assignment...but I want you to have this. It can be used as a diary, as long as you write about stuff that matters. No grocery lists or bill paying, okay? But specifically, I want you to write letters. Whenever you can't find the strength or the courage to say the words aloud, write them. Write a letter pouring your heart out to Edward. Write hate mail to Jacob. Write love letters to EJ, Abby, and your new little bug. Write notes of encouragement to yourself. No one has to see these letters and journal entries but you. This will serve as your outlet."

I bit my lip as I contemplated the little book in front of me. "I don't know."

"At least try it. For me?"

I sighed as he gave me an expression of loving concern. Jasper tended to get his way. All it took was his strange penchant for manipulating emotions. The guy was born to be a headshrinker. "Fine."

"Good," he grinned, grabbing a pen. "I'm going to give you your first writing prompt. Don't look at it until you have time to consider it and write about it. While I write it down for you, will you go schedule another appointment for next week with my secretary? I'll watch the bugs."

I nodded and walked outside his office to follow his commands. After the appointment was made, I returned and collected my notebook.

"Is that all?"

He nodded. "For today. I think this assignment will be difficult enough for you. Go get your child a haircut, darlin'."

"Thank you, Jazz." I pulled him into a grateful hug.

He lightly kissed my cheek. "Anything for you, sis."

After I left the office and loaded up the bugs in the warm car, I couldn't resist peeking at the prompt even though I didn't have time to write. When I saw it, I couldn't help but smile. His messy handwriting was all over the page. At the top, capital letters read:  
_  
Bella is an amazing woman because...  
_  
Under that title, he had listed a few reasons.  
_  
1.) She is a wonderful mother.  
2.) She is beautiful and strong.  
3.) She is a survivor.  
4.) She loves passionately and forgives wholeheartedly.  
5.) She is selfless.  
6.) She is a hell of a cook._

To the side, he had marked these words with an asterisk:

_Finish the story, darlin'. I want there to be twenty reasons on this page by our next appointment._

That night before Edward came home, I decided to take Jasper's advice and write my first letter. I let EJ and Abby pull out an old dominos game, and the little rectangles kept them entertained for an hour straight. It gave me plenty of time to write Edward a little note. After I had filled a good page up with my best handwriting, I folded it half, sealed it with a lipsticked kiss, and tucked it into his pajama drawer. I knew he would probably pull out flannel pants early tonight since it was so cold outside.

My suspicions were confirmed when he came through the door shivering, his nose and cheeks rosy with the cold. I was making dinner when he surprised me by pressing his icy fingers to the strip of skin that was bared by my shirt as I reached for the top shelf.

"Jeez!" I gasped, recoiling in shock.

He laughed and removed his hands, shoving them in his pockets.

"Sorry," he said, trying to sound sheepish even though his green eyes were alight with mischief. "It's really freaking cold outside. I wouldn't be surprised if we had more snow."

"Don't jinx us, please," I said, pulling his wrists so his hands were free from his slacks. "Put your hands over the stove. You're going to get frostbite."

"Kiss me?"

"Eww. I don't want to get frostbite, either."

He laughed in good nature, accepting my teasing, and obeyed me by holding his hands above the heat. I pulled the hamburgers from the skillet, careful not to splash grease on my man.

"Are you wearing lipstick?" he asked in surprise.

I blushed, knowing it probably looked odd. I was wearing soft red lipstick, but no mascara or blush or even cover-up. I had only applied it so I could leave a visible kiss on his letter...but I didn't want to give that away. I wanted that to be a surprise. "Yes, but only so Jessica Stanley could see my kisses on you." I stood on my tiptoes and smacked a loud kiss on his cold cheek. "Don't wipe that off."

"You are so odd sometimes."

"I am not, you-"

I was suddenly assaulted by very cold kisses.

"You what?" he asked me a minute later.

"You...you...really good kisser."

He smirked at me, softly squeezing the seat of the jogging pants I had changed into. "That's what I thought."

"Go put casual clothes on," I suggested. "We're not having a fancy dinner. I know you're still cold and wet."

EJ and Abby ran into the kitchen while Edward changed into his pajamas, both demanding "num-nums." I loaded them into their high chairs and carefully cut their burgers into small bites, leaving their tater tots intact since they liked to squish them before eating them.  
I was dressing Edward's burger just the way he liked it when I heard him enter the kitchen, wearing the plaid flannel pants and white t-shirt I had predicted. The man was still freezing, but there was a beautiful, exultant smile on his face. He held my note in his left hand.

"You mean it?" he asked excitedly, emerald irises sparkling.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course I do. Don't be silly."

"Well, it's nice to hear, anyway."

I grinned and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "I love you. I wish I knew it in more languages so I could tell you a million times."

"Mmm," he murmured, kissing my nose. "_Te amo."_ My eyelid. "_J'taime_." My jaw. "I love you."

And then he indulged in his new favorite hobby-dropping to his knees, lifting my shirt up, and tracing kisses across my belly.

"Okay," I laughed, tangling my fingers in his hair to tilt his head back after about a minute. "Poppyseed feels the love. Poppyseed relishes Daddy's kisses. But Poppyseed is hungry."

"Poppy is taking after EJ when it comes to appetite," he cooed, pressing one final kiss to my belly button. "You're going to be so big and gorgeous."

"Me, or Poppy?" I joked, internally rolling my eyes at the moniker our unborn child had somehow attained.

"Both," Edward replied, pulling back and standing up. "Oh, god, Bella," he suddenly exclaimed as he saw the look on my face. "That's not saying anything negative. I just mean that I'm going to make sure you do gain weight, because I want you and Poppy to be healthy. And of course you're going to be gorgeous. You're always lovely."

"Don't ever make a fat joke," I cautioned him. "Those are off-limits. I'll be hormonal enough."

Before I even knew what happened, I was pressed against the wall of the kitchen, his body flush against mine, close enough to let me feel every delectable muscle through his thin shirt. "Ms. Swan," he whispered in my ear, the combination of his hot breath and the firmness of his voice making me shiver. "You won't ever have to worry about that. I worship your body way too much to ever desecrate it with words. This?" He let his hands travel along my body. "This is my temple. So don't offend me by saying I'll ever make fun of it. I'm the most devout person you'll ever meet-my religion just happens to be Bella-ism. And when you say that I'll joke about my temple, my idol, it really insults me."

Whoa. Head spinning...breath catching...feet headed toward bedroom...

No. Food. EJ and Abby...

"I'm sorry," I whimpered, suddenly realizing he was kissing along my neck. There was no other word for it: I was drowning. Fast and hard. "Forgive me?"

"Mmm, how could I not?" He pulled back, the crooked grin I loved most in place across his lips, and kissed me so tenderly I swooned against his body, grateful he was still pinning me against the wall so I wouldn't disseminate into a puddle. "My goddess can do no wrong, but she sure can cause a man some pain. Baby, I love your body when you're  
pregnant."

"You've only seen it with clothes on," I mumbled, remembering my awkward pregnancy and how I had inexplicably attached myself and my children to him: the only Cullen I didn't know, yet the one who had shown me the most kindness and love.

"That's true, but I love your shape when you're pregnant, and I fantasized about it many times."

I snorted-even though I was _extremely_ interested in that little tidbit. "It's not pretty, Edward. Stretch marks and engorged breasts and cellulite and loose skin everywhere-"

"Bella. You're insulting my religion again."

"Yes, sir." I gave him a mock salute, stood on my tiptoes to kiss his neck, and then pushed him away. "Sorry, but Poppy is demanding food, sweetie."

He never called me fat, but he did make fun of me for eating two burgers. Fortunately, he encouraged me to eat more instead of looking disgusted. But two burgers were enough for me and Poppy, and we were quite content for the rest of the night. Well...we didn't really see the rest of the night, because I fell asleep very soon after dinner while Edward thoughtfully put EJ and Abby to bed.

Yes, I was a lucky girl indeed.

* * *

_Yep, kids stuff random items in their diapers. All the time. That was the story of my summer. Boys seem to be worse._

_This is going to be a short pregnancy. __I'll just cover a couple of months in each chapter. How far after the pregnancy will I write? Not sure yet...but go with it. This story will not be too much longer, though. I have a few topics to cover: Bella has to come to peace with Jake, be 100% comfortable with Edward, and of course, we need to see the entire Cullen brood :)_

_So what did Bella's note to Edward say? We'll find out next time. When will it be posted? Hopefully by the end of September._

_Review, please. I accept constructive criticism but I would prefer not to read rude complaints about how I never post any more. I have a life outside of fanfiction. Tragically, most of my life consists of reading thick classics and textbooks and writing academic papers.  
_


	25. The Big Secret of Bella and Edward

**Better late than never, right?**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three: "The Big Secret of Bella and Edward" Edward's POV**

The little note was waiting for me as I pawed through our chest of drawers. At first I worried—this was Bella's house, after all, and it could have been an old note meant for her. Maybe even one I had left her at some point or another. But the ruby red kiss that sealed the letter caught my attention, and my curiosity won out. I unfolded it hastily and smiled as I saw her familiar handwriting.

_Edward,  
It scares me a little to write this, to be honest, but Jasper said I have to get everything out in the open._

My smile vanished. My insides suddenly twisted as my heart began to slam against my chest.

_And he's a lot smarter than me, so I choose to believe him. But here's the truth: I love you. I know I tell you I love you ten, maybe twenty times a day, but it's never enough. I can never say it with enough feeling, with enough volume. I've never met another man like you._

Okay, my smile was officially back.

_You're handsome, you're intelligent, you're sensitive, you put my cooking to shame, you're funny, you're talented, you love me endlessly, and you're a wonderful father. As you well know, that last part is my favorite thing about you. It makes me melt inside when I see you lift Abby p into the air for a kiss, or when I find you and EJ asleep on the couch after a wrestling session. I even sort of like it when they prefer you over me. It does make me feel a little rejected, and I often act bitter about it, but honestly, it means the world to me that I've found a man my children love so much. I can't believe I've finally lucked out after such a disastrous marriage.  
That being said, please know that I want to wholeheartedly commit to you. I want to marry you…to carry your last name…to spend the rest of my nights next to you. But, as you know, I need time. I have so many issues to work through. I have to learn to love myself first. That's what I'm doing now. All I ask is that you never give up on me. Be patient with me, like you always are. Let me know when you see me backsliding in the wrong direction. Excuse the days when I take my anger out on you. I know I do it too often. And please accept my apologies.  
I'm so excited to marry you…eventually. I can't wait to watch my belly swell with your child. I can't wait for your hands to feel our little poppyseed kick my tummy. I'm already imagining your love songs to this baby. I constantly imagine my future with you.  
I love you more than life, sweetheart. Never forget that.  
Yours,  
Bella_

Shivers shot down my spine as I finished reading the letter. I never doubted that she loved me…but she really wanted to marry me?

Truly?

Not anytime soon.

_But now is such a great time to buy a ring…_

_ Whoa, Edward. Slow down._

Suddenly, a realization dawned on me: I needed to talk to Rosalie and Alice. They knew Bella front and back, and they needed to alert me when _they_ saw she was waiting for a proposal.

* * *

I was pretty sure I had seen Bella puke up every color of the rainbow by now. It hurt me to see her so sick every day, but she almost wore the morning sickness with…pride? I could practically see her square her shoulders and march on after she emptied her stomach in the toilet.

Every. Single. Morning.

I was _so _happy that God or nature or whatever had decided that women should do the childbearing.

But I was a faithful boyfriend as I routinely took care of her whenever Poppy decided that he or she didn't like whatever Bella ate. However, I noticed a few other things that I found strange.

Bella was eating _a lot._

More than me, actually. Sort of…well, Emmett-sized portions.

And she was tired all the time. She tried to stay active with EJ and Abby, but building a blanket fort in the living room was enough to wear her out.

"Don't panic," she had mumbled once as I carried her to bed. "My body is just worn out because it's building a little house for—" She stopped to yawn. "Poppy."

I wanted so badly to speak with my father about this, but Bella was adamant that we were going to wait until the "right time" to reveal the news. And there was no way I was going to cross that line. The woman was so hormonal.

Take the day she finally decided to cut EJ's hair, for example.

Alice had offered to be our beautician. She cut Jasper's hair periodically and had even occasionally tended to mine since I had been living in Washington. Bella reasoned that my fashion-conscious sister would be careful to keep EJ looking good—and it would be financially smart, since Alice wasn't charging us anything. So we loaded up and drove to the house she had bought with Jasper.

Alice wrapped a towel around EJ's shoulders and pinned it with a hairclip so it would stay in place, while Bella put him in the portable high chair she had brought. I wasn't really sure what to do, except to hold Abby and let the women work their magic. Alice picked up the scissors and—

"Stop," Bella squeaked.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked, clearly concerned.

"Ah…ah…I…"

"Love?" I murmured, putting Abby on the floor and wrapping an arm around Bella. "Are you okay?"

"Don't hurt him, Ali," Bella whispered.

"Of course not," Alice rolled her eyes. "Are you okay?"

Bella inhaled sharply before nodding. "Yeah….cut it."

Alice pulled the blades apart and tugged on a strand of hair.

"Stop!" Bella exclaimed again. "Oh, god, I can't do this. Let it grow. I don't care if he looks like Jacob or a girl or whatever."

I pulled Bella into a hg. "Sweetie," I murmured into her temple, "Alice knows what she's doing. Give her a chance. It's just a haircut."

"But his hair is so beautiful…"

"Baby." I kissed her hair. "You hate it. It will be so much easier to take care of if it's short. Think of what's happening in the future." Very subtly, I placed a hand on her stomach. Alice didn't even notice—she was too busy texting Jasper.

Bella drew in a shaky breath and nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks. Alice shrugged, and took the first snip.

Bella shrieked.

Bella cried.

Alice kept cutting.

EJ looked so unbelievably handsome.

His raven hair was short, but still long enough to fall in his eyes. He looked like…a boy.

Plus I could see more of Bella in him, once all of that Jacob hair was gone.

Bella started crying again because he was so adorable.

Yeah…this was my life now. I had a tired, sick, emotional girlfriend who was dedicating every ounce of energy to loving everyone around her. Needless to say, I was amazed by her. She had such strength.

And the little love letters continued.

Some of them were long, detailing reasons why she loved me. Some of them were very short-just _I love you, handsome_ on the mirror or _You are so precious to me_ in the lunch she made me. And not all of them were really love letters. Some were kind complaints about my overprotective tendencies, or something like that. But I could see that was her way of opening up to communication, something we desperately needed. We had a wonderfully happy relationship, but it always felt like we were going in circles. Either we held every emotion in or we erupted like a shaken can of soda. Notes weren't as effective as talking face-to-face, but this was a start.

I started to leave notes, too, but never anything really serious. I didn't want to discourage her note-writing. I would leave _You're gorgeous_ in her makeup bag, or romantic song lyrics in her coat pocket.

We were making progress.

Which was good, because while Bella and I were slowly getting used to the idea of open communication and another bug on the way, the rest of the Cullens were making progress, too. Alice and Jasper's wedding was just around the corner. I could hardly believe it, but my little sister was finally getting married. She had postponed the wedding quite a few times for Bella's sake, but this was actually really happening.

And Bella was a bridesmaid, but the black dress wouldn't zip.

She wasn't showing yet-her stomach just poked out after she ate-but she had obviously put on some weight from the constant eating and resting.

Naturally, my psychotic sister's obsession with fashion and perfection would be what outed the Big Secret of Bella and Edward.

Alice had insisted on having the bridesmaids (Bella and Rosalie) try on their dresses one more time at Mom and Dad's house while the groomsmen (me and Emmett) tried on our tuxes. The wedding was a month away, so that gave Alice a spacious time frame to have any alterations made. I hadn't gained any "sympathy weight," as Bella called it, so my tuxedo fit perfectly. I sat in the living room in the tux so Alice could inspect it when Rosalie floated downstairs, the black dress flaring around her body as she twirled down the stairs.

"Look at Mommy," my mom gushed to Evan, who was sitting in her lap. "Isn't Mommy beautiful?"

Rosalie did look good. Every ounce of baby weight seemed to be gone, and you could tell that Rose was very proud of that. She cackled in delight, earning a playful swat on the bottom from Emmett, who obviously liked what he saw.

"I look amazing," Rose sighed vainly as she stared at the mirror. "Mama finally got her groove back."

"Mama never lost her groove," Emmett remarked, making everyone laugh.

But I was distracted by Bella, who was at the top of the stairs. Her hands were holding up the strapless dress that seemed to be unzipped, and she was gesturing to me.

"What, Bella?" I asked her, earning the attention of everyone.

Bella sighed and glared at me. "Get your ass up here," she hissed.

"Eddie's in trouble," Emmett hummed as I ran up the stairs.

Bella ran back into Alice's bedroom. I followed her as quickly as I could. Alice was in full bridezilla mode, pacing back and forth and tugging at her hair.

"How could you have gained weight?" my sister groaned. "Bella, I told you to watch what you eat because you've been wolfing down everything you see..."

"Shut up, Alice," Bella rolled her eyes. "Let's just see if Edward can zip me up. C'mere, Edward."

I stepped behind her and helped her straighten her shoulders. I tugged on the zipper, but it wouldn't budge.

"Okay, suck in," I murmured, knowing I was in dangerous territory, but also knowing that her secret was more important to her than any fat comments. I helped her square her shoulders again, and she sucked in her belly as much as she could, but it simply would not zip.

"Oh, god," she whimpered.

"I can't believe this!" Alice exclaimed.

"Alice, shut up," Bella rolled her eyes. "This happens, okay? It's a size six; it's not like I can't use a few extra pounds. Edward, try to put together the hooks at the top of the zipper and see if that helps."

"No dice," I sighed after trying. "You've gained weight, love."

"Of course I have," Bella moaned, covering her face with her hands. "Okay, I can have it exchanged for a size seven or eight. No biggie, right?"

"That's what you say," Alice spat, clearly pissed off. "But you haven't been surviving on a diet of water and dressing-free salad just so you can fit into your size three wedding gown! You've been pigging out every day, Bella! It's not fair!"

I watched in disbelief as my little sister stormed out of the bedroom and stomped down the stairs.

Bella let out a curse word. "Ugh, Edward, hand me my jeans, will you? She's so pissed at me."

I gathered up her clothes and helped her out of her dress. "Don't worry about Alice. We can drive to Seattle and exchange it for a bigger size. Sweetie, I'm glad you're gaining weight. We don't need a repeat of your last pregnancy."

"I know, but god, this sucks. My bugs always have bad timing."

When she was fully dressed in jeans and a sweater, I pulled her into a hug and a brief kiss. "I'll tell Alice to screw herself. You look beautiful. You look healthy."

"Don't tell her that," Bella sighed, shaking her head. "I'll handle it."

After a few more kisses, we went downstairs, where Alice begrudgingly approved of my tuxedo. I took it off and changed back into my clothes. When I joined the family again, everyone was in the kitchen, giggling as Mom gave Abby one of her sugar cookies with raspberry frosting-a favorite Cullen recipe. Abby wasn't too sure about it, though. She was much more interested in dragging her finger through the bright red frosting.

"Silly girl," Bella chuckled, taking the cookie from Abby. "Look, you eat it. Num-num." She broke off half the cookie and popped a bite into her mouth. "So yummy."

"Bella, are you sure you need to do that?" Alice asked my girlfriend.

Uh-oh. I could see the hormonal fire in Bella's eyes as she looked up at Alice. "Why, yes," my love said curtly. "I'm hungry, so I'm going to share a snack with my little girl."

"This is going to be good," Emmett chuckled, earning a smack from Rosalie.

"Do you have any idea how many calories are in one cookie?" Alice shot back, hysteria rising in her voice. "I mean, what if we can't fix the dress problem in time? What am I going to do, Bella?"

"What is going on?" Dad asked loudly.

Rosalie sighed dramatically. "Bella can't fit into her bridesmaid dress, and Alice is about to have an aneurysm."

"Alice," Jasper spoke up. "Lay off. We can get it fixed."

"I'm not going to lay off!" Alice shouted. "I don't know what I'm going to do! And Bella is just embracing even more weight that is certainly coming her way if she keeps eating like this! I mean, this isn't even healthy for my best friend and future sister-in-law, Jazz!"

"That's none of your business, Alice," I replied quietly.

"It is, because I'm paying for the alterations," she glared at me.

"Paying for the alterations is not a big deal," Mom cut in. "Alice, bridezillas are not attractive."

"Mom, it's not fair. I'm practically starving myself so I can fit into my dress. The dress that requires a corset. So forgive me if I'm a little pissed that she can just indulge and not care what kind of hoops I'll have to jump through to fix her mistakes."

This is where Bella lost it. "Well forgive me, Mary Alice Cullen, if I'm not going to starve myself for your wedding. And for your information, I'm eating perfectly healthy portions. I do count calories, and they match up exactly what I need each day."

"Oh, please," Alice rolled her eyes. "For lunch, you had chicken, lasagna, garlic bread, mixed vegetables, and cheesecake. Now you're eating cookies. And you've been drinking sugary juice all day. Give it a rest, Bella. That's not healthy. If I did that, I'd look like a balloon."

What Bella said next was a mutter.

"You're not eating for two, Alice."

Stunned silence filled the room. Jasper stared at me, while everyone else stared at Bella.

"What did you say?" Rosalie gasped.

I cleared my throat before I squeaked, "Bella, love?"

Bella shook her head. "No, Edward, I guess it's time they know before I'm further persecuted for my eating habits. Alice, I've gained weight because I'm pregnant."

The shock was palpable in the air. Silence was thick...but leave it to my mother to break it.

"Oh my god!" Mom shouted. "My baby is having a baby! Another baby!"

"I knew it!" Emmett suddenly screamed, pumping his fist in the air. "I just told Dad that she's been hormonal as hell."

"What do you mean?" Rosalie begged Bella.

Bella shook her head, a small smile on her face. "It's totally unexpected, but I...we...I mean, me and Edward...are going to have another baby. We found out a couple of weeks ago. I'm still very early in the pregnancy, but my OB-GYN doesn't want me to have a repeat of my  
last pregnancy, when I couldn't gain weight. So I'm moderately overindulging. Today I had chicken for protein, pasta and bread for carbs, vegetables and juice for vitamins, and desserts just because I like them. Obviously it's working, because I am gaining weight. I don't want to be obese, but I know a little extra padding is better than no weight gain at all. So I'm sorry, Alice, for screwing up your wedding, but I would rather have a dress crisis than a health crisis for me and our little bug."

Alice was quiet as Bella's little speech sank in. I walked behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her cheek. She smiled at me and snuggled into me, finally looking content, like a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders. My family, surprisingly, stayed silent as they waited on Alice's response.

"I'm...so sorry," Alice sputtered, tears in her eyes. "I just...I didn't know. Obviously. No one did. Oh my god, Bella. It's fine, I swear. We'll get you a new dress, if you want. One that you'll be more comfortable in..."

"No, I love this dress," Bella replied softly. "I just need a new size. You're forgiven, Alice. I realize that you didn't know."

"Thank you so much," my sister sniffled, walking over to hug her. "Congratulations, sis. I'm so happy for you!"

The flurry of questions and exclamations started then. Mom, Rosalie, and Alice wanted to know everything: cravings, morning sickness symptoms, whether we were going to get married. I was elated when Bella said she was definitely going to marry me-one day. The men, meanwhile, patted me on the back. Emmett complimented me on my "manly offerings" and brought me a beer from the kitchen.

Of course this only gave my mom an excuse to cook dinner for us. Bella and I had been planning on leaving after the fittings since she grew sick so easily, but we really couldn't turn Mom down. My dad went into hyper doctor mode and made Bella sit on the couch while Alice and Rosalie dreamed of another niece.

I was quite glad that they seemed to share my vision of a little pink-clad Poppy, even if Bella rolled her eyes.

When they started to discuss breast soreness, I took that as my cue to leave. I gave a peck to Bella's lips, earning an "Awww!" from my sisters, even though they had seen us kiss countless times.

"He's going to be such a good daddy," Alice gushed.

"What are you talking about?" Bella snorted. "He already is."

"Thank you, love," I murmured, kissing her cheek. Now that our secret was out, she was literally glowing, a huge smile on her face. Any doubts about this baby had been erased by my family's enthusiasm. I couldn't resist basking in it with her. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"I'm not even showing yet, and you are all trying to pamper me," she rolled her eyes, giving my cheek a pat. "Stop and go hang with your brothers. I can see that the estrogen is killing you."

But I didn't go to Emmett's game room. Instead, I went to the kitchen, where Mom was letting Abby and EJ play with an array of refrigerator magnets. I chuckled as they peeled the various magnets off the fridge and gleefully stuck them back on, seemingly transfixed by the science they couldn't understand.

Mom grinned at me in such a dazzling way I could only laugh.

"I knew it was coming," she gloated, pulling me into a hug. "I'm so proud of you."

"Why?" I joked. "Because I knocked a girl up outside of wedlock?"

"No, because you have found the love of your life and the one you want to be with. That is very rare nowadays." She kissed my cheek. "And I'm proud of you for taking care of her, her children, and your child. Your children."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes as Mom's green eyes started to tear up. "Mom..."

"I know," she sighed guiltily. "I know. I'll stop. Just know that I am very proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom," I murmured, kissing her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, darling."

"So...are you excited to have another grandchild to spoil?"

She laughed, the lines at the corners of her eyes crinkling up. "So excited. I want a girl, so our big family is balanced."

"Me, too."

We were suddenly interrupted by EJ, who came running to me and started pulling on my pantsleg. "It's a puppy!" he exclaimed. "It's a puppy! It's a puppy, Daddy, it's a puppy!"

Puzzled, I lifted him up and held him in the crook of my arm. "Where, buddy? Where is the puppy?"

He proudly held out a dog-shaped magnet, flashing a grin that he clearly inherited from Bella. "It's Nana's puppy."

"Very good," I praised him, kissing his smile. "It's Nana's puppy. What does the puppy say?"

"Woof woof," he giggled as he touched my face. "Woof woof, Daddy! Say woof woof!"

"Woof woof," I barked at him, playfully nibbling on his fingers as they traveled up to my mouth. "You are one handsome boy."

"I know," he replied, wiggling out of my arms and leaving me and Mom to gaze at each other in astonishment.

"Emmett definitely taught him that," she finally decided, shrugging it off. "At least it's not a curse word."

I finally walked to Emmett's game room to join the men. They all tore their attention away from the X-Box to slap me high fives again. I tried not to snort at the sight of my graying father playing a _Grand Theft Auto_ game.

"Excited?" Dad asked me, not taking his eyes off the screen as he shot some thug.

"Immensely. I think we both are."

"Have you said anything to EJ and Abby yet? Like, there's a baby in Mommy's tummy?"

I shook my head. "No, they had difficulty understanding when Rosalie was pregnant. I think we'll wait until they're a little older and they start asking questions about Bella's big tummy. They're already starting to use sentences. Plus, god forbid…if something goes wrong early in the pregnancy, they just shouldn't have to know about it. Bella isn't considered to be high risk, but we're still a little nervous. I'm praying she won't have to go on bed-rest again."

"Well, life is different now," Jasper pointed out. "A lot of factors have changed."

I nodded. "I know."

"I know Bella already answered this question, but I want to hear it from you," Dad told me. "When are you going to marry her?"

I shrugged. "When she finally says yes, I guess."

"Yeah, but you have to have a proposal and a ring," Jasper rolled his eyes. "She won't say yes unless you do."  
Emmett and Dad murmured in agreement.

"Actually, Bella is nothing like Alice, Rose, or Mom. She wouldn't even care about that. And I'm definitely going to plan an elaborate proposal and buy a beautiful ring. But I don't want to take those steps until I know she's ready."

"She'll be ready soon," Dad prophesied. "Her nesting instinct will kick in. Speaking of, have you thought about real estate?"

After a few levels of _Grand Theft Auto _and dry conversation about mortgage rates, I returned to the girls. Abby immediately abandoned EJ and reached for me. I scooped her up and joined the women on the couch.

"Eww, no boys allowed," Alice teased me. "We're planning a new nursery theme."

"We have to know the gender for that," I remarked. "And we actually have to have a room we can use as a nursery for the new little bug."

"Well, we wanted to move anyway," Bella shrugged. "It will have to be before the baby is born. It won't be fun to have a crib in our bedroom, and knowing you, you'll never let the baby learn to self-soothe."

Rosalie, who was nursing Evan under a blanket, nodded as she stared at her son. "Yeah, having a separate room for the baby has saved my relationship with Emmett. It's nice to have a Mommy-and-Daddy room."

"You're the one who was anti-self-soothing," I reminded Bella. "But you have gotten better. Hasn't she, Abby Hope?"

Abby stayed in my lap, but looked up at me and nodded seriously. I kissed her forehead.

"Who is giving you kisses, Abby?" Mom cooed to my daughter.

"My daddy," she smiled proudly, hiding her face in my neck. I laughed and hugged her to my chest.

"I love you, Abby-Bug," I murmured to her.

"I love you too, Daddy."

"I don't even have a little girl anymore," Bella complained playfully, standing up and pressing a hand to her belly. "Edward has taken my Abby away from me. I'll be right back."

As soon as Bella was out of earshot, I asked the girls, "Has she mentioned marriage? A wedding? Engagement? Anything?"

Three pairs of eyes-Mom's emerald, Alice's baby blue, and Rosalie's unique shade of almost violet-stared at me curiously. "Have you proposed?" Rose asked me, clearly confused.

"Not officially," I explained. "She always dodges marriage talk. But I want to. Soon. But I want her to be ready."

"She hasn't said anything, so we can't help you there," Alice explained, "but we'll all let you know if she does."

I grinned and nodded. "Thanks, ladies."

"And," Alice added, "I'll help you pick out a ring when that time comes. If you want."

It was actually quite sweet of my little sister, to want to help me like that. "Thanks, Allie," I said. "I knew there was a heart beneath the ice."

She stuck her tongue out at me.

"You can help," I promised, trying to nip any sudden bridezilla mood swings in the bud.

"Unless Bella wants my ring," Mom whispered. "You are the oldest boy, after all. It's tradition."

My eyes flickered to the stunning heirloom engagement ring on Mom's left hand. A round diamond, surrounded by four round sapphires. White silver threaded around the stones, making a delicate web that held it all together. It was clearly an antique, vintage in every sense of the world. It was unique and sentimental.

It was Bella.

"Do you mind?" I asked Mom, unable to take my eyes off of it.

Mom shook her head and smiled. "No, honey, I offered it to you."

I chewed my bottom lip, deep in thought. "Let me think about it."

Bella returned then, giving me a funny look. She was carrying EJ, which made me narrow my eyes at her. She wasn't supposed to be lifting them. But I said nothing, not wanting to ruin her good mood. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Edward doesn't like my idea for a princess-themed nursery," Rosalie shrugged, not missing a beat.

"Oh." Bella sat down next to me and cradled EJ against her breast. "Guess what time it is, baby boy?"

"No," EJ complained, trying to wiggle out of her arms. "No night-night time, Mommy."

"Yes, it's night-night time, sweetie," Bella argued with him, nuzzling her nose to his face. "You need a nap or we're all going to be suffering."

"No."

"Ready for a nap, Abby?" I asked the bug who was currently clinging to me and playing with my earlobe. I already knew she was. She was following her own "nesting instinct"—snuggling into my arms, hiding her face in my neck, and constantly trying to get closer.

"No!"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"I love you, Daddy!"

Bella giggled next to me. "Argue that one, Edward."

I sighed in mock defeat. "Well played, Abby, well played."

"Daddy..."

"What?"

"I love you." She looked at me expectantly, throwing her hands up in the air in apparent exasperation.

Ah. I got it. "I love you, too, buggy."

Abby probably told me that a hundred times a day, but I never grew tired of hearing it.

And Bella kept telling me, too. So often through her words and notes and letters that I found myself thinking about my mother's ring quite often as the days passed.

But I was going to be good. Bella would come to me in time.

And then I could make her mine for eternity.

* * *

**Er, I love reviews, and I like to chat on Twitter. Drop a line and hi. And I'm hoping to have this story finished by the time spring semester starts (January 10), but now that I'm in college, my family likes me, so they like to monopolize all of my spare time when I'm home. So I'm going to post as much as possible as soon as possible.**


	26. I've Got Everything

**As one of my favorite readers said, Santa MUST be real...yep, you're getting a new chapter already! This one is long and rather fun, I think.**

Special thanks to rosellebec for the song that Edward and Bella dance to in this chapter. It's called "Now That I've Found You" and is sung by Paul McDonald and his new wife Nikki Reed (yes, THAT Nikki Reed). She sent me the link for it, saying it made her teary-eyed as she read the last chapter. I agreed that it was quite perfect, so I included it. I hope you love it as much as I do.

**Fluff and maybe some humor ahead.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four: "I've Got Everything" (Bella's POV)**

"Well, Bells, you could give the man a hand," Charlie chuckled as we approached the table he was currently occupying at the Lodge. Well, _I _approached it, with a diaper bag on my shoulder, and Edward lagged behind a bit, since he had an armful of children. EJ and Abby were both in strange moods—they were irritating the devil out of each other, and were both currently trying to see who could take up the most room in their daddy's arms. My cheeks flamed as EJ shoued, "No, Abby!" and shoved his sister away. My kids were typically well-behaved in public—they were naturally sweet and peaceful. But they were both a little intolerable today. I hoped they weren't getting sick. Like their mother, they grew moody when they felt bad.

"I've got it," Edward said, seemingly thankful that Charlie had thought to ask for two high chairs ahead of time. I helped him situate the kids in the high chairs, but he gently swatted my hand away whenever I tried to take one of them away from him. He was a stickler about me "overexerting" myself. After I pulled the bugs to opposite ends of the table, I accepted the hug that Charlie had been patiently waiting to give me. "Hi, Dad," I greeted him, kissing his cheek.

Charlie blushed under the spot I kissed. "You're in a good mood today, Bells," he mumbled, shaking Edward's hand.

I shrugged and finally took a seat. EJ and Abby both watched like vultures as I poured two juice boxes into sippy cups and handed one to each of them. They both practically snatched them away. Sheesh—greedy little bugs.

"What do you say?" Edward prodded them, stroking Abby's hair.

"Thank you, Mommy," they both muttered.

"You're welcome," I replied emphatically. Manners were our latest ambition. Abby and EJ were picking up words left and right. Even Emmett seemed to censor himself, knowing that anything he said could quite possibly be parroted. So we were trying to say "please," "thank you," "you're welcome," "ma'am," and "sir" as much as possible.

"No," Abby muttered, jerking away from Edward's hand.

"Happy little guys, aren't they?" Charlie laughed, clearly taking delight in his grandchildren's grumpiness. Of course it was funny for him—he didn't have to go home with them.

"They've been crabby all day," I explained, glancing through the menu. Edward's fingers drummed languidly on my knee as we perused the food options. "I'm not sure why."

"Okay, what's up?" Charlie asked with a grain of suspicion in his voice. As I looked up at him, I saw that he was leaning back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't eat out often, but you brought me to the nicest restaurant in town," he said.  
"Are you sure you guys don't have something to tell me?"

Edward's finger tapping ceased, and we looked at each other with stupid grins on our faces. Charlie huffed as we had the telepathic conversation that only lovers can: _Do you want to tell him? No, I don't want to tell him. You tell him. Why me? You should. He's your dad. He's your future father-in-law. You're the pregnant one. You're the one who knocked me up. Wait, I want to tell him. No, maybe not…_

Not that we could actually read each other's minds, but we knew each other well enough to know exactly what was being communicated here.

"Fine," Charlie sighed. "When's the wedding, kiddos?"

Our eyes snapped over to his. "I beg your pardon?" I replied, my mouth open.

"Well, what else could it be? Obviously he proposed—"

"I _did _propose," Edward rolled his eyes, giving me an exasperated look. "She just keeps saying no."

"Well, then what is it?" Charlie was clearly growing impatient with this.

"Well," I said slowly, wondering why I was so shy about this. Probably because I had known what the Cullens' reactions would be: undying joy and enthusiasm. I wasn't so sure about Charlie's. "Um…we do need to tell you something, but it's not that we're engaged."

His brown eyes were blank. "Go on."

"I don't need you to freak out. Just remember that we're both adults, and we're perfectly capable of making our own decisions."

"I'm aware."

I took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

Usually, my father is an open book—at least, he is to me. We have much of the same personality, so we've always clicked with each other. But tonight was a rare occasion. Instead of being able to judge his mood by the color of his skin (white is good; purple means his blood pressure is through the roof), I was left to guess. His skin may have turned a little paler, but his expression remained the same: passive, blank, unreadable.

"Say something?" I requested meekly after a period of time long enough for the waitress to take our drink order and then bring us the drinks.

He finally let out a long breath, and looked down at the menu. "Well, I'm shocked. I thought you two were more responsible than this."

Edward and I exchanged a glance as Charlie read the menu. I honestly couldn't tell if he was thinking of another grandchild or debating the ribeye versus the New York strip. Poor Edward was biting his lip. Once again I could imagine what was running through his mind: _Cops are supposed to stay calm before they shoot someone._

"We've been very responsible," I said quietly. "I mean, I never missed a dose of birth control. These things…happen."

Charlie nodded pensively and opened his mouth to say something, but we were interrupted by a sudden clatter coming from my right. I gasped as I saw EJ throw his sippy cup on the floor, and then follow it with a set of silverware wrapped in a cloth napkin.

"EJ!" I groaned, barely smacking his hand just hard enough to get his attention. "No!"

My son glared at me as I bent down and picked up his mess. In a rush to move things away from his eager hands, I pushed all of the silverware, menus, and spice shakers away, and then put his sippy cup on the other side of the table.

"Mommy," he groaned, eyes on the cup.

"No. You lost it."

Unsurprisingly, he began to cry. What _was _shocking, however, was that he turned to Charlie with outstretched arms. "Grandpa," he moaned, fat tears rolling down his face.

Charlie chuckled and stood to pick him up. I didn't really agree with the way EJ was suddenly being coddled, but he immediately stopped crying and we quit receiving dirty looks from the other customers.

"Is your mommy being mean?" Charlie asked, bouncing him on his thigh. "Well, let Grandpa Charlie just give you some Coke, then."

My eyes bulged as my dad picked up his glass of soda and helped EJ drink out of the straw. "Dad—"

"Bells, are you sure you can handle another one?" Charlie asked me, dismissing my complaints about the soda.

"I hope so," I grumbled, crossing my arms and leaning back in my chair.

Charlie looked up at Edward as EJ drank away. I could practically see the caffeine dripping into his tiny veins. "And Edward my boy, are you sure _you_ can handle it?"

"Positive," Edward replied with total confidence, giving me a secret smirk.

"Okay," Charlie shrugged. "Then all I can do is be honest. I'm worried for both of your sanities, but I'm genuinely excited about having another grandkid to love."

"Thank you," I said, relief washing through my body before I realized that EJ had already inhaled half the glass. "Dad, can you please take the Coke away? He'll be bouncing off the walls all night long."

"No way, Bells," Charlie smirked at me, a mischievous glint in his eye. "We might as well start conditioning you to staying up all night again."

"Ha. Ha. You're so clever. Stop."

"No, you _can handle it_."

"Do you doubt my abilities as a mother?" I snapped, looking to Edward in disbelief.

"Of course not," Charlie chuckled. "Get real, Bells. You know I think you're a wonderful mama. I'm just fulfilling my responsibilities as a grandpa." He paused and shook his head. "Three grandbabies. Wow."

The reverence on his face was so overwhelming that I suddenly forgot why I was upset or frustrated with him. He looked just as excited as Esme and Carlisle—just in his own quiet Charlie way.

He suddenly looked up at Edward. "You know, I could kill you for getting her pregnant outside of marriage," he said thoughtfully, "but you've been too good for her. I couldn't ask for a better man for my daughter."

"Thank you, Charlie," Edward murmured. "That truly means everything to me. You're the only man whose love for her is comparable to mine."

I could tell by his voice just how much he meant it. I leaned over and kissed my boyfriend's cheek, resting my head on his shoulder.

Charlie nodded and glanced down at EJ. "Okay, enough Coke," he finally told my child. "Or your mom will kill me."

"Damn right," I muttered, snuggling into Edward's side.

Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

Once we had told our secret to everyone in our life who mattered, time suddenly started to fly by.

First was Alice's and Jasper's wedding. Alice's little meltdown had been for nothing; the store was more than happy to trade the dress for one size larger. It was a good thing, too, because on the big day, I was showing. It was just a little bump, but still, it was more prominent than expected for a woman who was just under three months along.

Edward couldn't keep his eyes—or his hands—off of me when we were at home. He was thrilled that I was "finally" showing. I think it made the pregnancy more tangible for him. He didn't get to experience the morning sickness and the breast tenderness, but he could finally feel the hard little bump. It just solidified the "poppyseed" inside me as a baby. Even on the day of the wedding, as the bridal party dressed and primped for the ceremony, he kept sneaking in just to look at me with that crooked grin I loved. The dress Alice had picked out for the bridesmaids wasn't formfitting, so there was only a shadow of a bump, but he kept smiling at it and feeling it.

The wedding went off without a hitch. It was long overdue, and it felt like the wedding party and the guests agreed with that. Alice and Jasper had been gracious enough to postpone it continuously throughout my various obstacles over the last three years. I had felt guilty about it, but that guilt was washed away as I realized how perfect this day was. Alice was given the perfect winter wedding she had always dreamed of, complete with a light dusting of snow on her parents' backyard. And the day was even more special now that the two bridesmaids and two groomsmen were coupled off. The mama in me was so proud to see my little boy and girl to be big enough to serve as the ringbearer and flower girl.

Overall, the wedding was a celebration of love. The love between Alice and Jasper—including their heartfelt vows that made everyone cry and the obnoxiously long kiss at the altar. The love in the Cullen family—the tightly-knit group that I had joined. And the love between friends. Whether I was dancing with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, or Edward, the friendship between us all was perfect. I was so drunk on the happiness and love that surrounded me that I even gave into Alice's ridiculous whims. Despite my shyness and clumsiness, Alice deemed me "not pregnant enough" to skip out on the dance routine she and Rosalie had choreographed. I felt so silly performing the line dance with Ali, Rose, and Esme, but we ended up laughing so hard we cried again.

It was_ almost _my favorite moment of the night.

My absolute favorite moment was late in the night, when the music was still loud and the champagne was still being poured. (Or sparkling cider, in my case.) I was surprised that Alice and Jasper hadn't escaped yet, but I wasn't about to kick them out. They were having too much fun dancing with each other, staring into each other's eyes in that way that Edward and I were so often guilty of. EJ and Abby had long ago passed out and were tucked into Edward's bed in his old room. It was no surprise—they were constantly dance partners with _someone_, whether it was a crazy freestyle with Emmett or a waltz with Esme.

My feet were hurting, but I couldn't resist Edward's smile as he pulled me onto the dance floor as a new song started to play. I had never heard it before, but naturally my musician knew every lyric. He pulled me close, taking one of my hands and resting his other hand securely on my back. I melted into his chest, breathing in his scent and just enjoying the fact that I was his, and he was mine. After the song ended, I tried to pull away, but he held me close.

"I made a request," he whispered in my ear. "Just one more dance?"

I pretended to give him a glare of exasperation, but he kissed away any qualms I may have had. When the lyrics started to play, he started to sing in my ear as we swayed.

_I hope your eyes just smile forever,  
Only once I told a lie.  
I hope these days go on forever,  
And I'm always right by your side.  
You're all I want to know  
For the rest of my life._

Yes…perhaps my opinion on marriage had been frayed a bit, but I couldn't deny the love between the bride and the groom today. Edward clearly already felt that love for me, but he needed more. Hell, I needed more. Marriage would mean forever for me and Edward. But before the wheels in my head could start turning, he continued singing.

_I can't help what time has done,  
And how long I had to wait.  
Now I've found your hand in mine,  
I hope I didn't come too late.  
There's no beauty like your face  
In the morning light._

No…Edward didn't come too late, or even too early. He came at exactly the right time.

_And all my life I have been so scared,  
And I never knew I ever wanted you there.  
I've been broke, been bust, been snared,  
So love lost and under-prepared, baby.  
And now that I've found you, now that I've got you,  
I've got everything, my dear._

Scared…broken…busted…snared…lost…under-prepared. That was certainly a way to describe me over the last three years. But now I really had everything, right here between my arms. Edward and our baby, all wrapped up in me. EJ and Abby were sleeping, warm and safe and knowing they were loved by two parents. I really had everything.

'_Cause you mean everything to me, my dear,  
I see you in my thoughts,  
And I hear you in my sleep.  
And now that I've found you,  
Now that I've got you, I've got everything.  
And the feeling that you give me is like a runaway train,  
If I held you like I wanna,  
You would never go away._

I felt sweet relief radiate through my heart and mind as I realized that Edward really would never go away. He would never leave me in body, soul, mind, or heart. We were irrevocably joined, twined together through our love for each other and for our children. My hold on him was permanent and unbreakable.

_I love you sleeping with your socks on,  
And I love your laughter in our house.  
I love your smile in the morning,  
And I love your head upon my chest.  
I miss your kisses in the evening,  
Baby when you're away.  
And I miss my hands on your hips,  
And I miss the smell of your perfume  
And the lipstick on your lips._

The way Edward sang these lyrics to me—cupping my hips, nuzzling my neck and inhaling, and then staring suggestively at my lips—made me so giggly and giddy that I could only kiss Edward until I had my fill of him. I knew our silliness was probably taking away the spotlight from the bride and groom, but I also knew that Alice wouldn't mind. She was probably thrilled to see her brother so happy.

And me—yeah, I was happy, too.

* * *

Alice and Jasper finally left for their honeymoon in Jamaica with a firm command to call them and let them know everything once I had my first ultrasound in a week. It seemed like it was an eternity away, but the week actually flew by. I found myself becoming the victim of frigid ultrasound gel at an impossible speed.

Edward was thrilled, of course, shifting from foot to foot and watching the technician as she slathered the gel on my bump. Dr. McCray had felt that an ultrasound was the smart thing to do, since I was already showing a bit drastically for three months along. I took Edward's hand and waited impatiently for the probe to start moving over my skin. Edward was even more impatient, but calmed himself by kissing my fingers and smiling down at me.

I could practically hear Ricky Ricardo singing "She's Having My Baby" in his head.

Finally, the technician, Chelsea, deemed it time to look inside my uterus. She looked amused at Edward's excitement, but reminded him that he would be able to see only a blob at this point. He was unfazed, of course. Finally, the picture registered on the screen.

Well…sort of. Forks still hadn't updated their ultrasound machine, I noticed.

"Is that it?" Edward asked, disappointed as the fuzz took over the little screen.

"No," Chelsea giggled. "It just takes forever for the picture to appear."

"Oh, good." He sounded relieved, like a little boy who had just found out that rain hadn't shut down Disneyworld, after all.

The picture finally registered, and I frowned.

_No…that can't be right._

_ What in the world?_

Edward seemed to be stunned, but not in the same way as me. His green eyes were filled with wonder as he saw the first picture of his biological offspring. I noticed a teardrop escape the corner of his eye.

It was a beautiful moment. But I was stunned for an entirely different reason.

"Uh, Chelsea?" I asked the technician nervously. "Are you sure this is the right image? This is _my _ultrasound?"

Chelsea glanced at me incredulously. "With all due respect, Ms. Swan, who else would it belong to?"

I was baffled, to say the least.

"That's definitely your uterus," she grinned widely at me. "It looks like—"

"This isn't my ultrasound from my last pregnancy, is it?" I interrupted. "Do these machines save images by patient?"

"No, ma'am, this is what your womb looks like, at this very moment."

"Bella, what's going on?" Edward asked me, tearing his eyes away from the screen to look at me in concern.

"There's…two," I pointed, sitting up slightly to touch the screen. "One blob…and another blob."

Chelsea was obviously excited for her patients, because the words bubbled up before I was ready to hear them. "Congratulations! You're having twins!"

I had to admire her youthful enthusiasm, even though I felt faint.

_Twins?_

But I couldn't focus on _my_ possibility of passing out right then.

Because suddenly, Edward fell over and smacked his head on the edge of the counter.

"Shit!" Chelsea exclaimed, running to fuss over him. "I've never seen a father pass outbefore!"

My midsection was covered in gel, but I sat up and walked to Edward's limp body. "Chelsea, go get a nurse," I directed her.

Looking a little fearful, she nodded and bolted out of the room.

"Edward, baby," I said, lightly slapping his face, my stomach rolling as I realized he had cut his head and was currently bleeding. "Wake up, for crying out loud. I kind of need you right now because _I'm freaking out, too_."

* * *

I walked into the Cullens' house, not even bothering to knock or ring the doorbell. Esme met me at the door with a huge expectant smile on her face—a smile that abruptly disappeared when she saw her son standing behind me, with a bandage and an icepack nursing his head.

"What happened?" she demanded, running to him.

"Edward passed out," I said smugly, even though now was certainly not the time to be smug.

"Why the hell did you pass out?" she asked before calling him a derogatory term that I had _never _heard escape her lips.

"Ask Bella," he grunted. "Mom, I need to sit down."

"Bella?" Esme shrieked before pulling him to the living room to sit. "God, Edward, do you need a drink?"

He shook his head.

"Edward passed out because we're having twins," I explained, sitting down and pulling EJ into my lap as he ran to greet me. (Esme had babysat while we were at the doctor's office.) I figured I might as well just spit the story out.

Carlisle walked into the living room then. "I'm sorry," he said, a confused expression on his face. "Did you say Edward passed out because he was stabbed with a pin?"

"Nope." I sighed and leaned into Edward's side. "We're having twins. I have two bugs in my uterus again, and I don't know what the hell we're going to do."

Naturally, Esme had to top Edward's reaction. She didn't pass out, but she immediately broke into a fit of bizarre giggles, doubling over in laughter until tears ran down her face.

"That's your fault, Carlisle," she cackled, pointing an accusing finger at her husband.

"How in the world—"

"Oh, come on, Dr. Cullen! Multiples run in your family. I know that Bella's mother was a twin, but Carlisle, _you're _the one who has a set of triplets for brothers. Edward, blame your father. It's a wonder that Rosalie didn't have multiples!"

Carlisle glared at his wife. "No one really knows if multiples are genetic."

"Oh, blow it out your ass, Carlisle," Esme laughed, pulling her husband into a loving hug.

Edward looked up at his mother. "How in the world is this funny?"

"Oh, this isn't funny," she replied, finally calming down. "I'm laughing because you really are your father's son in so many ways. Carlisle passed out when I was in labor with you, Edward. My big, strong doctor fainted when my water broke!"

Okay, _that _was pretty funny. I laughed until I noticed that both Edward and Carlisle were looking a little dejected. What is it with men and having their pride hurt?

Finally, Esme quieted down. "Okay, I'm sorry," she breathed, coming to sit by Edward. "Why are you bleeding, precious?"

Edward seemed to relax at having his mother baby him for a while. "I hit my head on a counter," he pouted, looking miserable and childish and adorable all at once.

I reached up to kiss his cheek. "You were the most handsome unconscious man I have ever seen," I assured him.

At least _that _made him smile. The ego was already being re-inflated. "Thank you, love," he chuckled, pulling me and EJ onto his lap.

Carlisle was also apparently over his embarrassment, because he sat on Esme's left and held her hand firmly. "Well, guys, let's talk about this."

"Well, there's no question," I began. "We're having twins. And we're keeping them both. I mean, I love them both insanely. I just…wow. That's a whole new budget to plan out, and we're going to have _four children under the age of three. _How in God's name will I be able to pull that off without losing my mind?"

"You're forgetting me," Edward grumbled, still apparently a little cranky from his fall. "I'm going to keep you sane."

"I know, sweetie," I replied. "I'm just scared."

He nodded, silently announcing that he felt the same way.

Abby finally decided to join everyone on the couch, and snuggled between me and Edward, greeting us with kisses. There was no doubt about it: children were blessings. But how many more bugs could our laps hold?

"Esme," Carlisle whispered. "Give them some advice, darling."

"Do you want me to give you some perspective on this?" she asked us.

We both nodded automatically. Esme always gave the best advice.

"I'm not trying to scare either one of you," she said softly. "But worry can hurt the babies, and it can hurt Bella. So you two need to grow up, put your adult pants on, and realize that all four of your children are perfect and worth every struggle you may have to go through with them. Bella, you probably know that better than Edward, just because you're a mother. But it's important to see that you're not in this alone. You know that Carlisle and I are here for you. So are Em, Rose, Ali, and Jazz. You'll always be taken care of. But worrying will do nothing but create problems for you. Me? I'm shocked. But I'm immensely excited. Two more grandchildren! And you guys obviously love these two little bugs, so I know that deep down, you're excited. This should erase worries. Everything will be perfect—as long as you take care of yourselves and your kids. Don't stress out."

Edward and I glanced at each other, biting our lips.

"And just think," Carlisle added, looking a little misty-eyed. "We may have a little girl with brown hair and brown eyes…and a little boy with red hair and green eyes. Fraternal twins could make both of your dreams come true."

A grin broke out over Edward's face, and I knew that he was suddenly okay with this.

"Two little Bellas," he whispered, leaning down to bury his face in my neck. "Oh my god, the chances are even greater for a little girl. And if I had a son that looked like me…oh my god, that would be perfect."

I moved my arm over EJ and Abby and pulled his face to mine, giving him a deep kiss. "Together," I whispered against his lips.

"Forever," he whispered back.

"No matter what," I added.

His reply was enough to make my heart race and make me wonder if our beloved little poppyseeds could sense the change in my body and my mood. "Because _I've got you, I've got everything, my dear_."

* * *

**So now they know-they have two poppyseeds in the oven!  
**

**I love reviews almost as much as I love Daddyward. *sigh*  
**


	27. Running in Circles

**So...guys...I'm still alive. And yes, this story is going to be finished.**

**This is a repost of the last chapter. It was missing the first quarter of the chapter, and I just realized it. After like seven months. My bad. So if it seems redundant, that's because it is. **

**There will be a brand spankin' new chapter shortly after this one goes "on the air." And maybe even a new chapter shortly after that one.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five: "Running in Circles" Edward's POV**

"Daddy got a boo-boo, Daddy got a boo-boo, Daddy got a boo-boo…"

I watched from the couch as my little girl hopped from foot to foot, waving her arms around as she danced around, singing. "Daddy got a boo-boo…"

While Abby danced and sang the very repetitive song, my little boy suddenly noticed his sister and started laughing. "Daddy got a boo-boo!" he giggled, coming to dance next to Abby. "Daddy got a boo-boo!"

Apparently, boo-boos are only funny when you're not the victim. Because even though the bugs' little routine was really freaking cute, I wasn't amused by the subject of their song.

Passing out in the OB-GYN hurts more than your pride, okay? My head had been throbbing ever since I had nearly split it open.

Speaking of, my eardrums nearly split open while EJ and Abby sang. Not because of them…but because Bella was suddenly screeching in the kitchen. "Ahhhhhhhh! What are we going to do?"

EJ and Abby apparently found this to be hilarious, because Abby immediately changed the lyrics of the song: "Daddy got a boo-boo! Ahhhhhh! What we gonna do?"

"What is it, Bella?" I called, not really feeling the need to go to the kitchen and kill a spider or lay down a mousetrap. At least, that's what I figured the culprit was. I had a headache and still felt a little dizzy after my spill. Bella could handle a household pest.

"Do you know how much we spend on diapers a month?"

"Uh…no?"

My girlfriend came running into the living room, holding a notebook and a calculator. "Okay, so I've been looking at finances, and I added up—"

"Daddy got a boo-boo! Ahhhh! What we gonna do?"

Bella closed her eyes and sighed. "Abby, EJ, I know Daddy has a boo-boo. Go look in your toy box for Band-Aids for Daddy."

They ran to their room, but I looked up at Bella. "Why would there be Band-Aids—"

"There's not. But they'll look for at least ten minutes. Listen to me." She sat down beside me and showed me her notes. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to try to comfort her, but that was all I could currently do. "I added up the monthly cost of diapers and wipes. We spend two-hundred dollars on diapers and wipes every month, Edward. Usually about five times a year, we buy baby powder, which costs seven dollars, and diaper rash cream, which costs five dollars a tube. So thirty dollars times five times a year is—"

"We're spending about $2550 a year on diaper care," I finished for her.

"For two children!" she groaned. "That's going to double! Now think of clothes, and formula for the poppyseeds, and doctor's expenses, and a bigger house…god, Edward, what are we going to do?" She buried her face in my shoulder.

"Okay, calm down," I murmured, stroking her hair. "We can't panic about this now, darling. Look, I'll start looking for a better job. A law firm in Port Angeles, maybe.  
They're a dime a dozen up there, and they're always looking for young lawyers. And…I'll claim Abby and EJ on my insurance. And you, and the new poppyseeds, of course."

"You can't do that unless we're married, at the very least," she whimpered. "You may have to adopt EJ and Abby for that to happen. I don't know what your insurance company's policy is."

"Okay, I'll adopt them," I said immediately. "I want them to be Cullens."

Bella peered up at me, eyes wide. "Really?"

I nodded. "Of course. I've always wanted them to be Cullens, from the very first moment I found out you were pregnant with them."

She sniffled. "It may not even be necessary."

"I don't care. I want them to legally be my children."

I tried not cringe as she wiped her nose on my sleeve. "I'll get a job."

"No, you won't," I replied. "Your last pregnancy was high-risk. I don't want you to exert yourself. Maybe after the poppyseeds are born, and you've healed, and you're ready to leave them."

"Edward, _what are we going to do?_"

I shook my head. "I have savings. If worse comes to worse, we can dip into that. Stop worrying. Besides, you're not even thinking of the obvious."

"Which is?" she sniffed.

"EJ and Abby are going to be much bigger when the little ones are here," I reminded her. "They may not even be in diapers by then."

Bella peeked up at me, her big brown eyes illuminated with surprise. "You think?"

"Yeah, honey, why not? We can try. Even if they're just in Pull-Ups by then, that would help."

She nodded slowly. "Yeah…I guess you're right."

"And as for the house, let me think about it," I told her. "Let me start looking for a job first. And then we'll think about a house. But yeah, I agree, we need to get out of here. Too many bad memories in this place…and our kids need room to grow." I leaned down and kissed along her cheekbone, making the blood rise beneath her skin.

"Why must you be the rational one?" she groaned in mock exasperation, flailing in my arms and collapsing against my chest dramatically. I laughed and pulled her into my lap so she was straddling me.

"One of has to be," I teased her, resting my hands on her hips. "But I'm not going to be rational for much longer, because my head is killing me."

Her eyes widened as she remembered my fall, and she leaned in to inspect my bandaged wound. "I still can't believe you fainted—"

"Hush."

"In the OB-GYN's—"

"Shush."

"And hit your head on the—"

"Bella. Seriously."

She sighed, a grin on her face, and took my face in her hands. "I think your ego is more bruised than your head," she cooed, as if I were a child.

"My head isn't bruised," I reminded her. "My head is split open and bleeding."_  
_  
"Aw, you didn't even need stitches. Can you please be a big boy about it?"

I pouted my lip at her. "But it hurts."

"I know it hurts, but you're a big boy and I've seen EJ handle boo-boos better," she whispered, leaning in to kiss my pout. "Why don't you go to bed…" Kiss. "And I'll go get you some Tylenol…" Kiss. "And I'll keep the kids quiet so you can sleep away your grumpiness."

"Mmm. No." I wrapped my arms around her waist. "Stay."

Bella slid her arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder, effectively hugging me with her whole body. I was completely immersed in _her_—her scent, her warmth, and the weight of every part of her, from the lightness of her hair that tickled my face to the soft solidness of her slightly swollen belly that pressed into me.

"This is nice," she murmured as we just held each other.

"How much longer?" I asked.

She understood. "They'll be looking for the Band-Aids for, oh, about five more minutes. Let me go get you some Tylenol."

"No, Bella," I protested. "This is better than Tylenol. You heal me in ways you can't even imagine."

She squeezed me tighter, letting the silence settle between us as I kissed her hair. But she suddenly broke the silence.

"Marry me, Edward."

Immediately, I pulled back to look at her. She still kept her head on my shoulder, not looking at me, just snuggling into me and inhaling my cologne that I knew she loved.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Marry me," she said again, slowly this time, as if I were an imbecile for not understanding. "It's a fairly simple idea, and you know it. Come back and snuggle me."

I sighed, but stayed put. "It's _not _a fairly simple idea, and you know it. You can't just propose to a man because you need your kids to go on his insurance plan."

Bella sat up, pulling away from me, her mouth open. "Oh my god, Edward, that's not why I want to marry you. I just…think it's time."

"It's not time," I said flatly, a little bit of anger ballooning up inside me. I was already grumpy enough; why did she have to push my buttons?

"Edward, do you want to marry me or not?"

Those luminous brown eyes, as usual, weakened me, but I tried to grit my teeth and hold my position on this topic. "Of course I want to marry you. I want to marry you right now. But I don't want you to marry me just because we found out we're having twins, or because it would be financially smart, or because you think it's what I want. I want you to marry me because you want to, and because you can't imagine a future without marrying me. I want you to marry me because it's your deepest desire. All of that other stuff is just…convenience, Bella."

"Goddamn, Edward, would you make up your mind?" she exclaimed. "You've been hinting at marriage for months, but every time I bring it up, you immediately shy away from it."

"Because you want it for all the wrong reasons," I replied. "You need to think about this."

"Think about this?" she repeated dully, like she was in disbelief. "What do you think I think about constantly?"

I stayed silent as I turned this admission over in my brain, pulling my feet up to the couch. Bella seemed to see my "thinking face," because she sighed and leaned back against my knees and thighs.

"Have you talked to Jasper about this?" I asked her.

"Sort of."

"I think you need to talk to him more," I cautioned.

"But this is between you and me," she whispered.

"Yeah, but you're a lot more open with him about your emotions than you are me. I'll tell you what. When Jasper comes home from his honeymoon, make an appointment with him. Talk this over with him. If he thinks that a shotgun wedding is a good idea, I want to have a therapy session with you. We'll talk it over then."  
Relief touched her eyes, but my sweet Bella just _had_ to pout at me. "But we can just go to the city hall now," she whispered, leaning in to kiss the corner of my mouth.

"Um, no. I want a wedding," I informed her. "With you wearing white. I want to dance with you and feed you cake and whatever else comes with the territory."

"Such a damn romantic."

"I'm also going to give you a proper proposal, with an engagement ring," I informed her. "In due time. After we talk to Jazz."

"Of course you are," she rolled her eyes.

"But only because I love you," I replied, leaning in to kiss her nose. "Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad…I'm just…_perplexed._"

"That makes two of us, sweetheart," I chuckled. "I'll never understand this mysterious, gorgeous, frustrating, sexy woman."

"Don't sweet talk me and use those unfair nose kisses."

"What about forehead kisses?"

"No."

"Temple kisses?"

"Edward…"

"Fine," I replied, suddenly flipping us over so she was lying on her back on the couch and I was hovering over her. "Poppyseed kisses."

"Edward!" she shrieked as I moved her shirt up, and in a motion that was commonplace nowadays, started to sprinkle kisses across the bare skin of her belly. The little bump that wasn't quite prominent but definitely there seemed to be perfect for lots of kisses and lots of cuddling. "Stop!" she giggled as I gently tickled her sides while continuing to peck her skin.

"What? I'm kissing my babies," I said innocently, increasing the tickling.

A soft smack landed on my shoulder. "Edward, you jerk! _St-o-o-o-p!_"

"Tell me you love me," I told her.

"No!"

Bella tried to wiggle away, but I was much stronger than her. After she was pinned down, I stood up and peeled her socks off her feet.

"No! Not the feet!" she cried as my fingertips started to stroke her very ticklish soles. Bella suddenly started kicking violently, laughing as tears streamed down her face. "Edward!"

"Oh, is my girl ticklish?" I teased her. "I didn't know that about her."

"Shut up, yes you did!" she shrieked. "Let go!"

"Nope, not until you tell me—"

"I love you!" she screamed. "I love you to the ends of the earth! I love you to the moon and back! I love you forever and always! Now stop!"

I laughed and dropped her feet before dropping down on the couch beside her and pulling her into my arms. "That's much more than I was asking for, but thank you, darling. I love you, too."

A weak slap landed on my chest, but she still snuggled into me and rested her head on my shoulder again. "I also simultaneously hate you. What am I, a Tickle Me Elmo?"

"A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, that tickles," I mimicked the _Sesame Street _character, pressing a kiss to the sweet spot behind her ear and earning a funny glance. "What?"

"You did that voice _really _well," she remarked.

I laughed and shook my head. "Nah. Okay, now I think I need some Tylenol. That little tickle fight totally went against the doctor's orders for my own delicate condition."

Bella rolled her eyes, smacked a quick kiss against my cheek, and stood up. "I knew Superman would find his Kryptonite. I'll go get you something and then start making dinner. You know, the bugs have been way too quiet." She turned her head toward the hallway that led to the bedrooms before calling, "EJ! Abby! Come to Daddy!"

She ventured into the kitchen, and my bugs ran to me, holding various items that didn't look anything like toys. "Here ya go, Daddy!" Abby said cheerfully, holding a box of Disney Band-Aids. "For boo-boo!"

"Where did you get that, baby girl?" I asked, taking the box away from her.

"Daddy, look!" EJ cheered, waving around an object that looked strangely like a-

"Whoa, baby, give that to me _now_," I said, grabbing him and snatching the pink razor from him. "Have you guys been in the medicine cabinet? How did you get up there? Come here."

My head spun as I stood up and walked to the bathroom—I had definitely exerted myself, but I needed to figure out how in the world my son had gotten his hands on a razor and then figure out how to baby-proof the area. Of course, as soon as _that _thought entered my head, I had to smile. I wasn't baby-proofing anymore. I was _toddler-proofing_. My kids weren't babies at all, and they had to be ready to relinquish that title to their new siblings.

As soon as we entered the bathroom, Abby hopped up on the closed toilet lid and I saw that she was able to reach the cabinet that hung above it. With ease, she opened the cabinet and pulled a tube of toothpaste from the bottom shelf.

"No," I said, trying to sound firm even though I was a bit amazed. "This is not for Abby and EJ. Leave it alone."

She whined as I scooped her up and put the toothpaste, Band-Aids, and razor back on the shelf. I quickly changed my mind, though—she couldn't reach any of the upper shelves, so I just moved all of the items off the bottom shelf. "Stay out of here, bugs."

A shrill, heart-stopping cry pierced the air. I immediately whipped around to see EJ sitting in the floor, with one of my black razors—and a lot of blood dripping on the white tile from his little finger.

Of course, Abby started screaming as soon as she realized her brother was hurt.

Putting Abby on the floor, I pulled him to my arms, snatching the razor from him and dropping it in the sink. "Bella!" I called. "I need help!"

Bella was already in the hallway as soon as she heard our son's cries. "Take Abby," I told her. "You don't need to clean up the blood and get sick."

She was quick enough that she saw the razor and the blood, so she just scooped up Abby, weakly promising to give her a cookie.

I, of course, tended to EJ.

"It's okay, buddy," I told him, pulling out the Band-Aids, the Neosporin, and a washcloth. He sobbed as I sat on toilet lid and held him in my lap, using the washcloth to stop the bleeding and clean the wound. "It's just a boo-boo."

"Boo-boo hurts bad," he cried into my shirt.

"I know," I soothed him, kissing his hair and rubbing his back as I continued to press the cloth to the wound. "Shh, Daddy's here."

He cried as the blood finally quit flowing, and literally screamed as the Neosporin stung his rather large wound. But I finally wrapped his finger up in a Band-Aid.

"All done," I tried to say cheerfully, but he still cried. So I just held him tight, let him sob into my shoulder, and rubbed his back as I used the washcloth to clean up the blood from the floor.

After I dropped the washcloth into the washing machine and poured a capful of bleach into the cycle, I walked into the kitchen. Abby was sated and enjoying an oatmeal cookie, so Bella came to fuss over EJ.

"Come see Mommy," she requested in her very best Mommy voice—the one that even seemed to comfort me, despite my throbbing head and my grated nerves.

"No," he replied, clinging to me for dear life. "Daddy."

I squeezed him tighter and shrugged at Bella. "I'm going to rock him. He might cry it out and go to sleep."

"Make him a sippy cup, Daddy," Bella cooed, stroking EJ's hair. "I'll make him some chicken nuggets."

I quickly poured some milk into a sippy cup, walked to the nursery, and found the special blanket that he still worshipped. As soon as we were folded up into the rocking chair with the blanket wrapped around him, we both seemed to calm down a little. His sobs quieted down to soft cries, and I was able to collect my thoughts. I rocked back and forth, he snuggled into me and gripped my shirt, and we just worked on soothing each other. He wasn't intending to comfort me, but just having him close and having him rely on me was enough to make me happy.

EJ finally accepted the sippy cup, which put an end to the cries. He fell asleep as I rocked him. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but the next thing I knew, I was feeling Abby crawling into my lap. "Daddy," she whispered. "Num-num time."

Dinner was ready, I surmised. "Okay," I whispered back, not wanting to wake EJ.

Abby smiled and sat on the thigh that EJ was not sleeping on. I wrapped an arm around her and kept rocking. She cuddled with me and EJ, and before I knew it, my eyes were shut again.

My sleep was deep enough that I dreamed of two toddlers, two babies, and a very happy Mrs. Bella Cullen.

* * *

Bella didn't bring up marriage again for a few days, which made me think that it was just yet another whim. I wanted to marry her desperately, but like I told her, I wanted her whole heart in it. But when Jasper and Alice came home from their honeymoon, she scheduled an appointment with him, like she promised me she would.  
I stayed home with the bugs while she went to her Saturday appointment. While I was cooking breakfast for them, I spied a note taped to the coffee pot that I hadn't touched yet. Curious, I plucked it off and read it.  
_  
I thawed some sausage if you want to use that for breakfast. Love you. Oh, and by the way, we wouldn't be running in circles over and over again if you just married me.  
_  
Damn that beautiful girl. She was continually coming up with better defenses, better reasons, better excuses, better logic. I didn't know now much longer I would be able to say no.

"Hey, EJ? Abby?" I asked my kids as I pulled the sausage out. "Do you think I should propose to your mom?"

They stared at me blankly from where they played on the floor.

"That's what I thought you would say," I joked. "Do you think I should do it soon?"

More blank stares and silence.

"Figures," I muttered. "Hey, do you guys think I should go see Nana and ask her about a ring?"

Their eyes lit up, and Abby nodded eagerly. "Let's go see Nana, Daddy."

"That's what I thought," I grinned.

* * *

**Alrighty, new chapter coming up in T minus fifteen minutes. I won't ask for reviews since you've already read most of this. Sorry for the error!**

**Love,  
Sarah**


	28. Ready

**I'm bouncing up and down in excitement. Still alive, ya know.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six: "Ready" Edward's POV**

"Oh, what brings you here?" Mom asked in surprise as I walked into her kitchen without announcing myself, my arms filled with bugs and a diaper bag. Immediately she ran to scoop EJ up into her arms and give him an exuberant kiss. "I love to see my babies."

"Bella has a doctor appointment," I explained, "and Abby and EJ wanted to see their Nana."

Mom's eyebrows shot up. "And you're missing Bella's doctor appointment?"

"It's not a baby appointment; it's a Jasper appointment."

"Oh. That will be good for her."

"I hope so."

"Well, I'm very boring today," she shrugged, "but you three are welcome to join me. I was thinking about baking, anyway."

"Mom. Why don't you go ask for more hours at the library? You know they'll give them to you."

She shook her head, her reddish hair bouncing. "No, I'm enjoying being a part-time housewife."

"You seem to be bored," I remarked as I sat Abby down on her feet and ran to grab the baby gate Mom kept in the pantry. Before Abby could even think of escaping, I had it locked in the doorway.

"I'm _relaxed_," Mom corrected me. "Speaking of, I hope you're keeping Bella relaxed. I worry about her, Edward. You should be doing the housekeeping and the grocery shopping and the—"

"I try," I said, rolling my eyes. "But you know Bella. Even though she knows she should be taking it easy, she has to feel needed in order to feel complete. She just wants to take care of everyone. Even when she's vomiting, she just pulls her head from the toilet and starts changing diapers and cooking breakfast. I'm hoping that once she gains a little weight, her feet will swell and she'll want to sit down."

A smirk crossed Mom's face. "Don't count on it. The second trimester is usually the most fun for the mother, so she'll want to be up and about."

"Nana," EJ cooed, pulling gently on her necklace. "Bird."

"That is a bird," Mom agreed, fingering the charm that hung on the silver chain around her neck. "Why don't we go to the big window and watch the birds outside while Daddy musters up the courage to tell me why he really came over here?"

I rolled my eyes and sat at the table while they walked to the window wall in the kitchen. Abby came and sat in my lap while Mom and EJ stood by the window and discussed the birds. Bella had been teaching the bugs colors, so Mom made it a point to show him the variously-colored birds—"See the red bird? Red? Can you say _red_?"

Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. "Mom, Bella wants to get married."

Mom looked at me over her shoulder with amusement on her face. "I know."

"Do you think we're ready for that?"

"Well, Edward, are you going to get any more ready?"

"What do you mean?"

"Two kids and two on the way. You love each other more than you originally thought possible. She's taken great strides in recovering from her previous marriage and divorce. If you want to get married, now wouldn't be a bad time."

"I know, but…" I sighed. "Everyone is giving me conflicting advice. _Don't marry her. Don't pressure her. Marry her ASAP. She needs it. Give her space. She doesn't need space. _Even Bella has sent me mixed signals. Hell, Bella has sent me more mixed signals than anyone."

"Edward, if you had it your way, would you two be married right now?"

"Of course," I replied, shocked that she would even ask.

"And has Bella told you recently that she wants to get married?"

"This morning."

"Well, there you go, sweetheart. Trust me when I say that you're not going to find the time to get married after the new bugs are born. At least, not for a couple of years. A shotgun wedding isn't ideal, but I think it's what both of you want. But who am I to tell you what to do?"

"I hate this whole saga of events that have happened in the past three years," I groaned. "Sometimes I feel like if I had just stayed with my family instead of going to school in Chicago, I would have met Bella years ago, and Jacob would have never happened, and all of this pain could have been avoided."

Mom shook her head. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say, child. If that were the case, then you wouldn't have EJ and Abby. And you and Bella wouldn't be the same couple that you are now. Every experience contributes to a couple's love. You two harbor more appreciation and respect for each other because you have taken care of each other through so much pain. Never wish that you could change the past. It's futile, pointless, childish, and foolish. It distracts you from changing the future."

I couldn't help but smile at her. "I'm probably the only guy who has a fortune cookie for a mother."

"Well, and Emmett, of course."

I laughed and shook my head before thinking for a minute. "Well, I do have one more question, Mom."

"Anything, love."

"Do you still want Bella to wear your ring?"

Mom stared at me for a second, and then the most beautiful smile I had ever seen on her face broke out. It reminded me of sunshine.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "Yes, I want Bella to have my ring! Here, sweetheart."

To my surprise, she pulled the engagement ring off her finger and dropped it in my hand. I wasn't expecting to get it _that _quickly, but as soon as I felt its weight in my hand, I knew that it was right.

"Thank you, Mom," I whispered, tears in my eyes. God, I was turning into such a _girl._

"I wouldn't want any other girl to wear it, my love."

I put Abby on the floor again and hugged my mom, trying to express as much gratitude as I could. We were interrupted by my dad, though, when he walked through the door.

"What's this?" he asked, seeing our hug. "Is everything okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, everything is great. Why are you working the graveyard shift?"

"It happens." He raked a hand through his graying blond hair. "Where's Bella?"

"With Jasper," Mom said meaningfully.

"That'll be good for her," Dad said, echoing her statements from earlier.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"And how is she doing?"

"Great," I replied, smiling at the thought of the way her belly swelled _just enough_. "She and the poppyseeds are doing great."

"Poppyseeds?" Mom asked, raising an eyebrow.

I snorted. "Long story. They're still our bugs, but Bella and I have started calling them poppyseeds."

"That's…interesting," Dad said slowly, making me shrug.

"You've told Charlie, right?" Mom asked me.

As soon as I started to nod, a thought occurred to me.

"Shit!" I exclaimed. "Charlie!"

"What?" Mom replied. "You haven't told Charlie?"

"No! I mean, yes! We have! I just have to…ugh, how did I forget that?" I grabbed my car keys from the table. "EJ, Abby, come on. We have to go see Grandpa."  
After I loaded the kids up, I kissed Mom and thanked her for the ring before speeding off. On my way back to Forks, I called Charlie on my cell phone, praying he wasn't working.

"Edward?" he answered. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, sir," I replied immediately, wanting to have him as relaxed as possible. "I was just wondering if you would be available to have lunch with me today. My treat."

"Just you?"

"Well...me and the kids. Bella is out and about today, running errands."

"Uh, sure, kid. Wanna do Chinese at eleven?"

I glanced at the clock—ten thirty. "Sounds perfect."

I was grateful that EJ and Abby seemed to be in good spirits today while I asked their grandpa a very important question. They went into their high chairs at the restaurant without complaint and occupied themselves with crayons and coloring books. I drummed my fingers nervously as I waited for Charlie. Finally, he approached, wearing jeans and an old flannel shirt. I was relieved to see that his gun holster was conspicuously missing.

I stood up to shake his hand. "Good to see you, sir. Thank you for having lunch with us."

"No problem, son," he replied, pulling out a chair and sitting down. He kissed the kids and greeted them warmly. Meanwhile, I was sweating.  
_  
Why are you so nervous? You've already knocked her up. You know he'll give you his blessing to marry her.  
_  
"I haven't tried this place yet," he mused, his moustache twitching as he looked over a menu.

"I'm quite a fan of the cho-cho steak," I replied. "Bella likes the honey walnut shrimp."

"Oh, I wouldn't ask you to buy me that—"

"Order whatever you want," I smiled at him. "Seriously. My treat. It's the least I can do."

He ended up ordering the shrimp—like father, like daughter, I guess—and I ended up nearly having a panic attack as I tried to broach the subject.

It wasn't until I was cutting up chicken into small bites for the bugs that he finally said something that gave me some confidence.

"Hot," I warned EJ, putting the bites of chicken in front of him. "Hot. Be careful."

"You're a good father, Edward," Charlie remarked, watching me and sipping his Coke.

"Thank you," I replied, feeling flattered at his words. And feeling much better. If he thought I was a good father, then surely he would give me his blessing…? "I love these children so much. Just as much as I love the children that Bella is currently carrying."

He blanched—yes, Charlie had been just as surprised as everyone else to learn that we were expecting another set of twins, and it still made him nervous to think about it. "Well," he mumbled, taking a bite of his food, "I wouldn't have any other man for my Bella or my bugs."

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," I said, tired of beating around the bush. "I know that I've gone out of order, traditionally. I know she shouldn't be pregnant yet…but what's done is done, I suppose. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you. But, sir, I would like to ask your permission to marry your daughter. I love her more than my own life. I love our children more than my own life. It would make me the happiest man in the world if I could receive your permission and blessing to make Bella my wife for eternity. I know I don't deserve her, and I know I'll never be good enough, but she's my reason for existence. She'll always be the center of my world."

Charlie's face turned red, but he gave me an amused smile. "You know that since she's already been divorced, you don't really have to ask my permission, son."

"No, sir, I do," I replied. "I feel like I've messed things up so much that perhaps this would help make things a tad better."

"Regardless, I appreciate the gesture, and it makes me respect you even more," Charlie continued. "Of course you have my permission and my blessing. You keep my baby girl happy, healthy, and _alive._And I would prefer for my grandbabies to have a father and a mother that are married."

The feeling of knowing that I was accepted…_approved of_…by Bella's father—the only other man who loved her just as much as I did—was incredible. It was all I could do to keep from tearing up as I whispered, "Thank you, sir."

"No, son, _thank you_for taking care of her like you do."

"I can honestly say that it's the greatest honor of my life."

"I know that. If it wasn't, you wouldn't have my blessing."

* * *

After lunch, Charlie and I parted ways. I was driving through Forks, on my way back to Bella's house, when a brightly-colored sign caught my eye in the gray Washington landscape.

It was for a realty company. It sat on the lawn of an absolutely stunning one-story house. The house was painted white, and looked like a cottage with a wide front porch and little curlicues on the trim. Rosebushes and rocking chairs gave it a homey feel. There was even a swing hanging from the tree in the front yard.

The sign read _Open House._

I immediately pulled into the driveway, where a sedan was sitting. The magnet on the side of the car informed me it belonged to real estate agent Heidi Volturi.  
"EJ, Abby, we're taking a detour," I murmured, cutting the engine.

Heidi—a woman with bright red hair and lots of lipstick—walked outside as I unbuckled the bugs from their car seats. Putting both of them in the crooks of my arm, I approached her. "Hi," I said. "Is open house still…open?"

"Absolutely," she smiled. "I'm Heidi Volturi, of Volturi Real Estate. Would you like to take a look?"

"Yes, please. I hope you don't mind me bringing the kids in."

"Of course not. The family that's selling has kids, so it's very childproofed. Come in."

I followed her up the porch and into a spacious foyer. The first thing I noticed about the inside was that there were lots of windows that gave it a lot of light and a very open environment. _My mom would love it, _I mused.

"So they're selling, not renting?" I asked, taking a look around at the lovely hardwood floors and high ceilings.

"Yes."

"Why? Is something wrong with the house?"

"Not at all. They're moving to Utah. They actually don't want to leave this house, but their jobs are taking them elsewhere. Of course, who would want to leave this house? Five bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms…"

"Five bedrooms?" I asked in disbelief. _God, that would be perfect…a room for me and Bella, a room for EJ, a room for Abby, a nursery for the poppyseeds…and then another bedroom for when the poppyseeds wanted their own space from each other.  
_  
Heidi interrupted my thoughts. "Yes, five bedrooms. It's quite a large house, compared to what it looks like from the outside. Come, let me show you."

We walked down a hallway into a very spacious living room. "Perfect for kids, right?" she smiled at me. "Plenty of room to romp and play in."

"Indeed," I replied, trying not to show just how impressed I was. My father had taught me how to bargain, of course.  
"The kitchen is even better. Come look."

As soon as I saw the kitchen, I knew that this was the house of Bella's dreams. Tile floors…marble countertops…a gorgeous island in the middle…a huge stove/oven…and best of all, no glass cabinets to trigger any memories of Jacob.

"They're also including the appliances," Heidi told me. "The refrigerator, dishwasher, and fabulous toaster oven ahead."

"Do I want to know how much this costs?" I asked half-jokingly, nearly positive it was way out of my league.

When she told me the actual asking price, my jaw dropped.

"Okay, why is it that cheap?" I asked seriously. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing. The real estate market is crap. It's been on the market for months now, and they keep having to slash the price because nobody can afford to buy a new house. Housing prices are at quite a low, you know."

"May I see the rest of it?"

"Of course. Follow me."

The master bedroom was perfect for me and Bella, but the bathroom was even better. A large Jacuzzi tub and a nice walled-in shower nearly beckoned to me. I knew she would love the Jacuzzi in the later stages of her pregnancy, when her legs, feet, and back would be aching…

_Slow down, Edward._

The other bedrooms and bathrooms were smaller, but perfect for kids. I could just picture EJ and Abby playing on the floors of two of the bedrooms…running down the halls…and smaller brunette babies learning to take their first steps in the living room…

_Jeez._

But it was the backyard that sold me. Large, grassy, and surrounded by trees, it offered privacy, room to run, and perfect space for EJ and Abby's swing-set. The deck attached to the back of the house would be great for cookouts…

"I would like to make an offer," I heard myself saying before I even realized I was saying it.

"Already? Wonderful!" Heidi exclaimed.

But of course, my rational side kicked in. "No, I mean…I guess I shouldn't dive into it so fast, huh? My brother works in architecture and construction. Would you mind if I brought him in to examine the foundation and such?"

"Of course not."

"Good. Not to mention that the woman in my life needs to approve it."

"Oh, why not surprise her?" Heidi teased, clearly desperate to make a sale.

_Huh. A surprise._

I felt the weight of the engagement ring in my pocket, and a plan started to form in my head.

"Do you mind if I call my brother now?" I asked her. "He can probably stop by."

"Of course not. Go ahead."

I set the bugs on their feet in the grass and pulled out my phone. As soon as Emmett picked up, I said, "Hey, do you want to be my wingman?"

* * *

**Rings and blessings and houses, oh my!**

**I probably have two readers left (rosellebec and cutie16 are my guesses) but at least two reviews would be nice :)**

**And, of course, I was out of the Twi-loop for seven months...so how 'bout that little scandal this summer?**

***runs back to Microsoft Word to finish next chapter***


	29. Surprise

Edward was acting…strange.

I knew that he was up to something, but I couldn't figure out exactly what. He was as sweet and loving as ever—doting, attentive, flirtatious, playful, and of course addicted to kissing and petting my tummy—but a few things had caught my attention. The way he always kept his phone in his pocket, never letting me see it. The phone calls he would take at some pretty inopportune times—and that he would walk outside to answer. The trips to town.

I kept asking him about it, and he kept giving me the same answer:

"I'm pulling a surprise together, sweetheart. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

And then he would always kiss me silly, effectively distracting me.

Emmett seemed to be in cahoots with him, but Em always gave me a similar answer. I figured that if Emmett approved of Edward's plan, it would be okay, so I tried not to worry.

I just focused on my bugs, my poppyseeds, and my therapy with Jasper.

It was actually coming along quite nicely. I wrote the letters he suggested, kept a journal, and even submitted to his "self-esteem boosting" homework assignments. Life still wasn't one-hundred percent peachy, but it was getting there. I still had my meltdowns, my moments of self-doubt, my panic attacks from thoughts of Jacob, my need to control everything around me, especially the parenting of my children…but it was okay. Jasper was working me through it, and Edward was loving me through it.

* * *

One Saturday I woke up to an empty bed and a quiet house, which was extremely unusual. Now that EJ and Abby were in toddler beds, they usually climbed into bed with me and Edward in the mornings. I looked at the clock and saw that it was after nine AM—extremely late for me, not that I was surprised, because carrying twins in your belly and twins in your arms wears you out—so I figured that Edward had taken them outside or something.

I rolled over in bed to lounge around some more until my face connected with a sheet of paper.

Confused, I sat up and read it.

_Good morning, my love.  
__I'm taking the bugs to my parents' house. I have a day planned for just you and me. Take your time and enjoy your quiet morning, but plan to go out for lunch.  
__I love you so much.  
__-Edward_

I couldn't stop the smile on my face. Did this man have any idea how sweet and perfect he was?

I rested in bed for a few minutes before finally heaving myself out. Undressing for a shower, I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror. God, I was really showing. I had a definite bump that protruded from my body, and my breasts were looking bigger, too. Edward had noticed this last night, and hadn't been able to take his eyes off of me. (Or his hands.) But today I seemed to look _really _pregnant. There would be no hiding this.

Because I felt a little self-conscious, but mainly because I missed him, I snapped a picture of my naked belly and texted it to him with the message, _Do I look ridiculous yet?_

His reply was almost instantaneous. _You look gorgeous. I wish I was there to make you feel gorgeous._

_ Come home and join me for a bath._

_ No dice. I'm working on your surprise._

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but smile. I really didn't deserve him.

After I showered, I pulled on a new blue maternity top that Alice had bought me. I still wasn't big enough to only resort to maternity clothes, but this was a beautiful shirt that would carry me through the next month or so. It was low-cut enough to tease my boyfriend but loose enough to mostly conceal my belly from the public. Maybe they would just think I was getting fat…

After I was dressed, groomed, and primped, I sat at the kitchen table and slowly ate an apple, relishing the quiet. I loved my kids, but they were quite loud, to say the least. I couldn't imagine what it would be like when I had four kids screaming and squealing and giggling and chatting and crying.

My thoughts were interrupted when Edward finally came home. He entered the kitchen with an exultant but secretive smile on my face. "Hey, beautiful," he greeted me with a kiss. "You taste…fruity."

"The poppyseeds were starving," I explained, rubbing my belly. "But I saved room for lunch. Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," he replied, his hands cupping my belly. "Do you trust me?"

"That depends."

"Yeah, right. You totally do. Do you need to use the bathroom?"

"No, they're giving bladder a vacation today."

"Then here, let me do this."

I was surprised when he lifted a blindfold and tied it over my eyes. "Comfortable?" he asked me after it was secure.

"Um, seriously?"

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

I couldn't see anything. "Uh…six?" I guessed.

"Nope. You're good to go." I felt him peck my lips. "I'm going to lead you to the car."

"Is this really necessary?" I asked him petulantly.

"Humor me."

I sighed ostentatiously, but still smiled, so he knew I just enjoyed giving him a hard time. He laughed and playfully swatted my bottom before he led me through the house, being extra careful on the porch steps. After we defeated those, he opened the door to his Volvo-I recognized the beeping from the key fob-and helped me sit down.

"Comfy?" he asked as he buckled my seatbelt for me.

"As comfy as I can be when I'm blind."

"Good." He closed the door.

I tried to use my memory to figure out where we were headed. I knew he was definitely going into Forks, past the police station...past the bank...past the souvenir shop...but then he took a turn on a road I rarely used, and then another turn.

"Are you trying to confuse me?" I asked him.

He giggled-literally giggled-which made my heart turn flips. I blindly searched for his hand on the gearshift and finally squeezed it. He laced our fingers together and brought my hand to his lips for a kiss.

I don't know how long we drove, but finally, I was completely lost as he put the car in park and cut the engine. I unbuckled my seatbelt and waited for him to come help me out. When he did, I couldn't tell by the smells and sounds where we were. It was very quiet, almost like it was secluded, but it didn't smell like the woods or anything.

"Just let me lead you," he murmured, kissing my forehead.

"I'm trusting you..."

"Good."

He took my hands and led me slowly down something that felt like concrete. We walked up a few wooden stairs, across more wood...and a door opened.

"Step up, darling," he told me, helping me through the door. Whatever building this was didn't smell familiar. We finally came to a stop, and Edward quit touching me.

"Okay," he finally said. "You can look."

I ripped off the blindfold and looked around. We were in an empty house? Somewhere I had never been before. It was pretty, but it was empty. No furniture whatsoever.

"Where are we?" I asked him.

He smiled exultantly and held up something small and silver. "Welcome home, my love."

I stared at him, uncomprehending. "What?"

"Welcome home," he said again. "Surprise. You are now a resident of 17 Eclipse Street."

I continued to stare at him. "What?"

"I bought us a house," he replied softly. "Surprise."

My mouth fell open. On one hand, it was really quite...bold...of him to do this, but on the other hand, it was...ridiculously romantic. I knew that Edward wouldn't have  
bought it unless he knew I would absolutely love it.

So, I ran.

I ran through the house, looking at every room. And of course Edward had bought a house that I absolutely loved.

When I had seen every feature, he led me to the fifth bedroom. He paused outside the closed door and took my hand. "I know that one day, the poppyseeds will want their own rooms," he smiled at me. "But I thought that until that day comes, this could be your room."

I didn't understand. "Wait, what? You don't want to share a room with me?"

"Um, of course I do," he rolled his eyes. "But I thought you'd want a room for_ this_."

He opened the door, and instantly, my breath caught in my throat. My boyfriend had stocked the room with canvases, easels, and more acrylic paints and brushes than I knew what to do with. Furniture was already in the room, with a comfortable chair to paint in and long shelves of art supplies.

"Oh my god, Edward," I whispered. "Are you serious?"

He nodded with a grin. "Bella, that painting you gave me for Christmas..." He sighed, admiringly, and shook his head. "You have extraordinary talent. I want this room to be your outlet, your sanctuary, your place to love yourself and your art."

Damn pregnancy hormones. At least, that's what I would blame when I started to cry.

"Bella," he chuckled. "Don't cry. And I even have a key to keep the bugs out of this room. I imagine that would be quite the disaster."

"Edward, I love you so much," I choked.

"As I love you, darling," he smiled at me, kissing my hairline. "But I have another surprise."

"Edward!"

"Humor me," he grinned crookedly before walking to a corner, where canvases of all sizes were leaning against each other. He looked behind the stack of canvases and pulled out a medium-sized one. "I don't have any artistic ability whatsoever," he grinned, "but I've been told I have nice handwriting, for a guy. Don't laugh, okay?"

"Just show it to me," I laughed, rolling my eyes at the way he guarded the canvas against his stomach.

He laughed with me before falling to...one knee.

I gasped as he turned the canvas around to face me.

It was simply white, but in blue paint, he had scrawled across it in his perfect handwriting: _Will you marry me?_

"Edward," I choked again. "Oh my godl."

He smiled amusedly at me before swallowing hard. "I wanted to do this the right way," he replied. "I wanted to provide you with a warm, safe, beautiful home untainted with any bad memories. Somewhere that you and our children can feel safe. Somewhere we can make wonderful memories, starting with this."

My mouth fell open as he pulled something sparkly from his pocket.

"Isabella Marie Swan?" he smiled at me. "I promise to love you-and our children-forever. Every single day of forever. And I promise to always be there for you and for our family. To love, honor, cherish, and protect the five loves of my life-EJ, Abby, our two poppyseeds, and you. So...will you marry me?"

And I couldn't help it. I still blame the hormones. Edward says it was his romantic expertise. Either way, I broke down into tears and hysteria-the very best kind of tears and hysteria.

He just watched me as I blubbered and freaked out.

Naturally, it was humiliating.

I finally calmed down. "Wait," I murmured, my eyes darting around. "I want to do this in a fun way, too."

I grabbed a canvas the same size as his and found a large paintbrush and a tube of green paint. Keeping the face of the canvas away from his eyes, I quickly wrote, "Yes!" on the canvas.

When I revealed it to him, my heart melted. Because he started to cry.

"God, Bella," he whispered, dropping his canvas and running to me. I managed to safely put the wet canvas on the floor before he swooped me up, spinning me around and kissing me silly, just like when we found out I was pregnant.

"I love you I love you I love you I love you," he chanted.

I laughed and continued to kiss him.

Finally, I pulled away. "Where's my ring?" I teased him.

He grinned and took my hand, slipping the rock onto my hand. I instantly recognized it as Esme's engagement ring. Oh my god-I had a Cullen family heirloom.

I was about to be a Cullen.

"I thought it was perfect," he murmured, kissing it as soon as it was secured on my finger. Esme and I had the same ring size-how convenient. "Four sapphires...beautiful, unique treasures, just like our four children."

"Damn, I love you so much," I gasped before kissing him again.

Many, many moments later, we dropped to the ground. "Wait," I said, pulling away from him as soon as his hands slipped under my shirt. "Are there any more surprises? There won't be a surprise party in the backyard or anything, will there?"

He smiled at me. "No, love. I wanted to share this with you and only you."

"Okay. Then yes, you may undress me."

* * *

He was prepared, of course. Some time later, we were wrapped up in a blanket on the carpeted floor, snuggling, sated, love-drunk. I couldn't stop looking at my new ring.

"So have you thought of a date?" he teased me, kissing the hollow behind my ear. Like we had time for thinking.

"Mmm," I purred. "Tonight."

"Ha. But seriously."

"Seriously," I said. "I want to be married when our poppyseeds are born. And I don't want to look too terribly pregnant at my wedding. Alice could probably find some creative dress to hide my bump. We could go to the town hall and have a little reception at our house afterward for the family."

"Not tonight," he replied. "Alice can't even work that fast. And I'm not going to the town hall. We can have a small ceremony at my parents' house. Like Alice and Jasper, except without the designer dress and huge guest list. Next weekend."

I stared at him. "Would Esme and Carlisle care?"

"Bella, you're too smart to ask such stupid questions."

I laughed. "Okay, you're right. Well...let's call them and book their house. For Saturday."

"You're serious," he murmured.

"As a heart attack," I replied.

"Okay," he grinned at me. "Let's do this."

* * *

**They're engaged! They're engaged! They're engaged!**

**Okay. Keep calm and review!**


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